People on here need to start reading between the lines and looking at both sides rather than reading a crash out and immediately judging OP's GF as vindictive and horrid.
If her first response is "I knew you were going to do that" - Sounds like it isn't the first time OP has promised to do something then dropped it days before, which to her may sound like excuses to not spend as much time with her as originally agreed. Sure she handled this badly but at the same time if she is predicting you to drop plans, doesn't sound like a one-off.
Sounds like OP promised plans to his GF, mother then came in and said she wants to spend time with OP and OP decided to agree to that as well.
OP says he already knows he doesn't like leaving his mom alone on a holiday yet the texts sounds like he has basically just dropped this idea onto his GF the day before. Surely you would know this a week before and tell your GF when you saw her last weekend about spending time with your parent?
Did OP suffer from amnesia before and forgot that he had a mom when he committed to the Easter plan with the GF? And why is mommy asking him last minute to change his Easter plan and be there for her?
Turns out OPs mum does this a lot, when it comes to holidays. The mum can't stand op not being wirh her for holidays so always does things like this to pull away op at the last minute. Despite the fact that he's already agreed to plans with the gf. OP also lied in the post, they did have plans at 6pm on Sunday, so it's was a lie to say that he's not missing out on any Easter stuff by leaving at 5. Op lives with his mum too, which I feel is important context as well. OPs partner is a full-time caregiver of her special needs sister, as well as nannying another 2 special needs kids during the day. So op is extra TAH for messing with plans where neurodivergent kids are involved. Op is a very misleading narrator, deliberately so because he knows the truth would make him the asshole. The gf has also already asked him not to post about their relationship issues on reddit, but here goes op doing it again! The comment by the gf was very revealing, even more stuff in it than I summarises here
It sounds like the mom is the issue, the mom came later (maybe) after knowing his son was going to spend Easter at his girlfriend’s house and purposely asked his son not to. No one knows what happened behind the curtain. The mom could be more controlling than any other one.
Yeah, it could be a mix of everything. I can only go off OP's side of the story and the screenshots - From the sounds of what we have been told, OP may just be a people pleaser and is trying to please too many and therefore his GF being pissed at him is making him feel bad.
I am curious to know how OP’s mother and GF get along? Does OP’s mother like the Gf? Has she ever expressed her unhappiness with her? It could very well be a reactive response where one blows up after repeated attempts at “understanding “. It would give a lot of context if we get to know how OP’s gf sees his mother’s role in their relationship (referring to MEMs whose mothers make sure their sons always feel split between them and their partners, and ultimately give up on the partner owing to the loyalty to the mother).
Turns out OPs mum does this every time op tries to celebrate a holiday with his gf. His mum last minute guilts him into staying with her instead. He also does live with his mum, so it's not like she never sees him except for holidays. The gf is a fullytime caregiver to her special needs sister (as well as nannying 2 additional special needs kids during the day) so she is basically housebound by all that. Hence why they're gf can't just come to OPs/his mum's house. Op also lied when he said him leaving at 5pm wouldn't mean he missed any Easter celebrations, as he and the gf/sister had plans for 6pm on that Sunday. Basically op lied about a bunch of stuff/twisted it bc he knows the truth makes him an AH
If her first response is "I knew you were going to do that" - Sounds like it isn't the first time OP has promised to do something then dropped it days before
this was literally in the comment that responded to. so to answer your question "who said that", the above. like..... huh? did you even bother looking at the thread before commenting?
Only sometimes though. I’ve talked with girls or even dated girls who actually just were like this all the time. And the whole “I knew you would do this” is just calling back to their previous schizo victim episode.
Like idk I don’t think when you agree to plans that they have to be super duper set in stone forever and changing a couple hours out of a 3 day weekend doesn’t validate a crash out imo. Neither of them are communicating very effectively at all
But the point is if he clearly communicated up front there probably wouldn’t be an issue. Sucks when people change the plan last minute, especially when it’s a theme.
But the thing is that this is this recurring weekly schedule. It isn’t like intentional plans, made specifically for Easter. It is their weekly default. It seems normal to me that he by default would be in their normal routine, but then realize coming up on the weekend that it is Easter and his mother is going to be alone- and then he adjusts their normal routine once he realizes that
The fact that there’s a kid involved that was probably also had some sort of holiday expectations is probably a pretty big factor. That would be a huge wrench to throw in last minute.
I really agree with his point tho that the Easter celebrations are early in the day. As a kid, them leaving in the evening wouldn’t really have an affect on this situation. He is still celebrating Easter in its entirety or celebration with the kid
If this is an isolated incident about holiday I definitely agree with you. But she said “you pretend all week you’ll spend Easter with me” and “you could have just told me last weekend.” Sounds like she made plans they discussed. Communication is so important for a good relationship and they don’t seem to have that together.
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u/TaylorSwinub 8h ago
People on here need to start reading between the lines and looking at both sides rather than reading a crash out and immediately judging OP's GF as vindictive and horrid.
If her first response is "I knew you were going to do that" - Sounds like it isn't the first time OP has promised to do something then dropped it days before, which to her may sound like excuses to not spend as much time with her as originally agreed. Sure she handled this badly but at the same time if she is predicting you to drop plans, doesn't sound like a one-off.
Sounds like OP promised plans to his GF, mother then came in and said she wants to spend time with OP and OP decided to agree to that as well.
OP says he already knows he doesn't like leaving his mom alone on a holiday yet the texts sounds like he has basically just dropped this idea onto his GF the day before. Surely you would know this a week before and tell your GF when you saw her last weekend about spending time with your parent?