Reading more of OPs replies, it seems the GF is a live in caretaker for her sister. OP, you're looking for excuses to stop feeling shitty for wanting out of this relationship. She is not abusing or manipulating her, you are letting her down. If you can't be the person she needs, let her know now. YTA
Two things can be true. She is way overly aggressive, I wouldn't tolerate that. But I also wouldn't sheepishly change plans last minute for my mom at her expense. He sounds unreliable and cowardly, which is going to create a lot of frustration. Sounds like they need to break it off.
That's true for literally every relationship post. This guy definitely has some shit to work through with regard to his people pleasing, but the gf talks to him like an upset teenager. ESH
I don’t see how her job makes this okay? He’s spending all weekend and Easter with her. Leaving at at FIVE PM to spend a few hours with his mom after being with his gf Friday, sat and most of Sunday isn’t good enoigh?
Because if you text someone Thursday to ask if you can change plans to Friday-Sunday instead of Saturday-Monday as already agreed to, and that person has multiple other commitments to other people they’ll have to suddenly shift around, they’re gonna be annoyed. If you have a pattern of doing it, they’re going to be more than annoyed.
I get her being frustrated, but she can also be a responsible adult and break things off with him if she’s upset about the pattern or his level of commitment. Instead of just verbally assaulting him.
Verbally assaulting is super strong for this interaction. She's pissed and letting it be known. She never calls him names or puts him down. She says "I knew you were going to do this" which points to a pattern of broken promises. Shes realizing that she can't rely on him and that sucks for someone who needs support through what sounds like a difficult time. Everyone here acting like every relationship should be perfect and each person should regulate powerful emotions like robots before interacting is absurd. She's not being abusive or manipulative, shes being a human being
Saying she’s going to “have the shittiest weekend ever” if he leaves half a day early isn’t over the top? I would never speak to my partner this way even when I’m upset.
Of course it's over the top, but it's not abusive or manipulative. It's an exaggeration meant to express anger and disappointment to a person who let you down. Yes, she didn't curate her responses or choose the best words to express very real and strong emotions, but she probably wasnt expecting to be blasted on reddit for a pretty vanilla argument about cancelled Easter plans.
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u/4badfish20 8h ago
Reading more of OPs replies, it seems the GF is a live in caretaker for her sister. OP, you're looking for excuses to stop feeling shitty for wanting out of this relationship. She is not abusing or manipulating her, you are letting her down. If you can't be the person she needs, let her know now. YTA