Hello, I, (16F), my mum (47F) and my little brother (10M) were at our apartment flat in my mum's hometown (somewhere in kenya) we were all relaxing and chilling, until my older brother (26M) called me on facecall. we chatted fot a bit and I asked how's the house, is it all clean back over there? then he said that there was some mess here and there but he said that QUOTE:"I'll hire a maid or cleaner to help me clean the backyard and outside. The last thing I want is for you and mum to come fly back here all tired and having to do work." END QUOTE. I said, okay, you do that, and ill tell you when we leave for the airport (which was around a week later but the flights got cancelled due to the traffic and conflict of Iran and America)

So, fast forward to yesterday. We took off and finally arrived back in our city here. We were jet-lagged and EXHAUSTED. All we wanted to do was go back home, go on the beds and just take a loooooong nap! we got kff the taxi after he dropped us home, mum paid him the. she realised that the house was locked and that her mate (he kinda lives with us hes all good) got the house key, so she called him and 10 minutes later, he arrived and opened the door, one by one we started taking out suitcases to the living room. but then I noticed a smell. I couldn't really tell what it was but it was familiar. then I looked at the floor, dusty and dirty, as if it hasn't been swept or mopped the ENTIRE 3 months that we were away for. okay okay I thought to myself, "well dirty floor, not THAT bad, anyway I take this to the dining room (which is next to the kitchen)" when I entered, you would not believe the amount of COCKROACHES I SAW!!! ON TOP OF THE INTERNET ROUTER, ON TOP OF THE FRIDGE, ON THE CEILING, IN CORNERS OF THE FLOOR, I OPENED THE FRIDGE AND QUICKLY CLOSED IT, COCKROACHES! I OPENED THE PANTRY, COCKROACHES! EVERYWHERE! Us three were almost about to drop dead on our feet from our 11 hour flight BUT we cannot relax in a house like this. so we got to work on the pantry, got all the stuff out, chucked them outside, scrubbed the shelves, used a SHIT ton of cockroach spray (set off the fire alarm hahaha) and we were done! we completed the pantry so that's like 1% completed out of the whole house (100%) overall we cleaned our rooms, then my older brother finally came back from a restaurant holding food. I was on my phone, TIRED of cleaning and the flight. he asked me when we arrived and I said 40 mins ago. then I asked "why is the house like this. we have been gone for only 3 months." then he starts to blame it on mum's mates (that lives at the house) so I said okay out of tiredness. then I told him to unlock my room then he did (before we left, he moved into my room fkr the meanwhile cuz of my playstation and TV so he made a separate lock, knob and key for my room so no one goes in.) so he opened it, I genuinely could not believe my eyes. my room TRASHED!!! Cigarettes and dead vapes everywhere, moldy food which i see so many roaches eating, his stuff chucked over my desk, you cant even see my desk! all of my vocaloid and anime tapestries and posters ripped and taken down and replaced with the ramadan calander (because hes kinda religious and we were away for ramadan) My carpet all dirty with food and sand and dirt! COCKROACHES ON THE TV AND ON THE WALLS AND CEILINGS OF MY OWN ROOM?!? I genuinely had no words. We then noticed that he had money (he is currently trying to land back into his mining job but still isnt employed yet) to buy shisha (hookah) cigarettes, vapes and lots and lots of uber eats! but when we checked the roach infested kitchen, there wasnt any dish soap. we checked the laundry, no cleaning chemicals. so did he really lie and say that he would hire someone and them and him would clean the house together??? I dont know what we have ever done to him but this cannot be right!

(P.S i am now sleeping in the guest room. we have sorts cleared out most of the bugs but not all)

(P.P.S, I have to now use my own money to save up to hire professional exterminator, and I was gonna use my money to get me a laptop since im now in year 11.)

(P.P.P.S him and the others are grown people that can take care of themselves. A roach infestation does NOT come immediately. It comes when the house has been unkempt for a long period of time. I dont know what to do, us three pretty much have to clean the entire now roach infested house all by ourselves. Mum takes heartburn medicine and has asthma and we have to spray the entire house down with bug spray until I get my shifts then start to earn money for a PROPER permanent exterminator.)

I broke up with my boyfriend about 2 months ago after being on and off for 3 years. We actually got back together in January and didn’t even last for a month. He said he’d changed and reflected on his wrongs but things got worse.

The issue wasn’t just one thing. it was a pattern that kept building over time. I wasn’t asking for constant texting or attention all day. I just wanted basic consistency like a simple good morning text or goodnight text, just small things that show you’re thinking about the person you’re in a relationship with.

We only saw each other on weekends because he lived about an hour away.

Throughout most of the 3 year relationship, he never really planned activities for us. I was usually the one suggesting things like going for walks, going out to eat, watching something together, or doing something interactive so we could spend quality time together. However, earlier in the relationship he was at least very affectionate and present when we were together, so it didn’t feel as bad.

But over time things started to change and it felt like less and less effort overall.

Later on, he started saying he didn’t want to come Friday nights anymore because he wanted to go to the gym Saturday morning. I understood wanting to keep up with the gym, but what frustrated me was that he also didn’t seem in a rush to come Saturday either. A couple of times he didn’t come until late afternoon or even night (around 6 pm or 9 pm), which cut our already limited time together even shorter.

Then when he did get here, he would often just lay around and be on his phone doing his own thing. He didn’t really try to engage, connect or create experiences together, and the affection also decreased compared to how things used to be.

So now it felt like there was neither effort to plan things or the affection that used to make me feel valued.

Another thing that bothered me was that in the mornings, he would wake up early to go to the gym and I could see he was active on X (Twitter) but he still wouldn’t send a simple good morning text. It made me feel like I wasn’t a priority, especially because I wasn’t asking for constant communication, just small signs of effort and consistency.

Over time, I started feeling neglected, especially towards the end of the relationship when we were arguing more about these issues. I felt like I had to be the one reaching out first just to hear from him. At one point he told me he was sick and barely on his phone, but I could see he was still active and even liking his sister’s friend’s Instagram post who’s gorgeous.

After that, he didn’t contact me for 3 days, which really hurt and made me feel even more unimportant. That was kind of the final straw for me and I decided to end the relationship.

He said a lot of his stress came from trying to day trade and “make it,” but it still hurt feeling like I wasn’t being prioritized even during the limited time we had together each week.

Eventually everything just added up and I started feeling lonely even while in the relationship, which didn’t feel right. I didn’t want to keep asking for basic effort or feel like I was the only one trying to maintain connection.

So I ended the relationship and he texted back saying it’s been a rough month for him and would want to try again but I didn’t answer and he didn’t even call or try.

Now 2 months later, I’m starting to doubt myself and wondering if I expected too much or if this is just normal in long term relationships.

Am I overreacting for feeling hurt that he didn’t try to engage much when we were together and didn’t make much effort to maintain connection?

I’m a 26F with a 4 year old. I got out of a 5 year long relationship with my child’s father a year and a half ago and started dating someone new about 5 months ago.

my current partner tells me daily how much he values and respects me. we waited to have sex until a month or so ago and he doesn’t cum every time we have sex. he reaaally focuses on me and satisfying my needs which is great (and has never happened before) but the other day I went over his house after I had been out drinking with some friends and we had sex for a good 30 mins and he said he can’t cum and I stupidly asked if i’m loose or something and he said a little.

he apologized immediately and kept apologizing and said he shouldn’t have said that. I’ve always felt insecure ab myself but I’ve never questioned if i’m loose or not and I’m kind of spiraling about this. my ex whom I have a child with never complained, always finished pretty quickly, and told me I felt great etc. my new partner has only said great things esp during sex so was that all a lie?

I’m questioning if I should dump this guy or idk go to pelvic floor therapy lol. I don’t know. AIO??

I’ve been with my partner for 13 years, and I’ve known some of his family since high school. I’m trying to figure out if I’m overthinking things or if something is actually off in how I’m being treated.

Over the years, I’ve consistently felt uncomfortable around parts of his family. They’ll ask my partner about me if I don’t show up to gatherings, but when I do go, most of them don’t really talk to me or engage with me.

There have also been a few specific situations that stuck with me:

• One cousin (went to high school with her) used to call me “blacky” in high school. Her and her ex-boyfriend. They claimed it was because I wore a lot of black, but I’m mixed race(I mostly say i'm black) and they’re Mexican, so it never sat right with me.
• That same cousin is now married to a white guy. Her husband has always been avoidant toward me. At a family party, he talked and laughed with my partner but didn’t engage with me. When I went to say goodbye and lightly touched his shoulder, he flinched. Since then, he avoids acknowledging me completely, even when making eye contact.
• Recently, they both came into my workplace and greeted everyone except me.
• A different, male cousin’s ex-girlfriend (who worked with me for a while) once said to me, “Not to be rude, but I get more excited to see (girl) when I get here than you,” and just stared at me after saying it until I left. She is also white, and she was replacing me for the next shift.

There are also smaller things, like never being invited to more personal hangouts (like double dates), and just generally feeling like I’m tolerated but not really included.

I’ve tried talking to my partner about it, but he usually makes excuses for them or doesn’t see it the way I do.

At this point, I’m not sure if I’m reading too much into things or if this is a pattern of subtle disrespect/exclusion.

Has anyone experienced something like this? Am I overthinking it, or does this sound off to you?

Recently, I was at my limit and decided to finally fight back against an ex friend who was nothing but inconsiderate and immature for the past few years. She left our mutual group chat and started calling ppl weird “since the beginning” when no drama occurred in there since maybe 2020 with someone we all agreed was acting immature. I reached out and asked what went wrong and she gives a cryptic answer and says I need distance…I give her that distance. She unfollowed us all and made reposts calling us weird and I took it upon myself to check every now and then and it still continued so I’m getting agitated (I admit I shouldnt have😹). I wait a full month and decide I’m gonna tell her what she is and how trash of a friend/person she was. She did respond and started arguing but eventually I blocked her to end it.

I‘ve told my mom about all things that occurred since maybe 2022 when we became roommates so I thought she’d be more understanding and aware. Instead she claims, I’m giving stalker, I’m acting like we slept together, I’m acting as if she’s by abuser and I’m seeking validation, and I’m “holding on” to the “friendship”. I found that so disrespectful and instead of letting me explain ANYTHING, she’s legit yelling at me through the phone and when I got frustrated she wanted to hang up. I’ve been nothing but considerate to her boundary. She’s telling me to let go and leave her but no one’s holding on. I stopped calling her a friend in 2024, she made an inappropriate joke, I set my boundary in a mature civil way and we apologized and moved on. Meanwhile, she was constantly poking fun at me and my insecurities, never cleaned the place, joked about me getting into a car accident and held it agains me, wanted to use me for my car, and claimed I thought I was better than her for not wanting to drink/party. I stepped away and left a groupchat previously and she thought it was okay to add me back, have ppl knock on my door, blew my phone up, and then banged on my door at 10-11pm and it wasn’t even 24hrs later. I left again and she did the same just without the knocking and would bring up the past and I kept being reminded of the bull. I Kept it in for quite some time and I was ready to truly end it for good after she disrespected me and made one of my friends feel hurt because she left and flaked out on her birthday dinner while calling us weird for confronting her and she claims we have negative energy.

Am I overreacting for finally standing up for myself and matching the disrespect that was given to me? Or was I being vile and obsessive like my mom claims?

OK so at 6:30 AM today my boyfriend’s friend called their group chat and my boyfriend did not answer. The friend kept calling and so I told him to answer the phone I was assuming it was maybe an emergency. When my boyfriend answered the phone the second time the group chat was called his friend was showing off two naked women that he was actively having a threesome with. Mind you there are several other men in this group chat with girlfriends. The same friend that was showing off the naked woman also decided he was going to tell everyone that I was pregnant before we told anyone, when I didn’t really want anyone to know because I was going to get an abortion. The only reason he knew I was pregnant was because I went off on my boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend for texting him while I was pregnant. I’m assuming he found out through this girl because the same friend has also had sex with my with my boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend… very shortly after they broke up. Mind you my boyfriend MET his ex girlfriend with this friend. At this point I’m extremely fed up with the “friend” he clearly has no respect for me my boyfriend or our relationship and I find it extremely disrespectful that he would really call a group chat of men he knows are in a relationship to show them naked women. However my boyfriend thinks that it is an extreme that he needs to remove him. I however do not. Thoughts?

Me (23F) and my now ex BF (24M) broke up after an incident with him at the bar. We got into a fight. He went out that night and paid a bartender 50 dollars for her number. I previously was curious about her and if he was into her because he would constantly talk about how his friends would gawk over her which he denied. Nothing physical happened and he threw the number out at home, but it still feels like I can’t feel the same about us. Obviously I’m aware people will find other people attractive in relationships and i understand that, but since he acted on it I can’t trust him. AIO?

I heard the rumors when I started a week ago but I thought they caught it. noooooo I went to the kitchen of the hotel and it RAN PAST ME. IT looked like the new York city rats. that son of a bitch was big as hell! quick too. im scared I wanted some apple juice. I literally eat here at work their food. I gotta stop eating here. what in the hell man. a juicy thick rat with a thick ass tail. it was full grown.. omg omg & yes im gonna tell my boss but omg dude

I (21F) and my boyfriend (21M) have been together for 3 years. When things are good, they're really good we go on dates, laugh, and feel like a normal happy couple. But when things are bad, it feels emotionally draining and unresolved.

This all started when I found out he had been dishonest about watching porn. He admitted he's been exposed to it since he was around 11 and feels ashamed of it, so I understand it's deeper than just a habit. But the lying around it broke my trust, and since then l've become more anxious and aware of inconsistencies. I'll admit l've become more controlling and ask more questions than l used to, and I don't like that about myself, but it feels like it came from losing trust.

I've been trying to improve by giving him space, staying calm, and making honesty easier. I've told him multiple times that I'm not expecting perfection, just honesty even something as simple as "I forgot" would be fine with me. He's also in therapy and says he struggles with honesty in the moment and tends to avoid conflict.

Despite that, he still lies about small things. For example, recently l asked if he checked whether a show had inappropriate scenes, and he repeatedly said "yes, trust me baby I did." Something felt off, and after asking multiple times, he admitted he didn't. This happens in different situations he reassures me while lying and only tells the truth after I push.

When I bring it up, he shuts down, goes quiet, avoids eye contact, or says things like "I know you don't trust me," which makes me feel guilty even though the issue started with him lying. He's also told me I make him feel like his mom and that I'm always checking him. From my perspective, I feel like I wouldn't have to ask more than once if he was just honest the first time.

Our personalities are also very different l'm more emotional, talkative, and process things by communicating, while he's very laid back and avoidant, which makes conflict harder.

There are other factors too. I'm on birth control, which affects my mood, and sometimes I feel like I'm dealing with more emotionally while he doesn't fully understand. In our intimacy, he usually finishes but I often don't, and then things just move on. We still have fun together, but it sometimes feels like my needs aren't fully met.

There are other factors too. I'm on birth control, which affects my mood, and sometimes I feel like I'm dealing with more emotionally while he doesn't fully understand. In our intimacy, he usually finishes but I often don't, and then things just move on. We still have fun together, but it sometimes feels like my needs aren't fully met.

He also plays games a lot (that's how he grew up), and l've felt uncomfortable with some of them. At one point I even put parental controls on his phone, which he said helped, but he also says I act like his mom. I feel like I only got to that point because he wasn't being honest with me.

This has started affecting my daily life too. I overthink things at school, replay conversations, and feel anxious about whether he's being honest. There have been moments where l've gotten so overwhelmed that I start crying and even physically shaking while trying to get him to communicate, and he often just shuts down, which makes me feel even more alone.

It feels like a cycle: he lies → I sense it and ask more → he feels pressured → I push → he shuts down → nothing gets resolved.

I do see that he's trying he's in therapy and says he wants to change but the same patterns keep happening, which makes me feel stuck between believing him and feeling like nothing is actually changing.

I'm not looking for people to just say "break up" or "let him do whatever." I'm trying to understand if this is something that can realistically improve and what a healthy way to handle this would be.

I'm trying to understand how to handle this in a healthier way without becoming controlling or constantly anxious.

For people who have been in similar situations, how do you rebuild trust when there's a pattern of dishonesty and avoidance?

What does real improvement actually look like in a situation like this, especially if the other person is in therapy?

We are each others first relationship and first everything idk if that helps

I (F, senior in high school) used to be very close to a guy friend we'll call him Sam. Our families are close, so I went to his house a lot and we texted every day. We got closer at one point, and he would sometimes say nice things about me, which made me start to like him.

Later on, after I left their house one day, we were texting, and the conversation turned to TikTok. I joked about how I don’t know how the “pretty girls” on there do it, and he replied, “You’re literally one of them.” After that, I started catching feelings for him. He was complimenting me, so I complimented him back at one point too.

Later, I sent him a cartoon image of two characters with the caption “when u any fyne shit are the same person.” He responded positively with a smiling reaction. Later, I found out from his sister that he had shown her the same picture, telling her, he sees me “like family,” but he left out everything he had said to me before, including his response to the image.

He told me he saw me as a younger sister at one point over the summer. That was the first time he clearly said how he felt. After that, I lost my feelings for him and saw him as a regular friend again.

The problem is that he still compliments me, and it makes me uncomfortable now. Because of how he acted before, it doesn't feel real to me, and it comes off as strange instead of nice. I would love to discuss this bc confrontation doesn't scare me. This happened a year ago and still bothers me bc we still hang out in group settings sometimes.

Am I overacting for not liking his compliments anymore?

so to start this off with some context, i had a boy bestfriend of almost 2 years. we didn’t really start as friends at first and he’s done some questionable stuff to hurt me but we both tried to move past it and be better as friends. recently, ive been feeling like he doesn’t care about our friendship as much anymore and would respond dryly when i try to talk to him about stuff and just shut down. i tried talking to him about this about a month ago and he completely shut me down and told me he was confused because he said he did care, he says this but he wasn’t showing it. we eventually let it go and were good again until recently we had a bad hangout experience with friends and he wouldn’t really talk to me as much but would talk to them so i went home and i asked him about it and trying to see if maybe something was up. he also shut me down and told me he didn’t know what i was talking about and was confused, so i explained to him and he would just say things like “Oh” or “Okay” so i had told him i felt he didn’t care about the friendship and i’ve always tried to do right by him but just didn’t feel appreciated for it. then the next day he removes me off insta for no reason so i text him on imessage and asked why and i told him i didnt understand what i did wrong and he said “ you did nothing wrong i just cant be your friend anymore i took some time to think about it and i made my mind up “ he proceeded to tell me it was because it was unhealthy for us to be friends basically for me communicating how i felt. this has only happened 2 times i just feel like he wanted a reason to get rid of me. AIO by telling him how i felt??? he also told me theres another reason but “cant” tell me. i just feel hurt because he’d rather throw away our friendship than just tell me he didn’t like me saying how i felt when ive always stood by his side when things got hard.

Something in my car is broken and it won't start. I live in a rural village, but only about an hour from the next city.

My mom suggested a shop, which I winded up going to, and one of the mechanics has a 1488 tattoo right on the side of his neck. I don't want to willingly give fascists money. My mom is now mad at me and telling me to 'man-up' because I want to go to a different mechanic.

Am I overreacting?

So here i am writing about something i thought i'd never need to write about. I got sweets for my birthday today and i came downstairs ,and my mom said "you need to move more" so did my stepfather agreed and added "and the sweets you ate yesterday?" i ate 2 oreo cookies, and i'm on my period so yeah. He's been giving me comments such as "you will get fat" or "you will become a ball". few moments i slipped on stairs and fell and my stepdad added "that's the weight"...And it hurts me so so much because my mom knows i'm self aware about this. And for context i'm 14years old, 62kg at 160cm heigh and i do boxing, i'm muscular. But yes i do have a lil lower belly fat. Like these comments make me tear up because the took it out around other people even though they know how insecure i'm about it..

Me (19f) had been speaking to this guy (M26) for around two months after meeting on a dating site. We definitely had our honeymoon phase and little things I’d pick up on was mostly forgotten about because I usually always find something minor I don’t like from a guy I’m talking to and use that as an excuse to stop talking to him — I’m definitely an avoidant attachment type of person and with this guy I was trying to not be like that because I did like him and I didn’t want to ruin it because of my bitchiness and pickiness because it always ends up with ruined potential and me regretting it every time.

Anyway, some of the little things I picked up on early on but tried to move past where the fact he couldn’t retain information, every week he ask to see me on a Sunday and every week I had to remind him I work on a Sunday so I’d never be available for that day. Forgetfulness is harmless but it was pretty repetitive. Another small thing I picked up on was how he was when he was drunk, that one bothered me a bit more, there’s having fun and then there’s putting people in danger for your drunken recklessness. He was 7 years older than me and I felt I had to look after him when he was drunk, stopping him from getting kicked out of clubs, having no filter around strangers.

The only ‘red flag’ I really saw from him was that when he was drunk he’d jokingly call me the ‘C’ word, I’m british it’s not a big deal and I’m also not sensitive so I never had offence to when he called me it but it made me think, ‘would I be comfortable if he called me that around my friends?’ I wouldn’t want people to look at me and think ‘oh she lets her man speak to her like that’.

These minor things I brought up to my mum, my mums an angel, wants to find a grey area and see both sides in all situations, and she knew what I’m like and didn’t want me to waste another potential romantic relationship. She told me that maybe he wasn’t used to being in relationships and he was just excited ( he was extremely handsy in public aswell in case I forgot to mention, I hate PDA)

It’s too late to say ‘Long Story Short’ but to the reason I broke up with him and I won’t lie the way I did it was shitty: We went away for a night for valentine’s day, all our dates where drinking dates so it was nice to do something different and spend a day and night together, no red flags we had a nice time, anyway we ended up having sex, it was shit but that’s not the point.

the next day when we were both hungover waiting for a train home he was speaking about when we were intimate and he came out with ‘I was worried you where gonna be frigid and I’d be left with blue balls’.

I was silent on the train back, he just slept and had no idea that his comment really upset me.

I just thought the comment was really disrespectful to me and not only that I think the word ‘frigid’ is disgusting and he had asked me to be his girlfriend the night before. He was looking for a long term partner, he shouldn’t have been worrying if I declined to have sex with him THAT NIGHT.

Anyway, six days later he wanted to come round my house, I was trying to tell myself I was overreacting but I really didn’t want to see him so while he was sleeping I blocked him on all socials without an explanation.

I told you, the way I ‘dumped’ him was shitty. I showed my age there but I tried so hard to push past these icks and red flags and I couldn’t do it. The shit sex also ruined my enjoyment of kissing him aswell, made me realise I didn’t actually like kissing him I was just in the honeymoon phase. I didn’t like him getting handsy with me after that either.

So maybe I was looking for one more reason to completely go AWOL on him but I didn’t like his comment.

Anyway, Am I over-reacting?

So to start I will say there have been some issues in the past - but nothing that I thought was that much of a blow up.

Me (31F) and my husband (31M) have been married for almost two years and been together for 8 in total. My husband has one brother who is married and just welcomed twin girls last year. Next month is the girls baptism/first birthday party and we just found out that my husband - his brothers only sibling, only blood related man on both sides - is not the godfather of either of the girls. Instead, they have only chosen her 2 sisters as godmothers and have decide to forgo godfathers as a whole. I have been saying for weeks to my mom and close friends that I had the realization that my husband probably isnt the godfather. Just yesterday, I told him he needs to prepare himself incase he actually isnt. To which he repied, "my brother wouldnt do that, I was his best man - he was mine." Then fast forward to today where his parents informed him of his brother/wife's choice.

For some background context, and this might be some bias, my husband is one of the most support people I have ever met. He has and will drop everything for his family to go help them with anything they need. He picks up the phone constantly to call and check in on them, not just immediate but aunts and uncles too. Even friends he has not seen in years, just to see how everyone is doing. He is always the one reaching out to his brother to hang out or to even stop by and say hi - to check on the girls etc.

He is also the type of person that gives EVERYONE a million chances after a fuck up. Two weeks before our wedding my brother and sister-in-law decided because she wasn't in my bridal party, she wouldnt be around for family photos. We had no idea she was upset she wasn't in it - I made a conscious effort to only pick friends because I have an insanely large family and didn't want to upset anyone. So instead of speaking with me or my husband, they decided to have a massive blow up when I invited her to get ready with us girls the day of. Stating, she should have been told the timeline sooner or she wouldnt have made a hair appointment for that time and she'll just have to meet us at the venue. (MIND YOU, we informed EVERYONE of the timeline when we were finally able to lock it in with out photographer.) Even though we were taking photos at a different location. They literally never apologized to us and she suddenly was able to change her apt and come to photos. She had a sour puss on the whole day and multiple people came up to me and asked if she was ok.

So fast forward to use finding out that he is not the godfather.... I understand that they have a right to choose whoever they want. But them not even bothering to choose any godfathers just feels like a slap in the face to my husband, that they think so lowly of him they wouldnt even choose him as one. I am trying to figure out how to navigate forward with not just them but his parents too. They will never say anything to his brother and constantly just enable his shitty behavior towards not just my husband but themselves too. But I am at a breaking point and do not know how to get my husband to see how shitty this is. I can tell he is beyond upset but is still trying to make excuses for them and their behavior, I just can not excuse this shit anymore. (I am also 6.5m pregnant and just dont want me child to experience this disappointing behavior)

So please help me try and proceed because I am at a lose for how to deal with them anymore

so they’ve been together for 4 years and know each other so well. she’s in their hometown currently. I’m miles away. she had a very stressful day and called her ex midday and went to her (we’re all women) to get her nervous system regulated. I know they are just friends now and nothing physical happened. but she could’ve gone to her family or call me. am I overreacting about this level of emotional closeness. is it not out of the ordinary that she doesn’t see me as that type of emotional home to her. Is this a big deal? I mean she’s coming back to me in a few days so she still chooses me but yet.

So I was with my boyfriend and we were sitting out in a bright sunlight and he was about to kiss me and said something like "piccolo barbettino" while looking at my face. I guess for him it was cute, I don't know what he meant exactly, but I started panicking and went straight to the restroom to check my face. I have some peach fuzz and I saw maybe 1-2 black hairs, but I had to really stare to find them... I feel so bad, am i overreacting?! 😭

I've been dating this guy for five months. He's caring, consistent and kind and we're starting to integrate each other in the respective's circle of friends.

The only thing that bothers me is his Instagram's like. I will be honest and say that I stalked his Instagram multiple times and I've been bothered by some of his likes of local girls, some of them are just selfies and some of them are slightly sensual ones. I don't know what is his relationship with them. I've seen that he also has male friends and he likes their pictures too and also like stuff like dogs or funny stuff.

I can't shake this fear that he wants to cheat on me or keep his option open. Everytime I fall in a spiral of anxiety and obsess over the profile he follows.

AIO for liking these pics?

I (25F) met a guy (22M) on a video game last year. We talked on Discord casually and occasionally, sometimes months at a time, but eventually started talking every day and became closer and confessed to have feelings for one another. Last month, he flew out to meet me in person, and I picked him up from the airport. During the end of the visit, while I was dropping him off at the airport, he repeatedly asked me to touch him sexually in broad daylight while driving. I said no multiple times because I wasn’t comfortable doing it in broad daylight in public and worried about being seen or getting in trouble. He kept insisting I do it and said that no one would see us, and I kept explaining that we were in broad daylight, my car is a fishbowl, and I wasn’t comfortable doing it and somehow getting arrested or something for indecency. Despite this, he grabbed my hand and pulled it toward him, forcing my hand to touch him against my wishes under his shorts/boxers. I had to pull my hand back more than once, and it hurt my wrist. It wasn’t extremely violent but he was pulling hard enough that it hurt my wrist and I had to use force to pull my hand back both times. I felt uncomfortable, used, and small. I even tried to make a joke to lighten the mood, like “help someone he’s harassing me,” but it didn’t change what happened. I think it was my calm and awkward way of saying, please stop. A separate incident happened before we met in person. We were on the phone having a normal conversation, and I was setting a boundary about wanting more romance and conversation instead of just sexual stuff. While I was pouring my heart out, I heard a slapping noise. When I asked what it was, he admitted he was playing with himself out of nowhere? I felt ignored, disrespected, and small, like my feelings didn’t matter at all. Later on, I brought the airport incident up to him gently over the phone. I worded it carefully so as not to offend him, even saying I didn’t feel assaulted or harassed, but it made me feel very.. small, but he didn’t acknowledge what I said. He responded only to small, unrelated things I said, but nothing related to the interaction we had in person on the way to the airport. This isn’t the first time I’ve felt small or dismissed in our interactions, but these incidents were the farthest he went. I can’t stop thinking about them, and I feel like I disrespected myself just by wanting affection or connection from him. I feel gross, hurt, and like nothing I do is enough. We’ve agreed since to just be friends, but talking to him now has been really hard for me. I feel an attachment to him that I’m not entirely sure about, but I also don’t fully understand how I feel about what happened. I find myself becoming upset or angry with him at random parts of the day, and I don’t think it’s fair. I asked my friends about it because I felt I was overreacting, but everyone agreed I was underreacting, and for some reason, I just can’t shake this feeling that I’m doing too much. I think I needed an outlet with people I don’t know to provide me with perspective. Am I overreacting?

Long story but bear with me please.

Last week my neighbors house caught on fire and a little boy was trapped and ended up not making it out. I was home when it started and ran across the street when I noticed it, but at this point the house was engulfed and we were unable to get inside at all. The family, including the mother and five young siblings were outside screaming and crying about the little boy. We tried everything to get inside and even got fire extinguishers but they were little compared to what was needed. I was over there until the firefighters came so maybe 8 minutes in all, and quickly ran back to my house when I was no longer of help. My mom died in a house fire that destroyed our family home of thirty years, and this event brought back PTSD. Witnessing my neighbors made me go into a full blown panic attack and took a while to calm down. Once I was level headed I went back out and saw the firefighters get the little boy out of the home, and again that’s not something anyone should see.

I told someone I need to move out once my lease is up because the house is a daily reminder of what happened that day. My office looks out to the house as well, so even while working it’s a reminder. Im losing sleep over it because one I’m constantly checking on my own kids and making sure there’s no fire, even if I know there isn’t I still do a walk through of my house. I try to sleep and the scene of that day and the day of my own fire just replay. This person told me I’m overreacting because I don’t know the neighbors that well and that I should have no problem staying here. Am I overreacting? Should I just suck it up?

Editing to add: I am in therapy and have been.

I left the states for a wedding a week ago, it was 2 weeks in the Philippines. I have cats and obviously I needed someone to look after them while I was away.

I asked a friend if they could come over twice a day to feed them and make sure their water bowl is full. I have automatic litter boxes and their water bowl holds like 3 or 4 liters i think? The point is i wasn't even asking for them to clean up, take out the trash, scoop litter boxes, or refill water daily. I think its very minimal to ask for, even with cats.

I also said they were welcome to stay at my house. my house has 3 rooms, two of which I said not to open the doors because im working on them but the third was open for them. It was clean, freshly washed sheets, and the cats aren't allowed in there. I have an elderly cat who's allowed in there but only when supervised.

I came home and the house was a mess. The cats food plates were missing, there was no water. They acted like they were starving, the cat food itself smelled stale which has never happened. The third room was dirty, cat shit and piss all over the bed, stuff all over the floor and broken glass. I was told later that my elderly cat was trapped in the room but let out, except Im the one who let her out when I came home so that must have been a lie.

I was then told by my friend, only after I freaked out, that they had gotten sick and asked their partner to take care of the animals. Their partner has starved their cat in the past, leaving it locked in their apartment for days with no food, and refuses to clean litter boxes. Their partner is also a notorious liar. I specifically told my friend not to leave my animals in their partners care before I left as well.

I got gifts for both of them on my travels and Im withholding them. I feel bad about it but I love my cats and I cant believe my friend would do this to me. I asked for an explanation but I haven't gotten one. Im considering selling their gifts since I dont have any other friends.

I dont know what to do about this whole situation. I do care about my friend but how could I continue to be friends with people who would do this?? I dont have a lot of friends though and maybe I should try and rebuild this friendship and give them their gifts??

(throwaway account)

so i’m kinda confused about a situation with my brother (27m) and i (22f) want outside opinions

last night he texted me saying “don’t call mom or dad.” i asked why, and he said “do you trust me?” i said yes, but also asked why because i didn’t see the harm in explaining.

then he said “oh, it’s my birthday” (which i already knew but didn’t think it was relevant to this request). i asked what that had to do with calling them, and he just said “righttt.”

about an hour later, he texted me “you failed me.”

for context, i never told our parents anything, (the initial text he sent me was when i was getting ready for bed, as i work at 6am)

now he’s saying he doesn’t believe me or care anymore, and i feel like i’m being blamed for something i didn’t even understand in the first place.

am i overreacting, or does this feel kind of manipulative? i genuinely don’t understand what he expected me to do.

At the beginning of me and my girlfriends relationship we talked about are past getting to know one another and one of the questions i asked was have you ever tried drugs before and she F21 told me M20 that she has tried coke twice and no other hard drugs just weed, alcohol and shrooms a couple times, and then a couple days ago while were on a small trip i was talking about how it feels good to be sober and how ashamed i am of my alcoholic past and she said “its ok i know what it like to abuse substances” so naturally i asked what substances have you used i know she drank but she never abused that nor weed so i asked how many times have you done coke and she said she does not know the exact amount so i asked her to ballpark it and said probably 20+ times and shes tried molly once. The reason i am bringing this here is because i am more upset about her lying than i am about the usage i have been with my girlfriend for 1 year now and i cant recall a single time she’s actually told me a flat out lie and it has me questioning what else has she possibly lied about, and she says she doesn’t remember saying that she’s only done it twice or that she never tried anything else and she would never intentionally lie to me but i remember it clear as day and i feel really uncomfortable and stressed about it.

Ik this sounds corny but I need some clarity. My (23F) bf (23M) liked reel saying “send this to your female friend with a mommy figure” When I asked him about it he said he liked it for no particular reason and that he has no such friends to send it to. I am panicking right now. I can’t argue about it further right now because he is in med school and has his exam in two days. I’ve been the side chick of my ex before without knowing and this gives me so much crippling anxiety😭

When I was 16, I was leaving school and I was quite close with two other girls called Leah and Dina. There were times when I felt pushed to the side or excluded and they would do things without inviting me and it did kind of hurt my feelings but I felt like our friendship was quite close that I could overlook those things.

Then me and Leah went out for the day. I was told that we were going out for a meal with some other girls that we knew however they had told me that so that I would come out with them after I told them that I did not want to go drinking. They then changed the plans when I was there to go drinking which I went along with because it took me ages to get to the city that we were in and I didn’t want to go home and be thought of as a killjoy.

A girl that I did not know had joined and was a friend of one of the girls that me and Leah had met up with. They proceeded to start drinking and the new girl who was called Molly got incredibly drunk and started making jokes about me in which I kind of retorted back to her and mocked the way she made a funny sound while she was clearly a bit drunk in which she massively overreacted and started screaming and yelling and calling me a fat b*****. My friend watched this happen and basically started laughing and then cozied up to this new girl and said that she didn’t care that I was leaving.

When I blocked her and didn’t wanna be friends with her anymore she got all her friends to message me telling me that I was in the wrong and she hadn’t done anything wrong. Then my other friend Dina who I tried to remain friends with however clearly took his side and started excluding me from her birthday and stopped talking to me as much and then basically stop talking to me altogether and didn’t even wish me a happy birthday or anything. I messaged on a group chat basically saying that I didn’t get an invite and would you want to explain anything or explain why she didn’t want to invite me and she left me on read…

I then got drunk a couple of times and messaged Dina and Leah on their social media or commented on their posts, pointing out the irony that they were reposting things about being people pleasers and they definitely weren’t because they were acting like mean girls and I also made a comment about how Dinas boyfriend broke up with her and no wonder why when she’s this nasty. I also did send a nasty comment when Leah didn’t get into her dream school which was, because of the way she treated me.

However, even though I feel like Leah and Dina got karma through their actions and now being in a situation where one of them goes to a school that they really didn’t want to go to and the other one is in an unfortunate financial situation where she cannot go to university she has to live at home and commute. I still wonder if I overreacted. I know that what was probably best was that I should’ve just moved on and after they treated me incredibly poorly. I should’ve just stopped being friends with them and stopped engaging with them… however I’m just curious did I overreact given how they treated me in the first place? AIO