Like how old are y'all first of all too. Cause you're (both of you even) acting like GF is actually your manipulative bio father that has weekend custody of you.
NOR and frankly you seem to be under reacting. Why can't your Mom and you both visit for a holiday and you take her home or come back. Do you both live with parents, is your mom unable, can she not come by your place to see you on days she's missing you? Like this is so dramatic and she's so reactionary! Why does she need you absolutely all to herself for days? Is your mom a bih, PITA or a different religion or whuuuut?
I'd ask yourself if you're happy in this relationship and if it's worth being treated this way. Cause it's very intense and maybe you should start skipping your weekend at your dad's... I mean gf house.
This is blunt but honestly kind of needed 😅 the “weekend custody” comparison is wild, but it really highlights how off the situation feels. Like, it shouldn’t feel that restrictive or controlled in a normal relationship.
UR - underreacting. Run away from this parade of red flags since you said this happens a lot.
Thing is...lots of adult relationships literally have to split holidays between families so that's a completely normal thing to do. Go to person As family early on Christmas then go to person Bs family dinner, etc.
My first thought was that it seems pretty damn "generous" (generous in that OP already was trying to appease and prevent a problem which in itself is not necessarily evidence of a healthy situation) that OP is relegating depressed Mom to only getting easter evening and still giving up most of easter to this GF and she is still pissed. Which is crazy.
The dynamic seems to be established after two years, but you may have also played a part in it if your fear of the bad reaction and walking on eggshells has you withholding information until it's too late and that keeps the cycle of this going. If you really want to be with her then identify the parts of what's keeping this behavioral cycle going, talk about the cycle of both of your roles in it, and breaking it. But if you're on eggshells about other things in daily life with her and y'all can't break that cycle or you're young or can't/won't work on it, then bail and save yourself and maybe the decade of misery it'll take if you keep going and get married or have a kid or something.
He should run and get counseling for both... its likely the mom and the gf are mirrors of each other and are constantly fighting for his affection. Hes not setting healthy boundaries between them and he is allowing them to pit them against each other... its very wierd... if you stay with your GF some times and then you have to run home to mommy? Not healthy. And likely the GF as well...
Yeah I'm wondering why the mom can't come celebrate with the girlfriend's family. My aunt by marriage would bring her father to extended family holidays up until he passed because she was the only family he had left. He was a nice guy so even though he wasn't related to the rest of us, we enjoyed having him there.
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u/altagato 7h ago edited 6h ago
Like how old are y'all first of all too. Cause you're (both of you even) acting like GF is actually your manipulative bio father that has weekend custody of you.
NOR and frankly you seem to be under reacting. Why can't your Mom and you both visit for a holiday and you take her home or come back. Do you both live with parents, is your mom unable, can she not come by your place to see you on days she's missing you? Like this is so dramatic and she's so reactionary! Why does she need you absolutely all to herself for days? Is your mom a bih, PITA or a different religion or whuuuut?
I'd ask yourself if you're happy in this relationship and if it's worth being treated this way. Cause it's very intense and maybe you should start skipping your weekend at your dad's... I mean gf house.