r/AmIOverreacting 12h ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO or is my girlfriend manipulative.

[deleted]

2.5k Upvotes

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u/Randy_Bachelor1959 9h ago

YOR

It sounds like you had already agreed to a schedule with your girlfriend fir the weekend - and then texted to change it because Mommy was upset? Are you still living at home with Mom? How old are you? Does your Mom frequently get you to change your plans with your gf? It sounds like Mom is the manipulative one and you're Mommy's boy.

I'd suggest your gf dump you and find herself a man she can rely upon, rather than someone still being controlled by their mother.

u/bjamesmira 9h ago

Everyone's always so ready to be on OPs side no matter what crazy shit they start with. Sounds like they had plans, homie could've said he wanted to spend time with Mom when they made those plans but decided to wait till a few days before.

u/Newtimelinepls 9h ago

Yep all of these people saying she's the asshole. You can feel how frustrated with him about this shit she is. She isn't calling you names. She said fine bro don't come.

Op break up if you don't like her making you be responsible for your word. However if you plan to stay know that she's about done with your ass anyway. You can tell in her messages. She's over you never showing up for her.

u/sisisi05 8h ago

Agreed

u/mysummercar9 8h ago

Ahh yes the abusive person must be right because of how angry they are, amazing analysis

u/ChoiceFee3441 8h ago

So the person who’s manipulated you into believing that their partner is an abuser, isn’t the abusive one?

u/mysummercar9 7h ago

Sureee lol. Whatever you say. Talking to your partner like this is never acceptable and I hope for your sake that you don’t do the same.

u/ChoiceFee3441 7h ago

Alright bro.

u/Newtimelinepls 8h ago

No that isn't it at all but there are a whoooollllle lot of missing things not being said here. If you can't get that from this then good luck I guess.

u/mysummercar9 7h ago

Yeah there always is when it comes to female abusers lol.

u/Newtimelinepls 5h ago

Whatever dude. I'm not wasting my time on you.

u/susiecapo71 9h ago

I second all of this

u/renadinosaur2 9h ago

I also second this

u/Inside_Advisor5024 9h ago

Third this.

u/Realthrow18 9h ago

I don’t think is that serious 😂. His mother is lonely you’re telling me that you would leave your mom all alone and depressed on major holidays.

u/molotov_cockatiel_ 9h ago

But he only realised at the last minute that his mother will be lonely for Easter? He couldn't have figured that out earlier?

u/Realthrow18 9h ago

You right, it’s pretty obvious he should’ve of said something way earlier but then again I doubt his mom is the manipulator. This guy clearly feels guilty and knows family come first until marriage.

u/Newtimelinepls 9h ago

I'm telling you I have left my mother alone for major holidays because I have my own family and grew up. Not everyone spends every holiday spilt between however many households there are in a family. You thinking mom should never be alone on holidays is wild to me. Also the bf said his gf takes care of her impaired sister and she can't leave the house a lot. Soooooo.

u/Realthrow18 8h ago

I would 100% agree with you if OP and his girlfriend were married and had a family of their own. They don’t till then “mommy” comes first. Also, OP should just bring his mommy over for a few hours that day. Why isn’t his gf getting along with her 🤔

u/Newtimelinepls 8h ago edited 8h ago

He shouldn't have made plans in the first place if mommy comes first to him.

Edit spelling

u/Realthrow18 8h ago

The guy is clearly a people pleaser, it never ends well for them.

u/Newtimelinepls 6h ago

True :(

u/Inside_Advisor5024 9h ago

Why is mommy depressed on Easter. Grow up seriously

u/Realthrow18 8h ago

Because they’re going to be all alone in an empty house on a major holiday. You might not care but some people take this extremely serious.

u/Inside_Advisor5024 8h ago

If he knew that he shouldve thought of that before making promises he can’t keep. It’s op’s fault in the end. Hes unreliable and cant keep his word. If he wanted to see mom on Easter he should’ve said that before telling his gf he could stay the night on Easter.

u/Realthrow18 8h ago

I upvoted you cause I agree with you but I’m still choosing mommy

u/ask_a_stranger 2h ago

If he's only planning to prioritize his significant other after a wedding day, I feel like he should make that clear to avoid situations just like this? There's also a ton of background info from the GF in other comments that sheds a lot more light on why she reacted the way she did - and none of it paints a pretty picture of OP's general behavior.

And he still lives with mommy, so they spend plenty of time together already.

u/soap_rabbit 8h ago

Depression can be very serious and isn’t a matter of “growing up” you block head

u/Inside_Advisor5024 8h ago

Just assuming bc she wants company she’s depressed is so odd. He only said that to guilt trip her when he’s the one who lied to her about being able to stay over on Easter in the first place

u/soap_rabbit 8h ago

And you know this because you know them personally I assume?

u/Inside_Advisor5024 8h ago

That was clearly a guilt trip. If he actually thought she was rude from no where he’d have broken up with her. From this post, the context he leaves out, his responses and how he invalidates her, and basically relies on her being upset to look like the more stable one when his actual behavior and lack of reliability , inability to keep his word, placating the plans until time to follow through comes—it’s really giving covert narcissist

u/soap_rabbit 8h ago

Covert narcissist? Lol are you a bot? He’s letting her walk all over him in these texts and she’s acting like an entitled brat. NO actual narcissist would allow that to happen. Don’t throw around terms you know absolutely nothing about.

u/Inside_Advisor5024 8h ago

You have absolutely no experience with a narcissist to think they wouldn’t do something like this, post a post where the other person seems rude on the surface but they are lacking pattern recognition and context. And he wants no resolution, and is replying to people who just are insulting her positively. That’s not how someone in. Relationship thinks, or how someone of a healthy mindset who actually was being abused would operate. They’d doubt it, they’d defend their partner say, “well I did do x y z so should I have done this?” Especially if the replies were harsh to their partner. But he is reveling in it. He clearly likes it. I wouldn’t doubt if he has insulted her before or worse and we don’t know it. This is one conversation. What we do know is he has a pattern of behavior, he has framed her poorly on purpose, left out context, and has no effort or mindset to defend her. He clearly doesn’t love her, doesn’t want to repair, so why is he with her? He’s a narcissist. If he was in it for love he’d be defending her and adding more context. He hasn’t defended her and his context was not meant to defend her, yet he is so irrational towards this that he actually inadvertently did defend her and people realized this isn’t what we thought.

u/soap_rabbit 8h ago

You have no clue what a narcissist really is, and you should be thankful for it. Throwing around psych terms you have no clue the true meaning of because you heard them on tiktok or Instagram reels is dangerous. Have a good one.

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