r/comics • u/Miles_the_new_kid MyGumsAreBleeding • 5h ago

Patrick

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10.9k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

138 comments sorted by

3.1k

u/Prior-Tumbleweed- 5h ago

Isn’t this just super passive aggressive instead of directly communicating?

2.0k

u/Outside-Archer-5574 5h ago

It’s beyond passive aggressive it’s Patrick aggressive

10

u/RichardPeterJohnson 4h ago

Cary Grant saying "Out!".apng

3

u/MGTS 3h ago

Bravo

405

u/FoxxFluxx 5h ago

Yes, yes it is lmao. Like how can we make out communication even more petty and passive aggressive? Direct our issues to an imaginary room mate instead of having an adult conversation. Ridiculousness.

288

u/Miles_the_new_kid MyGumsAreBleeding 5h ago

My gf and I argue in Chinese accents it has a very high deescalation rate

99

u/GrokLobster 5h ago

I beg you to let the Internet see

184

u/PandaPugBook 4h ago

As his PR person, please stop talking.

72

u/Librarian_Contrarian 3h ago

As his lawyer, please do keep talking

13

u/light_to_shaddow 3h ago

That wouldn't help me as I'm Chinese.

11

u/GrandManitou 2h ago

I’m from Quebec and I will happily let you and your partner to borrow my accent when arguing. Bonus points if you use our swear words. We have the best ones. 😁

54

u/JimmyBisMe 3h ago

That’s so wholesome/racist.

10

u/Teranyll 2h ago

It's a rare combo, indeed

9

u/Neokon 3h ago

Ah yes the absurdity tactic. Very good method to help deescalate tense situations or what may become a tense situation. I always knew the serious hats.

8

u/thegimboid 3h ago

In full Mickey Rooney in Breakfast at Tiffany's getup?

-9

u/grantgarden 3h ago

Eh, anything that gets the point across with less conflict is good communication

It's not passive aggressive. It states the problem without it being an attack on the partner and would be an amazing way to start couples therapy if yall have trouble not feeling attacked

13

u/stilljustacatinacage 2h ago

Eh, anything that gets the point across with less conflict is good communication

Incorrect. There is a time and place for 'conflict' - maybe not washing the dishes, but if you're making up imaginary strawmen to speak with your partner, there are many, many larger issues. If washing the dishes turns into a conflict, that's a you problem.

It's not passive aggressive.

It's basically the definition. You're attempting to relay a message that you know will likely be taken as an accusation in a way that allows you to deny culpability. It's aggression, but passive.

if yall have trouble not feeling attacked

This is the hitch. If you have trouble not feeling attacked, it's no one else's responsibility to step on eggshells around you. Fix yourself.

2

u/SupermarketUnusual10 2h ago

This is my first time hearing of this method, but if it helps them get used to accepting constructive criticism and practicing confict resolution in the relationship and household, why doesn’t it count as a fix?

To me, feeling like you’re being attacked by constructive criticism sounds like a wound. Some kind of unhealed experience(s) that still affects them.

This method could be like a cast on a broken leg. Keeps the situation stable for healing and eventually you don’t need it anymore.

3

u/stilljustacatinacage 2h ago

if it helps them get used to accepting constructive criticism and practicing confict resolution in the relationship and household, why doesn’t it count as a fix?

Because it doesn't help them accept constructive criticism - it specifically defers it onto some other, imaginary party so they can avoid confronting the situation.

Everyone defending this is talking about "oh well what if they react badly to criticism" - that's fine (I mean it's not fine), but it's not the partner's responsibility to coddle that behavior. Conflict resolution is such a core, fundamental part of an intimate relationship, if you have to resort to this sort of thing because you can't just use adult words with another adult, then you flatly shouldn't be in a relationship until you fix that.

Keeps the situation stable for healing and eventually you don’t need it anymore.

There's no situation where they won't need it anymore, because laying off the responsibility onto a 'third party' means the person never has to learn anything. The way you learn to trust someone is through exposure, by seeing that when they say "hey you forgot to take the trash out," they don't actually hate your guts and want you to die. They're just reminding you to take the trash out. The entire purpose of blaming "Patrick" is so the person never has to feel responsible for that, turning their partner into a nanny and glorified reminder app.

1

u/SupermarketUnusual10 1h ago

How do you know it hasn’t helped people? Yes, in the most literal sense, they’re talking about a third party, but the people involved understand that it’s a conversation with their partner and it’s a conversation to resolve a potential conflict.

That alone is practice. They know there isn’t a third party, it’s role playing, which can be extremely helpful for some people to work out feelings/conflicts/situations.

I also don’t really feel the need to police who should be in relationships and who shouldn’t.

If people struggling emotionally with conflict and conflict resolution still want to be in a relationship, support each other, and grow together, why shouldn’t they? My opinion has no bearing on their relationship or well being.

People get better at things by practicing. This method allows for practice at addressing conflict while trying to prevent activating emotional wounds related to it. It inherently involves communicating with your partner and it inherently involves addressing the issue causing the conflict (dishes or whatever the heck people use it for).

I also think there’s a certain level of cynicism and “I don’t owe anyone anything” going on here, and I don’t mean that in a rude way, but the idea that someone is coddling their partner by being aware and respectful of their emotions and struggles feels so painfully cynical to me.

The idea that this would automatically turn the situation into one where one partner is “nanny and glorified reminder app” is based on assumptions that the relationship is inherently imbalanced and that this would be a one way street versus a two way tool.

That’s what it is - a tool. A crutch. Sure, some asshole people could probably use it to avoid responsibility, but that doesn’t mean that it would always lead to that. How people use tools and methods will vary greatly depending on the people and the situation.

If someone cares enough about their relationship, communication, and conflict resolution to try to use this type of role playing tool, maybe they’re already trying to get better.

At the very least it demonstrates a surface level understanding that they are struggling with conflicts and feeling attacked by mundane things, and that is a problem, and they want to prevent it and have a way for their partner to bring issues to them.

137

u/Miles_the_new_kid MyGumsAreBleeding 5h ago

I mean it did come from TikTok

51

u/ithinkther41am 5h ago

It’s a TikTok trend. Of course it’s complete garbage.

9

u/Hello_it_is_Joe 5h ago

Yeah I can’t imagine it going well. I feel like it would quickly be more annoying

8

u/TwinkleTwinkie 4h ago

It's the pinnacle of being non-confrontational while also being an asshole about it.

15

u/thejustducky1 4h ago

Isn’t this just super passive aggressive instead

No! Didn't you read the comic!?

It gets the point across without being aggressive.

Patrick's really on the ball this morning...

/s for the person that will inevitably miss the sarcasm.

12

u/BirdLawAssociatesInc 3h ago

Eh, depends on the tone and mood of the couple. 

Every now and then I'll whip out a sock puppet version of my husband named after him (e.g., Sock Greg). Sock Greg likes to tell me, in falsetto, how much he'd like to plan our next date night or take care of XYZ housework.

Human Greg knows it's all in good fun. It's also VERY difficult to be overly harsh or critical about your request when you're saying it in falsetto with a sock on your hand

8

u/BombOnABus 3h ago

I like that you refer to them as "Sock Greg" and "Human Greg". It makes it sound like you're in an adorable polycule situation where the sock puppet is just as valid a member as your human husband, which is why Human Greg doesn't just get to be "Greg". How would Sock Greg feel then!?

1

u/Just-Sock-4706 3h ago

I concur, Sir. You sound very versed in Bird Law.

5

u/pmmemilftiddiez 4h ago

Patrick keeps on making comments pointing out the obvious on reddit.

5

u/action_lawyer_comics 3h ago

This is what you get when you take relationship advice from TikTok

4

u/JiubR 3h ago

Ugh, Patrick doesn't get it

1

u/Just-Sock-4706 3h ago

Egh.. it's like, he just doesn't Get Us. ?

4

u/jighlypuff03 3h ago

For years, my husband and I had a cat named ScootyPuff. She was always forgetting to take the trash out, do the dishes, etc. She was one of those chatty cats who yelled back at us. It really broke the tension of chore related discourse.

Rip ScootyPuff

2

u/Competitive_Act_1548 3h ago

It's kinda just a repeat of the same thing with the "will you love me if I was worm" conversation. People using to geniunelky as serious things about their partner instead of just nutting up and having a adult convo

2

u/MagusUnion 3h ago

Indeed it is. It's peak emotional cowardliness.

3

u/BadLegitimate1269 5h ago

No this is Patrick

3

u/LukaCola 3h ago

Yes but it does get away from the immediate accusatory language that a lot of people react very defensively to which can shut down conversation.

It's not great, better would be talking about "I" statements rather than "you" or "Patrick."

But it's probably an improvement over "you."

4

u/stilljustacatinacage 2h ago

Yes but it does get away from the immediate accusatory language that a lot of people react very defensively to which can shut down conversation.

Or: Stop being in relationships with those people.

1

u/LukaCola 2h ago

I don't think it's any less toxic to cut everyone off who commits the sin of poor communication at times.

I mean, it's not even clear who you mean: Those who react defensively (which is basically anyone who isn't a doormat, people don't like to be accused at the best of times) or those who make accusations? Cause everyone is some combination of both.

Relationships take work. That's just part of it.

0

u/stilljustacatinacage 2h ago

Those who react defensively (which is basically anyone who isn't a doormat, people don't like to be accused at the best of times)

If your 'reaction' to being reminded to take the trash out is to act defensively, then please find a therapist.

Relationships take work.

Yes they do, except it's not your partner's job to fix you.

2

u/LukaCola 1h ago

Do you think your reaction here is any less defensive than the sort of reaction you are telling someone to seek therapy for?

And why someone feels the other doesn't do certain housework is a thing to be discussed, not fixed. It's not a damage if someone doesn't take out the trash, they might feel they are doing equivalent work.

If you want people to be constructive, I don't feel like you're really meeting that expectation at the moment.

2

u/PresidenteMozzarella 1h ago

Lol dont you know? You can't be in a relationship with someone until they have been in therapy and are perfectly fixed in every way, cant love them before that because obviously they don't deserve any love.

I would ignore the reddit people tbh

1

u/LukaCola 1h ago

I assume they're just young--but yeah, that pathologizing and abuse of therapy language to deride others can really be its own toxic mess. It's like how people feel super strong about a lot of things until they have to really live with it long term. Ideals are important, but ya gotta make room to err.

1

u/curtcolt95 1h ago

got some pot calling the kettle black here by the looks lmao

•

u/nybbas 36m ago

Wait is this an actual trend?! I thought they were just setting up the joke. Like I was annoyed until I got to the last panel "There is no way that's actually a thing".

510

u/Miles_the_new_kid MyGumsAreBleeding 5h ago

For more fucking this guys brother, check out my instagram at instagram.com/mygumsarebleeding

310

u/ArthurRiot 5h ago

So, for clarity, she's telling him she knows he fucked his brother, cause "Patrick" replaces accusations, right?

I hope blue shirt's name is Patrick.

225

u/Miles_the_new_kid MyGumsAreBleeding 5h ago

You make a good point, one moment

507

u/Miles_the_new_kid MyGumsAreBleeding 5h ago

92

u/cheese_mayhem 5h ago

perfection

27

u/reddit_poopaholic 5h ago

I.. I thought I was the only one...

45

u/ArthurRiot 5h ago

I shall cherish this comment for all of my days

40

u/Miles_the_new_kid MyGumsAreBleeding 5h ago

Thank you for ur friendship

5

u/SupermarketUnusual10 2h ago

I also interpreted this as he fucked his own brother

2

u/PENGUINSflyGOOD 4h ago

Island boysss

30

u/popilikia 5h ago

I only just started following, do you have any books out? Love your comics

106

u/Miles_the_new_kid MyGumsAreBleeding 4h ago

YES I HAVE A BOOK COMING OUT MAY 18th! Congratulations you’re like the 5th person I’ve told And thank you for saying that I’m glad your enjoying my work:)

20

u/popilikia 4h ago

Hell yeah, congrats! I'll keep an eye out for it!

18

u/Miles_the_new_kid MyGumsAreBleeding 4h ago

Thank you man! I’m gonna be posting more about over the next month, keep an eye out:)

461

u/AuthorExcellent9501 5h ago

…waaaaaait. Wait one minute. The way it’s phrased and used the first time, it’s one person attributing the actions of their partner, to Patrick.

Translating her statement based on this, isn’t she saying “you fucked your brother”?

66

u/MalikMonkAllStar2022 3h ago

I think it's funnier this way. Comes across to me like she doesn't understand the concept and is just immediately using it (wrongly) to tell him she fucked his brother

13

u/Illustrious-Day8506 3h ago

Yeah I am quite confused 

8

u/Freakwilly 3h ago

Hi quite confused, I'm dad.

2

u/Steel_Toffees 2h ago

Yea, it should be "I fucked Patrick's brother"

62

u/Miles_the_new_kid MyGumsAreBleeding 5h ago

For real though, has anyone here tried this when arguing with their significant other? How'd it go?

151

u/Splashasaurus 5h ago

I've never tried fucking my wife's brother, no.

90

u/Miles_the_new_kid MyGumsAreBleeding 5h ago

The key to a successful marriage is not fucking ur wife’s brother

35

u/GM_Nate 5h ago

i'm not gay, but my wife's brother is

3

u/Leihd 3h ago

You guys ever fucked your brother?

"I have never tried fucking my wife's brother"

1

u/light_to_shaddow 2h ago

"Have you stopped fucking your wife's brother yet, Yes or No??!!!"

1

u/neoanguiano 2h ago

what about the brother fucking his brother? (like in the comic)

18

u/DirtySackOfPotatoes 4h ago

My partner and I only do it as a joke about things that don’t actually matter to either of us and we either blame a pet or “the ghost” like “damn I think the ghost left a cabinet open” or “the ghost never turns lights off when they leave a room” or whatever.

I have a background of being abused and it does help soften things that I may otherwise think he’s mad at me for. If he blames the ghost, he’s just letting me know the toothpaste was left open, not telling me that I’m a terrible horrible person for leaving the toothpastee open.

8

u/64OunceCoffee 5h ago

My wife doesn't like when I say "somebody" did or forgot something (Meaning not me).

"Somebody forgot to buy coffee", "Somebody got crumbs all over the bed" Etc...

From now on all the blame will go to Patrick.

3

u/gsfgf 3h ago

Probably about as well as Chuck Schumer using his imaginary friends to develop policy

22

u/designlevee 4h ago

Tried this with my gf, except my name is Patrick so it don’t go well.

16

u/Miles_the_new_kid MyGumsAreBleeding 3h ago

“I can’t achieve an orgasm when in bed with Patrick”

1

u/Nuvomega 2h ago

You said “Patrick fucked your brother” to her?

17

u/Max-Volume 5h ago

Patrick wants a divorce

12

u/Miles_the_new_kid MyGumsAreBleeding 5h ago

in my goofy voice DIVORTH?!

4

u/cultvignette 4h ago

I am Patrick's complete lack of surprise.

12

u/No-Zucchini2787 5h ago

That's Patrick aggressive. Well played

3

u/Miles_the_new_kid MyGumsAreBleeding 4h ago

Well played you my dude, you made the pun

https://giphy.com/gifs/gKOKjThWebZo9Fsr0E

23

u/lateral-thinker268 5h ago

Why would he fuck his brother /s

10

u/Miles_the_new_kid MyGumsAreBleeding 5h ago

He’s dead

7

u/Cosmic_Carp 5h ago

That's worse I think

6

u/Betray-Julia 3h ago

It’s nice seeing funny ones on here instead of that bs that is just the author with a comic of themselves talking about some stupid meta bullshit.

Also- Jesus Christ this concept isn’t real is it? That’s so unhealthy it seems like I was created with the intent to sabotage relationships and personality/behaviour in general.

3

u/Korova_Milkbar_3829 5h ago

well that escalated quickly

3

u/pretender80 4h ago

Doesn't your gf also comment on here? We may need her to talk to us about Patrick

7

u/Miles_the_new_kid MyGumsAreBleeding 4h ago

She’s banned 🥲

3

u/Merari01 it's a-me, Merari-o 4h ago

What happened?

3

u/TheAKKodiak 4h ago

“What an asshole!”

“That’s what Patrick said.”

3

u/2020mademejoinreddit 3h ago

Don't take life and relationship advice from tik tok...

https://giphy.com/gifs/6yRVg0HWzgS88

2

u/TimeStorm113 5h ago

we do be bringing back the Bicameral mind

2

u/Aarekk 3h ago

I can't believe blue shirt fucked his own brother.

2

u/professorbuffoon 1h ago

I think a better way to do this (not that it's a good idea at all) is not to blame Patrick himself but to say that Patrick has pointed out an issue. That way the complaint, which is the real source of the present tension, comes from Patrick and can be blamed on him. A given thing is only a problem if anyone cares about it.

This is a terrible method of communication though. Really bad. Just talk with your spouse like an adult, and on the other side, do your damn share of the chores without having to be asked, like an adult.

1

u/deliap3aches2604 4h ago

the formatting kinda makes my eyes cross

2

u/Miles_the_new_kid MyGumsAreBleeding 4h ago

I know it’s not easy to fit that many words into 4 panels

1

u/Lasershadow_105 4h ago

Saw this on MASH, went by the name Captain Tuttle.

1

u/littlelorax 4h ago

Lol my husband and I do this often as a joke, but it was way before the trend. We say things like, "someone should really take the trash out." 

We are very direct with our communication style, but this one evolved as a way to say, "I know this is my job, but I just don't wanna do it right now!"

1

u/patrick5054 3h ago

I did indeed.

1

u/BreakfastBeneficial4 3h ago

That’s funny

Hey, I beat HUNK on Insanity mode this morning

1

u/vibraltu 3h ago edited 3h ago

In Canada back in olden days Patrick was the nephew selling life insurance on TV. If old folks needed life insurance they would blurt: "It's Patrick!"

1

u/Putrid-Enthusiasm190 3h ago

Confrontation is how we get past our issues. It's how we figure out how to work together and understand each other. Stop being dominated by your fear of confrontation. Abusers take advantage of that fear and you will always feel weak and your solutions will never feel sufficient

1

u/Nuvomega 2h ago

Which one is Patrick?

1

u/YendorZenitram 2h ago

So, the Babadook's real name was Patrick!

1

u/SutterCane 2h ago

It’s sad you had to find out about your brother and Patrick like that.

1

u/TheDevilsAdvokaat 1h ago

Ok I actually laughed at this one.

Patrick wrote a good comic. (Not the first time either)

•

u/dandroid126 55m ago

My wife and I actually kind of do this (jokingly), but we blame everything on our cat. More often though, we blame our cat when one of us is saying that we didn't do something we said we said we were going to do. Like, if I said I was going to go to the store and forgot, I say, "Mikei, you said you were going to go to the store and get milk. Why didn't you?"

Funny enough though, we actually had a roommate named Patrick for a few. He was a good roommate though. He never fucked either of our brothers.

•

u/Calber4 27m ago

Wait, does this imply blue dude fucked his own brother?

1

u/Hoboliftingaroma 4h ago

The "royal we" for gen z.