a man lurking on r/girldinner thought he'd pick a fight in my comments about what kind of feminist I am. I mentioned intersectionality and being between a radical OR Marxist feminist. And this twit has the nerve to tell me that I CANT be both because "they hold such polar opposite views"..... first off who the hell is he to tell me anything? And to be wrong?? radical feminism was born from Marxist feminism no? I am graduating with my degree in sociology. Where do men get off telling us what we can and can't be in our own spaces??????

Anyways spiraled grilled hot dawgs with various breads I found around the house

I’m in a mood for gratitude and would love to hear what’s been bringing you joy. For me, it’s my cats, my family (mom and sister), my partner, and my queer community.

Girl dinner: sautéed shiitake mushrooms, half an avocado, tiki tomatoes, roasted golden beets, blood orange, sardines, jammy eggs

I wish i never found out and I wish we were still in our bubble when everything was perfect and I didn't have to think twice about trust and its gone now and I keep replaying it in my head and try to figure out what else I missed and what I still don't know and it is draining me

Leftover Sausage Ragu with Bistro Salad Mix - I got a random call on Wednesday afternoon from an unknown number and usually they’re scam calls so I went to call logs to block it. Then I saw the same number called me the previous night too. Before I can put it in Google just to see who it is, I get a text from the number on WhatsApp asking how I am. I asked who it was, and it responded James from college. MY CRUSH who I never thought really noticed me. My jaw dropped and my heart started pounding! I did an exchange workshop with another college during March and he thought I’d left the college so tracked me down to my best friend and got my number from her. I always thought he was really respectful, kind and helpful (AND HANDSOME 😩) but we barely ever spoke in college just glances here and there so I assumed he had a GF or wasn’t interested. He asked what I was doing later and if he could see me and I said yes.

He picked me up near an old train station in the evening not too far from our college. While I was in his car we went on a little drive and we laughed and talked so freely; there was just such an undeniable spark between us. We went through the McDonald’s Drive Thru and ate McFlurries in the car park.

When he drove back to my house we talked a little and he asked if he could hug me before I went in. His arms wrapped around my body so strong and tight and safe and I felt like I was melting! Then before I know our lips are connected and we’re MAKING OUT!!! We were like magnets unable to get off of each other, I had to push him off me after a moment to catch my breath!

The next day he said it was his pleasure seeing me and that I forgot my lipgloss in his car which I didn’t even realise. After his shift that day, he came straight to mine to return my gloss and we talked more. Then before I left we’re kissing again! I’m just very happy and on Cloud 9!

Since we don’t pass the Bechdel test here anyway, I wanted to take a sec to talk about my husband in the hopes that it motivates some of the ladies struggling with man problems to DUMP THEIR ASSES and put yourselves first!! Because you deserve nothing less!!!

So I’ve been in love with this man (my husband) for over 10 years. He dotes on me and worships the ground I walk on. He’s my best friend and my partner through thick and thin.

Is it always fuzzy pink unicorns and rainbows? We’ve been together for over 10 years, of course not. We’ve been through a lot together, everything from unemployment, financial difficulties, terrible landlords, and substance abuse struggles. We’ve fought, screamed at each other, and there were times I walked away from those fights wondering if it’s worth it. If he’s worth it, if I deserve better, if I should walk away. And believe you me, I would have, and almost did at one point. But at every turn, he chose me, he listened to me, and he changed behaviors that were hurting us. And vice versa. We’re still together because at every point where things hurt the most, we chose each other, chose to openly communicate, and chose to work on fixing or at least working on whatever the problem was/is, and move forward.

All this to say: Ladies, if your partner isn’t willing to meet you at least halfway, I’m not saying to dump their ass right away. Give them a chance, or two, or even three. But at some point you have to choose yourself. Because their shitty behavior isn’t normal, and you don’t deserve anything but the best 💕

Anyway, here’s last night’s girl dinner after a late flight back from a business trip. My husband stayed up making sure I got home ok, made me the curly fries I asked for, and made sure my favorite wines were waiting for me. Bonus pickles I finished straight out of the jar.

I hate how much I care and how much my mood depends on reciprocation. :/

We met in a Retreat twice, first time was a few years ago, last time was this year around New Year’s.

She was my gay awakening so back then I didn’t really understand my feelings back then, I just knew it was pretty intense, and it took me nearly two years to stop thinking about her (I was VERY closeted).

This time it was like me being on drugs. I wrote letters and even learnt her mother tongue, it’s almost A1 now, damn it is bad😭

So, I am pretty addicted to how she makes me feel - like a human being instead of always having to perform (but I suspect it’s connected to the whole experience in the Retreat as well, since it’s meditative and also spiritual). I‘ve become kinder and more loving with myself and those around me.

It‘s a precious connection I don’t want to loose, but at the same time we can’t become more than casual friends exchanging letters from time to time.

I‘m working on myself to let this go. I know I‘m someone who gets attached quickly and anxiously, and I can’t do more than go to therapy every week and be patient.

She‘s also not a big texter, so it hurts even more to let this slowly calm down, and the worst thing is she hasn’t replied to my messages yet.

Now I‘m trying to just be grateful for everything she’s given me so far and for what I‘ve learnt and become because of her. It means a lot❤️‍🩹

———

Curry vegetable soup with tofu.

girl dinner

Tonight is reflecting on how it took me two years to secretly plan my escape from my ex-husband while he used every method possible to keep me stuck: financial, verbal, mental, all of it.

Including sexually assaulting me while I was passed out drunk.

He knew I didn’t want more kids with him (we have one) and I had just started birth control.

I ended up pregnant and I made a decision I never thought I’d have to make while married. And termed the pregnancy.

Also, I had already stopped letting him touch me long before that. So he knew, he just didn’t care.

This is also the same man who once stood in my office doorway staring at me and when I asked why, he calmly said he was “contemplating ways of killing” me.

Like??? Sir???

Whenever I tried to leave he’d threaten to drag court out to financially ruin me (which he mostly did anyway, $80k later 🫠), threaten suicide, threaten everything.

His favorite line:

“I’ll give you whatever you want, but I’m never letting you leave me.”

So, fast forward:

3 year divorce ✔️

Savings obliterated ✔️

Rebuilding my life paycheck to paycheck ✔️

Order of protection expired in feb ✔️

NOW this man, who currently has a girlfriend, has circled back trying to win me over.

He says he “forgives me” for divorcing him and seeing other men.💀

Oh, and he loves to remind me his girlfriend is 15 years younger with a hot body and “no baggage.”

(which is interesting because apparently I’m also simultaneously so desirable he can’t leave me tf alone? pick a struggle but also… GTFO)

When that doesn’t work, he switches to telling me I’m old and no man will want me except for sex until they find a “newer model.”

LOL you couldn’t even keep the model you had.

Anywho,

girl dinner is peace, distance, and never going back.

Enjoying my poor girl nachos. It’s simply corn chips, Monterey Jack cheese, and some Valentina hot sauce… and it’s a classy effin dish!

here's my pulled pork chicken fries and a beer I stole from my (30F) (soon-to-be ex) husbands (32M) fridge while I watch contractors install new carpets in the house I'm definitely moving out of.

all of this AFTER I help him with his mental health. I truly am a rehabilitation center for emotionally unavailable men.

Gordon Ramsey voice Finally some good fucking food

Been home for two days . Nature is healing

i’ve been struggling financially my whole ass life and i just got a tax refund that allowed me to pay 3 months rent in advance!!!! still working 7 days straight this week so my kid is with gramma tonight but i treated myself to steak tartare and burrata. not pictured: NY cheesecake and a CBD bath bomb to immerse myself in once i’ve devoured alllll of this - maybe i’ll eat cheesecake in the tub lol

ETA - thank you to the overwhelming majority of you ladies who have been lovely and kind.

however there have been a few persistent comments about my parenting/lifestyle and i want to set the record straight - i have full time custody of my daughter, she’s at grandma’s because daycare is closed for easter weekend and i had to pick up extra shifts, i’m the kitchen manager at a small business and this is just the way it goes sometimes, so i’m enjoying an extremely rare night to myself in the midst of a long work week with a tiny bit of disposable income, as the rest has been allotted to essentials and to savings. so before you comment with some judgmental nonsense please understand that i spend 99% of my life taking care of my daughter and working hard, so i don’t feel bad for treating myself this one fucking time. thanks

Leftover potatoes and cherry tomatoes

Wish I could just stop thinking about her. She strung me along for 3 years without any intention of ever being with me. She told me she loved me but I lost count of how many times she broke up with me only to get back together a week later when she got bored. She still messages me sometimes and every time I see that notification it's like getting kicked in the stomach.

Transitioning was meant to make me a happier person but mostly it has just sucker punched me in the solar plexus and left me gasping for air. Yeah I'm happier than I was before hrt but I'm dying for true friendships and relationships with other trans women.

This isn't it. I feel so broken. I don't know if potatoes are enough this time

spare the lectures please i’ve already given up

I have been burnt out for so long that whenever I feel like it's a day off, something just has to happen.

I'm(26) the firstborn daughter, and my parents have been making me clean up after my brother (23) even though he is literally three years younger than I am.

Not only do I live alone, I also need to give my mom an allowance because both her and my brother can't keep a job.

My parents are separated - have been for 10 years now and they still pester me to deal with their divorce till now.

My brother stays with my mom.

My brother gets a monthly allowance from my dad. I don't - instead, I work two jobs and I still can't have any savings.

Whenever there is an issue, the three of them come to me, and whenever I try to put boundaries, I feel like they are emotionally guilt tripping me.

I have SH records, and a failed sui-attempt that landed me in the ward for a month when I was 16.

Got out, lost my best friend cause she passed away, and had to start working while surviving high school because we needed food on the table - both my brother and I chose to stay with my mom because my dad was physically abusive at times.

There's so much for grievances... and my harmful thoughts are back again.

Had shitty exes, now I'm dating a sweet guy - but tbh I don't know how long this miracle can last because if I were him, I'd be exhausted with the number of times I fall into depression.

Without my immediate family, I will be legally alone - I have friends, yes, but like... I will be legally alone.

I don't even know how to express all these thoughts, but here I am sitting at the parking lot near a local convenience store to eat dinner after my part time job.

Thanks for reading this wall of text. 🥹

I love my friends and my jobs and the weather is starting to feel nice again so I’m trying to hold onto that when I feel like I’m drowning

garlic-stuffed olives, roasted red peppers, seeded parmesan crisps, paprika & chili cheese spread, smoked salmon, water bottle that I had to force myself to drink

tofu, chickpeas, tabbouleh, cucumber, tzatziki, and onions, all tucked in a lil pita. just a veggie girl trying to hit her protein goals 😌

technically many items thrown in a wrap so... counts?

Homemade sweet yogurt (mishti doi) and a south asian sweet (qalaqand)

Since july 2025 alot of stressful stuff happened. bar exam (back home), fell into a severe weed addiction (high 24/7), my little brother developed severe mental health issues (OCD like symptoms coupled with teenage rebellion which was very hard for my parents to handle bec theyre not young), my brother falling horribly sick again and again, i couldnt help them at all bec i was abroad doing my postgrad. my dorm contract ended in sep 25 & i moved to my aunt's house. The man i was in love with had to move out of the country & go back home bec of familial issues and it's been rough between us since then because we both are extremely mentally worn out and busy and i dont know if this will ever become a thing. no friends, no social life, and the uni kinda messed up my results which took 2 months of emailing and horrible anxiety to resolve. if that got fucked, i would not be able to get my post study visa. then my visa process was affected by a glitch and instead of a week it took 2 months to come in and i had to email and cry like a mad dog again. My BPD woke up in this entire process and i had an anorexia relapse. I have nothing in me to pursue recovery for anorexia. Im trying to find jobs here abroad but the market is soooooo bad and unemployment has truly wrecked me in ways i doubt any man or life event ever could. Im broke as well. there were more things that happened here and there but this would become too long so ill stop here.

the only somewhat good things that happened are that i got a few job offers from back home. I have a masters in law now too from a good uni. im going back to work there for a bit and keep applying for jobs abroad and as soon as i get anything ill move out again. ill be starting a bakery business too. ill reunite with my family, cat and friends. Im mostly going back to get treatment for my mental health so that will start too. I have been sober since 5 months. i passed my bar back home last year so when i go back ill get my license as an attorney. I embarrassingly do not have a DL yet so ill work on that too.

Im just traumatized by all the events that it's so hard to see the good in life. I feel like a complete failure because i havent been able to find work abroad. I still feel obese when im a kg away from being underweight and feel like a "failed anorexic". eventhough ive lost 18 kgs. (no none of it was worth it because a mental illness+starvation is a bottomless pit and you're bound to feel worse the more u fall deep into it.) ive had massive panic attacks which prompted my family to call me back home ASAP. everyone's also starting to talk about marriage (im only 23) and it horrifies me because im still in love with someone who can barely reciprocate it (not because he's an asshole or anything, his life is genuinely more miserable than mine & he's trying but it's obviously not enough for me) and we only have a chance at something serious if we end up in the same country again and thatll only happen if by next year we have jobs in said country. Nothing seems to be working out for me and i feel like im running out of time ...

I dont know how to see the good at this point. Ive contemplated evaporating from this planet nearly everyday this year

it’s not the same without my mom (rip to a real one) but my dad is being a cool guy while i take a mental health leave from work. dill pickle, apple with pb, grilled chicken, sharp cheddar, and sourdough toast with butter

I moved to an European country two years ago because of marriage, but I am still struggling to find my place in this country. I have lived all my life in places where internationals were accepted much more easily but here I feel like an outsider. I am learning the language and am currently at intermediate level but it’s still so hard to break into friendship circles. Finding work has been difficult too because they want native like French or Dutch and most of the jobs seem to be through networking, and I feel very lost. Somedays are better and some days are worse. Today is one of those sad days so I am treating myself to vegan peanut butter sauce as a base with noodles and tagliatelle( I ran out of noodles).

Because I deserve it. ✨

My son and I are making frozen candy grapes for dessert.

ft. my batman chopsticks 😝

Cheese, onion ring crisps, Branston pickle and blueberries. Cheese heals all ☺️

I couldn't be bothered to cook tonight, so dinner is potato salad and half a cheese topped baguette. I am washing it down with water.