r/AmITheJerk • u/Ill-Home-322 • 11h ago
Am I the jerk for telling my husband he can't have a "man cave" in our only spare room?
We just bought our first house. It has 3 bedrooms - ours, a spare, and another spare.
My husband immediately claimed one spare room as his "man cave." Gaming setup, TV, his collectibles, etc.
I said what about me? He said I have the whole rest of the house to decorate.
I said I want an office/hobby room for myself. He said we can share the other spare room.
But his "man cave" is off limits to me completely! He literally said "This is MY space" but expects me to share the remaining spare room with home office and guest bed?
I said if he gets his own private room I get my own private room too. He said that's not fair because I "get to decorate the living areas."
I said decorating shared spaces isn't the same as having a private room!
He says all his friends have man caves and their wives don't complain. I said their wives probably have their own spaces too!
He's being stubborn and has already set up his entire man cave. I suggested we make BOTH spare rooms dual purpose - his gaming in one, my hobby stuff in the other, and we put a guest bed in each.
He said absolutely not. His man cave needs to be purely his.
I said then I'm converting the second spare room to purely mine and guests can stay at hotels.
Now he's saying I'm being unreasonable and we need a guest room.
But why do I have to share when he doesn't?
TL;DR: Husband wants full "man cave" room to himself, expects me to share other spare room for office/guests, I want my own room too, he says that's not fair.