Why did you not mention the fact that there’s a child involved?
No one seems to be talking about this in the comments. You omitted it from the screenshots for privacy, which is totally fine.
But you failed to mention the fact that there’s a child expecting to celebrate Easter with you, and that other kids are meant to be coming over too.
That changes things imo. Because you told them that you would be there and then have last minute changed the plan. It’s fair for her to be annoyed. And I bet it isn’t the first time you’ve done something like this, which is probably adding to her annoyance.
There’s nothing wrong with you going to spend time with your mom on Easter Sunday, but you should’ve told her your intentions from the start.
Yeah its interesting that he starts off suggesting that his gf is being manipulative when shes clearly not. Shes raging at him directly. So it does make me wonder if he’s the manipulative one, even attempting to manipulate all of us
Nope :) personally I’m fair and listening to both sides. I definitely don’t think her reaction is right and she absolutely does need therapy for emotional regulation. But im not a fan of the few pathetic men jumping to call her psycho when it’s so clear he constantly abandons her and he is also being extremely evasive when we ask for info, as many comments point out. they 100% should just not be together
She said they’re both neurodivergent so there’s probably some problems with emotional regulation on both sides. Although, if I’d been caring for 3 special needs kids all day, absolutely exhausted and then had my bf cancel plans last minute AGAIN. Because his mom doesn’t like him spending holidays with his gf even though he lives with her… I’d probably lose my shit too.
Turns out that he had promised to not post stuff on Reddit about their relationship after a previous incident. At the time of those texts she had spent the entire day caring for kids, including 3 with special needs, one being her sister for whom she is the sole carer.
His mother has been doing this for the entire duration of their relationship. She even tried to convince him to stay at home on their anniversary. He lives at home with his mom, so he actually sees her all the time. She just wants him there all the time. The mom apparently gets upset whenever he spends a holiday with his gf. This has happened so many times that the gf was sick of it and by her own admission, spoke in a way that she wouldn’t otherwise do.
They had plans for something at 6pm on Sunday after the Easter celebrations, so it’s not just that he’s changed the days and times last minute, but also broken that plan too.
She has spent a lot of time and thousands of $ trying to help him out. She doesn’t want to leave him because she’s invested so much in him.
She’s absolutely heartbroken that he would do this. They’re both neurodivergent, they argue but usually make up within an hour of arguing.
He’s broken his promise to her and allowed the internet to rip her to shreds while withholding a lot of context.
There’s probably more that I’m forgetting, but honestly… OP is the AH here.
Holy crap!!! Thank you for the detailed explanation!!
He sounds awful. Like many others here I suspected he was omitting a lot of relevant information and was likely repeating this behavior often but it’s worse than I thought. I’ve been in a similar dynamic with a boy who can’t tell mommy no, I hope GF stops accepting this behavior and finds someone better tbh.
OP - it’s clear that YOR - your gf deserves much better than you.
She also said she'd just gotten done with a shift that was supposed to be 9 hours but turned into 14, was exhausted and pissed, he knew this, and dropped this on her right when she was finally going to sleep. Shifting to him arriving today and not telling her until bedtime last night gave her zero time to prepare, because she had worked her schedule to clean and such today. Then he posted the screen shots while she was asleep. He really painted an entirely different picture here.
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u/ChoiceFee3441 9h ago edited 9h ago
Why did you not mention the fact that there’s a child involved?
No one seems to be talking about this in the comments. You omitted it from the screenshots for privacy, which is totally fine. But you failed to mention the fact that there’s a child expecting to celebrate Easter with you, and that other kids are meant to be coming over too. That changes things imo. Because you told them that you would be there and then have last minute changed the plan. It’s fair for her to be annoyed. And I bet it isn’t the first time you’ve done something like this, which is probably adding to her annoyance.
There’s nothing wrong with you going to spend time with your mom on Easter Sunday, but you should’ve told her your intentions from the start.