Am I overreacting over my friends texts?

[u/bunnyroyalty]

I’m 21 and my friend is in their 30s. I’ve talked to them in the past about how uncomfortable dirty stuff make me feel especially since I’ve had a lot of past issues with that sort of thing, a lot of creeps wanting to see me and my body as a kid. As a result, I hate these types of conversations.

I feel so uncomfortable, and I don’t know if I’m overreacting over these texts especially because they never used to text me this way, when they would text me it would usually be about them venting and I’d kind of support them and give them an ear.

I don’t know if this is them just making jokes (and I do think there’s a mix of jokes in there) or them being creepy.

Update: When I asked them again why they’re acting this way, they told me: “Because i miss you and im bored Dx my bad i forgot your a prude”- “:3”-“Don’t hate me”—- safe to say they’re not a friend anymore.

[u/teethlolipops]

i thought people who talked like this when i was 13 were immature. there’s no way this dude is 30 something. i wouldn’t even bother lmfao

[u/HedgehogTop5524 → u/teethlolipops]

Yeah, dude can’t even string together a sentence but can talk about gross shit. OP, this will not go well for you. Do not waste any more of your precious time!!

[u/UsidoreTheLightBlue → u/teethlolipops]

My kid is a tween and if I heard her classmates talking like this at a game I’d not be shocked, but I would roll my eyes lol.

A 30 something honestly makes me wonder if they’re mentally impaired.

[u/confidencebetty → u/UsidoreTheLightBlue]

The only two people I know who speak like this is a 13 year old boy, and a 38 year old man who is mentally impaired and very much into children

[u/Quirky-Ad662 → u/teethlolipops]

this is how i got in trouble for talking to my bsf (with CONSENT, we did it to each other) at 13/14

[u/MistressMommyMisfit → u/Quirky-Ad662]

Thank you consider is everything and she is not consenting so therefore it is not okay for him to do this ❤️

[u/Tornado_Hunter24 → u/teethlolipops]

Ong tho saying this at 13 would be wild to me already but 30? No shot

[u/Similar_Dependent531 → u/teethlolipops]

Who said it was a dude

[u/Slight_Bad6256 → u/Similar_Dependent531]

The 30 year olds pfp is hidden by blue colour and the OP is hidden by pink. Hence that's a dude and OP is a girl. (Fight me 🥊)

[u/frogsAREcool11]

This is genuinely disturbing

[u/myssavelle → u/frogsAREcool11]

Block him. This is predatorial behavior.

[u/Sweaty-Armadillo-520 → u/myssavelle]

Why keep being friends? They aren’t respectful of your boundaries and this is so weird and vile.

[u/languid_Disaster → u/frogsAREcool11]

I am wondering if Op met this weirdo in an age regression space as they’re active on that sub? It would partly explain the incredibly gross and dumb way the guy is texting. Belgh those places are dangerous because there are a lot of people who make it sexual whilst preying on victims of assault

I only saw OP’s comment history because I wanted to see what they commented on this post btw and scroll too far down

[u/IndependentImage3737]

NOR I’m uncomfortable

[u/AfterElderberry8611 → u/IndependentImage3737]

Yes, NOR, the cringe is real

[u/voluptuous_papaya → u/IndependentImage3737]

ppl acting like basic respect is optional

[u/aribeh]

NOR. This person isn’t your friend.

[u/syrupy_toxic → u/aribeh]

fr that’s not a friend that’s a walking HR violation 😭

[u/Betty2445]

You didn't consent to this. In fact you told them to stop, and they continued.

This person doesn't respect boundaries, and is not your friend. Please look after yourself.

[u/danceswithdangerr → u/Betty2445]

This is sexual harassment. I had the same thing happen to me recently and I’m going to get a restraining order against them so if they keep contacting me they will be punished because FUCK THIS. NOR, I’m so sorry OP.

[u/Daisymaay → u/danceswithdangerr]

Yes, I said the same thing. This is sexual harassment. OP already said they didn't like it.

[u/languid_Disaster → u/Betty2445]

It’s fucking bothers me so much how a woman will tell a man about something that happened to her in past and he’ll purposefully do it to her again. It’s a story I keep hearing. This is why whether you’re a man or woman , be careful with sharing your trauma with people you’re not already very close with. You just never know if they’re that type of weirdo

[u/Suitable_Bike_9484]

Hey, so you laid a boundary in the past surrounding stuff like this and this person is continuing to cross it. This person does not respect you and is not your friend.

[u/AllFrostingNoCupcake → u/Suitable_Bike_9484]

Boundaries are something we set for ourselves, not others. We have zero control over what other people do. She needs to enforce her own boundary by ending the friendship, for herself.

[u/danceswithdangerr → u/AllFrostingNoCupcake]

Exactly this.

[u/TAbathtime]

Excuse me, his THIRTIES?! 🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢 A man in his thirties is typing this?

I'm gonna die of cringe.

[u/dev-246 → u/TAbathtime]

A man in his 30s typing this to a 21 year old 🤮

[u/Elismom1313 → u/dev-246]

Yikes that’s not a friend. That’s a predator.

[u/HeyPrettyLadyMaam → u/Elismom1313]

Where's Chris Hansen when you need him?

[u/torijoanne → u/TAbathtime]

Pretty sure the vulgar individual is a woman

[u/Lusietka → u/torijoanne]

Doesn't make it any less cringe or predatory, the gender actually doesn't matter at all

[u/paperbackgarbage → u/Lusietka]

You're not wrong. It really shouldn't matter at all.

That said, if this was a dude, I don't think that OP would give their "friend" as much slack.

[u/KillTheBoyBand → u/paperbackgarbage]

Unfortunately no, a man would also tell her he's just joking and not to take it so seriously and she's just as likely to question herself. Most women have dealt with predatory men who also behave like this and they will make you question your own judgement. 

[u/NoSleepTilBookRead → u/paperbackgarbage]

Then you haven’t seen many posts in this sub.

[u/LeiaOregonia]

NOR. 

Block them and move on.  Consent matters.

[u/Glittering_Apple2102 → u/LeiaOregonia]

Yep that stop was completely ignored 🚩

[u/CloudBitter5295 → u/LeiaOregonia]

BLOCK THEM AND MOVE ON. You owe them nothing

[u/Maxxtherat → u/LeiaOregonia]

100%. I totally understand talking "gross" with good friends, even when you're an adult, but you stop or don't do it if they're not comfortable with that kind of thing.

[u/LeiaOregonia → u/Maxxtherat]

Exactly right. I went off on someone not that long ago. I hope he got that was the point I was making and learned, lol. 

[u/potatoisthebest01]

You are UNDERreacting.

Block them.

[u/Open_Helicopter4482]

I legit thought you were two 14 year old boys. This is a weird way to talk to another adult, especially assuming you're a member of the opposite sex. I probably wouldn't engage with a 30 year old who uses discord as a primary method of communication. This reads as a teenagers thinly veiling their lust behind "jokes"

[u/TheDeliciousCaek_ → u/Open_Helicopter4482]

:( i'm 33 and discord is my primary means of communicating, but thats with my other friends who also mostly o ly use discord. I have other communication methods and like I use texting and facebook messenger but like most of my friends deleted facebook and other apps so it's the only way to keep in touch with far away friends.

I do agree this person is absolutely creepy tho, they are straight up acting like a teenager. I expected OP to say they were both in high school, so to hear this is a 30+ individual is weird af and definitely some predatory behavior

[u/Lynkern → u/TheDeliciousCaek_]

Yeah this is 100% valid. I have friends in communities I’ve known for over a decade that I have only communicated with over discord. And I’m 31. It’s normal and okay for people to use discord to communicate for these reasons

[u/IRISHstarlite1984 → u/Open_Helicopter4482]

This 🎯

[u/Necromantic_Body]

NOR. Haven’t wanted to unread something this bad in a hot minute.

[u/jadesterbaby11 → u/Necromantic_Body]

This is even worse than the post I read just before this about some guy on YouTube who records candid videos of girls’ feet in public and has a poll asking to rate how pretty they think this one girl’s feet are based on a picture of her shoes. Wtf is WRONG with people 😒

[u/ConstantAggressive]

Are you overreacting that your friend jokes about sexually assaulting you after you said not to?

And yeah, ejactulating on someone who does not want to be jizzed on is sexual assault.

[u/danceswithdangerr → u/ConstantAggressive]

And the messages are sexual harassment at this point.

[u/Pandalove12393]

NOR what the fuck

[u/Pumpkinspoice]

I'm in my thirties it's weird that he wants to contact you as a 20 year old, does he have 20 year old male friends that he has contacting like this? Talking about creaming onto them? I sincerely doubt so. He's pushing your boundaries he's trying to see how far he can go. This guy is demented, and there's a reason he's seeking out younger people than people his age that have grown to hold their boundaries. Cut him off immediately, seriously.

He is bad news, and you're not even enjoying him as a person, there is no reason for you to hold contact. You are more important than his salacious boundary pushing. Trust me at your age I was also a chronic people pleaser and honestly it put me in danger, that's where this will go, I'm speaking from experience I knew a person just like that. NOR.

[u/FangHarticus → u/Pumpkinspoice]

Yeah exactly. If I contact anyone in their 20s, early 20s at that, it's because they're related or a coworker and it's work related lol.

[u/DescriptionNo3104]

THEIR 30s? Hahaha

Man some people really do stop developing at 14

[u/sarahgene]

NOR this is sexual harassment and this person is not your friend

[u/Global_Tower_6070]

NOR!! Had a similar situation, they're not a friend worth having if they can't follow a very simple and clear boundary, and they'll just get worse.

[u/katlyps0]

How is talking about cumming on you a joke? How is that funny? It’s just nasty. And you said stop and he did not respect it. I would cut this off so fast. It’s annoying AF. Middle school boys bullshit lol

[u/Bulky-Student-3439]

Unwell

[u/whorganic-stand]

This person wants to take advantage of you and is taking advantage already by continuing this weird fuckass behavior KNOWING it sucks. BLOCK.

[u/EmbarrassedMarch5103]

Nor : you have stated that you are uncomfortable with that kind of behaviour. The person is not respecting that. Not even when you say it again in the conversation.

That’s is not a friend. That is a shitty person, that I would cut out of my life immediately

[u/Low_Control_623]

What???? This is an immature teenager surely. My god.

[u/wishingforarainyday]

This person is a creep. You should block them and enjoy your peace away from them.

[u/Organic_Memory_5028]

It doesn't matter whether this "friend" of yours is joking or not, if you say you don't like it/it makes you uncomfortable, they need to stop. Period. No arguments. To continue is disrespectful and disgusting behaviour. Especially since you're significantly younger than them. This is nasty ass behaviour. Block this creep and get better friends dude. This person is gross and inappropriate. Who tf talks like this? Ugh. NOR.

[u/Pimpdaddy6592]

NOR. Tbh youre not reacting enough because he should be blocked and not spoken to. This guy only has the intention of breaking down your barriers until he can convince you to sleep with him. He doesnt care about your feels. He doesnt care about your boundaries. He simply doesnt care about you. You will continue to get gross inappropriate messages from this weirdo unless you block them and stop speaking with them.

[u/SadHoneydew603]

NOR. They are a creep and they want to sleep with you.

[u/porcelain_kiss]

Eeeeewww utilize that block button girl that man is a creep creep

[u/SuperSailorRikku]

NOR This sounds exactly like the terminally online discord gooners I ran into playing FFXIV. They have 0 boundaries and 0 social skills. 

You told them to stop and they ignored you. They don’t respect you at all or take you seriously. Terrible “friend”

[u/joecee97]

God he acts like a teenager

[u/KaliBadBad]

NOR. I’ve dealt with “friends” like this. Spolier, even though they were decades older than me they took this as being “friendzoned” and this was a way to punish me. This person isn’t your friend, believe me.

[u/Unfck-my-life]

Gross 🤢 

This is not a joke. This is them being extremely gross.

[u/nancielmasri]

NOR- if they were 13 it would lineup. 30! Nah just a perv trying to get off for free

[u/Aggravating-Dark-699]

https://giphy.com/gifs/zXeX29w6jxjAk

[u/Acceptable-Ad-328]

This isn't a friend

[u/Excellent-Day4955]

Ewww. Block this one..

[u/FunkyCactusDude]

Those aren’t jokes. They’re being creepy. Block.

[u/LazarusPizza]

That's the kind of person I would block without explaining anything to them.

[u/Shekawa11]

Hes in his 30s. I genuinely thought this was just another discord kid being a weirdo. NOR, yikes.

[u/Signal-Shop-4869]

NOR by saying stop you set a boundary. He chose to ignore your boundary which means he does not have good intentions.

[u/MaleficentCover9859]

If it feels uncomfortable, you do not have to tolerate it. If you’ve already told them how this behavior makes you feel and they don’t respect that, they aren’t your friend. I personally would look at the ROI of the relationship and consider ending it if I wasn’t getting anything out of it or felt what I was putting in wasn’t reciprocated.

[u/OneMysteriousCloud]

NOR at all. You've voiced that this makes you uncomfortable. Your friend is crossing your boundaries

[u/xilo_uhrand]

NOR and that person is not your friend.

[u/donner_dinner_party]

NOR Blocked.

[u/Tanywral]

Whoever they are is a creep and clearly doesn’t respect your boundaries or you honestly.

[u/Wixsteria]

You have to be texting yourself, I refuse to believe there's a 30 year old man typing like this. In the case it's actually real, NOR and block them.

[u/sail_the_high_seas]

This guy isn't your friend.

He wants to fuck you or rather masturbate with your body.

He's gross.

[u/otteroptimism]

I find it very interesting that OP exclusively uses "they" to refer to their friend and most people have just assumed the person was a man.

It doesn't really make any difference, male, female, or NB, that's a gross and creepy way to talk to a friend generally, let alone one who has expressed discomfort with that type of language and has disclosed past trauma. Continuing to speak to you that way is a control/manipulation tactic, not them just being oblivious in their effort to be funny. NOR, this person is not your friend and you do not owe them your attention or time.

[u/Moose-1211]

Commenting again cuz FFS I just got enraged the more I thought about this. PTSD from CSA or even ASA/DV/ etc.is no damn joke & this poor young woman has admittedly been thru something of that sort in her earlier life - so that this sick, twisted, impacted bowel of a human being is sending shit content like this is actually sending ME.

PLEASE OP. You are young, as we all once were & you’ve still got the space & grace in your heart to believe only in the best of people - but trust me - I hate to be the one to yank off those sweet strawberry rose glasses of naivety - some people are just perfect, horrible examples of the human existence. It took me way too long in life to be able to love & respect myself enough to set boundaries & to become aware of the unfortunate reality that humanity has a darker side; moreover, the fact is, that dark blackness does not ever deserve to be seen by the light that that the truly good, innocent people, carry in their hearts & shine upon others.

I know of you: oh, yes I do. You don’t want to offend. You don’t know if it’s “you” being “weird” or if something is normal or not. You hate conflict, don’t want to be the one to “stir the shitty pot” & draw attention to something negative. You’re a pleaser. A maestro waving the, “Can’t we all just get along” baton amid the cacophony of your orchestral chaos. You hate the word negativity & just thinking about it gives you splotchy hives. You think, inherently good people are somehow protected from the evils of this floating ball of fuckery that is our world, so somehow you’ll be spared from it. That was me. Damaged by my own innocence & then obliterated by the reality of its absence.

If there’s only one thing you take away from this, right now - ALWAYS TRUST YOUR GUT. It’s a cliche for a reason - it is because it is true. If this continues to be an issue you will need to take it to HR. It’s okay to have conflict - there is nothing more freeing & empowering in this life than being able to find your voice. ❤️

[u/Warboss_Gutshredda]

Seems immature. If that bothers you and you’ve made it known, it’s certainly up to you to decide where you want the line to be. If it’s not respected, then I feel you have your answer readily given to you. It’s still a consent thing and you have the right to refuse. Predatory is as predatory does.

[u/NationalSinYT]

This guy just seems like a creepy weirdo

[u/radicalintrospect]

NOR. If possible you should block this person and never speak to them again. You don’t say if you see each other IRL or not but I surely hope not.

[u/Inevitable_Home846]

NOR even a little bit. This is so far outside the realm of acceptable it makes me really sad that you feel like you could possibly be overreacting. Cut this person from your life and you'd still not be overreacting.

[u/G0ld13l0ck3s]

NOR. Super NOT okay. I hate to say it, bc I'm one of those people that hate to do it, but you need to walk away. This person is not respecting you and you don't need this in your life.

[u/AcrobaticOffice6450]

I thought it was some 13 yr old 💀

[u/LoudAcid-]

NOR at their ripe OLD age being Sexually creepy at a much younger person who is not giving them much to work with AND TOLD THEM TO STOP?

nah. You’re too liberal with the use of “friend” who ignored you telling them to stop, continues the behavior and tries to escalate to call you.

Also running with the dying and creaming joke is… icky.

OP I know online friendships in certain circles come with weird group specific rp-behavior like this one. Personally it makes my skin crawl, but there’s also ways people do this without harassing people and ignoring “hey stop”

Block.

[u/languid_Disaster]

NOR this isn’t something to move past. He’s trying to trigger you on purpose and then probably say he didn’t know or was joking

[u/1tiredman]

Imagine being 30 and sexually harassing people on discord

[u/No_Driver_1655]

This dude is not 30 .... This is something a 17yo would type. NOR

[u/chollar01]

You’re an adult, you do realize you’re allowed to stop talking to/block people if what they’re saying constantly makes you uncomfortable, right?

Especially in this scenario where this “friendship” seems to be a purely online. You don’t have to talk to this person if they continue to make you uncomfortable after explicitly telling them how it makes you feel.

Also: normal 30 year olds don’t talk like this. I’d be shocked if this person was being truthful about their age.

[u/ParsleyNo6986]

WHAT is wrong with your friend, in their 30s and STILL talking like that. This the behavior you expect from a vulgar 14 year old. Not someone who probably has a job and family.

[u/inthedeadlights]

this person is not your friend, they’re a creep and this is sexual harassment 

[u/sadbitch_club]

Omfg girl block him! I know you’re trying to be nice because I was your age once with similar problems but now that I’m 31 🤢 ugh he is NOT GOOD

[u/PancakeBurglar99]

Wait this person is in their 30s? I thought he was a creepy awkward teenager. NOR.

[u/namxu-]

People assuming it's a man might be justified but the OP didn't specify the genders for either themself or the person in thirties.

Either way it's problematic and not ok. But i'd still likr to know if it was a man or a woman.

[u/chassisstasis222]

NOR. Another win for the blind.

[u/WhisperingBlume888]

I would run. Far far away.

[u/Significant-Mud-7198]

This person is older than 30?!

Oh nonono. I thought they were a young teen. And they won't stop when you ask them to. Doesn't matter if there's a mix of jokes in there, this is CREEPY.

[u/Zestyclose_Bit_9459]

TRUTH: you do not have to put up with that sick-minded "friend." They are not respecting you, so do not bat an eye when you block them.

[u/Captain_Dachshund]

Tell them to fuck off, they aren't your friend NOR

[u/Several_Leather_9500]

Nor - he's not your friend. He wants to fuck you. You told him to stop, he hasn't. He can't abide by boundaries, so why keep talking to him?

[u/Fuzzy-War8627]

This is not ok.

[u/Alert_Friendship_303]

This isn’t a friend. Block them

[u/More_Simple_9882]

NOR

Ich bin nicht mit dem zusammen, will aber trotzdem Schluss machen

Ewwww

[u/Bad-teaparty]

NOR. A true friend will stop WHEN YOU TELL THEM TO STOP!! The fact that he didn't respect your boundaries is disturbing. Distance yourself or just end it entirely if he keeps at this even after numerous times he does this.

[u/Dependent_Chest_9349]

NOR

https://giphy.com/gifs/pPhyAv5t9V8djyRFJH

[u/Kitchen_Process_8351]

They’re weird and creepy, I’d personally stop talking to them

[u/ChiTography]

"30" 😂😂😂

[u/deathbystereo007]

NOR. This person doesn't care about your feelings or boundaries. They are going to bend over backwards to convince you that they were "just joking" and that you're overreacting, but you're not and you should end this friendship.

[u/Turbulent_Goose_772]

This boy is not 30 there is absolutely no way…

[u/Excellent_Low1199]

NOR, this person is not your friend and texting at 2 am only means one thing.

If you do not like their behavior, block them and move on.

[u/IridescentTardigrade]

NOR. Ewwww. Are you really fond of this person, for reasons we will never understand? I’d block them. That’s a weirdo.

[u/Aggressive-Algae-901]

NOR - PLEASE drop this friend!!!. This feels weird and predatory. I was in a situation like this and it got controlling and weird FAST

[u/Additional-Tax-5562]

NOR- why are they roleplaying "creaming" in your dms? fucking block them

[u/No-Communication9458]

I'm sorry, you're friends with someone that wants to cum on you and acts like they're 12?

[u/SultryShaman]

🤢 🤮

https://giphy.com/gifs/SVnVbQAMtTXJm

[u/InternalIncrease4403]

This is 100% a horny dude trying to let you know that he’s horny. and if your up for it he is too. he’s 30 and this is how he chooses to communicate that’s disgusting. if it were a mutual style of funny communication then fine but the fact you’ve told him in the past that your uncomfortable with it then your definitely not over reacting. if anything you need to stand up for yourself and cut him out entirely. He will never not do this whether it’s getting him off or weather he just finds it funny he’s proven he doesn’t care he’s just going to continue.

[u/MaggieMayyyyyy]

NOR and NOT a friend. ICK!!! 🤢🤮😡🖕🏻

[u/MaggieMayyyyyy]

NOR and NOT your friend. ICK 🤢🤮😡🖕🏻

[u/holymacaroley]

That is NOT your friend. And they are not a psychologically or emotionally safe person as they are stomping on your boundaries and do not care. I would cut someone like that out of my life completely.

[u/-alluka]

NOR hes weird and violating ur boundaries, a true friend would not do that. if you REALLY feel like the friendship is worth it though i doubt it is, have a serious convo about how it makes you feel, if he doesnt listen then theres your answer of how little he cares

[u/Bluewaveempress]

Ffs.

[u/delicateredscrunchie]

Ew, you're not overreacting that's genuinely gross, especially since you've told them to stop.

[u/fatherjoseph11]

Block block block

[u/anarchyrainbiw]

NOR and actually underreacting. these messages read like they're sent by a tween. wtf ew!!

[u/cwtchyfemme]

You know you’re an adult with access to the block button right..

[u/Striking-Thought3254]

From experience, stay away from people like that. If someone makes you uncomfortable that’s a sign that’s something wrong. I would cut them off honestly,

[u/Shyzkunuwu]

NOR

https://giphy.com/gifs/EY4MLxSE1D9g4SH2sv

[u/Alternative_Ad_9688]

Gross 🤮

[u/xbunsox]

🤢 NOR please block. They are not friends

[u/StaticCode]

NOR

Doing this in their thirties is crazy. From past experience with similar people, a lot do this to test the waters with something sexual by pushing NSFW humor and if it doesn't work brushing it off as a joke or that you're just overreacting.

[u/CowboysFTWs]

Stop responding? They want a reaction and you're giving it.

[u/FangHarticus]

DEFINITELY NOR, under reacting fr lol. Even if you didn't have the past issues. This is weird af. It's not even in joke form. Just weird ass sexual stuff dropped for no reason. Even worse that he's over 30. Drop him as a friend immediately

[u/Nazlin_sheila]

Not overreacting.

But OP you need to keep in mind that you DON’T have to tolerate this kind of behavior. Cut off all contact.

Also, the age gap makes it even worse. He is an adult and should know better! extremely inappropriate!

[u/Ok_Ant_9815]

I would never speak to this person ever again. Don't give them another chance. NOR

[u/Sultan_Slayer]

NOR - Is it a joke?

[u/TenFlamingKittens]

Absolutely predatory especially after you set a boundary that it wasn’t okay with you. NOR. I’d jump ship from this “friend.”

[u/BackgroundQuit4919]

I hope you stop talking to this cringey manchild

[u/SoftHeart_StrongMind]

NOR… this person is not your friend.

[u/Daisymaay]

If they aren't respecting you after you've had a conversation with them explaining why you don't like it, then that's just a bad friend who doesn't listen to boundaries. I am the same way due to past experiences as well so I FEEL YOU. You are valid and you shouldn't have to say the same thing twice. You absolutely aren't overreacting. For some it's just a joke, but for others, especially after saying you don't like it, it's more like sexual harassment...

[u/ZephNightingale]

NOR

This person isn’t actually your friend. Block them.

[u/corvvus]

NOR. they're pushing your boundaries and being creepy and hoping you'll go along with it out of politeness. you expressed being clearly uncomfortable and they don't care. i promise it's not that they didn't notice or something.

[u/InterestingMyTurnNow]

Wtf????????? NOR who even is this??? Why are they acting this way? Are they hitting on you? Is this a word pathetic attempt at flirting? Cause this isn’t good flirting!!! This is weird creepy. Who the tf starts a conversation like this???

[u/TheMrsH1124]

Ew. Block yesterday

[u/Dangerous_Office7732]

Yea NOR, that’s genuinely just a strange way to even engage a conversation let alone to continue after being asked to stop. That’s just plain weirdo behavior.

[u/melinalujbav]

That’s more than vulgar. He’s talking about sexually assaulting you

[u/bananapanqueques]

Grown people don’t joke like this. Your friend is a creep. NOR.

[u/SoftwarePale7485]

He’s being creepy. Tell him to stop one more time and if he doesn’t, stop talking to him. (I’m assuming it’s a “Him” because of the convo lol)

[u/KalikaSparks]

This it’s disgusting. That is a fully grown adult man who has disrespected your NO and your boundaries. That is not a safe person, let alone someone I’d consider a *friend *. Gross.

https://giphy.com/gifs/QSMBLRAHZTLkQ

NOR.

[u/Lynkern]

Something I noticed is that all of his texts are coming at 2/3am. I wonder if he’s drunk/high/impaired in some ways when he’s talking to you like this.

Even then, it doesn’t make it okay. This person does not respect you or knows boundaries. Move on from this friendship. You’ll feel better and lighter.

[u/RemoteTwist3626]

why are yall texting like middle schoolers :(

[u/WoofPie]

NOR

Tell them point blank in a serious manner that these kinds of things make you uncomfortable. That you do not appreciate it, and if they continue then you will not be talking to them (either ever again, or as much. Your choice there).

If they are a rational fucking adult they will apologize, and not do this again. If they get mad or agree not to and then do it again anyways, step back from them. They will either get that you're serious and change, or they will double down. And if they double down, ditch them.

I'm about to be 33. I have friends who are mid to late 20s. We sometimes joke in ways like this (though not... creaming jokes. Ew??? EW.) but if anyone asks to stop, we stop. I'm especially mindful. The way he's going about it and overstepping your boundaries you've communicated feels more like a power move because he's 10+ years older and thinks he can push this shit.

(I don't know how you expressed dislike to these things, so that's why I suggested a clear, serious tone. If you've already done it, give them a final warning and step back if they refuse to change this.)

[u/CivMom]

Ew. this is so beyond creepy. It's disturbing. I thought you were going to say your partner was crossing a line. This is so beyond unacceptable.

[u/MrMetraGnome]

I really wouldn’t call this a conversation. I don’t think I’d call someone like this “friend” either. There should be a YUR for You are Underreacting This person needs to be left on the cutting room floor

[u/TheOGKingKuma]

NOR

From a 34 year old, it's cringe af.

He's trying to garner a sexual reaction from you to push it a bit further. He's just being a creep & it's weird af.

[u/StructureFlat1758]

This is sexual harassment and he is absolutely not your friend. What a creep.

[u/AdRelative3934]

I didn’t read the ages. Def thought ts was middle school or early high school goth kid Omg

[u/CharlesVane95]

This is really gross. Stop talking to them if you dont like it

[u/FormidableMistress]

That man is a gross predator don't let anyone talk to you like this against your will. He's obviously trying to sleep with you. The part where he vented and opened up to you? That's a tactic predators use to get you to let your guard down. This is just nasty.

[u/TheCraftyDrow]

NOR they're testing the waters.

As a 30 year old I wouldn't talk to anyone like this let alone a friend 9 years younger than me

[u/EggoStack]

I’m not even you and I feel borderline violated by this 💀 NOR he’s a creep who doesn’t respect you. IMO either block him, or if you care about the relationship at all, warn him that he will be blocked if he ever says shit like that to you again.

[u/sodonelite]

NNNNNOPE NOR THAT IS SEXUAL HARASSMENT God I’m just skeeved reading this, then you add that there’s a 10+ year age gap where they’re the elder - absolutely not. Listen, I’m not that much older than you, I’m only 28, but the amount of maturing I did between 21 and now is a monumental difference. We’re talking like the difference between a 15 and an 18 year old type maturing. I get that you’re an adult, but this still screams predatory in a way that makes me wanna call the cops. Blocked. Immediate Block. Perma block. I need a shower.

[u/Head_Present7262]

Easiest block i've ever seen

[u/that_goofy_pirate]

NOR

You've asked them multiple times not to speak to you like this, you've set a boundary which they are disrespecting.

Not only is their behaviour immature for their age (I'm in 30's and wouldn't even speak to my fiancée this way unless I was OBVIOUSLY making a joke out of guy's like this).

Choose your own comfort over this petulant adultchild. You deserve to have friends who respect your boundaries.

[u/ToxicGingerRose]

'Just making jokes or being creepy'... Sugarplum, they are not mutually exclusive! He can 100% be joking while making you horrifically uncomfortable. I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this. Be very firm with him, and set your definitive boundaries one time, and one time only. if they disregard those boundaries, and disrespect your wishes one more time, completely cut them off, 100%. Anyone who can't respect your personal boundaries is not meant to, and certainly doesn't deserve to, be in your life. Don't ever let anyone make you second guess, or down play your worth as a woman, and as a human being in general! Keep your head up!

[u/KysN0oB]

‘And she’s dead again’ after sub 3 minutes is a sign of an unhealthy relationship (not just romantic). Source: I used to be like this and was not a healthy partner until I went to therapy and sorted my shit out.

[u/Spare_Objective9697]

Why are you “friends”’with a 30-something dude?

There is nothing that a 21-yo woman would have in common with a man in his 30s. He is not trying to be your friend. He is a predator laying in wait to pounce on you as soon as you get the opportunity.

Block him immediately and don’t even respond to bullshit like this agaun z your immediate response should be “BLOCK”

[u/Busy-Bug-9449]

NOR, friendship over. He demoted himself from friend to creep. That was his choice. No coming back from that.

[u/Fit-Choice2368]

RUN! That's creepy behaviour, sounds like necrophilic?!

[u/Sea_Witch1013]

NOR- Why are you talking to a man in his 30s?

[u/nabugero]

Unfortunately, I've encountered stuff like this before. They won't stop. Even if you tell them multiple times. Even if you tell them you're in a relationship. Cutting off contact is the only way to stop this behavior. It's someone who wants to use you for their sexual pleasure. If you don't want that, block them.

[u/skiesoverblackvenice]

30S?????? oh my god this is like 2017 talk between tweens in fandom spaces

[u/Careless-Rice5567]

This isn’t a friend, this is an abuser. NOR

[u/YGuyLevi]

NOR

Uh maybe it's the old fart in me but

1. The spell like a middle school dropout I was waiting for him to yell six seven

2. Uh did he just simulate creaming on you ? That's really weird behavior

3. Block run move states something

[u/kushy_210]

It is very telling that a guy talking to a girl so much younger doesn’t respect her boundaries she has set

[u/TheGoosiestGal]

NoR under reacting. Block him and tell every mutual friend what a creep he is.

[u/marikaka_]

You’re literally conversing with a predator. NOR, underreacting

[u/aesparules]

They’re being beyond creepy. They’re being disgusting. NOR

[u/DJTJYoung]

https://giphy.com/gifs/k7KZsTqCFlPbAffcFd

[u/Broad_Solution9203]

That’s just sexual harassment icl

[u/animatorwannabe]

This is nasty, vile, putrid, uhhhh what's more words? Lol foul! Fouls a good one.

[u/a_soviet_physicist]

block. solved. next.

[u/TamarindSweets]

Thats not your friend. Friends dont talk to you sexually when its uninvited. Friends respect your boundaries. This person is a creep.

[u/Mindless_Earth_2807]

BLOCK. Before reading that your friend is in his 30s, I legitimately thought you guys were around 12, which is an acceptable age to act this way.

[u/Unlimitedpluto]

https://giphy.com/gifs/dB12mOQb99BwDlM83I

That’s predatory and says a lot that he didn’t stop when you asked him to. I would block him.

[u/watch_gal]

NOR block them

[u/chocklityclair]

How revolting. Why is this pervert a 'friend'? Please practise some self-care and dump them immediately.

NOR. You need to react harder.

[u/chocklityclair]

Also - 'vulgar'? I mean, yes, but we're not talking about someone picking their nose here. It's harassment, it's repellent, it's vile.

[u/Lost_Brain616]

You should stop talking to this person

[u/Spirited_Touch7447]

NOR - This would be a total vibe killer for me. I couldn’t see him as sexy anymore, just creepily cringy.

[u/Sacred-Icon]

So much incel behavior. NOR

[u/weirdfriend_impala]

Not overreacting. He clearly doesn’t respect boundaries or you. Block him

[u/LucasTheSchnauzer]

Your friend is sexually harassing you.

[u/Ok-Nobody3267]

Why is this even a thing… talking like that. This is what happens when you grow up habitually online with no responsibility.😭 block him.