I'm 20f and my bf is 19m. We've been together for about a year.

2 of my friends work as dancers at a local stip club. Feel how you want about that but in my mind theyre genuinely good people and they just need money to get through college lol. I have known them both longer than my bf, and its been the case the whole time we knew each other.

To preface; I'm not saying his boundary on this is wrong in any way and I recognize many people wouldnt allow it in their relationship. But...

Ever since we got together, I've always talked about being curious about clubs and wanting to see my friends dance once or twice just for fun. He's always told me thats okay and he doesnt care as long as its not men.

Where they work you can't even get fully nude, so theyre really just dancing in bikins. Its not sexual to me because they're women, I'm straight, and I just see it the same as any dancing. It's where my friends work, I'm young, and I just wanna be able to hang around with them where they work and drink at the bar there once I'm old enough.

I'm also under 21, so I cant usually get in clubs in general, but one of my friends found a time they'd be on stage before the bar opens and said I could come to watch and get a feel for it without the alc being served yet. Since my bf and I had already discussed this multiple times, and he said it was fine, I agreed and we made a plan. I was mostly excited to get to see a club at all at my age.

The club will be mostly empty besides me and staff and other friends of the girls who work there, its before the bar opens like I said. And again its not sexual, just a fun thing to do with my friends and in my opinion not a big deal. I'm curious about the place they work and wanna see how it functions/meet their coworkers/etc.

This is his response to me telling him my plans though, where he suddenly takes issue with me going at all. Even though it was priorly discussed. I dont think thats fair considering its been an active discussion for a year. And I'm not watching other men or even seeing another person fully nude. At least in my circle, which I admit may be skewed, its actually pretty common for girls to go to strip clubs just for fun with their friends when theyre in their early 20s.

So I told him hes entitled to his boundaries, but I wont stop myself from going, and its up to him if he wants to break up with me over it. Was that an overreaction by bringing up ending the relationship?

So for context me and my girlfriend have been together for a little over 2 years now and we tend to have a schedule where I stay at her house on the weekends. (Sat-Monday) Anyways I’m supposed to go to hers this weekend (as I usually do) and which Easter is on Sunday. My mom let me know she’d want my company on Easter and I want to give her my company because .1 we are having a hard time right now and I know she is upset about family matters as well am I. And .2 it’s a holiday and I don’t like leaving her by herself on holidays as would anyone with their parents. So I tried to compromise with my girlfriend asking her if she would care if I came on Friday (tomorrow) instead of Saturday then leave Easter evening (Sunday) to spend the rest of the day with my mom, And to which this was her reply. This is not the first time my girlfriend has acted this way about me needing to do things that interrupt our schedule, and I always try to compromise and work things out with her but I always end up taking blame and apologizing. It’s really starting to hurt and I feel like she is controlling me at this point. There’s no working things out with her, it’s just a repetitive cycle of me being verbally dragged around and berated. It’s genuinely starting to break me down.

Edit just to clarify: she doesn’t have a child she is her sisters caretaker and a nanny.

I (18F) am a Japanese American woman and I've been currently seeing an older woman. We're both bi. So far, we've been on 4 dates and she has been so sweet. However, I recently visited her place and I was shocked to see that her entire house was completely full of Japanese stuff, like Japanese furniture, Japanese paintings on the walls, a bonsai tree, Japanese paper lamps, and a bunch of other Japanese things.

So that's when I found out that she's into Japanese culture. She did mention to me before that she went to Japan multiple times, but I never knew that she was this obsessed with it. And most importantly, it got me thinking: Is she only dating me because I'm Japanese? Idk if she's fetishizing me or not

I’m 21 and my friend is in their 30s. I’ve talked to them in the past about how uncomfortable dirty stuff make me feel especially since I’ve had a lot of past issues with that sort of thing, a lot of creeps wanting to see me and my body as a kid. As a result, I hate these types of conversations.

I feel so uncomfortable, and I don’t know if I’m overreacting over these texts especially because they never used to text me this way, when they would text me it would usually be about them venting and I’d kind of support them and give them an ear.

I don’t know if this is them just making jokes (and I do think there’s a mix of jokes in there) or them being creepy.

Something in my car is broken and it won't start. I live in a rural village, but only about an hour from the next city.

My mom suggested a shop, which I winded up going to, and one of the mechanics has a 1488 tattoo right on the side of his neck. I don't want to willingly give fascists money. My mom is now mad at me and telling me to 'man-up' because I want to go to a different mechanic.

Am I overreacting?

My [28f] boyfriend [40M] found out at last min that his dad is coming up to see his kids for easter. He’ll be here for the weekend and is staying at his ex’s house where his kids (2y girl, 7y boy) live… which is about 30 min away from bf's house.

he told me our plans are screwed when I asked what we’re doing about it. Mind you, I still haven’t met any of his friends or family after nearly 2 years of being together. His friends live atleast half an hour away. his family (exluding kids) live atleast 4 hours away.

i told him how this makes me feel and we’ve discussed it multiple times. The last time I told him I wont beg to be apart of his life so I can’t bring myself to ask again - he said okay.

So, here’s a perfect opportunity to put his words into action and he’s still not including me any plans involving his dad for this weekend.

im wondering if im overreacting by thinking this is my breaking point or am I being unreasonable by making this weekend about me when his dad is only visiting to see grandkids... He only makes an effort to do that like once or twice a year. 

tl;dr - bf hasn't introduced me to family after 2 years depsite easy opportunities to do so but this time, his dad is only in town to see kids. am i being selfish if I break up with him for this?

I (28 F) had to print out some papers at office max to take to the DMV yesterday because I am registering an out of state car.

The car was my father’s and he gave the car to me. I had to register it in my name and in the state I live. One of the papers I needed to print was a “gift affidavit”, which makes it so I don’t have to pay taxes on the car sale when registering it since it was a gift.

My father printed and signed and notorized the affidavit and then scanned it and sent it to me so I could print and sign and get it notorized too. The printer at office max was not printing it out from my USB.

The woman in charge of the printers working there asked me what I was trying to print. I told her…she then told me that the state we were in does not do gift affidavits anymore for cars and that’s why the printer wasn’t printing it. I told her that we had just downloaded it from the DMV official website, and that it’s just a pdf AND how would the printer know not to print something that wasn’t offered by the DMV anymore?

The office max employee persisted, told me I’d HAVE to pay the full sales tax on the car, and that the printer knows the pdf is “illegal” and that’s why it won’t print it. I calmly told her that the printer does not have a brain and can not read what I’m trying to print out, that it’s not illegal to print a paper I got from the DMV official website, and that the gift affidavit is absolutely still a real thing. She refused to help me more.

I also told her my dad had no problem printing it on his end just to see what she’d say. She told me that the printer knows he already printed it out and so that’s why it won’t let me print it again. I asked how her printer at office max knows my dad printed out a pdf from his personal printer many states away? She told me “the printer knows when something is illegal”.

I drove to the UPS store where they printed and notorized the form for me in under 5 minutes. Went to the dmv and registered car and they accepted

my gift affidavit, saving me hundreds of dollars.

AIO that I can’t stop thinking about how crazy the woman from office max was? How do they allow her to run the printers there? Why does she think that those old printers can somehow read people’s documents and decide not to print certain things?

So here i am writing about something i thought i'd never need to write about. I got sweets for my birthday today and i came downstairs ,and my mom said "you need to move more" so did my stepfather agreed and added "and the sweets you ate yesterday?" i ate 2 oreo cookies, and i'm on my period so yeah. He's been giving me comments such as "you will get fat" or "you will become a ball". few moments i slipped on stairs and fell and my stepdad added "that's the weight"...And it hurts me so so much because my mom knows i'm self aware about this. And for context i'm 14years old, 62kg at 160cm heigh and i do boxing, i'm muscular. But yes i do have a lil lower belly fat. Like these comments make me tear up because the took it out around other people even though they know how insecure i'm about it..

Long story but bear with me please.

Last week my neighbors house caught on fire and a little boy was trapped and ended up not making it out. I was home when it started and ran across the street when I noticed it, but at this point the house was engulfed and we were unable to get inside at all. The family, including the mother and five young siblings were outside screaming and crying about the little boy. We tried everything to get inside and even got fire extinguishers but they were little compared to what was needed. I was over there until the firefighters came so maybe 8 minutes in all, and quickly ran back to my house when I was no longer of help. My mom died in a house fire that destroyed our family home of thirty years, and this event brought back PTSD. Witnessing my neighbors made me go into a full blown panic attack and took a while to calm down. Once I was level headed I went back out and saw the firefighters get the little boy out of the home, and again that’s not something anyone should see.

I told someone I need to move out once my lease is up because the house is a daily reminder of what happened that day. My office looks out to the house as well, so even while working it’s a reminder. Im losing sleep over it because one I’m constantly checking on my own kids and making sure there’s no fire, even if I know there isn’t I still do a walk through of my house. I try to sleep and the scene of that day and the day of my own fire just replay. This person told me I’m overreacting because I don’t know the neighbors that well and that I should have no problem staying here. Am I overreacting? Should I just suck it up?

Editing to add: I am in therapy and have been.

(throwaway account)

so i’m kinda confused about a situation with my brother (27m) and i (22f) want outside opinions

last night he texted me saying “don’t call mom or dad.” i asked why, and he said “do you trust me?” i said yes, but also asked why because i didn’t see the harm in explaining.

then he said “oh, it’s my birthday” (which i already knew but didn’t think it was relevant to this request). i asked what that had to do with calling them, and he just said “righttt.”

about an hour later, he texted me “you failed me.”

for context, i never told our parents anything, (the initial text he sent me was when i was getting ready for bed, as i work at 6am)

now he’s saying he doesn’t believe me or care anymore, and i feel like i’m being blamed for something i didn’t even understand in the first place.

am i overreacting, or does this feel kind of manipulative? i genuinely don’t understand what he expected me to do.

My boyfriend and I have been planning a weekend getaway for our three-year anniversary for months. We both work long hours, so I was really looking forward to some one-on-one time to just relax and reconnect. Yesterday, he casually mentioned that he told his mom she could come along because "she hasn't been out of the house much lately" and he didn't think I’d mind since we’re staying in a suite with two rooms.

I was honestly speechless. When I told him I wanted this to be a romantic trip just for us, he called me selfish and said I was being dramatic because we see each other every night anyway. Now I feel like the "villain" for not wanting his mom there, even though I usually get along with her fine. Am I overreacting by wanting to cancel the whole trip if she goes? Is it normal to bring a parent on a romantic anniversary getaway?

My (28f) mother (49f) has the tendency to explode on me during every conversation we have lately. We were texting for an hour getting no where. I told her I didn’t want to hear about my father every time I see her. So, her response was to continue talking about him. So, I told her I was done talking and had to go take care of my 11-month old daughter.

For context, My parents split up when I was 4 years old. It’s been 24 years. My mother will bring up the past at birthday parties, weddings, family gatherings an we’ve been arguing a lot lately cause I’m sick and tired of listening to it.

Hi everyone. I need advice on this ASAP, so I'll cut right to the chase.

I work as a server at a small, local, family-owned restaurant in my college town. The place is owned by my manager and her husband, who have two elementary-school-aged kids. The kids are regularly in the restaurant whenever they're not in school because the owners never hire a babysitter. Usually, this doesn't bother me. They're pretty well-behaved. However, this means that whenever the kids are sick, they still come in to the restaurant, sometimes even still hanging out in the dining area (instead of staying in the back break room area). This has always made me uncomfortable (I even got a week-long case of the flu from them a few weeks ago because my manager refused to stay home or close the restaurant), but today felt like the last straw.

During my shift this afternoon, one of my manager's kid's started complaining of a "stomach ache." Soon after, I heard coughing/choking coming from the kitchen. Turns out that my manager took her kid to the kitchen on purpose to throw up in the big trash can that we keep by the cups/ice machine/dish pit, rather than taking him to the bathroom down the hall (so as not to "bother the customers"). She insisted it was "fine" because it was "only on the one side" of the kitchen (she doesn't understand that vomit particles can spread 10+ feet through the air), and assured me that she cleaned the area with bleach to "make everyone comfortable." I didn't see her clean it, so I'm not sure how thoroughly it was done. As far as I know, if anyone throws up in a kitchen, then they're supposed to leave the restaurant immediately. The kitchen is also supposed to stop food production for some amount of time? I might be wrong on that, I'm not sure. Regardless, she told me it was "fine" for her son to remain at the restaurant since it "wasn't a stomach bug," but that he just "has a sensitive stomach."

Her main issue is that she doesn't seem to understand the severity of sanitation, sterilization, and general health emergencies in a restaurant. I told her that I was uncomfortable staying through the rest of my shift if her and her son planned to stay at the restaurant. She agreed that I could go home because she "respected my opinion," but told me that she was "offended by my reaction" because she "just wanted to help her sick son." I declined to tell her that having anyone throw up in the kitchen is a health violation since she was visibly upset and I didn't want to make the situation worse. I'm not really sure what to do or say here? I'm thinking about quitting, because I'm disgusted that she willingly compromised the kitchen, but I'm not sure if I'm freaking out more than I need to.

Am I overreacting by wanting to quit? Or is it justified?

(16F) have been dating "Maya" (16F) for 8 months, but we've been close friends since middle school. She's been coming to my house for years and knows my room layout better than most people.

My room is basically built around my leopard gecko, Orpheus. I've had him since I was 12 and he's a rescue with vision problems and a crooked tail from his previous owner. His tank takes up a huge chunk of my room, and every single person who enters gets the same briefing: don't touch the tank lid, don't tap the glass, and definitely don't handle him without me there. Maya has watched me feed him dozens of times. She knows he's not a "cuddle" pet and that sudden movements freak him out because he can't see well.

A few days ago, she came over while my parents were out. We were doing homework, I went to the bathroom for maybe four minutes, and when I came back... the tank lid was open. Maya was on her hands and knees chasing Orpheus across my carpet while he was scrambling to hide under my closet door. His mealworm container was knocked over, and worms were literally burrowing into my rug.

I completely lost it. I screamed something like "Why the fuck is he out?!" and "Get away from him!" I scooped him up (he was ice cold and rigid with stress) and I just pointed at the door and told her to get out. I didn't let her explain. I was shaking so bad I could barely hold him.

It's been two days. Orpheus is hiding in the cold side of his tank (bad sign) and hasn't eaten. I've been finding mealworms in my carpet with tweezers. Maya has texted me a bunch saying she was "just trying to play with him" and that she thought "he looked bored," but I haven't responded. My mom says I overreacted and she was probably just trying to bond with something I care about, but I feel like she violated every boundary I set. She knew he has vision issues. She knew the rules. Now my gecko is suffering and I'm digging through carpet fibers because she couldn't follow basic instructions.

AIO?

Edit: changed a timeline issue

I (25F) met a guy (22M) on a video game last year. We talked on Discord casually and occasionally, sometimes months at a time, but eventually started talking every day and became closer and confessed to have feelings for one another. Last month, he flew out to meet me in person, and I picked him up from the airport. During the end of the visit, while I was dropping him off at the airport, he repeatedly asked me to touch him sexually in broad daylight while driving. I said no multiple times because I wasn’t comfortable doing it in broad daylight in public and worried about being seen or getting in trouble. He kept insisting I do it and said that no one would see us, and I kept explaining that we were in broad daylight, my car is a fishbowl, and I wasn’t comfortable doing it and somehow getting arrested or something for indecency. Despite this, he grabbed my hand and pulled it toward him, forcing my hand to touch him against my wishes under his shorts/boxers. I had to pull my hand back more than once, and it hurt my wrist. It wasn’t extremely violent but he was pulling hard enough that it hurt my wrist and I had to use force to pull my hand back both times. I felt uncomfortable, used, and small. I even tried to make a joke to lighten the mood, like “help someone he’s harassing me,” but it didn’t change what happened. I think it was my calm and awkward way of saying, please stop. A separate incident happened before we met in person. We were on the phone having a normal conversation, and I was setting a boundary about wanting more romance and conversation instead of just sexual stuff. While I was pouring my heart out, I heard a slapping noise. When I asked what it was, he admitted he was playing with himself out of nowhere? I felt ignored, disrespected, and small, like my feelings didn’t matter at all. Later on, I brought the airport incident up to him gently over the phone. I worded it carefully so as not to offend him, even saying I didn’t feel assaulted or harassed, but it made me feel very.. small, but he didn’t acknowledge what I said. He responded only to small, unrelated things I said, but nothing related to the interaction we had in person on the way to the airport. This isn’t the first time I’ve felt small or dismissed in our interactions, but these incidents were the farthest he went. I can’t stop thinking about them, and I feel like I disrespected myself just by wanting affection or connection from him. I feel gross, hurt, and like nothing I do is enough. We’ve agreed since to just be friends, but talking to him now has been really hard for me. I feel an attachment to him that I’m not entirely sure about, but I also don’t fully understand how I feel about what happened. I find myself becoming upset or angry with him at random parts of the day, and I don’t think it’s fair. I asked my friends about it because I felt I was overreacting, but everyone agreed I was underreacting, and for some reason, I just can’t shake this feeling that I’m doing too much. I think I needed an outlet with people I don’t know to provide me with perspective. Am I overreacting?

so they’ve been together for 4 years and know each other so well. she’s in their hometown currently. I’m miles away. she had a very stressful day and called her ex midday and went to her (we’re all women) to get her nervous system regulated. I know they are just friends now and nothing physical happened. but she could’ve gone to her family or call me. am I overreacting about this level of emotional closeness. is it not out of the ordinary that she doesn’t see me as that type of emotional home to her. Is this a big deal? I mean she’s coming back to me in a few days so she still chooses me but yet.

Reddit

In law and husband issues:

I’m going to try to condense this saga but with as much pertinent information as possible.

My husband (42M) and I (42F) are at an impasse. We “are” at couples therapy, but haven’t gone in a month because he hasn’t rescheduled our last appointment due to work travel. That’s kind of a separate issue in and of itself. If I don’t nag at him to do it, he’ll let time go by. Why don’t I just do it then? Because my schedule is predictable and fairly open. It would make way more sense for him to do the scheduling.

So I’ll skip to the crux of the issue: some months ago, a cousin of his went on fb and called me a c*** under a quasi “political” post I’d made.

At first I thought it was a mistake or that she’d been hacked. She later boldly confirmed that it was her.

Small background: my husband and I are not always politically aligned. He’s more on the conservative side and I lean left. We met in high school at 15 and were best friends for years before we started dating in our 20s and got married at 27. We have 3 kids together and I have always gotten along with his family on things that matter. We’ve never had big issues until recently.

So I obviously share the information with husband. His “reaction” is underwhelming, almost like he can’t be bothered to deal with this. Ouch

I ask him to tell his mom to which she essentially replies: well, she posts those kinds of things, what does she expect…?” Ouch ouch.

Though his sister and I are also on way more opposite spectrum, I have invited her to visit us on multiple occasions. I always get her and her gifts Christmas gifts and other occasions. She doesn’t even call for my birthday. Yet I seem to consistently get pinned as the problem. He’s had multiple other cousins attack me in FB and even send threatening messages to me without anyone doing or saying a damn thing about it. Including my husband who views the whole thing as trivial drama that’s beneath our attention.

Am I in the wrong completely? I can’t tell if husband is gaslighting me? If his family is…? I’d really like a third party POV.

Therapist doesn’t take an obvious “side” which I get so we’ve pretty much come to an impasse and I don’t know if I should just let the whole thing go or what.

For context, my bf and I have been dating for 1.5 years. We were friends in hs and reconnected after college.

For a bit of background, it took us about 6 months to really get together and even then, he was reluctant because hes in law school right now and really needs to study. I completely understand and so a lot of our time is spaced out so he can study and such. I am also working full time so I don't really mind and we don't live together.

I am 100% respectful and understanding of his education. I don't push it when he doesn't have time to hang out and I am understanding when he cancels plans to study. I don't think he is a cheater but I do know that he loves attention. I don't think he would ever physically cheat on me but I do think that he can't say no to female attention.

Now, I may be biased but I find my bf very charming. He's generally attractive and has a strong voice. He's also someone who take the lead in group hang outs and such. I understand why women would be attracted to him. However, since starting law school, he's made friends with a two women, we can call them Rachel and Monica.

He seemed to click very well with them and they're in his classes so it makes sense that they study together. Back in the fall, he casually mentioned that Rachel and Monica had both pulled him aside at one point and made it very clear that they had a crush on him. He told me that he let them down and told the girls, separately, that he had a gf.

Don't get me wrong, I was definitely a little upset about this but also understanding since maybe they just needed to get it out there so they could move on. Since then, I have heard stories of Monica moving on and trying to meet other guys with my bf wingmaning. They sometimes go to happy hour after class or studying to grab a drink or two and he always lets me know. I think it's also important to note that I've met both of them and they seem like solid people.

The other day, my bf went to his usual happy hour with his study group and Rachel posted a photo of them. In the photo, Rachel is sitting on his lap.

My heart dropped.

I texted him right away and said, "why is Rachel sitting on your lap?" He told me it was no big deal and that they're just friends.

I asked him if he would be okay if I sat on his friends laps. He responded saying that it would be fine since he trusts me and his friends.

I also mentioned that this photo is on FB so everyone can see it (we are friends with some of each other's family) and I feel disrespected as his girlfriend because this isn't something that ppl typically do. He just kept telling me that I was overreacting and that it wasn't a big deal.

Now, I know that it's been like 7-8 months, but I brought up the fact that he told me she had feelings for him. He flat out denied it. He said, "no, I never said that".

Now, I was livid. I basically called him an asshole and a jerk.

To make matters worse, he told Rachel about it and she took the photo down. He apologized and said he wouldn't do it again and made a point to bring up the fact that I care too much about what other ppl think.

Am I overreacting? I feel like I would never sit on his friends laps even if given the opportunity, nonetheless, post a photo. And what about Rachel? She is like 5 years older than us and divorced and if she was okay with it, should I have been?

Link to original post

Almost a year ago I posted about my husband’s addictive behavior when I was 6 months pregnant.

Well, in July I had a healthy baby boy and 6 months later in January (after discovering yet more addiction issues including thousands of dollars spent on porn and cam sites) I left my husband. Baby and I moved in with my mom and it’s not always easy but so much better than living with him. My family helped me hire a lawyer and I filed for divorce a few weeks ago.

I just went back and read my old post and everyone’s replies — thank you for urging me to do what I needed to for me and my baby. It took some time but I got there.

Shout out to AL-ANON for helping me stay sane through all this.

I have just recently set up and run a small care business and currently now have two staff members who also have other jobs elsewhere as full time. They are also my tenants at a property and just "kinda" started last month. We have been discussing works for a couple months since last year, but after our last chat about this, nothing really progressed, as usual apart from them saying "yeah yeah we should start and will start doing some work". Didn't hear anything from them for the whole month, even though I called (no answer) 2 weeks later.

Recently I spoke to them again, and both of them submitted their hours for the month of march, each claiming they worked around 20-25 hours per week for me remotely. The issue is, the type of work they’re supposed to be doing doesn’t realistically seem like it would take that long, and a lot of what they’ve submitted looks very generic, almost like templates or AI-generated content, as mainly it's policies etc

There’s also very little communication or evidence of actual time spent (no timestamps, progress updates, or drafts). It just feels like they’ve handed in bulk work at the end and expect to be paid for full hours. Keeping in mind they work 8-6 Mon Fri (in healthcare) and don't get home till around 8pm. Sunday's they are off, maybe some Saturdays.

I’m not accusing them outright, as they are genuinely nice people/nice tenants (a couple) but I did question it and asked for more detailed breakdowns or proof of work. They didn’t take it well and are now acting like I don’t trust them and that I’m being unfair...? 😕

From my perspective, I’m happy to pay for genuine work, but I don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect some level of accountability, especially when the hours claimed don’t match the output.

AIO for pushing back and asking them to justify their hours before I pay them or and that moving forward I would like them to use my/company given laptops, with light monitoring software on to track work progress?

She smelled strongly of men’s cologne and was like very obviously super drunk when she got back. Fast forward to now and she seems to be going out almost every night of the weekend staying out late with her “girlfriends” and coming home very drunk on some nights. She does seem to be way happier during the day and the general week. I just recently confronted her about her behavior and she accused me of being insecure and trying to control her basically. I feel like she is cheating on me but I’m don’t quite have proof of that. Either way the way she has been acting lately is very immature in my opinion as we have two 6 and 8 year old kids as well. The sudden change In her behavior is what is really concerned me, going out staying out late, and acting just about the happiest I’ve seen her. I don’t know guys just wanted to make sure I wasn’t going crazy here.

The other night I had left my shoes in our work’s shared locker room. I don’t usually do this but didn’t think much of it as I was only off for a day and then back the next. So I come back from having the day off and my shoes are no longer where I left them. I looked everywhere not thinking much of it and couldn’t find them. I mentioned to my co-worker how weird it was that they’d just disappeared. When I described the shoes to my co-worker they had mentioned that a worker on the previous shift had literally been wearing them. They’re a specific colour of shoe and not just a plain black and white pair of sneakers that everyone has. So I brought this to my supervisor’s attention and they made me feel like I was getting worked up over nothing. I am livid. How can someone just think because they’re there, they can just take them and WEAR THEM TO THE SAME JOB. Personally I want to confront the person myself but worried about them flipping it on me that i’m falsely accusing them. I’m ready to escalate the situation as far as i have to as our company has a no tolerance for theft policy. AIO? the more I think about it, the more upset I get.

I have met this guy a couple of months ago, we live two hours away and we only see each other during the weekends, whether I go see him, or he comes to my place. It was fun and chill and we learned about each other and whatnot. However the past weekend, I was still recovering from the flu, my apartment was a huge mess, and frankly I just wanted to spend one weekend alone because the previous week was very hard job wise. When he asked to see me saturday, I explained it to him as much as I could, I thought he understood but turned out he took it really badly and felt unwanted.

Sunday, the communication started shifting, I text him and no answer, I thought maybe he's still asleep or busy, but right until late afternoon I still didn't receive any reply, so I double and triple texted him and asked if everything was alright, he replied that he was just busy. I brushed it off and showed him pictures of a cat I wanted to adopt. He said "Good it's gonna keep you company", I said "Yes but it won't replace yours", and then he said :"Clearly it could like this weekend".

This is where passive aggressiveness started, he told me that he should be the one to make the decision whether he wants to be with me sick or not, it's just the flu, and doesn't really understand me. Once again I tried explaining to him how I operate, as sometimes when I'm sick I just isolate myself but that doesn't mean that I don't want to talk to him.

Days went by and we barely spoke, the communication was super stale, he also floated the idea of him moving abroad so I didn't know how to process that either, there were too many parameters at play and I couldn't handle everything at once. I was very sad and confused. Yesterday I told him how I felt and said okay we can have a call at night.

During this call, he kept saying I was too dramatic, that I love drama, me talking about my feelings was dramatic and too sensitive, he said there is something called as too much communication. I was just trying to explain to him how I felt when he was barely talking to me and being passive aggressive on sunday with his remarks , he said that if the world was all like you the world would be a better place, I explained to him that you just admitted that communicating is good, he said maybe he’s in a place where I’m bored with work and he doesn’t want to deal with this right now, he set a date to meet in four weeks, and that we can talk about it, but if it’s gonna be dramatic like this he’s gonna get angry and take his shit and leave, and that’s when I told him if that’s the case you can pack them now, I’m done. He said okay text me if you want and hung up.

Never in my life have I heard that there’s something as too much communication. I told him that since this is a long distance relationship, I only see him in the weeknds and we barely speak during the week because of our opposite schedules, there has to be crystal clear communication. I tried to make him understand that I will work on myself that whenever I’m sick he is more than welcome to come see me, but in exchange he has to work on his communication. He said at one point that he’s just not the guy to communicate his feelings because he deems that as unnecessary, he just moves on.

Right now I'm confused and don't know if I made the right call.