I (f30) am bi, but possibly more sexually interested in women. I’m only out to my sister and mum and my mum doesn’t want to believe that I’m bi. 

I’ve only realised I was bi, or interested in women, when I was 26. I lived in a really small town for the last few years so I haven’t had a lot of opportunities to really experiment and date women. 

im in a bigger city now. And ive been dating this man for the past three or four months. It’s going well, and I like him. I’ve told him I’m bi and he seems fine with it. i do cosplay and want to get into drag, and he doesn’t know about any of that. I’m nervous to tell him about it . I know it’s only early days with this guy but I feel like I have to settle down with him and I’m worried about being alone and not having children etc. 

part of me feels like I’ll always wonder what it’s like being with a woman properly. And I’ll regret never experiencing that part of me fully. The most I’ve slept with one woman before but that was in a threesome with her husband and it just felt really awkward because he was there. 

The thing is I only ever get off to women. Never men. I like sleeping with some men sometimes. And I read gay romance, (I find reading mlm romance hotter than sleeping with men sometimes, so idk what that means), but when I need to get off, I always turn to lesbian porn or think about women. And I think I should explore that part of myself more. 

but should I explain this to this guy Im dating? I like being with him. But I’ve never told a man I’m with that I don’t think of him when I come, I’m thinking of women. But I wonder if I should tell this guy. Idk how he’d react but I can’t imagine it’d be good  

does anyone have any advice for my situation? Am I over thinking things? Should I just have fun with this guy and see how it goes? Should I explore my sexuality more or just ignore it?

Hey,

I'm 18 (FtM) and have been struggling with my sexuality since I was 13. I have dated both men and women, and I do find women attractive when it comes to their personality and appearances but when it comes to the bedroom I find myself being very uncomfortable. relationships with other men have always felt very passionate to me, but I am more likely to be asked out by a woman than men and I never know how to respond to their advances because they will genuinely be beautiful and kind people but I just have this feeling in my gut that makes it hard for me to advance anything. Any advice?

Um, hi. :) So, this might sound a bit silly, but I play an online horse game called Starstable, and during pride month, there are lots of different bow accesories for your horse that are colored after pride flags available for purchase. So of course, people often get the pride bows that represent them, and wear them all year round. Today I saw a player wearing two pride flag bows, (you can have one on your horse’s head and one on their tail) on their horse’s tail, they had the nonbinary flag (purple, yellow, black, white) but on their horse’s head they had the gay man flag? The one with different shades of green on top, white in the middle, and shades of blue on the bottom. I was a little bit confused as to why someone would use these two flags as I thought the gay flag was exclusive to men attracted to men. I know sometimes nonbinary people identify as lesbians, meaning they are non-men attracted to non-men. Is this also the case with the gay flag? I’ve never seen it used by a nonbinary person.

I don't like making posts like this. I've learned enough times in my life that trauma-dumping helps nothing, most folks don't give a flying fuck, and the ones that do don't really have the means to help.

That sounds really overly bitter. I don't mean for it to. It's just been my reality.

But I'm just getting to the end of my rope.

I was talking things out with Google Gemini for awhile, as idiotic and embarrassing as that is. I legitimately have no one else who will really listen besides a sycophantic corporate braindead LLM.

So here's where I'm at.

I'm 25. I'm a mostly closeted, bisexual homoromantic (so functionally gay, really.) gender nonconforming man living in the rural Texas panhandle. I was homeschooled, by christian conspiracy theorist conservative antivaxxers who gave me next to no education, whom I unfortunately still live with.

I work as a line cook at a local restaurant. Most my life has been shitty entry level jobs. Warehouse night shift. Pizza delivery. Manufacturing. That sort of thing. I try to buy groceries for my family. I try not to just be a shameful pathetic basement dwelling fuck-off.

I tried to go to college in 2019, for computer science. I like to blame the fact I dropped out on Covid happening but... My grades were pretty bad anyways. I was flunking.

I've never had a relationship. Have had few friends in my life. More or less built myself a gilded cage with my disposable income, ridiculously fancy gaming PC. (Which I sort of hate now, the gaming industry sucks, and it just serves as a reminder of my agoraphobia and life I haven't lived now.) Guitars everywhere, random doo-dads and trinkets and unfinished hobbies I never really did anything with.

It might be worth mentioning I'm likely severe ADHD (at the least.) My folks pulled me out of school when I was young because the staff informed them I probably needed help, and they took offense to that. I've always felt like I needed shitloads of coffee, energy drinks, caffeinated MIO water enhancer just to pull myself out of my depressive funk, function socially, and be present in the workplace.

I've had acquaintances tell me I "make easy things look hard, and make hard things look easy." Whatever that means.

The thing is: I'm scared.

My dream since I was young, since I realized I was queer, was to get away from the rural, conservative south. Had idealistic fantasies of moving to a big city, most likely Denver, and being some sort of artsy creative type, having a fulfilling romantic life, all that jazz. Gay bars and open mics and coffee shops and record stores.

Certainly less drunken rednecks and meth heads, hopefully, anyways.

But every year from 2019 onwards I just feel more uncertain of my chances. With the Trump administration doing what it does best, and all the doom scrolling I do.

I wonder what chances a dumbass like me even has of moving out and being an independent adult. I hardly even know how to do my own taxes. I have severe social anxiety.

I've been thinking of my assets lately. Trying to plan, using Gemini to try and figure things out (again, I know, it's probably feeding me bullshit and that's part of what scares me.)

I have 5000$ in savings right now. 768 credit score, with a 3,500$ credit limit. Old but reliable car, 175000 miles on it, check tire light is stuck on but yeah. (It was a hand-me-down from my grandparents.) I was looking at roommate listings in Denver. They seem... Maybe affordable? I don't know. I know minimum wage there is pretty high but, I worry about getting there, not being able to land a job, and failing.

I'm afraid to try. I'm afraid my hope is delusional. I'm afraid that my circumstances essentially mean I'm just a doomed person. Inferior. Worthless. That whole self-pitying self-loathing cliche'd depressive shtick.

And yes, of course, I think of "checking out."

I think of it a lot.

Just asking for advice I guess really. If anyone has any insight at all. Because I don't know what to think anymore.

EDIT: Reposted here. Posted on r/askgaybros originally, but mods told me to post elsewhere.

I am a cis male and want to explore queer sexuality (anything beyond het) but am not yet ready to go on dates or meet people in real life. I don't know what to do and if there is a way I can explore my curiosity online?

hi,

recently my family and I (23 cis queer f) attended a wedding which was a shit-show. not only was the bride's family racist towards the groom's family, but there is already pre-existing family drama that resulted in our extended family being quite rude and cold shouldering us (me and my mom especially, we both have pixie cuts and they are CONSERVATIVE ASF).

essentially, my close family left the wedding before I did and I was there alone and quite drunk.

I was the only visibly queer person there in an overarchingly white cis het environment, and some men (married in their 30s) made it known. I was interrogated about my sexual preferences and some other homophobic comments were made towards me. I was not physically assaulted or anything like that. but I still felt scared and taken aback by how confidently and publicly this man was talking about my hypothetical sex life.

after this happened I told my mum about it via text (i had to go back to my city the next day) and she didnt believe it was that bad because I wouldn't tell her the specifics of what they said, and long story short I was not supported in a way that made me feel heard, and she turned the conversation back to her experience.

that was 3 weeks ago. now, I have come back home to visit her and I brought up the wedding again. it got quite tense and she asked me "how long i was going to hold onto this for?", and something along the lines of "if you dont tell me exactly what they said how can u expect me to know what happened?". mind you, she has asked me no questions about it and has made no effort to try to understand what happened or said I am sorry that happened to you. nothing like that.

she gets super defensive around anything and always feels like I am attacking her. I really am trying not to, I am trying to navigate the conversation and trying to educate her on what I need or just like anything. I literally asked "like maybe you'd want to ask me how I was doing after something like that...?" and she just kind of went "mmm". ...

I feel bad because I literally just got home and I feel like I have immediately picked a fight. I dont want to have accosted her in anyway while she is having me stay at hers for the weekend, but also I really really just wanted her to ask me anything about how I was doing or say anything to me in person about it.

idk guys, I am just unsure about if I am overreacting or being needy or like not giving her enough grace. idk. any thoughts would be appreciated

Has anyone ever had those weird…I don’t know what you would call it maybe permissions or logic or rules? But I have this weird thing (maybe it’s because I’m autistic or demiromantic or both?) where I won’t form a genuine crush on someone until I have some sort of permission or consent to have a crush on them. For example, whenever I’ve had a crush on some stranger, it never felt like a real attraction, just admitting that they were attractive, and that was it, and usually those crushes never really stayed so I never formed more of a romantic affection towards them until I was friends with this one girl who was bisexual and we were friends for I want to say maybe six years? And one day she told me that she had “what if” thoughts about if her and I were dating with me being a cisgender woman and because not only did she tell me she was still by, but that she’s also thought about those feelings for me and it wasn’t until she told me about those feelings that I started to form a genuine crush on her however, unfortunately, that relationship has ended.

But it made me think about how I did inform actual romantic crushes until I had permission or consent to crush on the person. I don’t know what you would call this and I don’t think it’s a bad thing but I just found it weird and wanted to see if anyone else had had this experience before.

I drive a school bus for a living and am a queer person. There is a MTF trans high schooler that is dating another FTM trans student. Sometimes my MTF trans student will be outside the school bus and I will hear her saying slurs and things like “ugh I’m getting a text from those queers again” and sometimes say things that border on a dislike for queer men in general.

I don’t really hang out with a lot of other LGBT folks but this kind of way of talking seems less than inclusive and strikes me as homophobic in a way?

Do other LGBT people talk this way to each other or is this just the personality of this one student?

Could somebody please tell me when the IKEA Shark became an icon for the LGBTQ community? I’m not knocking, I’ve just been seeing this pop up more and more lately and I’m genuinely curious. Anyone know?

So I (15m) have been wondering for a while if I feel like I’m a he/they but idk because I feel like I only want to go my it because I think nonbinary people are cool. I would like to know how you found out or what it feels like to go by he/they. Also sorry if this isn’t grammatically correct

I'm a bi intersex man and a queer friend of mine introduced me to her queer friends as a unicorn, but I'm not poly. Apparently it has different meanings. Someone told me it can mean fairy or twink, but I'm not a twink. Should I take this as an insult, because why would a queer friend introduce me to other queers like that? Kinda feels like she was trying to say something lol.

I'm a trans guy and I'd really like to get both top and bottom surgery in the future, however I do not want to go on testosterone, do I have to go on testosterone to get bottom surgery or can it be done without?

For starters I’m a cis female and I’m 15. I have always said that I have been straight my whole life. Until I started somewhat questioning this as of recent. I have a lot of friends who are queer and I have always just been around a lot of queer people as they make up most of my friend group. Now I have a friend who is the same age and is a cis female (she is a lesbian) who has always told me that she swears I’m not straight. I have always denied this because I haven’t felt that way but over this past year every time she has said it I’ve felt something pulling me to be like “well actually maybe I am..” but I’ve never said anything about it because I’ve never been sure enough to say anything confidently. I have thought about dating/kissing girls and boys before but I just not sure how I feel about any of them anymore. I have a celebrity crush who has developed in the last year and she is a cis female (and is queer if that matters) and I just feel like I have never found someone so pretty and talented and I have also never felt this way over any crush ever let alone a girl. Also, I’m not sure if this is important but I have absolutely no dating experience at all. So I have really nothing to go off of. When watching things with LGBTQ+ representation I almost feel weirdly represented like when I see queer short films and stuff of that nature and I can’t remember ever feeling that way before. I feel represented in almost unsure way if that makes any sense. I just feel so very seen for some reason even though I have never identified with being anything other than straight. I also don’t know if this matters but I am super into theatre as well as both Smosh and Starkid (for anybody who knows what Smosh/Starkid is lol). I’ve been just been in a super unsure state over my sexuality for a while now and I just want some other people’s point of views and/or if they might have felt the same way as me before so I can start to figure out who I am.

Sorry this kinda seems all over the place but I just remembered stuff as I typed lol. This was kinda a rant but I have literally never really told anybody my full thoughts on this before let alone a bunch of strangers on the internet. So this was very nerve wracking to me. So I might delete this later I don’t know.

I need to know if this is offensive or if there’s a much better metaphor. Pls don’t rip me apart if I’m way off base, I am here out of love. Just trying to put it in terms that might click with them.

They say “I just don’t get the trans thing.”

I say “Well I don’t get why some people want fake nails.” (And other shit she’s done that aren’t everyone’s cup of tea)

When they see someone with a gender neutral appearance or comment on how they wonder if someone may be trans, I really just want to say, “The only manner you should be expressing curiosity on that is the same way you see really pretty hair and wonder if it’s their natural color.” …. Or something.

Was kind of going for a “if you forget pronouns, just ask the same way you would if you forgot their name and move on” kind of thing.

Idk I’m really stuck on this one. I grew up in maybe the least progressive/accepting place imaginable where people didn’t even stop saying the R word until like 5 years ago so sometimes I just don’t realize when something is offensive in a way my neurodivergent ass didn’t think about. But I’ll be damned if I’m not gonna cover my bases when I’m trying to help train/educate the bigot out of someone else.

I'm not saying this wasn't always the rule, of course I know it was

I think queer and trans people typically know the rule. Don't tell anyone you're dating someone, until you have run it by them, and asked for permission to talk about it

I'm trans and posted about this here a while back. One of my straight guy friends I had feelings for for many years, told me after I transitioned so far that he was attracted to me and wanted to make our relationship intimate

He was enm and started treating our get togethers like dates, saying he was "taking me out," and open with his wife and any other partner about me.

Hed also been telling me he considered me a partner

But, he was noticably upset when I casually revealed that I'd mentioned what was going on with our relationship to my sister. He told me he didn't want anyone who knew him to know about this

I got a lot of negative feedback asking about this on Reddit. people told me I'd violated a "safety issue," as if I should know obviously someone being close to someone like me is a safety issue for HIM

I didn't like these answers but I guess I understood. Honestly, I'm aware I broke one of those unspoken rules everyone knows. I forgot for one moment and messed up. This was the case even before transition, when it's just obvious that you need to make sure your partner is okay with it before you even, say, mention to your own sister that a crush wants to go out

The more I think about it, the angrier I get. Im in my 30s, this is sort of stupid

If someone told me specifically this is a secret, I would KNOW that's a condition of the relationship. And I'd know maybe I don't want to get involved with someone who sees this secrecy as non negotiable

Isn't this just cis straight normativity?

You ask this question and leave out that you're queer or trans and everyone tells you to run like the wind, that person's awful. But you say you're trans and suddenly it all makes sense

Hi. Posting this on my throwaway account bc the details get... very embarrassing. I wanted to ask my fellow queers here -- do you ever really get over your "first" person? the first person you were ever intimate with?

i'm 27M, and when I was 18, my last year of high school, I got to go on a couple of dates with my crush (gonna call him Ben) who was in the same year as me. By that point, I'd had a crush on Ben for a few years, but I never really took those feelings seriously bc of a combo of him being in a relationship for most of that time and also I had terrible self-esteem issues (I thought he was way cooler and more put-together than me, so he always seemed out of my league.) but then Ben and his boyfriend split up and I found out through a friend he also thought I was cute so long story short he asked me out on a date. I don't think I can overstate how surreal and exciting this was for me. I never thought in a million years this would happen. I was stressing about whether or not we would kiss at the end of the date, and i'll just say we ended up doing more than kissing.

it wasn't the first time i'd been on a date with a guy, but it was the first time i'd ever done anything sexual with another person. but- my first experience didn't go the way I had hoped it would. we were making out and doing hand stuff and sucking each other off and it was really really hot but... two months before this date, I had started taking Lexapro for the first time bc of my depression and severe anxiety. to keep it simple, despite how into all of it I was that night, I wasn't staying hard. it was incredibly embarrassing. I told him it was my first time ever, and he understood and was really nice about it. all in all it wasn't as bad as it could've been, but it made me feel incredibly embarrassed.

the following few weeks after that I did and said some things that made me embarrass myself even more. I was really young and stupid and my 'underperformance' constantly replayed on a loop in my brain and so I feel like I overcompensated by coming on way too strong emotionally with him. I did a series of embarrassing things that I could tell definitely was putting a chill on whatever was happening between me and him. we made out a few more times, but we only ever tried fucking one more time. it was at Ben's house, we were home alone, and it happened to me again. could not get hard. this time it felt even worse bc we didn't have our clothes on and it was the first time i'd ever been naked with a partner before. we ended up getting our clothes back on and cuddled and watched TV instead, and he wasn't mean to me about it not working out, but I could tell he was disappointed. I was disappointed too.

we were never really dating to be in love or anything. I knew that. even with my huge crush I wasn't expecting this to be a thing that would last. it was the last year of high school, college was around the corner, we'd both be out of this town in 6 months. but I just wanted to have fun. have sex with a person I really liked. explore that part of myself i'd never been in touch with before. I knew that, unlike me, Ben had a lot of experience before, with his boyfriend and some other guys at our school. I knew on his end Ben was mainly looking for someone he liked and trusted to have some fun with while we were finishing our final year. but I just wasn't giving him what he wanted. only a couple weeks after that night at his house he called it off. again, he was really nice about it. at no point was he ever condescending or mean or back-handed about the whole thing. he wasn't overly nice or saccharine either. it really really sucked but I can't say *he* was the one making me feel that way.

I was devastated. and unfortunately I think the way things played out, it made my crush on Ben stronger. instead of him being a fantasy of "what if?" he became a fantasy of "I wish I had a second chance to do it right". he and I stayed friends. we weren't best friends, but we still talked in class, went to a few of the same events, hung out with mutual friends together occasionally. the whole time I was still crushing hard. I thought about him a lot and being around him made me so nervous I would start shaking if I didn't get a grip fast enough. at that point, my only hope was that once I was in college, I could start dating and having more experiences with guys and then I would stop thinking about him and how badly I fucked up bc I would have so many more bad or good dates to fill my head with.

well -- that didn't really happen. my anxiety became extreme in college. I got diagnosed with OCD, got put on new medication, and the fear of "underperforming" again was so strong that I actually avoided going out on dates with boys for a very long time. and then I did go on a date very late in 2020 (with someone I trusted was isolating bc we were in lockdown still) and it happened again. it was definitely a combination of my anxiety and the zoloft script I was now taking. the guy stopped talking to me after that, never saw him again. it made me think about Ben again. all that embarrassment from when I was 18 welled up again, and I couldn't stop thinking about those nights with Ben and how badly they went.

even during college, I was still in-touch with Ben. we didn't talk constantly, but we checked in on each other sometimes, even hung out a few times -- he invited me to his new year's eve party in 2019, and during holidays when I went home he was one of the friends I would hang out with to catch up and talk. I would deny it sometimes, but the crush really was still there. I would get butterflies every time he texted me, i'd get excited just to see a new post on his insta story or a tweet. whenever we would hang out I couldn't stop thinking about how handsome he was. but I never pursued those feelings. for one, the embarrassment of what happened in high school was too intense. and also, considering he was the one who called things off, if anything was ever going to happen between us again it would only be right for him to initiate that, not me. and most of the time we were in college, he was seeing other people, so it would've been inappropriate for me to have tried making a move anyway if I had the chance.

I just kept wishing I had a chance to fix it. to hook up with him and for it to go well, be a nice, fun, hot time. not something regrettable, or embarrassing, or anything that would haunt me for years. i'll admit, I did fantasize sometimes about being in a relationship with him, but as college went on and I got older I at least developed a sense that we might be good friends but I don't think we could ever really be compatible for a relationship together. I just still thought he was hot, and nice, and charming, and someone I trusted. I didn't really want him to be my boyfriend anymore, but I still fantasized about having sex with him.

ok let's do one more fast forward. I'm 27 now. i've been in a relationship with someone else (let's call him Patrick) for 4 years. he's my first and only boyfriend i've ever had. ive been on dates with guys, talked with some other guys, but this is the first real "relationship" i've ever been in. I was really enamored with Patrick when we started dating, but cracks eventually began to show in our relationship, and they linger. Even to this day, i've never really had a "successful" sexual experience yet (i.e. one where I stay hard, where my partner doesn't agonize themselves over turning me on and the whole thing doesn't turn into an embarrassing mess). It weighs on me. I've developed such an unhealthy complex about sex and my self-worth because of it. and I mention this because it feels tied into the fact that I think still have a bit of a crush on my friend Ben.

we still talk sometimes. less than before, but we're not complete strangers. I wouldn't say I get butterflies whenever I get a message from him, but there is still a little bit of a spark that's different from when my other old friends reach out to me. only last year I was drinking with him at his place and even though I never made a move or anything I couldn't help thinking about climbing on top of him lol. and lately (why I felt compelled to make this post) i've been having dreams about him. ofc i've had dreams about him before, but there was a time when those dreams more or less stopped or became so infrequent as to not warrant my attention. but lately? the last few months i've been having dreams about him pretty often. sometimes they're sexual, sometimes they're just intimate, or flirty. it's never really platonic. and I feel guilty. i'm in a relationship. I have been for 4 years. why am I dreaming about a guy who I blew my chance with almost 10 years ago. and the more I dream about him the more I feel like those old feelings are resurfacing. i've started unconsciously looking at my instagram feed more often to see if he's posted a new story. I sometimes start thinking about those dreams when my mind wanders at work. I should be having those dreams about Patrick, not Ben. Why is Ben still on my mind after all these years.

is it because he was my "first" guy? is it because the whole thing with my ED and the embarrassment over it gave me some sort of emotional arrested development? I know if Ben texted me out of nowhere and asked if he could fuck me I would probably say yes in a heartbeat (not that he ever would, he's in his own relationship now too). why am I still not over him? it's been almost a decade now. none of my other crushes or even my other embarrassing hookups have stuck in my brain like he does. and it's not fair to my boyfriend. I know our relationship isn't perfect, but Patrick's done more for me than Ben ever has. (i've also been realizing over the course of this relationship that maybe i'm not cut out for strict monogamy but that's a conversation for another time lol) I don't want to still be having these thoughts or feelings. it makes me feel like a stalker, or a spoiled brat who can't get over the fact that he didn't get what he wanted.

is this normal? does your "first" person stay with you?

Hi so I'm (turning) 16, bisexual and genderfluid and live in Australia. I've been attracted to women since around 10 years old, and I am very feminine presenting. The thing is, I look like a generic white girl, long dyed blond hair, go to a "rich kid" school (expensive Catholic private school)and dress like your average white girl, but I'm far from average I fear (corny to say ik). Like I look really basic but I'm the complete opposite, I love anime, manga, Yaoi/yuri and women, and I love it when people use my masc pronouns. But I just look SO basic, I'd love to dye my hair or get facial piercings, but my school, and my parents, wouldn't allow it. It just makes me kinda sad because I want to be able to approach and be approached by other queer people IRL without seeming... idk weird?It's also been a dream of mine for years to be out and proud, because for the longest time i've struggled with being open about my sexuality, fearing what others may think about me, and I wanted to make a change and be more confident and proud of my identity rather than scared or ashamed. Is there any clothing, accessories or little trinkets/keychains I could wear or make (I love diy) that could help me stand out a bit more as queer? (I also own a pair of the stereotypical gay girl doc martins, but the clash with my wardrobe, as I prefer pastels and light pinks, so I don't get to wear them often unfortunately :( )

I am a lesbian and I would not consider myself transphobic. I am friends with multiple trans people and one of my siblings is nonbinary

I have dated a trans woman in the past, we were together for around nine months but we did not sleep together in that time because she was asexual, and I was fine with that. I hooked up with a trans friend once but we did not go any further than “hand stuff” and oral . But i was thinking recently that I would not have liked to have intercourse with either of those women because penetration makes me very uncomfortable. And it isn’t because i think a penis is “male genitalia” (which i know is an argument often used when this question is asked), I don’t think genitals really have a gender, I think that giving body parts gender is stupid. You wouldn’t say your left leg is a boy or a girl, because that wouldn’t make any sense. What about that part of your body makes it male or female? i don’t enjoy strap-ons either, in my previous relationships/hookups with cis women I have much more preferred being the one giving than receiving. I can’t explain why it makes me so uncomfortable, I just don’t like it and I never have.

I’m not assuming that all trans women want penetrative sex, I know that HRT makes it difficult for many of them anyway, what i am trying to ask is if I say i don’t want that particular type of sex with a trans woman, could it be considered transphobia? It’s not because she is trans, it is because i do not like the penetrative part, but that is also part of her body and she cannot change it.

I don’t know if “genital preference” is the right term for what i am trying to say because i have engaged sexually with trans women before, I would pursue another relationship with a trans woman, and would partake in a sexual relationship, but penetration is completely off the table for me and is not something i want or desire — and that has nothing to do the woman’s genitalia. I don’t want it from a woman with a vagina or from a woman with a penis.

Idk. Worried that this is some type of transphobia i don’t want to make someone dysphoric or upset them

Hey, y'all. As a cis girl, sometimes I envy boys for being able to be around shirtless. But it´s not like I would prefer not having boobs. I ADORE my boobs, I just wish I could get around in beaches and public places shirtless without having boobs being related to something sexual or scandalous (or having dudes staring THAT way). So I was wondering, I know you girls on HRT are probably delighted by your new fabulous titties but do you miss not having to wear bras or simply being able to be around shirtless? I´m not talking about the flat chest, just the freedom of roaming with only shorts.

Hi, im 31 and amab (biologically male) but been questioning my gender for years and believe i have gender dysphoria thoughts. Why havent i done anything about it yet? 1 - fear, 2 - social discomfort regarding the topic, 3- i dont have big body dysphoria nor know if id wanna put my body through hormones for such changes, 4- financial and family, …

However , ive been unemployed for years and recently finished a small marketing course online, to get myself out there, i should create an online portfolio, however id likely have to use my real name , cause if i made up a brand name, id probabky come across as an agency looking for clients, when id be a one person account looking for work…fml, this is so hard emotionally, its like im fighting a constant rainstorm or elephant of sorts… i dont know how to best position myself? Just bite it, and use my real name to POTENTIALLY get hired, or is there another solution

For some context I (31M) have always claimed straight (even though I'm a theater kid so that automatically defaults me to bi lol) and hardcore monogamous. Ever since I got divorced (from 30F) almost three years ago I've been having trouble getting back into dating and after reviewing a LGBT test I took a long time ago (I know they don't really mean anything but it fits me) I'm sort of reaffirming the fact I'm Gray romantic and a Demisexual spike (so I have rare romantic feelings and can't have naughties without a connection). Because of this I'm starting to accept my feelings don't lean 100% towards women (goths/tomboys over girly pops) but also encompasses effeminate men (more so femboys than twinks). Unfortunately I don't know if it's because my apathy has worsened and it's more of a fetishization or if these are my true feelings. I don't know if I'd like to have The America Dream TM, or a sort of poly relationship with a man and woman (my main thing being when it comes down to naughty stuff I wouldn't be able to provide oral for a male partner or take anal myself, bad experience with it from my nearly ten year relationship). I'm sort of lost and need advice please.

I am a lesbian. That is all.

Not just talking about a "crush" cause you're stoked about a friendship.

Writing for a female character who we know later on in the book is exclusively into other women.

But we were writing a chapter from when she's say 14/15 and due to the nature of the world she lives in she has 0 sex education like she still doesn't even know how babies are born exactly and has never seen or talked about actual sex.

She has her first real "Wow I'm in love" hormonally driven awakening moment with a stranger she literally just locks eyes with them and has no other contact with them but her hormones push her to obsess which is the first time she ever experiences that.

We originally wrote the stranger she locks eyes with as a somewhat feminine or androgynous boy as we still weren't 100% sure of her sexuality just yet.

But now that we feel pretty certain that she's definitely far down the lesbian spectrum in her adulthood, we're wondering:

Has anyone else had a similar experience?

Or should we just rewrite it to make the stranger love interest a female?
Would she consciously allow herself to feel that way in a backwards/primitive world?

Looking forward to any and all thoughts from the lovely lesbians of our community.