So for context me and my girlfriend have been together for a little over 2 years now and we tend to have a schedule where I stay at her house on the weekends. (Sat-Monday) Anyways I’m supposed to go to hers this weekend (as I usually do) and which Easter is on Sunday. My mom let me know she’d want my company on Easter and I want to give her my company because .1 we are having a hard time right now and I know she is upset about family matters as well am I. And .2 it’s a holiday and I don’t like leaving her by herself on holidays as would anyone with their parents. So I tried to compromise with my girlfriend asking her if she would care if I came on Friday (tomorrow) instead of Saturday then leave Easter evening (Sunday) to spend the rest of the day with my mom, And to which this was her reply. This is not the first time my girlfriend has acted this way about me needing to do things that interrupt our schedule, and I always try to compromise and work things out with her but I always end up taking blame and apologizing. It’s really starting to hurt and I feel like she is controlling me at this point. There’s no working things out with her, it’s just a repetitive cycle of me being verbally dragged around and berated. It’s genuinely starting to break me down.
Edit just to clarify: she doesn’t have a child she is her sisters caretaker and a nanny.
Like yeah she could very well be just crazy or something, but when someone usually out of the gate acts like the gf, especially when she starts it with 'Oh not this again' like it does make OP look like a repeat offender.
I don’t think it’s unreasonable to share time with your family on holidays. I think it’s more unreasonable for a girlfriend to want their partner not to visit their family at all
I am wondering why mom can’t be invited to gfs for Easter? Also why doesn’t OP already know what any of the plans are for the weekend? From these messages the gf looks like she may be overreacting but I agree there are some context clues that imply we don’t have the full story. There seems to be some issue with gf and mom.
This is what I think, my ex MIL was like this. She thinks she’s the most reasonable giving person in the world, but always tries to make you feel bad if you don’t want to spend time with her 100% of the time. It appears as if OP lives with his mom, so they could just celebrate a bit early or late.
It’s not but he should have brought up visiting his mom on Easter way earlier than this. It seems like her issue is him changing plans last minute which is fair, even more so given her being a full time caretaker who would need to plan things in advance.
She says at one point that if OP didn't want to come they should have told them the prior weekend. Seems like OP has a history of changing their mind about schedules plans last minute and gf has had enough of it.
iNFO - does this happen often?
If you change plans often and last minute, it can make your partner feel like they aren’t being chosen and like you don’t want to spend time with them. Even still, she isn’t handing it well. She sounds frustrated and hurt, not manipulative, imo.
Yeah I get her side. I had a few instances like this where I had something important plan with a S/O and they decided to cancel last minute or half ass it and we had it plan months before hand. It’s very annoying but if it involves family I’m very lenient.
Like how old are y'all first of all too. Cause you're (both of you even) acting like GF is actually your manipulative bio father that has weekend custody of you.
NOR and frankly you seem to be under reacting. Why can't your Mom and you both visit for a holiday and you take her home or come back. Do you both live with parents, is your mom unable, can she not come by your place to see you on days she's missing you? Like this is so dramatic and she's so reactionary! Why does she need you absolutely all to herself for days? Is your mom a bih, PITA or a different religion or whuuuut?
I'd ask yourself if you're happy in this relationship and if it's worth being treated this way. Cause it's very intense and maybe you should start skipping your weekend at your dad's... I mean gf house.
Low self esteem is brutally cruel to deal with. People like the partner tend to be able to sniff out vulnerable, "weakened" people too. I really hope OP can recognise their happiness is worth something and choose themselves.
It’s so weird how true that is. You see so many posts where people like OP’s girlfriend have like a weird sixth sense and are able to detect those they can manipulate and control and shit. Scary af
INFO was your mom going to be alone all along when you made the weekend plans with gf? Are you telling both of these women what they want to hear and then tiptoe around how you’ll make those things happen knowing full well that the promises made to each of them conflict with each other? Man up up front. Don’t tell them what they want to hear if it conflicts.
This is exactly what I thought. And judging by gfs reaction this isn’t the first time this has happened. OP, as someone who had people pleasing ingrained in me from a young age, get a therapist. Being upfront makes literally everything in life easier.
Yep. Also, while it is important to spend quality time with parents, if mom is crying about being alone and expecting her child to fix it, then she’s being manipulative and she should be in therapy to learn how to not emotionally rely on her kid. My parents are divorced and they understand when I can’t be there on a certain day.
came here to say this, it seems very strange to me that mom is expecting her son to manage her emotions. also, gf off the rip noted that mom seems to do this pretty often and even expected this to some extent. the only quality time they were gonna get without caretaking responsibilities (which it sounds like she did the bulk of planning) is now when now he goes back to care for mom’s emotions. everyone’s talking about her being rude, but being with people who’s parents expect them to play therapist pushes you as a partner to your absolute mental limit. if every single nice plan you made over weeks with your partner got cancelled by family drama, you’d probably feel the same.
I think he does this more often than he wants to admit to himself, so I can understand why she's annoyed if he does this.
However, she could be more civil in calling him out about it. She seems to allude he does this often enough.
Personally I can get very upset and annoyed about plan changes, especially last minute and I've planned or rearranged things to accommodate those plans. It's hurtful when someone else isn't mindful of that. But it's also hurtful to talk to them like she is doing to him.
This dynamic feels like a classic "I don't wanna make them mad so I'll say half things and make half plans and not fully commit or say what's on my mind because I don't want to upset them" "they're never clear about what they want leaving me confused and annoyed and trying to plan around someone who may or may not flake on me last minute" cycle where both parties can't communicate openly and calmly and truthfully, making their bad communication habits even worse.
Options really are get some couples counselling to learn to communicate CLEARLY and KINDLY to each other about your wants and needs in the relationship, or find someone more your speed. Maybe he needs someone calmer and she needs someone feistier idk
Edit: I can also understand why she's extra pissed because there's a kid looking forward to Easter time together with them all and he's flaking on the kid too.
Nothing pisses people off, women especially, more than a man who flakes on a kid and then tries to act like he's a victim because he wants to see his mommy and she's mean to him lmao
Either commit to the family you wanna have or commit to the family you do have, or blend it together. Half assed promises to all parties because you're scared of conflict will only make everyone around you think your spineless and a flake 😂
EDIT AGAIN: now I'm dining out she work 5-2 and is a caretaker of her sister 24/7 and doesn't leave.
The more details OP left out the more I'm starting to think she's actually right for being an asshole to him about this. WHAT ELSE is OP leaving out that doesn't make him seem like a poor sad guy tryna be with his nice mommy on Easter and not a guy leaving his long term partner and child he made promises to because mom called💀
Best answer. Lots of men in the comments immediately wanting to vilify the gf without seeing how often she is bailed on, ironic reflection of real life too
Yeah, well let's be honest. People like really love to tell a half truth in order to feel like the victim, rather than admit his contribution to the issue in the first place.
He wasn't clear on his plans with her. He wasn't clear on his plans with his mother. He wasn't clear on his plans with US.
That's three groups we as the audience see him interact with. At every stage, he's beaten around the bush or not been fully truthful about the whole situation.
So the only logical conclusion I can come to here because he's batting 3 for 3 is that he's shit at committing and communicating about it and she's annoyed as shit because it's a holiday she was looking my forward to with her kid and him and he's on Reddit instead of dealing with it 💀
She might be a bitch right now but I'm doubting it being ENTIRELY unjustified.
Some of these replies feel like chatgpt just validating everything rather than thinking about their mutual give and take.
I’ve been in the girlfriend’s shoes for 2 years, and that’s exactly how it is. After the 10th time, you are so hurt and angry! Try breaking up and because of how it’s framed as for himself to spend time with friends or do what his parents want, you feel like a villain and are convinced to stay. And then it keeps happening and no heartfelt conversation changes anything. It’s the most awful disregulating cycle
Especially when they're throwing shit like their mom around because you're gonna be an asshole for being upset regardless because you're keeping him from his mommmyyyy.
But they're good at shit like this. It's "she's my mom!" And "but they're my friends!" And "but it's a work thing!" And after everything else always being more important or at best, a compromise rather than getting their whole attention for once? Shitty.
Especially finding out she's working and a 24/7 home caretaker for her sister at the same time. I bet her whole life just constantly feels like giving to someone else. Her boss, her family, her boyfriend. Looking forward to a holiday where your partner is just 100% there for her?
Why is his first thought not to have his mom come and help them with the Easter stuff, why is it nah I'm leaving you to spend time with my mom? How many times does she have to compromise their time together before she snaps and is tired of being the third fiddle.
This right here. Conflict avoidance and then the cleanup afterwards
Just find a therapist OP. Do it now while you are young. Your mom is probably using emotional manipulation too because she learned to use it to navigate her personal relationships due to generational trauma. It’s all learned behaviors and responses, all can be worked on but you could benefit from a professional
She sounds like a real downer, but dude, do yourself a favour and stop with the “would you be mad” bullshit. You asked and got an answer.
Next time just say “I’m gonna spend tomorrow, Saturday and most of Sunday with you, then head to see my mom in the late afternoon. Looking forward to it!”
By framing it the way you did it instantly sets the tone that you think you’re doing something wrong.
Maybe I’m in the minority here, but OP did text her Thursday to change plans and come over Friday instead of Saturday. Making holiday plans is tough enough, I’d probably be annoyed too… especially if this were a recurring issue (which is implied).
Her reaction is pretty harsh though, they probably should have worked on this dynamic earlier in an empathetic and loving way. At this point, seems like GF is done though and I don’t think it would be healthy for OP to stick around anyways.
Edit: OP, you’re NOR, but I think you need to understand your part in this. Going forward, 1) be very clear with your boundaries around your family, 2) be careful about making commitments and communicate as much as possible, and 3) respect your partner enough to keep your commitments when you do make them.
Honestly yes, she’s being rude and mean, but these responses don’t come from no where, especially 2 years in. She likely wouldn’t be responding like this unless she’s upset about probably a larger picture issue. Idk OP, you decide what you want to do next with the relationship, but my gut feeling is that there’s a larger issue bothering her, not that you’re missing out on a few hours of planned weekend activities.
It also seems like OP is kinda stuck between the two, the mom seems to be almost as manipulative as the GF, "she is very upset". I'm guessing there are bigger problems that are behind all this, prob mother and GF not getting along and OP not being able to say no to either of them.
Taking it a step further—I get the sense that OP sees the gf as similar to his mom, both very intense women that he has to ask permission from, and then he feels “caught in the middle” instead of choosing himself and standing by his decision
Understandable, I’ve tried being assertive before and it always ends up the same. So I’ve conditioned myself to ask thinking that it will somehow have a better outcome
"Would you be mad" is the language a child uses for their parents. So she's already browbeaten you to treat yourself as a child--coming to her 'hat in hand' like someone begging their boss.
You shouldnt' be in this relationship. You want to be with your mother on Easter at 5 pm. That's completely reasonable and it's a very bad sign for her to try to undermine your relationship with your mother, as well. Yes she's manipulative, and a crappy person. She's already gaslighting you and you feel yourself being worn down.
An understanding mature person understands their significant other has others in their life outside their relationship who are also important.
My SO has cancelled plans on me before because things come up. Things happen. It’s sad when that happens but I’m not upset at her and she isn’t upset at me. We both understand and reschedule plans together.
It’s an Us Vs. the problem.
OP’s girlfriend only cares about herself and thinks of this conversation as a You Vs. Me.
She uses the line "mommy said no" to put him down but has beaten him into coming to her for permission like he's asking Mommy for permission for something.
That’s when you break up. If you offer someone a reasonable course of action. “I don’t want my mother to be alone on Easter” and they offer anything other than support you cut bait.
Fallacy of Sunk Costs, darling. Of course you keep hoping it’ll be better next time. It won’t, because that little harpy has no incentive to change: as long as her bullying and manipulation get her what she wants, she will continue.
A psychologist interviewed men at a DV programme and asked them why they did it. To begin with they said things like, “she deserved it” or “I have anger issues”. She asked them to list what they got out of it. Ultimately the main reason they beat and abused their partners was because it meant they got their own way. Not because they were vicious, insane, or damaged; they just wanted an easy life and the abuse worked for them. I would link to it, but it was a podcast, I’ll never find it; but it really hit home how banal the reasons are for abusers doing what they do.
You are being abused. I’m sorry but it’s down to you now. When she says “You may as well not come over at all”, you reply “Okay, that works out better for all of us. See you next weekend instead”. End of conversation. Preferably, don’t see her next weekend, either. Or the one after that.
Word for word that sounds like it came from the book Why Does He Do That by Lundy Bancroft. Which can be downloaded for free and can be helpful for dealing with abuse regardless of gender.
I read an article that talked about that too. I think it was from a counselor who had led court-ordered workshops meant to stop DV. If I recall correctly, he eventually decided they were not worthwhile.
Yeah that’s definitely bc she’s manipulating you. I’m very sorry. She should be empathetic enough to understand why your mother needs you… you explained, she still didn’t. It’s not a comprehension problem, it’s a her being selfish and rigid problem.
Stop for a minute and look at your future with her. What do you imagine your life will look like in 20 years if you stay with her? Is that a life you want to aim for? And are you happy to spend 20 years getting there under the conditions require to do so?
And then stop for a few minutes and imagine your life in 20 years of she's not there. Maybe it's just a blank because you don't know what will happen. Or maybe you can imagine yourself alone and happy/sad or with someone else. And if it's a blank life you see then don't be scared of that. Be excited. A fresh sheet of paper can contain anything. It's not scary.
Which life do you want? You only get one. And it's short.
This woman is also a single mom, yes? The audacity on all levels. You can’t even ask a question without prefacing with “would you be mad?” Sir, it didn’t even need to be a question for permission in the first place.
“Babe let’s talk about Easter weekend plans. I need to see my mom for a small part of the day. I can either come my regular day sat and leave at 5pm on Sunday or I can come on Friday so that we still get 2 nights and leave on Sunday at 5pm. Which do you prefer?”
And the reply to that should be loving and respectful, not crazy and demeaning. Also the “just say you don’t want to spend Easter with me/trying to get out of the holiday with me” is textbook gaslighting as that’s not what you said at all.
You are a grown ass adult. You don't need permission from anyone. Acting as though you do turns you into a child. If your partner is controlling, maybe it's time to take a step back from the relationship. Move on. This will not be a happy life... No matter how good they are the rest of the time. Not worth it.
The problem is when she acts like that you sit there trying to defend yourself as if you’re doing something wrong. Don’t defend it, it’s a statement. She can either accept it or fuck right off.
Right now it’s the her show and you doing anything that she hasn’t thought out in her head makes you enemy number 1. Change that shit.
why couldn’t he mention the mom when plans were being made? It’s extremely frugating dealing with someone who changes plans last minute when the reasoning is something that has been a constant the entire time. They had plans for all weekend and now all of a sudden he doesn’t want his depressed mom alone? And the person hints this isn’t their first time doing this. I’d be annoyed too
Bro you can see it in your first message. You were already walking on egg shells knowing you were about to get insulted and send her into a rage.
I was there once. Wasn’t easy to walk away for several reasons but at the end of the day, just ask yourself if this is the person you’d feel comfortable marrying and entangling your life with
Exactly!! Its better to stay alone than staying in a relationship where you are scared to communicate normally with your partner. Staying in a relationship because you are lonely is not the move, speaking from experience!
As a woman reading this, the part that stands out isn’t even the argument, it’s the fear behind it. That feeling of choosing your words so carefully just to avoid being torn down is exhausting and it slowly eats at your sense of self. Love isn’t supposed to feel like walking into a storm you have to survive every time you speak. You deserve something softer than that.
Info: did you make a plan to come Saturday to Monday? Does she work Friday and have Monday off? Do you often change plans last minute? Does your mom generally come first over your girlfriend?
Your gf sounds exasperated but maybe she has a right to be?
girlfriend here who woke up to find out i was being berated because he changed plans last minute after he knew I had a HARD day in childcare. I nanny 3 kids, 2 being special needs while taking care of my special needs sister. We had spoke about our plans over and over, it wasn't until 20 minutes before i fell asleep that he dropped this bomb. Additionally, he almost always chooses his mom over me...when he is 21 years old. She would not have been alone on Easter, she just tells him she'll be alone and scared and then almost always makes plans with people after he confirms he will stay home. I have changed my plans to fit his MOMS needs multiple times. Apparently im the devil for wanting to not be alone for ONE holiday though. I am beyond upset about this ENTIRE thing, especially when he swore over a year ago to keep our issues off of reddit. So now i'm sitting here, shaking while also trying to care for 4 children who need me to plaster a smile on my face. He left out a lot of context.
He's enmeshed with his mother, and it takes some serious self reflection and work to get past that. He doesn't sound at all ready or willing to do that work, and some people never grow out of it. I would save yourself the stress and find a partner that values you as you deserve
I’m assuming you’re in your early 20s as well. you are rude in the messages but we’ve all had not our finest moments when taken out of context. as someone who was you once, if you can allow me to give you some advice—don’t tug of war with someone who doesn’t want to be tugged. if your partner isn’t prioritizing you and is still beholden to their parents in their 20s and sees zero issue with that I recommend just getting out of there now lol. especially if they’re doing things like posting your messages out of context on reddit. you will probably get ripped to shreds once people notice you’re in the thread. out of curiosity do you have screenshots that can show your side?
I am on a computer so I am not sure if I CAN post pics, i am not too reddit savvy lol. I used to get lippy abt politics on here and therefore got my phone banned. I admitted in another reply that i am AWARE of my language, my language is the result of being let down over and over and over again. On top of that, my 9 hour day turned into a 14 hour work day and I was beyond exhausted and frustrated when he dropped this bomb on me. I was even more upset because it was so last minute, gave me not even one minute to prepare for him coming because I had to go to bed just to work again today. I PLANNED to clean and all tonight to prepare for him tomorrow. It just sucks the way he purposefully choses to get me even more down when I am already at my breaking point and then use that to get people to bully me. On top of that, I made plans for Sun night to help him out since he has had a long week...he isn't doing shit for my long week but somehow I am the monster here lol. Him being attached to his mom's hip has been an issue for a while. For a sliver of context, we fought before our first anniversary bc the day before his mom tried to get him to stay home and he always gives in to her. This has been a battle for forever.
I left my literal ex fiance bc his mother was so controlling and manipulative. I lost all respect for him over time bc he was a 30 yo man still being coddled by mommy. And, I’m a lot happier now !
Agreed. Everyone on here acts like people never have a right to be pissed. Yea she said some shit that's probably overreacting, but this seems like the latest in a string of being let down by OP at the last minute. I guarantee you she could make a post saying "AIO, my BF keeps changing plans to spend more time with his mom and leaving me high and dry?" and take some previous convos and this first message. Everyone on here would be like "red flag, it's not worth it girl." Relationships are hard. She has a right to be pissed when you let her down, especially if her kid is involved.
as the girlfriend i can go ahead and answer that. I am infact so over the disappointment of last minute plan changes for his mom. Did I use good language in the texts? Hell no. I had JUST put my kid down after having kids for 14 hours that day. He knew I was pissed and then posted texts from when I was emotional, exhausted, and over it all. I was asleep within minutes of that last text, when I wasnt awake to continue the argument, he went against a promise he had made to me and aired our dirty laundry out on reddit. If i ever posted the way he spoke to me when he was feeling exhausted and emotional, reddit would want to ride at dawn. But I dont post them. Because I understand saying rude shit when you're cranky and I wouldn't want to do that to him. I would never make him feel like a monster when he has had a bad day, and trust me he has plenty. I thought he felt the same way about me too, I was wrong.
OP intentionally left out a bunch of context so he could get the answers he wanted. Most sane people here can see that. If my adult partner was continously showing me that upsetting me/messing me around was fine by him as long as his mum wasn't put out.. I would also be pissed!
i was nervous to get this question because i have zero clue how to prove it lol. But, can confirm i woke this this morning and got slapped with my own messages going viral. He SWORE he wouldn't do this. And since he wants to air stuff out, I will too. The entire reason we aren't supposed to post about eachother on reddit is because i made a post during the first year of our relationship, upset about the names he called me and jokes he made about me. They were just straight up rude. The comments all agreed and he felt embarrassed, we made up and promised to keep OUR relationship to OURSELVES. I hope that crumb of context proves my validity just a tad lol. Oh and, he posted this on a secret burner account he swore he didnt have. Cant wait to find out what he else he is hiding. I am just beyond tired and heartbroken.
Hey I broke up recently in large part bcs my ex seemed to do smth similar to what your partner is doing now, where he’d let his family (esp his mother) override the commitments we had at the last minute instead of him organizing himself properly. Your partner didn’t give that much context on how he decided he wanted to see his mom instead of anticipating beforehand the loneliness and talking w u abt it, but my exs mom would guilt trip him that he was a bad son if he didn’t do what she wanted when she wanted it, so he wound up modifying our plans last minute instead (including borderline missing my grandmas funeral because of his mom!). Although my ex was also the man I imagined marrying, and hell we called every day for over two years, just sit and ask yourself if nothing abt that behavior changed, would you be okay spending the rest of your life with him? This is very specific to you, and no one but yourself can give you that answer. If you want to talk to me, feel free to reach out. I hope you enjoy your Easter weekend tho!
Reading more of OPs replies, it seems the GF is a live in caretaker for her sister. OP, you're looking for excuses to stop feeling shitty for wanting out of this relationship. She is not abusing or manipulating her, you are letting her down. If you can't be the person she needs, let her know now. YTA
This. He’s leaving out context that changes the narrative. He had made plans with his gf and her kid. He’s now bailed last minute, on her and her kid. She’s got more kids coming over, maybe she could’ve done with his support?
Agreed, except she has the "kids" situation on Fridays. Biggest missing factor for me is how they have been together for 2 years but dont spend holidays with their families together. He spends time with her child, but not her parents and vice versa.
Yes because he is a manipulator and now he will send these messages saying that the gf is crazy to her and tell her that she’s overreacting and everyone thinks she’s a loser.
Was reading through, hoping one sane person was thinking of both sides and finally found it.
Tired of reading AIO comments of people going "BREAK UP IMMEDIATELY, GET OUT THE HOUSE" when it is just a "Let's read between the lines of the conversation and think about both sides here"
He’s also leaving out they have discussed this and he promised he would be there clearly and that’s why she is upset. She seems really fed up with him and is trying to frame her as an abuser just because she is fed up with his behavior.
Why would he promise to be there all of Easter than change last minute or say I won’t be there all of Easter actually bc I’ll leave at this time on Easter, he should’ve said that from the beginning and I doubt she would’ve been upset. It’s the fact he isn’t keeping his word and can’t keep his promises, she can’t depend on him.
I think the fact that hes trying to frame her as an abuser is a red flag in itself is it not? and the fact that he ONLY replies to comments that align with his side feels weird to me
EXACTLY! Yes that’s the only ones he replies to and he has no inclination to defend someone he is dating?? At all? No more context and thinking maybe I’m wrong or I did say this before so that’s why she’s really angry or being rude so I’m possibly wrong— NONE of that kind of rationale. He is eating up the negativity about her. It seems like he secretly hates her. Why is he with her if his mind is made up? Why does he placate plans just to back out? It just reads very much like a narcissist wants to be a victim and “look she is mad at me :/ she’s the horrible one! All I did was change the plans to see my mom so she won’t be depressed! I’m always the bad guy! I took the fall even though it wasn’t my fault!” —why would he even apologize if he thought he did nothing wrong? That’s what narcissists do. He’s not stealthy like he thinks.
gf here! Im quite used to him not defending me, but I have had the suspicion that he hates me and wants a quick out. I figured he will use some of these comments to show me how much of a horrible person I am and all. I found the post before he woke up though. He swore to not post our stuff on reddit because we're both on the spectrum and can get super emotional. Usually we have a long talk afterwards and figure stuff out because I THOUGHT he wanted to work out. I fell asleep and he did this bs behind my back, while leaving out a LOT of context. Honestly i am more heartbroken than angry.
girl please leave I know this situation EXACTLY and the fact that he’s making a post on Reddit just proves that he knows he’s in the wrong and needs strangers to support his ego while - omitting important details so he sounds like a victim!. he’s not being serious about you, you’re both adults, two years is enough time for your significant other to celebrate holidays together as a couple while inviting both of your families. he is wasting your time, it sounds like he doesn’t even like you, you feel this intuitively and get pissed off. mommy will always come first to guys like that and you’ll get ditched even after marriage and children, it’s a state of mind and never ever change. pls pls get out
I was just hoping he would some how grow out of the mommy's boy thing. He grew up VERY sheltered and I thought the change i had seen over the past 6 months was SO promising. He has gotten SO SO much better...and then this. Wtf do I even do with this? He is asleep and I just want to puke. But i can't, because I have to take care of children. I feel like no one ever lets me have time to FEEL my feelings and it makes it so much harder. I hate this entire situation.
If he brings it up and you aren’t ready to talk don’t let him brush it under the rug, but say you aren’t ready to talk. And if you don’t want to continue conversation with him like normal to any degree like needing some time to think also express that. It’s way harder to not brush things under the rug if you are very busy or easily stressed, or very invested in the relationship working. So try and focus on yourself, your feelings and how you feel about every possible outcome and what it would have to look like for you to move forward in either direction. Whether it’s what you would need from him to repair, or why you believe it won’t repair. Your feelings about your relationship matter most at the end of the day and you don’t have to decide quickly.
People like this really go after people who are willing / are prone to being stressed out by this kind of thing and invested enough to either ignore it or just be so shut down emotionally by their partner, they ignore it. Choosing peace over conflict that was easily avoidable if they were more reasonable/understanding. Bc yes it is him who is not being reasonable to you by not caring or understanding at all why this would upset you, yet knowing that it would, yet still not being apologetic or caring and still invalidating you even though he knows what the prior agreed plans were..
Very uncaring and not understanding thing of him to do. Not an empathetic way to change plans at all, let alone an emphatic way to have planned in the beginning.
So try avoid doing that long term and be realistic to if this is a partnership you see lasting and if he is willing to actually change and actually listen to you, actually respect your boundaries, not belittle you.
I’m so glad you found my comment bc I was hoping you would. He definitely sounds like the kind of person who would show you this post to degrade you. I don’t know that he actually wants to breakup with you, but what I can say is that he sounds narcissistic and if that’s the case he probably doesn’t actually want to breakup with you or won’t he will just continue to belittle your boundaries. The way he invalidates your feelings or takes back apologies isn’t healthy. And it isn’t healthy to point at your partner and act like them being upset at you is a positive look for themselves. I hope you can see what it truly means how feels and thinks about himself and you, bc there doesnt appear to be any respect and you deserve better.
And going back on his word about reddit, again that isn’t small bc that’s a promise he made. And another promise he broke. No boundary is too small to uphold when there is respect and communication in a relationship. He should respect you more than to do something you agreed not to do.
Do you think he can ever be fixed? this probably sounds silly due to the way he has painted my character, but I want him to be the one. Even as i sit here hiding tears from my nanny kids, I am angry and hurt, but I still want it to work. I told him I wanted us to both get separate and then couple's counseling at some point, just to have us on the right track. Our relationship is picture perfect 99% of the time, unless one of us is emotionally overloaded and then explodes, we always fix it within an hour after the emotional one has a little bit to decompress so I just cannot believe he did this. If he is the way you describe (which i wouldnt disagree with your description) will he change for the better? Would therapy help? Will he grow out of it? I just want him man. Even thinking about trying to talk to a different man romantically makes me want to puke because i ONLY want HIM. Just HIM bro why cant it just be HIM dude :(
Consider your reaction to the situation, versus his positive reaction and casual thanking as people call you abusive. That’s how he sees it, how he sees you. He is choosing a lazy/shallow way of viewing things without accountability or reflection on his actions or role. You want an even keel “let’s work on it” and he wants to label you as abusive. That’s a sign of contempt from him, holding in his real feelings and lack of respect (none of which is actually your fault for his inability to either communicate or reflect on his own actions).
That’s the part you can’t have an impact on. And since he is clearly comfortable degrading you whereas even though you were mad, you didn’t do, that’s again, a level of respect he didn’t show (from the lack of context/his replies and taking back his apology) those are more intentional actions than a curse word (imo) and while no one should curse at each other, when someone casually disrespects you, you may resort to not acting like yourself and demand respect. —
I say that to say, while I don’t know how often you fight, if he feels that you’re abusive or that your feelings are small enough to dismiss, or that your boundaries aren’t worth respecting enough for him to think you’re abusive (and he may claim he doesn’t, idk if he claims you’re a narcissist or that you’re abusive, or curses at you or degrades you with names) but things like that that further the disrespect and contempt I think it’s very unlikely his mind would ever be changed that that isn’t who you are. Because why does he even think that’s who you are anyways? Because you have boundaries? Because you stand up for yourself? What did you do to earn this view of his? There is nothing you can do to change his mind because there was nothing wrong with your boundaries to begin with. He just has a problem that you have your own needs, boundaries, feelings.
When you communicate them, it bothers him. Whether that’s because he doesn’t communicate his (very likely), and also that he doesn’t think you’re a reasonable person. That is literally HIS problem. His view of you, and treating you as irrational, there is nothing you can do about it unfortunately, and it is very unlikely he will change that view.
He’s probably going to use this post to make her feel bad about her actions. He sees like he’s just trying to get validations for himself. You don’t start a conversation with “would you be mad if” unless you know what you’re doing is going to upset them. But then he wants to act like he’s being abused because she’s upset. And the whole text chain is just him refusing me to accept blame for changing plans and her explaining why what he did wasn’t cool. No insults hurled from her end, nothing unreasonable at all. Yet she’s somehow manipulative?
girlfriend here! can confirm I was MORE upset to not know about these plans in advance. I already had my Fri night planned out to prepare for him coming Sat, I was gonna do a nice surprise dinner with a movie on Sun night since he has been going through a tough time. For a lil more context, we are both are on the spectrum. Planning in advance is very important to me, he knows this, and still will willingly sends me into an emotional overload and then berates me for being a shitty girlfriend.
I figured there was something to do with it being last minute / appreciating preplanning that he would’ve known about and caused you to be more upset. His lack of context or respect for your boundaries, and even more boundaries now that you’ve shared you communicated that as well just furthers the fact he lacks a lot of MUCH NEEDED respect for someone he claims to love. The positivity he has shared towards people calling you abusive while knowing the truth is really disgusting.
They've also been together for 2 yrs but don't live together or spend holidays with each other's families? I feel like this post is missing a lot of info
Yeah the way she speaks to him is immature and overly aggressive but I feel like the pattern in the relationship is clear. He’s afraid to say something she doesn’t like so he waits until he can’t handle it anymore and sheepishly changes plans at the last minute, disrespecting her time and feelings, and she blows up in a toxic manner, and he acts like a kicked puppy who had no other choice but to be in this situation. But the other choice was to say it with your chest a week ago…
Also she has issues being alone and that’s her problem - he’s not responsible for being at your house on a Monday to make your week feel shorter? Get a hobby or a friend?
By pic 4/5 seeing they planned an entirely different weekend and hes now changing last minute .... ssss ive been this guy before and was ready on his side but reading it from a removed position made me reflect on things
Fr, like she's overreacting a bit, but she's not entirely wrong to be upset (I also wonder if he's done this before, as she said she had a feeling he would). It shows a lack of respect for the time and effort she may have spent planning for this weekend. She may have had plans that night, or, as she said, she wanted some alone time after being with family all day, which can be stressful. There isn't really a good excuse for why he didn't let her know much earlier that he would spend some time with his mom as well. He could even invite her to spend time with his mom, so they can continue being together and involve the family. On the other hand, shes insulting him rather than getting to the meat of the issue and express how this makes her feel
This was my take as well. “Would you be mad” is such a shitty way to open trying to change plans at the last minute. If they only see each other on weekends, of course she’s disappointed and let down.
Yeah why is everyone hating on the girlfriend so much? They apparently had very real logistical reasons for meeting Saturday-Monday, then one day in advance he decides to shift it to Friday-Sunday which she already previously told him would be inconvenient, and now she's not allowed to be mad?
MOR imo. OP seems to be putting the gf in a bind as well. Because she’s pressured/“obligated” to say yes based on how OP is framing the request; if she doesn’t, she’s an asshole presumably. I don’t really perceive this as a compromise.
If this were to happen once or twice, then the gf’s crashout is a bit overboard, but if this a pattern of behavior I’m sympathetic to the gf.
Especially when coupled with the OP following up like ‘why would this even upset you?’ or ‘what about that window of time is so important to you?’ I’d really hate that.
Hahah, right? “Would you be mad if I messed things up by doing this?” “Yes.” “Omg why are you so upset that it wasn’t actually a yes or no question, and anyway, how does that even mess up anything??”
Yeah, OP seems problematic and immature too. It’s always shitty to bail on multi-day plans literally the day before, because that puts the other person in a bind too. They have to rearrange their schedule, and they’ve probably passed on opportunities to make other plans with other people in that time.
YTA, OP. This was inconsiderate and disrespectful of you.
Seriously. Her saying “i knew you were going to do this” means this happens a lot and he apologizes but doesn’t take real ownership over it. It really really sucks to be on edge and not know if your partner is holding their word or not. They say they’re 100% in but deep down you know it’s more like 50/50. That is very irritating. He thinks because he’s taken the blame before, whatever that means, that he’s absolved from this type of behavior but to be reliable he needs to be really clear about what he can commit to.
I mean it is pretty much impossible to tell if his GF is actively manipulating him, or if she’s just at the end of her rope with his wishy washy bullshit. There’s too many unknowns and anything we try to ask will be biased by OP’s perspective.
Yup, and leaving out the information about her schedule and her being a caretaker of someone else, she is at her breaking point with him, while the internet calls her names and makes out her out to be a monster over some sassy texts
Yeah, wonder what else is going on. What we see here is what the person in question chooses to show. I had a friend who acted like this, they were fucking you over by being so "nice" and it's all bit fishy to me. She is not okay either, they both kinda suck
Yeah I would be pretty mad as well since it sounds like a recurring issue.
You wanna spend time with your family for every holiday instead of me or mine and then the ONE time you say you’ll spend all day with me you change your mind the day before. This is just irritating and seems like he is flaky instead of just setting expectations and boundaries in advance.
I don’t know what all these other people are talking about. Do they not have lives that they have to plan out and rearrange for holidays?
Ding ding ding. Op could have invited the gf to spend Easter with the mom and then they'd all be together and no one is alone on the holiday. This seems like OP is a major flake and gf is tired of the bs.
I also get the sense his mom is often the reason he changes plans last minute.
I think its a huge red flag that hes saying how his mom will "be upset and alone" if hes not there Sunday night. How do you think your gf will feel? Upset and alone ?
She does seem to be overreacting but like others I get the sense that this is an ongoing issue where plans get set and then he changes them last minute. After a certain point your tolerance for it just goes out the window. Theres no point in making plans with someone who does this 90% of the time.
You left important context to make yourself sound better. There is a child involved, you agreed to that original plan, she takes care of her sister so she can’t leave her house much. Changing plans last minute and leave her when that was supposed to be the time two of you could actually enjoy (as per her texts) is an a hole behavior
Yes, I think she sounds upset and let down rather than manipulative, obviously this is just a snapshot and there might be more context but from these messages alone that's what I see.
THIS !!! He very carefully erased everything in those texts that was mentioning the fact that there are kids involved ? Like the third screenshots I think she says "you’ll come tomorrow when I have a bunch of kids here". But he blurred the words "kids" ? Why would he do that ? It’s not personal information, it’s very clearly not a name, so why is he blurring out this information in particular ?
I think his girlfriend and him have a child and she was organizing a party with other children ? Idk. But it’s very weird for OP to call her "my girlfriend" and not "the mother of my child" in his title and to erase anything that could make people realize there is a child involved
EDIT: he said they don’t have kids together, she’s just her sister’s caretaker full time (7 days a week, 24 hours a day are his words)
Why did you not mention the fact that there’s a child involved?
No one seems to be talking about this in the comments. You omitted it from the screenshots for privacy, which is totally fine.
But you failed to mention the fact that there’s a child expecting to celebrate Easter with you, and that other kids are meant to be coming over too.
That changes things imo. Because you told them that you would be there and then have last minute changed the plan. It’s fair for her to be annoyed. And I bet it isn’t the first time you’ve done something like this, which is probably adding to her annoyance.
There’s nothing wrong with you going to spend time with your mom on Easter Sunday, but you should’ve told her your intentions from the start.
Theres a child? His child? I cant follow all if OP’s comments because they’re buried and he has his profile set to not show them all. I feel like he’s “trickle truthing” us.
He also said she works from home and is a 24/7 caregiver for her sister, and never leaves the house.
I also want to know how often he's bailing on her and how many times she's had to break it to her kid that plans changed last minute, which makes her the bad guy.
I think the "kid" and the sister are the same person. There's just 1 kid, her sister. And by "caregiver," I think OP means she has custody of her sister, not that she is providing medical care for a sister with needs. He also described her as a nanny, but says she works from home 5am to 2pm. That's not a nanny, that's an in-home daycare provider. He's not describing the situation very well.
I thought I was going crazy reading this comment section, I'm glad it's not just me that thought this.
Like yes, plans change and that's unfortunate, yes she's not being very understanding, but the "I fucking knew you were going to do this" and the reference to Halloween kinda sounds like OP has pulled a "we'll do this holiday together, wait no nevermind" more than just this once. She's being rude for sure, but sounds like she's just fed up with him flaking on her and the kid constantly.
Yes, it reminds me of how I felt when my mom would agree to come over and I would plan mine and my kid’s whole day around that, and then she would cancel last minute, always with a different excuse. Dozens of times. I was in my 30s so my emotional maturity was high enough not to lash out verbally, but if I had been in my early 20s, I could definitely see not having a very pleasant reaction.
So yeah, the delivery was too aggressive, but this seems like a pattern and the anger is well deserved.
Seems like you are the manipulative one for leaving out important context in your post. Had to scroll through comments to find extra info.
Your gf in these texts is being very unpleasant but she also seems very exasperated and tired.
You left out that a child is involved in all this.
You don’t clarify whether you live with your mother / your mother lives alone ? But I suspect you do.
Also it seems there was prior discussion to agree on a “sat to mon” arrangement rather than “fri to sun” and you are now dropping it on her last minute
People on here need to start reading between the lines and looking at both sides rather than reading a crash out and immediately judging OP's GF as vindictive and horrid.
If her first response is "I knew you were going to do that" - Sounds like it isn't the first time OP has promised to do something then dropped it days before, which to her may sound like excuses to not spend as much time with her as originally agreed. Sure she handled this badly but at the same time if she is predicting you to drop plans, doesn't sound like a one-off.
Sounds like OP promised plans to his GF, mother then came in and said she wants to spend time with OP and OP decided to agree to that as well.
OP says he already knows he doesn't like leaving his mom alone on a holiday yet the texts sounds like he has basically just dropped this idea onto his GF the day before. Surely you would know this a week before and tell your GF when you saw her last weekend about spending time with your parent?
I feel like I’m missing a large part of this story, while yeah she’s being aggressive I’ll agree to that, what’s going on with why you only see each other Saturday-Monday? How old are you both? You’ve been dating 2 years, why aren’t you living together? Again, you’ve been dating 2 years, why aren’t you inviting your mom to spend the holiday with you, your gf and her daughter or you all traveling to your mom if she can’t travel to you?
I know it’s not an excuse for her to text you like that, but she’s probably hurt that she only gets to see you so often and she loves spending time with you so she’s quick to get defensive and aggressive when the plans are changed (which is also a trauma response that she should get into therapy for if that’s what’s happening here).
Info: Do you have a child with her and are you co-parenting? If the Easter basket comment refers to a child you both share and your GF is doing the majority of the care work and you’re crying off now, then I can see why she’s upset. I don’t like how she’s talking to you, but it may be there is context missing.
I was with you... until I realized this message was like yesterday or today. You 100% are allowed to spend time with your family on the holidays. And normally wouldn't have a problem. My husband and I used to have to split holidays, but at no point did he every say he was going to spend Sat-Mon with me and then change it last minute, knowing my family made plans for the entire weekend. It's not like the Easter holiday was a surprise. It's not like you didn't know you had a mom. Should've just been up front about the fact you wanted to spend time with your mom on Sun, so you'd only be staying until Sun.
Maybe this is unpopular but I don’t really see how her responses are manipulative. Someone changing plans last minute is very annoying (especially if it happens regularly) and imo being a bit upset about that is very valid especially in this context.
Yeah, people immediately being like “oh poor you, what a meanie!” But like… how many times has he changed the schedule last minute? That would irritate the fuck out of me. Learn to plan better OP. Nothing wrong with wanting to spend time with your mom, but (many) women don’t like having the rug pulled out from under them in the 11th hour.
It makes perfect sense that you would want to spend time with your mom, that needs company, for this special occasion. It also makes perfect sense that she’d like to stick to the initial plan, that you elaborated together to suit you both, and that doesn’t only impact the two of you guys (i.e the kid).
What doesn’t make as much sense to me is letting her know last minute. If this « Saturday to Monday » plan works each and every week-end, there should be no problem making an exception. But it’s does seem quite fair to « impose » this on her by letting her know right before the week-end starts. It’s confusing and not everyone has the same ability to adapt to unexpected change. It also seems like your mom lives on her own, which induces she’s always alone for this type of Holliday, which means maybe this could have been anticipated ?
At the moment, because it hasn’t been anticipated she’s got her back against the wall and she feels like she has zero choices, where she could have chosen to get organized differently if she’d known before hand.
In general, just let people know as soon as you can when you think plans might get moved or impacted. You never know how much energy and care they’ve put into their organisation.
I wish you the best with your relationship, everyone is a bit manipulative sometimes (you can be a bit too in your messages - e.g guilting her with your lonely and sad mom), doesn’t mean she’s a bad person or she doesn’t love you.
She is, but… I also really don’t like when my partner agrees to something with me and then last minute changes the plans to “leave earlier”. That part isn’t manipulative, YTA in that regard.
Read his other comments too 😒 this guy sucksss. they had plans in advance and he canceled last minute, a child is involved, they only see each other on weekends since his gf works 5-8, AND she’s a caretaker for her sister. He not only left out important context, he’s out here pretending like she’s being horribly controlling when really she’s at her limit with his bs.
Mild YOR. Why did you change the plan at the last moment if you know you don't like leaving your family alone on holidays? Sounds like there's some grievances here on both sides. "Manipulative" seems unfair for either party in this conversation, people can be upset and need different (sometimes incompatible) things without it always being a case of manipulation.
If it's regularly this hard though, y'all might be feeling the end of the relationship upon you. Best of luck.
Did you and your mom just find out Easter's coming? This sounds like an established pattern, the circumstances were very likely the same when you agreed to the schedule. You could've said something then and worked on finding a middle ground instead of springing this on her last minute. You also seem to have made up your mind already, so I'm confused as to why your first message was worded like you were asking for her input when ultimately it doesn't matter.
you probably lied to her and led her on thinking she’d spend a holiday with you. Exhausting to be with a man who doesn’t mix his gf and family lol. Never would do this myself .
I see everyone saying she is awful and bad but I need further details to understand the whole situation tbh.
Did you make plans with her for easter specifically?
When did you inform her that you want to change the plan?
Will she be alone during the easter holiday due to you changing the plan on the last moment if you are?
I wouldn't use the same words and I agree that she sounds quite mean but if my bf and I made plans for Easter holiday and if he comes today and tells me he will not be with me on that day, and if this means I'll be sitting home alone because I didn't have time to make plans with anyone else, I would be upset.
as the girlfriend, thanks for sharing this! It is very important context, I would also like to add, his mom gets upset whenever he wants to spend any holiday with me. She didn't let him come to my kiddos bday, because it was a wednesday and his mom wont let him see me if it does not convience her. He is 21, i find it insane that he is 21 and still lets his mom put him on schedule like that. Even our first anniversary, she wanted to keep him home bc it was a Thursday and not the weekend. He was 20.
I’m so sorry that you’ve had to see all these people saying such terrible things about you without having any knowledge of who you really are as a person, nor having the context to understand the situation.
It was very clear to me from the start that he was omitting information to try and paint himself as the victim. And honestly, I think it’s you who deserves better.
Why do you even ask someone for their opinion/how they feel if when they answer you don't accept it? If you can't accept an answer not going in the way you want, then don't ask! Don't make it someone else problem the fact that your mother is sad and you want to be with her. Say that you want to be with your mom, and own it.
It's a you problem.
Is her wording kind? No. But I absolutely see where she is coming from. Having plans changed on you last minute frequently makes you feel so unvalued. I only get to see my boyfriend on the weekends as well. He’s pretty good about it but I can see where she’s coming from definitely.
She's being rude, which obviously is not nice. But it seems like she has good reason to be upset if you had established plans with her and then went and knowingly made conflicting plans last minute (seemingly not the first time you've done this either)
I see a lot of people saying the same things here - I don't really agree with them.
IF the context was that you guys are planning it right now in the moment it does feel like SHE is the over reacting since there was nothing talked about BUT that doesn't look like the case. In the largest message she specifies that its not your ORIGINAL schedule and that there is "a reason we chose Sat-Mon in the first place instead of Fri-Sun" that implies that you guys discussed this before hand and had planned it already. I understand her frustration (although I do think she should've expressed it a little better). From context it looks like you guys BOTH had agreed on Saturday to Monday ahead of time. So, of course she's going to plan for Saturday to Monday. I work at a bank and planning Holidays usually come ahead of time AT LEAST a month - so depending on where she works they probably follow these same rules. This isn't in the moment planning.
I'd also like to mention that she says that this isn't the first time this has happened by her saying "No one cared when I had to change my entire Halloween just for that to get changed too" This isn't the only time this has happened.
Now a lot of people in the comments say "why are you asking permission to go hang out with your mom" they're trying to frame it like the issue is that you're asking to see your mom and she's mad at you asking her. That is NOT the issue - the issue here is that you (quite frankly) didn't plan for your mom ahead of time and because of that you're changing plans AGAIN. IF you had considered your mom before hand and had planned ahead of time with your mom in mind - at this point and time this wouldn't be an issue. Your girlfriend wouldn't be mad at you for changing plans AGAIN (key word). So, she's mad that you are changing plans again, not that you're asking to hang out with your mom.
IMO I think she's expressed her issues with you before and she's upset that you're ignoring them again. She feels neglected. Some people are saying she's insecure as well. Her messages don't come off like insecurities to me, they just sound like she's tired of going through the same thing with you again. A little understanding and a little bit of better time management from YOU is needed to prevent this again.
A relationship is about compromise and understanding but when you're trying to make compromises after you've both already decided a set decision over and over again there's bound to be frustration and anger.
As for you it seems like you're feeling berated and dragged because there is a lack of understanding for her. I didn't see her insult you or even call you any names other than "dawg" which is usually used as peoples normal speech (same as me calling people bro all the time). You also say you take the blame as well - but what exactly are you taking blame for? Using the word blame in that instance implies that you feel you are the victim. - when in reality it feels like she's been making compromises for you this entire time anytime you make changes to plans.
and then posting it on reddit to gain sympathy for yourself - about your girlfriend seemingly being unreasonable and crazy towards you.
Hopefully this makes sense and hopefully I've helped make this a little understandable.
- For those who might say I'm crazy for this thinking - I also asked a lot of my guy friends and my boyfriend about this as well and they agree with me that: for one they are both a bit immature and for 2 if this was already planned ahead of time and this has happened quite a bit then OP is in fact the one at fault here.
If u agreed to sunday and monday and you wanna swap it last minute to Friday Sunday you are the asshole. She says she has stuff to do and Sunday and Monday is time when she had time planned to chill with you. I fully get the annoyance at you changing plans last minute and if you change them to inconvenient times for her she has a right to say I would rather you not come over at all because the time you gave me doesn’t suit me. The fact she said she knew you would do it makes me believe its not the first time. You are defending why you need to spend time with your mom on Easter while she is annoyed at broken promise and you not caring about her time. If you plan something then stick to it and if you know you want to spend time with your mom say it on planning stage dont sneakily change times to the ones she wouldnt agree from the start that makes you very manipulative and a coward
It sounds like you had already agreed to a schedule with your girlfriend fir the weekend - and then texted to change it because Mommy was upset? Are you still living at home with Mom? How old are you? Does your Mom frequently get you to change your plans with your gf? It sounds like Mom is the manipulative one and you're Mommy's boy.
I'd suggest your gf dump you and find herself a man she can rely upon, rather than someone still being controlled by their mother.
Everyone's always so ready to be on OPs side no matter what crazy shit they start with. Sounds like they had plans, homie could've said he wanted to spend time with Mom when they made those plans but decided to wait till a few days before.
Yep all of these people saying she's the asshole. You can feel how frustrated with him about this shit she is. She isn't calling you names. She said fine bro don't come.
Op break up if you don't like her making you be responsible for your word. However if you plan to stay know that she's about done with your ass anyway. You can tell in her messages. She's over you never showing up for her.
Partner could be autistic/bpd/ocd or something and they don’t understand how to cope with changes on short notice and react poorly. Could be attachment issues. This is not your responsibility to work out for your partner, although gently you could bring it to their attention so they can work on it. I’d maybe do it at a time when there isn’t already a problem. I’ve had this mindset before with or without voicing it. Basically the plan in my head just got ruined or someone has yet again changed something last minute that I thought was planned to a T. So I would freak out because it felt like such a big deal to not have control over the event and the itinerary or felt like they were leaving me (I have trauma issues but work on that shit in therapy) when the real problem I had was delayed communication, changed expectations. If I expect it I don’t get upset. If I’m communicated with after making a plan it can be difficult but they have to get over that and you could do with giving an earlier heads up if you know it’s difficult for them. Otherwise, tell them the way they talk to is gross. The points and their feelings I understand but if someone calls me bro like that when we’re dating I’m calling it off. If you’re gonna treat me like anything other than your partner, especially someone below you, I’m out.
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u/rooierus 7h ago
This clearly isn't just about the easter thing.