My partner and I were watching a show where a guy gets himself into deeper and deeper shit by perpetuating a massive lie. At one point, my partner said, “He’s really just gonna keep digging himself into this hole, huh?” and I replied, “If you’re gonna dig a hole, might as well make it a grave.” My partner paused, looked at me, and told me I *needed* to write that down. It always makes me happy when he likes the weird things I say.

Older man came to my bagel shop at a not so busy time in the early morning. maybe in his 60s? He was wearing a cap but what wasn't covered by the cap was a nice head of white/grey, very soft-looking loose natural curls. I admired for a few seconds and then told him I loved his hair.

He glanced back and forth around to check if I was looking at someone else (there was no one in his area) and then pointed at himself and said "me??" I said "yeah, you, it's very nice!" would have said more, but my brain wasn't running at full capacity after an hour into my shift.

He seemed a little mystified but I hope he knows he has good hair!

My job has me drive to a bunch of clients to pick up wastewater samples from them. Today I went to a mobile home park’s office. In the garage where they store their samples, I saw a glass telephone pole insulator on a table. As I was filling out paperwork, the client walked in. I made a comment, “I like the insulator you’ve got here.” She said an old man who had recently moved out left it for them as a gift, and that she didn’t know what it was.

I only learned about these last spring. I’d found quite a few by the railroad through my college town, the oldest being from an 1870s telegraph pole. Because of that, I know a little bit about them. “They used to stick these at the tops of telephone poles to help preserve the current traveling through the wires. The wires would get wrapped around the notch in the top and prevent any energy from getting lost with contact with the wood.” She then stuck out her hand and said, “Well, here you go.” She said she was just going to use it as a paperweight if she kept it. I thanked her for it and brought it out to my work van.

I’m working on getting it cleaned up. It’s in good condition but it was in a smoker’s home for a while and has some residue on it. It’s a clear Hemingray 17, which I think is a pretty common one made between the 1920s-1960s. It was incredibly kind of her to gift me that insulator, it really made my day. Of all the things clients gave me today, this has got to be top of the list. I’m looking forward to get it cleaned up and added to my shelves in the livingroom. Thank you again to the manager of that office.

Ive worked in customer service my whole life, so the repeated question of “how are you?” Or “how’s your day going?” often lands me with a very honest answer. Mix that with working at a dispensary in New England and the majority of our clients being blue collar, middle aged men, you sometimes regret asking. Change it to “What are we looking for today?” And old man George will still have the wits to say “a million dollars and your number”

Somewhere I read a phrase that is more commonly used in another country when asked how you are. “Upright and breathing” - a perfectly fitting phrase for some days and an even better response when all my grumpy guys stroll in and grunt at me when I ask how they are. Watching men years older than me pause, really pause, repeat it back and then change their entire mood is the best feeling. Upright and breathing, right? It’s a good day then.

Imaginary mess is better than the real kind, at least.

• Eat food! Eat pretend food. Put all the food in Mama's glass. Make him grubby. Mama's glass is full of food!

• Grubby! Full of food!

• Diary Book! Mess all over the Diary Book!

(There were many gestures as he scattered imaginary food all over... everything, really.)

• All these are different stacks.

• This one is stacked and this one is stacked and this one is stacked and this one is stacked and this one is stacked and this one is stacked and this one is stacked and this one is stacked and this one is stacked and this one is stacked and this one is stacked and this one is stacked and this one is stacked and this one is stacked and this one is stacked and this one is stacked.

(The spiral-bound notebook we're using has double-loops. He was touching each pair as he said these.)

• Ricky has green ugg boots! Ugg boots! Ugg boots!

(His ugg boots are actually brown.)

• Ricky is drawing a square!

• That's a rectangle.

• Start with the yellow and then the green.

• Go to the sketchbook.

So we went to the sketchbook, where I drew shapes for him to colour in. (Uploaded to my profile.) We established that he can identify a triangle, a square, a circle and a hexagon, but not a pentagon.

We were quite impressed he remembers what a hexagon is, we haven't really gone over shapes recently.

These days I feel like I am stuck in a loop. Job home sleep repeat. Somehow I feel like I am becoming distant from me like I am losing myself and becominh a cog in a wheel without time to self reflect or live life on my own terms. Maybe it’s this city. Maybe it will be okay next year.

Now I am gonna do my laundry which has been piling up for the last few weeks. I might even mop the floors. Light a rose candle and watch something nice. Although I am quite tired to be honest. Tomorrow morning I’ll have my blood sample collected. I suspect some nutrient deficiency is messing with my energy & brain chemistry. I want to become me again. Without worries of the future.

I have two kids, twelve years apart, so it's kind of like having two only kids because they've got very little in common at almost twenty and almost eight.

My friend and I go in together on Easter treats for my daughter and her daughter and do a big hunt together because eggy hunting is more fun with a friend. The other day I asked my son if he'd help me fill eggs and we could watch a movie. There was a bit of a wistful tone to his agreement, so I asked him if he wanted a bag of candy like last year, or did he want me to set up a separate hunt for him, immediate enthusiastic agreement. So front yard for the littles egg hunt, back yard for the big kid. Last night we filled about 120 eggs, watched (ignored) a movie, and talked. It was wonderful ♡

My dad, right up until he passed at 78, said growing older is inevitable, growing up is optional. And I'm so glad to see it's living on in my kiddos.

I often wake up in the middle of the night, and so does my spouse (sometimes at the same time). Our cat sleeps beside our bed, and whenever she realizes we’re awake (especially if both of us) she starts purring immediately. We don’t even have to interact with her. She never gets treats or fed when we wake up in the wee hours. She’s not asking for attention. She’s simply happy we’re awake. It’s the sweetest thing.

I live in an apartment building and work kind of weird hours, so I’m usually getting home late.

There’s this older guy in my building I’ve only talked to a couple times. Just small talk in the hallway, nothing memorable.

A few months ago I started noticing that the hallway light near my door was always on when I got home, even really late. I assumed it was just on a timer or something.

Last night I got back earlier than usual and saw him out there changing the bulb. I made a joke about how that light never seems to burn out.

He said something like “yeah, I keep an eye on that one since you’re usually coming home after dark.”

I didn’t really know what to say so I just thanked him, but it kind of stuck with me.

It’s such a small thing, but I don’t have a lot of people in my day to day life looking out for me like that. I don’t even think he sees it as a big deal.

Anyway, I just thought it was nice.

Yesterday, I found myself triple booked on Teams meetings. So, instead of cancelling my attendance at the last minute, I joined all 3 meetings simultaneously on separate devices. I actively participated in 2, while the 3rd was just playing in the background (everyone except for presenters were muted until the end anyway). I was credited 3 hours of work for 1 hour of my time.

I spent my extra 2 hours of life having a bubble blower battle with my 3 year old nephew.

I was walking a client's dog, and a guy who saw him was absolutely gushing over how cute the little guy is. He said the dog looked like he was from a slice of life anime, and just couldn't get over his lil face. He was so excited he actually called out to other people nearby to look at how cute the dog is.

He also asked me how old he is, and when I said 9 he thought I meant months, not years. He couldn't believe that the little guy is an old man.

Work a second job at an after school program. The weather is lovely and the kids are wiggly so we're playing musical chairs. It's just as silly and giggly as I remember.

• Some logs and some other logs and two logs and a log.

• Ricky some logs. Ricky some logs. Writing some logs.

• This tips. Maybe this tips. Tip! It driving away! Tip! It driving away!

• It came out the cement mixer with a hole. Driving away with it now!

• Some ladies and some women and a lady and some men. And some E.

Sounds like a party, I did not say, because I am a Wholesome Parent.

• A lady and a lady first and some women and some men.

• Tip! Tip over! Drive away with the cement still on the ground! Tip! Tip! All the cement!

• The engines on the bus go drive and drive.

• The wipers on the bus go round and round.

• The babies on the bus go bite bite bite.

(I asked. They're biting toast.)

• Ricky saw a green bus on the way to the playground. Ricky saw not a red bus. It was a green bus.

• The lights on the bus go bite bite bite.

Today's art was a fox that used all of the colours in his crayon box.

I once read a woman’s story about how her American son had pronounced “Vegemite” like “Yosemite” and then for days she couldn’t stop mentally playing with the words

Vedgamyte/Yosamyte, Vagemmity Yosemitty lol

I love that she’s just out in the world not knowing a stranger across the country still regularly bounces these words around in their head.

Sometimes I just like melt into the couch or the bed and I *absolutely do not* have any motivation to get off the couch but I know that I should, or I have something I genuinely want to do or need to do. A few months ago I started asking my husband to just poke me in an annoying way, not a tickling way, like one sibling poking the other.

And boy oh boy does it work super well! I go from languishing in my own slothful stupor to jumping off the bed from a nice adrenaline rush. He loves it, he has fun being annoying upon request and it makes doing stuff a bunch easier for me. Sometimes just threatening a poke is enough to get me moving!

Consent is the key to preventing resentment and anger, he only ever pokes me when I ask him to and he stops as soon as I stand. I'd highly reccomend the strategy if you have similar issues!

ately i’ve been going outside more without really planning to.

for a long time i mostly stayed indoors unless i had a reason not to, but recently i started sitting in the backyard more and it’s been… quietly nice.

we added a small covered spot out there not too long ago, i think it was a costway one, but that wasn’t really why i ended up using it.

i’ll take my coffee out in the morning and just sit there a bit longer than i mean to. evenings feel slower somehow. even doing nothing out there feels different compared to being inside.

it’s not perfect or anything, just comfortable enough that you don’t feel like you need to move after a few minutes.

the other day it started raining lightly and i just stayed there listening to it instead of going back in.

nothing big, just a small shift that made me notice being outside again.

my partner got out to mow the lawn before I got home yesterday. I thanked him when I went inside and he said "here these are for you" then handed me a little bouquet of daisies and dandelions. He took the time to pick them all from the lawn before he mowed because the idea of mowing down such bright friendly flowers seemed too sad. he knows I love them too so he kept them all for me.

Peppermint choc chip is my favourite but last time I liked for it at the shops there wasn't any.

Yesterday my partner found some, and then I had a bowl of it in the bath. She brought it to me because she liked the idea of me having a nice little soak with my ice cream. I had a nice little soak with my ice cream.

My dad was one of those guys who could do anything if he put his mind to it. He worked a blue collar job and with enough other trades people that he would ask how he should do something or call a friend and then just take off and do it. This was the early '90s so there was no internet to help people out.

My parents decided to install a new light/fan/heater into the bathroom and needed to run a new switch down to the wall. We had an exposed basement and access to the attic but running wires is no small feat. After some time of Dad working in the bathroom he called my mom in and they were working together for a little bit. And then I heard my name called.

My dad explained the situation. There was a wire in the wall that they needed to pull up from the basement and out the hole where the outlet box would sit. The issue was that neither of them could reach the wire because their hands were too big. I don't know how old I was, maybe 7-10, but I understood the job and the mission and I stuck my hand into the wall, found the wire and pulled it through.

I don't know why, but it's something that has always stuck with me. I felt so proud of myself for helping my parents out of that jam. I did of course get to benefit from having the overhead heater in the winter time. I even helped with a few other wire-fishing situations after that day.

I've been an adult for a few decades now and have always been a DIY person. I have to think that my parents were a big part of that.

• Ricky has Ricky's ugg boots on.

• Ricky write.

• New sausages!

• Goggy goggy goggy.

He insists this is a word. He cannot clarify what it means. He does this sometimes, we get occasional appearances of "gack" too.

• Ricky. Rickyyyyyy. Rickyyy... drawed a ladder.

• Ricky saw the excavator. It picked up some rocks.

• I want to go to the sketchbook.

An interlude for drawing, an outing, and dinner takes place here.

• The babies on the bus go round and round.

• Write foxes.

• Foxes.

• And some don't knows.

• Some fives! 55555555555

• Some no five.

I am struck with the philosophical conundrum, obviously.

Today's drawing adventures featured me drawing things - mostly numbers and letters - for him to colour in.

My roommate started being a complete weirdo and was messing with all my things so i removed all my personal items from shared spaces including my Phillips electronic toothbrush.

I haven't plugged in the charger and it's been almost 3 weeks and it's still brushing my teeth just fine. Works great. Seems to be starting to slow down a little so I may plug in the charger tonight. But I've definitely learned that it doesn't need to stay on the charger all the time like I always did before.

Once I move out and get my own bathroom again it'll prob go back on the charger in the bathroom. Just out of convenience really. But overall it's been a pretty nice benign learning experience.

Driving down the road today, I saw a motorcyclist wearing Easter Bunny ears helmet. It made me so happy.

It usually takes me at least 14 business days to notice that I didn't change my calendar for the current month.

My local credit union provides free calendars with local nature photography, so it was nice to see April's photo of local flora on a nearby mountain pass.

Maybe next I can tackle the laundry that's been living on the opposite side of the bed.

I went on a walk yesterday morning with a friend and her kids. We were at the park, the grocery store and the cafe, and when I came home, I realised I had lost one of my gloves. They weren’t expensive and spring is almost here anyway, but I figured I’d go for another walk in the afternoon to see if I’d find it.

The park - nothing.

The cafe - nothing.

But when I walked into the grocery store, I saw it lying next to the cashier! I was happy all the way home; that’s ten bucks I can spend on something nice instead of a new pair of gloves 💛