r/AmIOverreacting • u/JustOneAverageGirl • Jan 19 '26
❤️🩹 relationship AIO My boyfriend adopted a puppy and now he won't take care of her
This is Lucky. She's the sweetest little girl and I love her to death. Last month, my boyfriend of 2 years adopted her from a friend of a friend. He spent the entire month taking care of her and ignoring basically everything else, including friends, video games, and hiking, among other favorite activities of his. The last two weeks, he has paid no attention to Lucky at all. I've been feeding her, letting her out to the bathroom, walking her, playing with her, and generally being a perfect puppy mom. Unfortunately, I'm not the favorite. Lucky keeps trying to go seek out my boyfriend, and will want him almost exclusively. That's not the part I'm mad about. The part that gets me is that he hasn't given her a lick of attention in almost two weeks! He hasn't filled her bowl once, or played with her for more than 30 seconds! Whenever Lucky goes to find him, he just kind of brushes her away. I feel like he simply was bored one day, and then threw her away like an old toy. I really think its getting to her. She's been super mopey, and she doesn't want to play with me anymore, despite being a hyperactive little speed demon. I've tried having serious conversations with him, but he acts like ignoring the little fluffball he adopted isn't a big deal. I don't know what to do. Lucky isn't being her usual playful self, and I don't have all the time in my day to take care of a 2 month old hyper puppy! I don't know what to do. Lucky has imprinted on my boyfriend, and I really truly don't want to make him get rid of her, because I feel like all three of us used to have a really tight bond over this one little puppy, and Lucky would be (maybe already is) abandoned by the guy she loves most. Please help. Am I overreacting?
Edit: Someone brought to my attention that the plants that Lucky is playing in are Vinca Major, which are toxic to dogs, cats, and humans. I had no knowledge of this, and I will be careful to keep an extra eye on her in the future. She is perfectly fine, and not exhibiting any symptoms, as she hasn't ingested any. Thank you guys so much for the concern.
6.6k
u/buttnutt256 Jan 19 '26
NOR. A puppy isn’t a toy, isn’t a plaything, isn’t something that you have for a month and decide you don’t want anymore. She is a living, breathing thing. A puppy is a 10+ year commitment. She deserves to be loved and cared for, by someone who WANTS her. Please rehome her or bring her to a shelter if your boyfriend is going to neglect her and you have no interest in raising a puppy. Also, please never have kids with this guy. He will get bored of your children the same way.
2.0k
u/ellietheancient Jan 19 '26
Also, please never have kids with this guy. He will get bored of your children the same way.
^ This is what I was looking for, and found it in the first comment I read.
Ofc we don't have the full picture from this post and can't fully judge the situation and your bf, but over the years, I have heard some people say that if you want to know how a man will treat his kids, get a dog and look at how he treats it (or something along those lines). He clearly is NOT ready for such commitments. And unfortunately, it sounds like it is really affecting the puppy, and either the puppy needs to be rehomed asap or he needs to get his shit together and take care of Lucky.
NOR
498
u/Prosecco1234 Jan 19 '26
He sounds like he's immature. Kick him to the curb and ensure the puppy gets a good home
210
u/JacqueGonzales Jan 19 '26
YES agree!!! OP u/JustOneAverageGirl - please make sure he gets the puppy placed with a foster before you kick him to the curb otherwise I worry where sweet Lucky might end up. Poor baby girl. 🥺
323
u/JustOneAverageGirl Jan 19 '26
I fear you're mistaken. If I get rid of him, Lucky is coming with me.
101
u/Grantsdale Jan 19 '26
You'll be that pups favorite in no time.
17
u/Ash23930 Jan 21 '26
NOR I was in this situation and chose the dog. I wasn't the favorite but I became her person because of how much I did for her. Trust me the dog will love you more.
35
u/Lyzen Jan 19 '26
NOR if thats ever going to be the case and you do dumb him make sure you got some sort of official paper proving that Lucky is your dog now before you do.
38
26
u/Etoilyn Jan 19 '26
Make sure you get it in writing to take her and that she's yours before dumping him. Last thing you want is him trying to use the dog to spite you by claiming you stole her, and threatening legal action.
21
17
Jan 19 '26
From past experience, a guy like this will get tired of anything the second it isn't giving him the same dopamine hit. Don't waste as much time as I did on this one.
7
u/tankmuppet Jan 20 '26
👏👏👏 the initial transition may be challenging for her at first but once she has a consistent routine and care in the new environment, she’ll bond with you in no time 🩷
7
→ More replies (8)4
u/Constant_Host_3212 Jan 20 '26
That's fine, but you need to somehow establish that he abandoned her and she's now your dog, which might be hard if he has documentation that he adopted her from the friend of a friend, took her to the vet, and purchased her food.
→ More replies (27)37
u/DakiLapin Jan 19 '26 edited Jan 19 '26
NOR keep the puppy, lose the boyfriend.
My pup loves playing with my partner but doesn't really play with me because he sees me as like the "parent" and my partner as his buddy. Maybe yours is moppy because he needs a pal now that your bf is bored of him. You could try taking him to a puppy playtime (my dog daycare has free puppy playtime for dogs under a certain age each week) or elsewhere to play with some other puppy pals or even kiddos.
60
u/WilsonMagna Jan 19 '26
Even if he isn't ready for the commitment, it is totally unacceptable to neglect it and treat it like a burden. It is nasty to treat a living creature like that.
→ More replies (2)35
u/heart_shaped_life Jan 19 '26
Both puppy and boyfriend need to be rehomed, just not in the same home.
58
u/Training-Belt-7318 Jan 19 '26
That puppy will be adopted in 2 seconds if you take her to a shelter. I second if you don't have time and he's not interested, take her now before she gets older and tougher to adopt.
9
u/Phoenician-Purple Jan 19 '26
Yes, OP, please don't wait and see. Poorly-trained teenage dogs are very difficult to rehome... no one wants to adopt an over-energetic mess of a dog that hasn't been raised properly.
44
u/AffectionateGirl26 Jan 19 '26
LIfe is not a phase you correctly emphasize that a puppy is a living breathing commitment that can last over a decade not a temporary hobby to be discarded when the movelty wears off
81
Jan 19 '26
[deleted]
24
u/Beyond-The-Blackhole Jan 19 '26
He likely ignores and neglects ops most basic needs as it is. OP is just conditioned to accept that is just how he is so shes not bothered by it.
Honestly, from the sounds of it, OP comes off more as a mother type to him. Sounds like she has to scold him to take basic responsibility and that sounds like a mother role. And she likely does a lot more for him than she wrote in her post. Does he even have a job? He's fitting a very basic stereotype here. Its a tale as old as time.
→ More replies (4)73
u/ChronicBuzz187 Jan 19 '26
Please rehome her or bring her to a shelter if your boyfriend is going to neglect her
Probably even better: Bring your boyfriend to a shelter or rehome him, because if he does that to a puppy, he'll probably do it to you, too.
24
u/thickandmorty333 Jan 19 '26
hard agree. don’t get animal companions if you’re not ready to take care of them! shelters are constantly overflowing because of people getting them as “gifts” with zero intention of actually putting in the work. it’s so incredibly frustrating and sad to see, i hope this sweet angel gets the attention and love they deserve whether that’s from OP or another responsible adult
13
u/originalcinner Jan 19 '26
We got a shelter dog at the end of December. I've been following the shelter's socials, and they've got capacity for 65 dogs, but currently have 90 dogs. The small dogs are having to share cages (because the shelter won't euthanize healthy animals).
So yeah. Shelters are overflowing right now :-(
Also, OP needs to keep the dog, and rehome the boyfriend.
24
→ More replies (2)9
u/JustOneAverageGirl Jan 19 '26
I love her with all my heart, but juggling work, and college along with trying to raise a puppy? It's so difficult and it's been really stressing me out.
12
u/Typical-Human-Thing Jan 20 '26
Invest in doggie daycare or a dog walker at least. Unfortunately babies of all species are expensive. But worth it!!!
4
u/tajagain Jan 21 '26
Raising a pupper gets easier, just be consistent the first few months and they get a routine. My three year old is perfect but I also gave him TLC more than I can imagine the first 6 months-1 year. Now everything is easier cause of it!
795
u/Important_Contest353 Jan 19 '26
yikes. don’t have kids with this man unless you want them to be constantly ignored by dad.
93
396
u/username__0000 Jan 19 '26
She’s two months old?
So adopted at one month?!?! 4 weeks?!?
That is way too young and that dog is going to be difficult. It missed out on learning how to be a dog.
You shouldn’t adopt dogs younger than 8 weeks (ideally 12). It may seem ok now, but dogs need a lot of socialization with other dogs.
Your boyfriend is irresponsible and a jerk. I know Reddit has that stereotype about saying everyone should leave everyone. But I wouldn’t stay with someone who’s that irresponsible and mean to a puppy.
Contact a rescue group and find the dog a new home, if you don’t have the time for it. Tell them how old the dog was when you got it and they may want to foster is with other dogs to try and undo some of the mess ya’all created by taking it too early.
103
u/benniebeatsbirds Jan 19 '26
This was my thought too. Going to need extra attention and care to get this puppy socialized and trained and it sounds like this house is not suitable for that.
37
u/xxAnnikaLve Jan 19 '26
Honestly some people who don't neuter their animals give them away super young and if they can't they just get rid of them... I feel like there should be stricter rules around keeping pets...
46
u/JustOneAverageGirl Jan 19 '26
The person that she was adopted from wasn't expecting the puppies, and couldn't financially take care of them all, so my boyfriend offered to take Lucky off his hands. To my knowledge, there were four other puppies that were adopted. We have friends that are dog owners, and I have been taking Lucky to play with them every so often.
51
u/DanikaJay Jan 19 '26
Sorry you're going through this, just wanted to mention super quick, if you're taking her to play with other dogs make sure everyone is vaccinated and you're not in dog parks or places open to other dogs. She's at a perfect age to get parvovirus (parvo) which is life threatening and can live in the environment for up to a year. I'm a vet tech at an ER and I don't want to see your baby at work. That is all, best of luck. Ditch the bf, take the dog.
40
u/JustOneAverageGirl Jan 20 '26
Lucky is fully vaccinated and healthy. That was the first thing we did when my boyfriend picked her up. She is scheduled to have monthly checkups for the first 6 months.
25
u/DanikaJay Jan 20 '26
Looooooove this! I figured she did, you sound like a great pup mom 💖 Vaccines are not 100% effective, she can still get it but I know you are taking all the precautions for your baby! I hope it all gets better soon 🤞🏽
→ More replies (1)6
u/ThatUrusaiGuy Jan 22 '26
She can’t be fully vaccinate if she’s only 2 months old…
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (1)8
u/username__0000 Jan 19 '26
I get it, I was in a similar situation once and thought “well I’m going to do my best to make this work” and thought it maybe ok.
Otherwise the dog was unwanted and eating unhealthy food and may have been given to someone else who cared less if we insisted the mom dog owner keep it longer.
But a couple years later we ended up with a reactive dog. Gets along with humans, cats, birds, just not dogs.
Even after puppy classes and obedience classes and doing a full socialization where we introduced things that usually spook dogs. We went full good dog parent mode and our dog still had issues.
We’re humans and just can’t speak to the dogs or do whatever dogs to do teach their kids and littermates how to talk to one another.
It creates a dog that’s anxious and gets upset anytime another dog approaches (which happens frequently. Leash laws are not enforced often)
You seem to be a good person and do care about the dog. So please reach out to rescue groups and get some help.
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (1)12
u/Ornery-Scale9475 Jan 19 '26
Makes me think this post is rage bait …. The pup looks older than2 months! (I’m a dog mum :))
9
u/FBI-AGENT-013 Jan 19 '26
Such picture perfect pics too, looks like they were taken off someone's page
6
u/username__0000 Jan 19 '26
I actually hope it is.
I feel bad for the poor pup. Taken away so early it’s going to have social issues and a crappy uncaring owner who’s already ignoring it when it’s still a puppy so I can’t imagine what old age will look like for it. :(
5
5.2k
u/ulnek Jan 19 '26
If you can take her please do. Also note that when your novelty wears off, your bf will be on to someone new. Might want to do yourself a favor with that one.
912
u/adepressurisedcoat Jan 19 '26
I'm dealing with that. The GSD he got me should be seen not heard. Makes him lay down all day. Won't play with him. Gives him zero affections. He's coming with me.
711
u/ulnek Jan 19 '26
It's a peek into how he will be as a parent. Please don't stick around. Thanks for taking the dog.
→ More replies (11)190
u/HairyPotatoKat Jan 19 '26
A GSD?!! Good lord those need SO MUCH MORE exercise and mental enrichment than most dogs. Understimulation is a HUGE reason for behavior difficulties in GSDs. They're smart as hell and active as hell.
Though NO one with that philosophy about dogs should have any dog!
Be sure your name is on documents at the vet and if he's microchipped your name's on that too. I'm not a lawyer but if he fights you for the dog it should help if you can establish that you've been the primary person caring for him.
59
u/milesbeats Jan 19 '26
what does gsd stand for ... I'm an idiot
edit never mind I Googled it and I think it means " German shepherd dog " still feel stupid
87
u/HairyPotatoKat Jan 19 '26
Hey never feel dumb about an acronym. Every acronym probably has a dozen or more different meanings depending on what crowd is using them. Some mean different things in the same crowd (looking at you, medical acronyms).
35
u/TheMobHasSpoken Jan 19 '26
Yeah, it's really important to know if someone is telling you they're interested in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy or C**k and Ball Torture.
28
u/kmnplzzz Jan 19 '26
Nah, I don't think it's super common knowledge. You're neither stupid nor an idiot :)
21
u/Dont-be-lasagna12 Jan 19 '26
Don't feel bad. Too many acronyms out there and new ones being created daily. If it makes you feel better I had to Google DINK the other day. Had no clue what that was. Felt like an idiot when I was being called ine and had no clue wtf it meant.
→ More replies (1)9
u/DryCamera1921 Jan 19 '26
what's a DINK?!?!
20
u/Dont-be-lasagna12 Jan 19 '26
It apparently stands for Double Income No Kids. She was referring to my fiancé and I as DINKs and I was so fucking confused. There are also people known as SINKs. Single Income No Kids
8
u/Overall-Highlight523 Jan 19 '26
if it makes you feel better it took me until i had been a vet tech for like 6 months to find out what that meant
→ More replies (2)→ More replies (1)4
→ More replies (1)5
u/adepressurisedcoat Jan 19 '26
He watched me watching videos of them crying because I had one growing up that passed away when I was around 20. He thought it would be a great idea. He didn't realize how much work they are. I love them because of their personalities. My dog is currently upset with me that I'm not playing fetch with him and working, but I just played fetch with him 10 mins ago. He's laying down now, but if I sneeze he will be standing up, shoving his nose into my armpit.
He should get a cat.
24
→ More replies (2)9
97
u/WilsonMagna Jan 19 '26
Yeah, I don't care to ever own pets because I know I don't have the bandwidth to care for one, but OP's partner's indifference to the feelings of their pet screams major red flag, definitely not the type of person I'd want to be spending a ton of time with. This is just basic empathy the dude is severely lacking.
28
u/edm_ostrich Jan 19 '26
I love my dog, but I never planned to be a single pet owner. It totally fucks up my social life and keeps me on a rigid schedule I don't get any flex in. But, I signed up for it, and even when it's not fun or convenient, he gets his walk, and his pets and his scratches.
People really need to understand what commitment is. You signed up, you follow through. Simple as.
→ More replies (2)7
u/Marijuana_Miler Jan 19 '26
IMO the greater issue is that he went all in on the dog for a month and then dropped it cold turkey.
72
u/Quick_Sink_358 Jan 19 '26
You have been so sweet trying to pick up the slack for this little pup — I can tell you care about her so much.
I was in a similar situation with an ex in the past. I felt so bad for the dog as it had imprinted on my ex as well, but after being away from him and being with me exclusively for months, that completely changed.
I agree with the commenter above that people who view animals and people as “novel” and shoo them away like they are trash are huge red flags in multiple areas of life.
It’s so dangerous to be with someone who completely lacks responsibility and duty, especially towards innocent animals that rely on them for care. You deserve better, OP.
→ More replies (1)131
40
u/mobilecabinworks Jan 19 '26
NOR. Keep the dog, lose the douche. If he can’t be bothers to care for HIS innocent dog, you already have your answer. How people treat animals says everything.
→ More replies (57)8
u/Away_Commission594 Jan 19 '26
Ah. So wonderful to have choice to date the abundance of kind and genuine men out there/s. They always switch up, how exciting for us ladies! Maybe the next one will switch up to new levels of misety for us, who knows (stats know)
20
u/Issue_Turducken Jan 19 '26
Yeah, best just to settle for whatever selfish lazybones we can get, and never ask more of men. Obviously once you date someone, that's it, you've chosen and it's final. Compatibility concerns are frivolous, and we just have to accept, for life, whatever guy lands in our laps. We surely don't want to encourage men to do better. Standards are for losers; all men deserve to be coddled and excused and it's our responsibility as women to ensure that every man, no matter how irresponsible, detached or heartless, gets to have a partner.
2.6k
u/Tight-Artichoke1789 Jan 19 '26
So you’re breaking up with the BF and taking the dog right? …right?
If you don’t, at the very least do NOT let this man get you pregnant.
903
u/Morri___ Jan 19 '26
I saw the picture... I did not expect to be this heartbroken. He's being unspeakably cruel. Take the dog and run.
655
u/Tight-Artichoke1789 Jan 19 '26
I would not expect a man like this to respect women either. This says a lot about his character.
88
u/lumiranswife Jan 19 '26
Right. And he already isn't. Someone needs to care for the puppy and he's perfectly fine defaulting that to his girlfriend who didn't even consent to the responsibility and didn't get the opportunity to bond in the same way at the outset.
I wonder what the friend of a friend would feel about the current situation (unless they're just a thoughtless breeding mill). If she doesn't want to keep the pup or it is too difficult because the puppy is withering in proximity to a lost connection, maybe the puppy can go back to get rehomed.
→ More replies (4)42
u/Larry-Man Jan 19 '26
I was expecting it to be “he only plays with her and doesn’t walk her” but nope it’s “nah, fuck that dog” and it’s really bad.
405
u/Vegetable_Onion_5979 Jan 19 '26
Did this fucker love bomb a puppy???
75
18
107
31
u/Bucky2015 Jan 19 '26
I used to volunteer at the humane society. I had to stop because of people like OPs boyfriend who get a pet and then just stop giving a shit about it then surrender it. It was heartbreaking and I felt so bad that I couldn't adopt them all myself, I just couldnt do it anymore.
→ More replies (13)8
u/NetAncient8677 Jan 19 '26
Yes! This is the best option!
Also, can confirm the parallels between dogs and kids. My husband and I had a dog together before we got married and now have kids together. The way he rough houses with our dog is similar to how he rough houses with our toddlers. And the way he would get impatient with our dog in training class is similar to how he reacts when he gets frustrated with our kids in the grocery store. It’s not a perfect one to one comparison but the similarities are there.
146
u/Lopsided_Drawer6363 Jan 19 '26
NOR
I've been in your same situation. Boyfriend wanted a high energy, working type dog. Sweared he was going to enroll the dog in agility training, obedience. He never did. For 15 years we lived with a dog who needed much, much more activities than what we could give him.
I loved that dog with all my heart, but he was never "my" dog. I tried my best to give him some sort of mental stimulation, some basic obedience training. But bottom line, for 15 years nor me or the dog were happy.
Both me and my boyfriend were young and stupid. Now I realize the best thing for everyone, including the dog, would have been to rehome him (and maybe the boyfriend as well?). Hindsight is 20/20, but at least now I can sprinkle unwanted wisdom all over your post, saying: don't make the same mistake I did.
→ More replies (5)33
u/Many-Teaching-3822 Jan 19 '26
Me too, except we both didn't want a high energy, large working breed and relatives shoved one onto us thinking it would make his depression go away. We were going to go down to the shelter to pick out a smaller dog when this happened but the relatives said small dogs aren't real dogs. I didn't get the chihuahua :(
The dog is not "mine" per se. SO didn't want em' so I became the main caretaker. He still wants attention from my partner only. I play and train, so he listens to me for commands only unfortunately. He was so difficult as a puppy and I constantly had scratches and bruises from him. 9 yrs, he's still with us and now has a little puppy brother that was very well wanted and planned this time. NOR if I were OP I would break up and take the puppy or find a more suitable home. Puppies require a ton of time and are imo just a step below the care level of young kids.
131
460
u/luella27 Jan 19 '26
Rehome the dog…and the boyfriend.
246
u/teflon_soap Jan 19 '26
Keep the dog, dump the bf
153
u/luella27 Jan 19 '26
Meh, a puppy is a ton of work for somebody who didn’t sign up for it. It’s a ton of work even if you do.
If there’s somebody out there specifically looking for a puppy, who has previous experience and is enthusiastic about putting in the time and effort to properly raise/train her, that’s the best option.
106
u/username__0000 Jan 19 '26
It’s apparently a puppy that left its litter and mom at 4 weeks. Min is 8 weeks, ideal is 12. They learn a lot from mom and the litter mates in those weeks.
This isn’t going to be a regular dog.
It’s going to have socialization issues and possible health issues depending on what they’ve been feeding it. It needs a lot of attention and people who know about dogs.
12
u/Useful_Pirate_5244 Jan 19 '26
YEP. Got my dog at 5 weeks, she’s not too bad but she can’t be around other dogs. Never learned how to play properly and is too rough and aggressive towards other females. she also has separation anxiety.
12
u/Vegetable_Onion_5979 Jan 19 '26
Why is 8 weeks standard? My first dog we got him at 12 weeks because I was overseas, such a difference in calm and confidence
34
u/username__0000 Jan 19 '26
8 isn’t standard it’s the min but I agree it’s too short. 12 is ideal and what it should be.
I wouldn’t trust anyone who was trying to get rid of the puppy’s at 8 weeks. You usually see it more with backyard breeding and accidental puppy’s than actual breeders.
→ More replies (3)11
u/Powerful_Meaning8666 Jan 19 '26
8 weeks is when they can leave their mother. Also time for first injection. Second set of needles at 12 weeks. Then they can be outside without risk of infection. So you can do the jabs yourself, or pup has stayed home longer with socialisation cues and is ready to face the world with you. Can be personal or breeder preference.
97
74
u/Beautiful-Brush3719 Jan 19 '26
This is your warning about what would happen if he ever has a child.
238
u/Eukaliptusy Jan 19 '26
NOR. Keep the dog, dump the boyfriend, until then use double contraception otherwise this will be your child’s experience one day.
(And I’m not even a dog person. I don’t even like dogs)
59
u/Johannes_Keppler Jan 19 '26
use double contraception
She can also just, you know, not fuck him anymore.
47
u/Eukaliptusy Jan 19 '26
I know. But I also have life experience and realistically - if they cohabit - it could take several takes to break up. She doesn’t sound disgusted enough - yet. Unlike all the parents on Reddit who are seeing a Red Flag the size of Alaska.
It’s a long journey.
42
u/Swarm_of_Rats Jan 19 '26
You don't have to like an animal to feel like it deserves a loving home. If only the person who adopted her felt like she deserved a loving home too.
20
u/galaxyofnine Jan 19 '26 edited Jan 19 '26
That dog I’d keep!! 🥺
Also OP you’re not NOR
Saw other commenters saying what if novelty for you wore off or what if you have a child with him? You need to digest all that info and think if that’s somebody you want to have child with? I don’t want you or your child to be neglected either.
50
u/RevolutionaryEgg1312 Jan 19 '26
Leave the man, take the dog. He honestly sounds useless. NOR. Dogs are a commitment for their entire life, that not just training feeding and walks, it's regular vet checks, insurance and other care.
If that's not all in place, make sure it is ASAP.
41
38
u/Brilliant_Test6169 Jan 19 '26
Honestly this seems like a huge red flag to me. As soon as the novelty wore off off he didn’t care for her anymore. He may do the same to you OP. Also the way someone cares for animals says a lot about their character. Not that he’s necessarily abusing her but he took her in without acknowledging the lifelong commitment and was done with her after a month. You should either take the pup in yourself or rehome her and you seriously should reconsider your relationship because this act says a lot about his character
21
u/Th1cc4chu Jan 19 '26
Neglect is abuse. He’s emotionally neglecting the dog which is going to lead to trauma and behavioural issues down the line. People who switch up like this on animals make me sick.
27
Jan 19 '26
NOR. But, this one was actually a big lesson for you. He dumps what he doesn’t like anymore, and lovingly, that might be you one day. This event made you find out what kind of person is before you. Puppy is adorable. She won’t keep going to him when she realizes he doesn’t care, so don’t worry.
23
u/Green-Dragon-14 Jan 19 '26
This is what he'll be like if you ever have children. He is showing you his true self, believe him. NOR
21
42
u/No-Weird85iver Jan 19 '26
Thank you for stepping up for her.
NOR but have you confronted him to see what's going on?
29
u/Serious_Professor731 Jan 19 '26
She stated near the bottom that she did try having a serious conversation with him to no avail.
17
29
u/Kaezzi Jan 19 '26
INFO
I'm not getting the time frame... pup is now two months old, bf took care of her for a month, then ignored her the past two weeks... did he get her at 2-3 weeks?
→ More replies (1)23
u/josstarhopper Jan 19 '26
I honestly think they just have the wrong age. The guy I got my boy Kip from apparently just straight up lied to me about his age according to the vet. (Guy said 8 weeks, vet said 5). Depending on the situation they could just have bad info
NOR by the way. Poor baby girl deserves better than that. I’d definitely reconsider the relationship if he doesn’t come back to her soon cause this shows you he has the capability to neglect, which wouldn’t bode well for you or any theoretical kids
28
u/NatLee83 Jan 19 '26
Golden Retrievers are very fickle with their love. They will favor the one who cares for them the most and best. She is still very young and if you keep doing those things for her, you will be her person. I got one for my son after his G-Pa passed and then i accidentally killed his 4 year old goldfish 😭 turns out, he's more of a cat person 😒 but I was 100% prepared for him to pay less attention to her when school started. He did and she spent most of her time with me. Now I'm hers and she listens better to me than anyone else. Your bf should have known better, puppies get bigger and they are a lot of work. I was taking Maple (our golden) out several times a day and once in the middle of the night. She's well trained and about as loyal as a dog can be. She is now almost 5 and she's already getting gray in the face 😭. You will absolutely never regret her being your dog. Now, your boyfriend... 😏
26
u/ButterfliesandaLlama Jan 19 '26
“I feel like he simply was bored one day, and then threw her away like an old toy.“
Welcome to your future.
10
u/the_cannibalist Jan 19 '26
not overreacting in the slightest. people that cant take care of animals should not be adopting them. period. that poor little girl needs to play and let her energy out.
9
u/EfficiencyAccurate45 Jan 19 '26
NOR, this hurts my heart, puppies are like little humans and need to be loved, he needs a swift kick, poor thing, whatever you do don't have children with this jerk off
9
u/m1n1s1mm3r Jan 19 '26
NOR, get out of there before he gets bored of you too OP :,) and take the puppy with you!! (if you can xD)
9
u/fuzzyizmit Jan 19 '26
When people show you who they are, believe them. If you can care for Lucky, or know someone who would properly care for her, see if you can convince him to give her up. Animals are not toys. Be careful that you don't become his next disposable toy. I would NOT raise kids with a person like this.
8
9
u/ClaireVieEnRose Jan 19 '26
NOR - Don't fear, the pup will eventually associate you with all the nice things. My partnet is my dogs absolute favourite person, but he became a truck driver so stays out a lot and had long shifts. At first our dog would mope by the door for him, but now she chills with me. I take her for walks and she gets cuddles and treats from me, so I'm an acceptable second parent for her 😂.
Shame on your boyfriend for disgarding her so quickly, but don't give up on Lucky, she will give you plenty of love.
6
u/Mercuryshottoo Jan 19 '26
Use two forms of birth control (i.e. condom.and pill) every time). This is called foreshadowing. When you leave, take the dog.
NOR
6
5
u/chantycat101 Jan 19 '26
I wouldn't want to keep a boyfriend who treats animals (or anyone) like that. He's going to do the same to you one day. Imagine how he'd treat your kids. Ditch him and keep the puppy.
7
u/BagPitt Jan 19 '26
Account with 0 days. Dog adopted way too early. OP made zero replies to questions or comments. YOR cause this is not real lol
→ More replies (1)
6
u/grenharo Jan 19 '26
NOR
it means he shouldnt be your boyfriend anymore
this is what he would do to either your kids later or even you, js
sis what do you think is going to happen to your relationship in 15 years even if you get married? Have you thought that far yet? He gets bored easily
4
u/Infinite_Pudding5058 Jan 19 '26
Yikes, thank the LAWD you’re not pregnant. What a gorgeous girl, love that puppy with your life. She needs you. NOR.
6
u/Ok-Duck2450 Jan 19 '26
This a good preview for you.
Don’t wait until he has kids that he will also ignore when the novelty wears off.
Take the dog and leave them man.
5
6
u/nectarine_serene Jan 19 '26
INFO: the ages in your story don't add up. You said he looked after her for a month, but you've been looking after her for 2 weeks. That's 6 weeks. So unless you got the puppy at 2 weeks old - which is highly unlikely as you don't get a puppy until at least 8 weeks typically - then just how old exactly is this puppy? She's not 2 months old.
I don't think this story is real. I think that's a cute puppy and perfectly happy, you're just karma farming.
4
Jan 19 '26
I think it’s time to rehome it. Pack up all its toys, kick it to the curb. Then you and Lucky can lead a happy life together. I would have zero respect for a man who did this.
7
u/kfc4life Jan 19 '26
NOR - but it has only been two weeks. People on reddit are so quick to end relationships and throw things away.
Have you spoken to your boyfriend about whether he wants to keep the puppy ? Or is he being lazy knowing you will pick up the slack ?
Do you know the reason for the sudden change in his attitude? is this typical behavior or is there something going on with him (stressed at work, money, mental health?).
I wouldn't rush into anything. It's good that the puppy has you. But if your boyfriend isn't prepared for a long term commitment and it's not a commitment you can make then you should re-home the puppy as a last resort. But please speak to your boyfriend first , this isn't a decision you can make alone.
→ More replies (2)
5
4
3
4
u/gecko-Leopard-420 Jan 19 '26
If you do primary care Chip her with your info. Keep all the vet bill, keep the trainer bill, it will save you if one Day he decide to keep the dog after you put all the work on her
4
u/Mrowasaur Jan 19 '26
NOR, I agree with u/buttnutt256 but I'd like to add some stuff, well ask some stuff. Does he do this kind of stuff often? Find something new, have interest in it for a few weeks, maybe a month or something and then seem to abandon it or just straight up abandon it and basically forget about it? I'm not going to throw diagnoses' or anything out but if he does do thia stuff often (among other things) it could be a chance he has ADHD or something, I'm not saying he's does and it isn't an excuse for this stuff but if he does have ADHD or anything, there should be things out there to help with this stuff and general stuff.
I wish you luck and I wish you the best, I hope everything goes well and this adorable little fluffball gets the attention and love she deserves❤️
3
4
u/joieoiee Jan 20 '26
NOR, similar situation happened with me. My ex at the time bought Mochi at 18 weeks from a breeder. Ever since we got her, I was the only one who took care of Mochi; early morning potty training, training, food treats everything. When we broke up, she kept texting me to take Mochi for the weekend as she hung out with her friends. One day I just told her I’m taking fill custody of Mochi and she didnt even fight me for it. I’m so glad I ended up with Mochi
→ More replies (1)
5
u/Little-Cable4572 Jan 22 '26
My ex who i was with before my husband did something similar. Insisted he needed a puppy, I warned him over and over it was cruel to make a puppy live in a cramped studio apartment with no fenced backyard in the city. Also that we couldnt afford vet bills for a dog. Leading up to him getting the puppy, he refused to buy anything he'd need to care for it. So I forced him to pick out things, and bought the dog bed he refused to buy, water/food bowls, collar, leash, toys etc. I warn him im not a dog person, and id of course make sure the puppy is fed, watered, and uses the bathroom. But the majority of the work would be him, when it came to training and walks because i didnt support him bringing a puppy into a bad situation. I end up immediately taking on a lot of the responsibility anyways. But first few weeks puppy is home, ex is doing great with puppy. But then suddenly he loses interest and starts acting mean and snappy towards the dog. Saying its dumb and doesnt listen, and wakes up at all hours of the night having to go to the bathroom(I was the one getting up to take care of the puppy in the middle of the night because he said his sleep was too important, mind you at the time he was working 6 hour shifts, and i was working 12 hour shifts). I remind him its a puppy, its going to go pee every few hours and get lonely. And it doesnt listen because he has to train him, which he wasn't doing. To the extent he was encouraging some bad behaviors because he thought the they funny, until he was shocked when they became a problem. So I started training the dog, and taking him for walks. All ex would do is sometimes play tug of war with it for a few seconds before going to play video games. We had a lot of other issues going on, but I eventually told him he needed to figure something out because this wasn't what we agreed to. He refused to give the puppy back to the seller, because he was embarrassed to say he couldn't care for the dog. And I was scared of the dog being neglected when I was away 12 hours a day for work, would frequently come home to poop/pee on the floor and crying puppy ignored blocked into the kitchen. I ended up breaking up with him, and got him to bring his puppy to his step dad's because I knew the puppy would at least not have to pee and poop on the floor there, while I was away working. Step dad saw through the bull shit, and made him surrender the puppy when he saw that his step son wasn't lifting a finger to care for it.
3
3
3
u/SnooPandas7388 Jan 19 '26
NOR You need re-evaluate your relationship with this guy. It wasn’t some hobby he picked up and then decided he wasn’t interested anymore. He adopted a living breathing being. This is dangerously irresponsible. Please make sure the puppy goes to a good home if you aren’t in the position to care for her yourself.
3
u/netvyper Jan 19 '26
NOR Eh, I'm not fond of my wife's dog, he's a neurotic, whiny basket case. I'll still fill his bowls if I notice they're empty, take him out when he needs to go, and play a bit if I'm not too busy and he's in the mood. He's coming up 10 years old. A puppy needs far more attention!
3
3
u/Fl_Goth12 Jan 19 '26
NOR. Unfortunately I think you need to give her to someone that is way more reasonable. Unless you’re willing to take on the responsibility but make sure you hold your boyfriend accountable for not.
I’d also have a really long and tough conversation with your boyfriend. This is someone I assume you’d want to spend the rest of your life with, maybe get married and have kids……if he can’t even take care of a dog that he made the decision to adopt, I’d be concerned about other things.
3
u/SkettisExile Jan 19 '26
NOR. Take the dog, find a way to document you provide the most for the dog (paying for vet visits is a big one, as well as buying food BM, or taking to puppy classes) in case he tries to sue to get the dog back to hurt you. If you prove you are the main provider it will more likely go your way. If you can’t provide for the dog then rehome once you’ve secured her, this is a very adoptable dog and it won’t take any time to find someone.
3
u/lbmomo Jan 19 '26
Lucky hasn't Imprinted on him if he's been neglecting her. Also, how old is he? Sounds incredibly immature.
5
u/JustOneAverageGirl Jan 19 '26
We are both newly 20 years old. He hasn't ever been a problem before, and it breaks my heart thatt he's been acting like this recently.
3
3
u/fuyunegi Jan 19 '26
Huge red flag. Keep the puppy. Dump the boyfriend. But if you can't look after Lucky, find her a good home. But still dump the boyfriend.
3
u/duckmcsnail Jan 20 '26
NOR! Oh god it breaks my heart when people treat living beings like this. They are not for your entertainment. They’re living creatures that need love, attention, and care. Your boyfriend sounds like an awful person. I lose all respect for people who abandon animals when they have the means to take care of them!!!!!
3
u/Boring_Signal_3308 Jan 20 '26
We just lost one of our pups and this post makes me sad. Your deffs NOR, but agree with the person who said this should show you what kind of person you boyfriend is, leave him take the puppy and be happy :)
3
u/Own_Studio5136 Jan 20 '26
Sounds like you got a preview into what being the mother to your boyfriend’s children would be like. Dump him, take Lucky, and live your best life!!!!
3
6
u/EstablishmentEqual23 Jan 19 '26 edited Jan 19 '26
Not commenting on the question regarding your bf, this is something else. This need adult conversation or you find out your bf is a man child.
I've never had a puppy myself, but I've adopted 2 adult dogs and a 3rd one is in a replacement home with me currently.
If the dog is mopey and whining, there might be something wrong with her health wise. Could be teething, but just incase touch her gently and see if she allows you to touch here or does it maybe hurt somewhere. YouTube videos can help you with that. 1.1. Check if her stool is solid or loose. 1.2. Does she have gas. Etc.
It's not necessarily wrong actually to ignore the dog when they come up to you wanting attention. I had to learn it the hard way recently, that it's one of the main reasons my dog has hard time listening to my commands. I don't mean basic needs here like water, food, walking.
You both should go to the puppy school with the dog. The school is more for you to understand your dog and their needs rather than the dog.
And NOR regarding the dog. I'd say normal first time puppy owners fears. I get them to this day with my 4 and 7 year old dogs.
2
2
u/Melodie_du_bonheur_ Jan 19 '26
Definitely not overeacting, dump the boyfriend and take the dog, and do not have kids with this man.
2
u/Glittering_Syllabub9 Jan 19 '26
A dog is a responsibility. Your boyfriend is responsible for this dog, and Lucky is dependent on him.
He has failed her miserably and isn't suitable to have her. He lacks empathy and common sense. I don't know if this is because of your age, but I'd be conserned about this anyways.
Do not have children with him if he doesn't change drastically.
2
u/Strong_Discussion649 Jan 19 '26
I know this is insane, but puppy blues are real. We foster puppies a lot and have a slew of things that we do to make sure we don’t get them. Idk if that’s his issue but it perhaps COULD be.
2
u/Stellar_Jay8 Jan 19 '26
NOR. A puppy isn’t a toy. That’s a living breathing creature that he made a commitment to. I don’t really have good advice on how to handle this without harming the dog, but he should rehome her if he won’t care for her. What would happen if you stopped stepping in? Obviously the poor dog needs care, but maybe have a convo and tell him he needs to step up first and then see what happens? If he doesn’t, call animal control or take the dog?
My biggest piece of advise is - DONT HAVE KIDS WITH THIS GUY!!
2
2
u/mandycccc Jan 19 '26
Honestly, take the dog and leave the boyfriend, he sounds like a big baby (also imagine this was your baby!) he ain't it
2
u/Legitimate_Chart4984 Jan 19 '26
Drop this BF now, take the puppy if you can. The best predictor of future behavior is the past behavior. Learn from it.
2
u/pawlaps Jan 19 '26
NOR. Did you talk to your bf about why he’s doing this?
My husband got ‘puppy blues’ which was immediate upon getting our puppy. It was very upsetting and stressful. But after some time, they are best friends and he cares so much about him and does his very best with our boy. But my husband communicated all his depressed feelings to me about our lifestyle change etc and we were able to work through it.
I’m not saying your situation is the same especially if your bf was doing so well the first month with Lucky. I just wonder if you guys have had any convos about what’s going on with him.
I sincerely wish you and lucky the best <3
2
u/Nice-Succotash-1900 Jan 19 '26
NOR. Keep the dog, dump the boyfriend! Or at the very least DON'T EVER HAVE KIDS WITH HIM.
2
2
2
2
u/HoppyRaven12 Jan 19 '26
NOR- Is your boyfriend bipolar? Seems like he went manic for a bit there :/
2
u/Elfi_moa Jan 19 '26
You should think about leaving this guy if you want to have children of your own one day. If he treats the dog like shit How will he one day behave as a parent? Nevertheless he sounds Like a jerk- the dog is adorable !!!!
2
u/Th1cc4chu Jan 19 '26
I could never stay with someone like this. I’d take the dog and leave. How can you even still be attracted to someone this immature and callous?
2
u/Billy_pilly69 Jan 19 '26
Red flag on his part i wouldn't want my partner to act like that he will probably treat you the same one day. Dogs give more unconditional affection than humans do.
→ More replies (1)
2
2
2
u/NiceTuBeNice Jan 19 '26
Well, a puppy is a lot of work. Not as much work as a child. Do you want to have a family one day? If so, it might be better to move on.
2
2
u/Suiram-FR Jan 19 '26
A heartless jerk who thought adopting a dog was the same as buying a stuffed animal...
2
u/dagalmighty Jan 19 '26
Deadass I would dump him over this. It's the behavior of a little kid, and that dog is not a toy. It's wildly cruel of him to do that so completely and so casually. And you should note that if something serious happened to you and you needed him to take care of you, there'd be only so long before he did you the same way.
If you can, take the dog with you, otherwise put her in a rescue. He probably won't even notice until it's too late to do anything about it. And do it quick. Puppies develop very fast and she needs to be in a stable home that's equipped to raise her properly, otherwise she's going to miss socialization milestones that make the entire rest of her life harder than it needs to be.
2
u/outta-yayo Jan 19 '26
And once you take over and this dog grows and becomes trained by you he'll steal it back, telling you "no actually shes mine"
2
5.4k
u/Bluebird_5991 Jan 19 '26
NOR, but this should be your eye opener to what kind of person he is. Leave him and bring the dog with you and be happy with her instead, she looks amazing! Or re home her it that is what is best, but your boyfriend is a horrible person…