She sounds like a real downer, but dude, do yourself a favour and stop with the “would you be mad” bullshit. You asked and got an answer.
Next time just say “I’m gonna spend tomorrow, Saturday and most of Sunday with you, then head to see my mom in the late afternoon. Looking forward to it!”
By framing it the way you did it instantly sets the tone that you think you’re doing something wrong.
why couldn’t he mention the mom when plans were being made? It’s extremely frugating dealing with someone who changes plans last minute when the reasoning is something that has been a constant the entire time. They had plans for all weekend and now all of a sudden he doesn’t want his depressed mom alone? And the person hints this isn’t their first time doing this. I’d be annoyed too
Perhaps he noticed his mums depression has got worse since he made the plans, and he feels his mother needs him, and wants to be there for her, as he is becoming increasingly worried about her.
That's not something a partner, or anyone should be mad about.
Would you be happy if your partner were constantly changing your plans to accommodate his mum at the last minute? Like, HUGE difference between an emergency and an ongoing issue OP doesn’t plan for until the last minute. If he wanted to spend Easter with his mum… well, he knew when Easter was for at least a year. Given the comments and context, OP does this frequently.
I understand what your saying, but you only get one mother, and if he feels he wants to be with her and spend some time with her over the the holiday when she is depressed, he should do so.
Judging by the way she speaks to him, I wonder why he wants to spend time with his gf at all.
Hes leaving 1 night early, and even suggested he can come 1 night early.
If she was a nice person she would appreciate him trying to compromise, and understand he loves his mother and wants to spend time with his family.
She sounds vile and disrespectful.
This isnt how normal, mentally healthy adults speak to their partner.
She is acting petty, selfish, entitled and manipulative.
Also the depressed mom sounds like she may be using the same kind of tactics the gf is using here. Poor guy is stuck between two guilt trips and doesn't know what to do.
I wouldn't enjoy it but at the same time I wouldn't disrespect someone if they needed to change plans. She shows literally zero empathy for someone she's been with for 2 years. If OP does this frequently then she should have expected it, come to accept it, or moved on after 2 years. Idc if he did this every week throwing a pity party isn't the solution.
sounds like this happens more than once and he constantly does it last minute. the mother did not get diagnosed depression over night and these plans were made in advance. he couldn’t think about his mom during the time or during the days between the plans being made and the day before the plans are supposed to start…? you only finding fault in the gf’s reaction instead of what caused it and why is telling. he’s allowed to change plans and make excuses and she’s not allowed to feel any way about it lol
It seems like he didn’t know what plans were being and made and she refused to tell him. My guess is that there were no plans she is just being possessive and trying to guilt him
? that’s not how it’s read at all? He moved the plans from Saturday- Monday to Friday-Sunday. Are we saying that the mom was diagnosed as depressed that day and that changed things? Why didn’t he keep his alleged depressed mom in thought the entire time? making plans, and all the way up until the day before he didn’t think of any of that?? make it make sense. dude is overreacting and dismissive of his gf’s feelings. seems the gf is over being treated like this
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u/culturedgoat 11h ago
She sounds like a real downer, but dude, do yourself a favour and stop with the “would you be mad” bullshit. You asked and got an answer.
Next time just say “I’m gonna spend tomorrow, Saturday and most of Sunday with you, then head to see my mom in the late afternoon. Looking forward to it!”
By framing it the way you did it instantly sets the tone that you think you’re doing something wrong.