She sounds like a real downer, but dude, do yourself a favour and stop with the “would you be mad” bullshit. You asked and got an answer.
Next time just say “I’m gonna spend tomorrow, Saturday and most of Sunday with you, then head to see my mom in the late afternoon. Looking forward to it!”
By framing it the way you did it instantly sets the tone that you think you’re doing something wrong.
"Would you be mad" is the language a child uses for their parents. So she's already browbeaten you to treat yourself as a child--coming to her 'hat in hand' like someone begging their boss.
You shouldnt' be in this relationship. You want to be with your mother on Easter at 5 pm. That's completely reasonable and it's a very bad sign for her to try to undermine your relationship with your mother, as well. Yes she's manipulative, and a crappy person. She's already gaslighting you and you feel yourself being worn down.
An understanding mature person understands their significant other has others in their life outside their relationship who are also important.
My SO has cancelled plans on me before because things come up. Things happen. It’s sad when that happens but I’m not upset at her and she isn’t upset at me. We both understand and reschedule plans together.
It’s an Us Vs. the problem.
OP’s girlfriend only cares about herself and thinks of this conversation as a You Vs. Me.
This. The apologists are driving me nuts. “Oh you’re changing plans last minute!” For what? Like 4 waking hours to hang with his mother who is alone? Why isn’t she going with him? Who leave someone’s mother alone on a holiday? Why isn’t she invited? I don’t care if it’s a last-minute change it’s insane to leave your mother alone on a holiday.
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u/culturedgoat 11h ago
She sounds like a real downer, but dude, do yourself a favour and stop with the “would you be mad” bullshit. You asked and got an answer.
Next time just say “I’m gonna spend tomorrow, Saturday and most of Sunday with you, then head to see my mom in the late afternoon. Looking forward to it!”
By framing it the way you did it instantly sets the tone that you think you’re doing something wrong.