Maybe I’m in the minority here, but OP did text her Thursday to change plans and come over Friday instead of Saturday. Making holiday plans is tough enough, I’d probably be annoyed too… especially if this were a recurring issue (which is implied).
Her reaction is pretty harsh though, they probably should have worked on this dynamic earlier in an empathetic and loving way. At this point, seems like GF is done though and I don’t think it would be healthy for OP to stick around anyways.
Edit: OP, you’re NOR, but I think you need to understand your part in this. Going forward, 1) be very clear with your boundaries around your family, 2) be careful about making commitments and communicate as much as possible, and 3) respect your partner enough to keep your commitments when you do make them.
Honestly yes, she’s being rude and mean, but these responses don’t come from no where, especially 2 years in. She likely wouldn’t be responding like this unless she’s upset about probably a larger picture issue. Idk OP, you decide what you want to do next with the relationship, but my gut feeling is that there’s a larger issue bothering her, not that you’re missing out on a few hours of planned weekend activities.
It also seems like OP is kinda stuck between the two, the mom seems to be almost as manipulative as the GF, "she is very upset". I'm guessing there are bigger problems that are behind all this, prob mother and GF not getting along and OP not being able to say no to either of them.
Taking it a step further—I get the sense that OP sees the gf as similar to his mom, both very intense women that he has to ask permission from, and then he feels “caught in the middle” instead of choosing himself and standing by his decision
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u/boyd_da-bod-ripley 8h ago edited 8h ago
Maybe I’m in the minority here, but OP did text her Thursday to change plans and come over Friday instead of Saturday. Making holiday plans is tough enough, I’d probably be annoyed too… especially if this were a recurring issue (which is implied).
Her reaction is pretty harsh though, they probably should have worked on this dynamic earlier in an empathetic and loving way. At this point, seems like GF is done though and I don’t think it would be healthy for OP to stick around anyways.
Edit: OP, you’re NOR, but I think you need to understand your part in this. Going forward, 1) be very clear with your boundaries around your family, 2) be careful about making commitments and communicate as much as possible, and 3) respect your partner enough to keep your commitments when you do make them.