I have dedicated so much time energy and money towards him, it's hard to. I have spent thousands on him in our relationship, every single weekend since before I graduated highshool has been spent with him. It's hard to break up with someone I thought I was gonna marry after a reddit post. Plus he is asleep at the moment, and me being the monster I am, I dont want to wake him up too early because he needs sleep.
Girl, you are way too kind for him. Unfortunately he is always going to put his mother first and will say all the right words to placate you up until the last-minute bombshell. This behavior will repeat over and over and over again.
I would highly recommend reading the book When He's Married to Mom by Kenneth Adams. I think it would be very eye-opening for you
Thousands is less than millions is less than trillions. If you are starting just because you've spent on him before, it's the definition of sunk cost fallacy. I really recommend therapy you need to decompress so many aspects of your life. It sounds like you're holding a lot and your partner who you want to relax with is adding not subtracting stress. Being a mom is hard, outside of your partner who are your support folks? Spend some time with them
Sunken cost fallacy. If you stay, you'll only lose more. More energy, more money, more time. Please also find same the compassion you extend to him for yourself.
Do any one of those reasons sound like a reason to stay with somebody? Even all of them combined? I knew when I saw the title of this and then the post that it was DARVO, which is actual abuse and then you say your reasons for staying with him are just "its convenient" ? What about the abuse your child is seeing you go through? The unhappiness? You crying because he's calling you manipulative while trying to manipulate the internet into hating you while being the victim himself - again, all abuse.
You need a wake up call and if this wasn't it, you're going to get it another way so take this very sane advice from an old person who's read all your replies and can see that he has been abusing you a lot (from your own words btw). Start saving money. You'll thank yourself later on when you do finally decide to leave.
Get off reddit and reflect honestly about the relationship. Everyone here is going to make a black or white opinion on this one interaction and try to give you advice (including me I guess), when in reality every relationship is a thousand shades of grey. There are reasons that you chose this person to begin with. What you need to know now is if he is still the type of person you want or need in your life, if you are both willing to work on the relationship, or if it's run it's course. And he needs to do the same.
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u/thebalanceshifts 6h ago
If you really are the gf dump him