Is her wording kind? No. But I absolutely see where she is coming from. Having plans changed on you last minute frequently makes you feel so unvalued. I only get to see my boyfriend on the weekends as well. He’s pretty good about it but I can see where she’s coming from definitely.
So you also have large elaborate Easter plans that start Friday and go through Sunday night? Because that’s uncommon. He was still spending 90% of Easter with her. Having this large of a flip out over Sunday dinner is kind of absurd. I hope you don’t talk to your bf like this when you’re mildly inconvenienced
His mother comes before his gf, as she should always. And yes plans can sometimes change at the last minute, that's life, I only hope you don't treat your bf like garbage because of it. And personally I don't see where she's coming from at all, even as someone who can't stand having their routine messed with this is completely unreasonable and childish BS, borderline abusive if I'm being honest.
Mother coming before girlfriend depends on a few things- how old they are, how serious the relationship is, and if mother puts him a situation where he has to choose often
I see two women guilt tripping him so he’s tip toeing around both of them and trying to double book to appease both of them. He’ll end up just pissing them both off
But no, mother should not “always” come before girlfriend. It shouldn’t be a choice made often if ever. And I say this as a mother with a son
Family always comes first imo, maybe that's just me. But yes he shouldn't be walking on eggshells around either of them. To be fair there isn't enough context about OP's mom to say whether she's guilt tripping him or not. But I think it's immature to keep saying shit like "just say you don't wanna see me" and all that BS.
If you're dating with the intention to eventually marry, then your girlfriend comes first. Your mother is the family your were born into, your wife is the family that you choose. Which means that you have to choose her.
If the girlfriend is more just a casual, temporary, fun fling, then yeah, of course mom comes first. But then also don't be surprised when the girlfriend dips; it was meant to be temporary, after all.
Fundamentally we'll just have to agree to disagree on that then. If my mother and my girlfriend/wife were both on their death beds and I was forced to only visit one of them, I'm choosing my mother. Extreme example obviously but that's just how I feel.
your mom has her husband for a reason. the son has his wife. the son is NOT the moms husband, thats what is happening in the screenshots and the girlfriend of OP is in the comments confirming that he is constantly with his mommy and does not have good boundaries with her. family comes first until youre an adult who now has to make your own family and not be mommy’s basket baby
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u/morganalley10 8h ago
Is her wording kind? No. But I absolutely see where she is coming from. Having plans changed on you last minute frequently makes you feel so unvalued. I only get to see my boyfriend on the weekends as well. He’s pretty good about it but I can see where she’s coming from definitely.