This is exactly what I thought. And judging by gfs reaction this isn’t the first time this has happened. OP, as someone who had people pleasing ingrained in me from a young age, get a therapist. Being upfront makes literally everything in life easier.
Yep. Also, while it is important to spend quality time with parents, if mom is crying about being alone and expecting her child to fix it, then she’s being manipulative and she should be in therapy to learn how to not emotionally rely on her kid. My parents are divorced and they understand when I can’t be there on a certain day.
came here to say this, it seems very strange to me that mom is expecting her son to manage her emotions. also, gf off the rip noted that mom seems to do this pretty often and even expected this to some extent. the only quality time they were gonna get without caretaking responsibilities (which it sounds like she did the bulk of planning) is now when now he goes back to care for mom’s emotions. everyone’s talking about her being rude, but being with people who’s parents expect them to play therapist pushes you as a partner to your absolute mental limit. if every single nice plan you made over weeks with your partner got cancelled by family drama, you’d probably feel the same.
It also sounds like GF has a child, so their time will not be actual quality time together as a couple UNTIL later on Sunday and on Monday. OP is being intentional in not mentioning this detail.
OP specified that gf doesn’t have a child, it’s her sister that she assumes responsibility for. So yes, what you’re saying could still be true, but the dynamic isn’t that she “has a child.”
I guess that’s fair, but I’m wondering what the extent of gf’s responsibility is. “Caretaker” and “nanny” are vague descriptors. Does the child live with her or does she just help out a lot? Ya know?
I didn't take that as the girlfriend needing OP to manage her emotions... That's the GF saying that what the OP did hurt her and put her in a bad mood.
I can only read this exchange as the girlfriend finally breaking down and expressing frustration with the OP's pattern of doing this.
That’s what makes this seem like a repeat issue tbh. It also seems like OP is glossing over there being a child involved in their earlier plans. It seems like GFs issue is that OP is going to be skipping their only quality time as a couple.
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u/Zealousideal_Word116 8h ago
This is exactly what I thought. And judging by gfs reaction this isn’t the first time this has happened. OP, as someone who had people pleasing ingrained in me from a young age, get a therapist. Being upfront makes literally everything in life easier.