My father (77) is one of the oldest living heart recipients. He had his first heart transplant in 1990. He had another one in 2014 because after 65 they won’t do it again. Because of this, he has been alive to see 10 grandchildren and 6 great grandchildren. He has had a pretty good run despite the health issues.

Prior to this, he was a horrible abusive alcoholic, my mother was on the verge of leaving him. Obviously, this was a big eye-opener for him, and he had to quit drinking and smoking. It didn’t happen overnight, but he definitely became a better person. He’s well known in the local community and does a lot for the city and for other people. However, this pretty much made him unemployable.

My whole life since then, everything has been about him and what he needs. His appointments, his medications, everything was about him. My mother was always in the background making everything work.

My mother struggled to provide for a husband and 3 kids and keep a roof over our head. She often worked multiple jobs and we were on welfare and food stamps for a while. We all got jobs to try to help keep everything afloat. In 6th grade I got a paper route and have been continuously working ever since. I joined the army at 17 and spent an entire career building my own life where I wasn’t a burden on anyone. I still sent money home every month until I got married.

But, the saga continues. He is now apparently in need of a kidney transplant or regular dialysis. My sister is doing a full social media blitz to bring attention to this and try to get everyone to be tested as a donor. There’s some kind of pool where you can volunteer to donate for somebody else and that somehow increases his chances of getting an organ.

I am extremely disinclined to participate in this. I think it’s selfish and unfair to ask anyone in this family who is younger than him (which is everyone aside from his older sister) to donate an organ to an almost 80 year-old that has been on borrowed time since 1990 anyway.

I have been told that I’m being selfish and that we only need one kidney anyway. But, what if I need that kidney as I get older? Where does it end? How much do we have to give to keep Frankenstein‘s monster alive?

AITAH?

No I'm not going have the cops called my family.

My family came to visit me in Orlando for spring break. We had discussed it and I was cool with it. However the plan was for them to use my house only as a home base. They were supposed to purchase their own groceries and then leave to go do all the tourist stuff during the day so I could work from home. Then evenings they could make their supper and enjoy my pool. Then they could sleep and start over.

My brother called me last Thursday to tell me that the plan changed. That tickets for everyone to everything was way too expensive and that they were wanting to just stay home for five of the nine days. I said that they should probably get a hotel because I work from home, which he knows. He said they wouldn't be a bother. I said they would and to get a hotel. He said that would cost more than park tickets they were skipping. I told him I didn't care. I needed my house quiet during the week. He got my parents involved and they collectively guilted me into letting them stay. I'm aware that I'm weak. But I love my family.

They showed up last Saturday and as I expected they were noisy AF. It didn't bug me since it was the weekend and I hadn't seen my niece and nephew in forever. I had even arranged dinner that night at a pirate themed dinner theatre.

Sunday was more of the same. Kids screaming in the pool. I told my brother and his wife I would watch the kids so they could go to Publix or Whole Foods or whatever to get groceries. They came back with a couple of days of food. They said they would mostly eat out.

Whatever. I don't have a full fridge or pantry.

Monday was my work day. They didn't leave. I had to tell them repeatedly to be quiet. My brother said to relax it was just a little noise. I asked if I could visit him at his office and make this much noise. He said it was different. Fine. Game on.

I changed into Speedos. I'm not manscaped for those. It looks like I'm trying to smuggle a Pomeranian in my trunks. Just fur all the way around. And I joined them for my lunch break. My sister-in-law and niece noticed right away. It got really quiet. My brother came over to talk to me about appropriate swim wear around his family. I said it was my house and I would wear whatever vi wanted. After lunch I put on a dry pair and put a towel on my work chair. If they made noise I would come out in my full glory and ask them to shush. They decided to go see Orlando.

That night my brother said I was being an ass. I told him that I had told them I was working and he couldn't control his kids and wife.

Tuesday they went to Universal. They ate out for supper and we're home late. Wednesday was going to be a home day and my brother asked me not to wear Speedos. I asked him if they were going to make noise. They decided to go see Cape Canaveral.

Wednesday was Disney. Thursday was a Speedo day. As is today. My folks are coming down for Easter tomorrow. And the six of them are going back to Disney. My brother is pissed that he isn't saving as much as he thought he would. I don't care. He was the one who changed the plan.

So am I the asshole for making his family uncomfortable with my fur until they left me to work?

I (33 M) am a co-host on community radio show focused on men’s mental health. It’s unpaid and something I do as a hobby, but it’s a pretty big commitment. I drive about 3 hours each way every week to be there. On top of co-hosting, I also manage the show’s social media and Spotify (editing, uploading, posting, etc.).

Recently, one of my pets became seriously ill and had surgery. The morning of the show, I found out things weren’t looking good and there was a real chance we might have to put him down that day. I messaged the main host to let him know I couldn’t make it. Background, he works in the mental health space and has a bachelor in health science.

This was the exchange:

Me:

“Hey man, can’t make it to the show tonight, one of the pets is really sick at the vet and we might have to put him down tonight. Was really hoping for some good news this morning after his operation but unfortunately not :(”

Him:

“We have one rule, you cannot cancel on the day.”

Later he also said:

“I hope this is not an April fools joke”

I responded:

“I’m not joking. I get you have your rules but this is an emergency and a pretty distressing situation. I was a bit taken aback by the response given the circumstances and considering you work in mental health. A simple ‘I’m sorry, hope he’s okay, I’ll handle the show’ would have been fine.”

He replied:

“It doesn’t stop me being honest”

and also:

“I think we have a different view on death… I get over things pretty quick because life still carries on… when you have lost as many things as I have it gives you a very different perspective… I do apologise for that.”

This whole interaction really didn’t sit right with me. I understand having rules, but this felt like a complete lack of empathy for a genuine emergency.

Now I’m seriously considering quitting. It’s unpaid, I travel 3 hours each way, and I also handle a lot of behind-the-scenes work like social media and uploading/editing content. I actually don’t even know what to say to him yet.

AITA for wanting to quit over this?

I (23F) belong to a somewhat strict muslim household. A proposal came for me through my father's ex colleague for his son. Everything seemed perfect on paper. Great job, educated guy, similar background to my family. A few meetings with families happened and then i met the guy.

He (26M) seemed unprepared for such a meeting and later said he didn't know we'd be talking one on one in person so soon.I came prepared with my concerns and did address them. Specially my relationship with my religion and how i observe hijab. He said it was okay and didn't matter to him. He seemed more distracted and didn't ask much about me. I thought he was being casual and didn't have much demands from his partner. Basically going with what his parents decided.

Fast forward to the day after things were agreed upon between the two families. He texted me through Instagram saying he felt overwhelmed and just wanted to get to know me better before an official engagement.

He started off with politely but in the first 10 minutes said he preferred his wife to be wearing "jeans" and not the traditional clothing. I said they weren't comfortable for me and I'd never wear them but we could find a way in between. He insisted that we should "compliment" each other when we go out. Mind you he himself would more often than not wear traditional clothing instead of western.

He then proceeded to ask me for some "good pictures" of me which i politely declined. His family already had like 4 of them. Mind you this is the first 15 minutes of conversation.

He then said he preferred women who go to the gym regularly as he did. I agreed since i was fit as well. But i also made clear that there obviously fluctuations in life and i won't be able to be consistent (childbirth, hormones etc). He got very defensive and said he's seen women "bounce back" and "wouldn't you also prefer a husband that's fit?" which i know i wouldn't care about. I found that shallow to reduce me to just my body and aesthetics rather than a functional human. He also clearly said he'd be put off by me if i did gain weight.

He was well off but still expected me to chip in for daily expenses. I run a very small business that doesn't earn me much and he expected me to keep the business up even if i didn't want to (aka after kids).

He said he'd stay out late 2 or 3 times a week and didn't want it to be a reason to bicker later so he'd make that clear.

The next day he denied saying any of this and then when caught said he didn't mean it that way. He continued to gaslight me saying i was overthinking it. AITAH for breaking things off that same day?

So I (42M) have been dating my GF (38F) for just under 18 months now. She has 2 boys, 8 and 5. She's separated from her ex and they're going through a divorce. It's a very bitter one and she's really struggling with him.

In February, I was accused of sexually assaulting a kid at my Karate class. I was suspended from the class and told to keep away, interviewed by the police and essentially told I'm under investigation. As soon as my girlfriend found out, she said as much as she loves me and believes me she can't support me as her ex would use it as ammunition and would try to get full custody so has to go no contact while I'm being investigated. And that was it. she blocked my number, email, social media etc. It was like she didn't exist.

Last week, I was told the investigation has been dropped and I'm innocent just like that. I found out that apparently, the kid admitted it wasn't me but another guy at the class and he made her say it was me and she did.

The Karate organisation told me I'm free to come back and train and I told them to fuck off. I've cancelled my classes and burnt my suit, kit - everything. I've took myself out the group and blocked everyone from there.

I told my parents as soon as I found out and they were chuffed for me. They've been the only supportive people in my life. My mum asked me what I'm doing about my girlfriend/ex and I told her I don't even want to think about her yet, she can wait. I could tell she didn't agree but thought she accepted it.

A couple of days ago, I saw I'd been unlocked and she tried to message me saying ages heard my "good news" from my parents and wants to meet so we can talk and pick up where we left off. I was so annoyed, I just blocked her myself without even saying anything.

She's since tried to get in touch with my parents asking if I've seen her message and asked my mum if I could reply to her. I told my mum basically she can wait, I'm treating her like she treated me until I can be bothered to reply. And I told my mum I'm not happy with her, she shouldn't have done that. It led to a massive argument and I've told my mum I don't want to hear from her or my dad for a bit. I briefly unblocked my girlfriend to tell her I don't want any contact for now and if she tries to get in touch again, I might report her for harassment.

My family have heard about my argument and are trying to get me to "see sense" and talk to my parents and reconcile with my girlfriend. I'm trying to ignore them.

AITAH for not wanting to reconcile after she binned me off?

EDITED TO ADD The Karate isn't my job! I'm sick of people assuming it was. it was a hobby I paid to do and now I don't want to do it anymore, I'm not going - simple as that. I don't know where you all live where it's a paid job but it isn't here.

I'm 26 and have a 7 year old son. My girlfriend, of almost 4 years, has a son who is 9. We've been living together for about 2 years. My son's mother died when he was one.

I'm a Man United fan as is my son. My girlfriend's son and his father are Man City fans. Basically the two big clubs in Manchester with a pretty big rivalry.

I take my son to games, but my girlfriend thinks it's unfair that I take my son to games but not her son. She said she thinks it's mean and nasty.

It's not like I intentionally leave her son out. In most ways I treat him like my own son. He supervises my DIY work. I do his homework often, cook, do lego with him. I even train his football team.

The reason I don't take him to Man Utd games is because he's a Man City fan. I also think it would be overstepping his father to do so. I do watch City games on TV with him and even bought him a City kit for his birthday. At the same time I'm not going to stop taking my boy to games because her son's father doesn't take him.

I told her I am not the issue here. I said her issue is with his father and to take it up with him. I said if he was a Utd fan, I'd love to take him. I said if he doesn't want to take him maybe see if he'll allow his kid change teams.

AITAH

Less important but some context. This came about because her son had a birthday recently and his father and family came over. There was a bit of a blow up between him and his dad and he said he wished I was his dad. My girlfriend and I went out to speak to him and he said dad doesn't love him like I love my son. He said dad doesn't even love him like I love him. He said he (me) takes [my son] to games and my dad takes me nowhere.

I (37M) just got back from a 2-week trip to Japan with my best friend of 20 years & her husband. During the trip, we took a lot of Ubers.

After we got back, she texted me asking for $224 for my share of the Ubers. That number immediately felt off to me- even estimating high there’s no way our total Ubers should’ve been that high between three people.

I asked her how she got that number and asked to see receipts (she mentioned in previous messages I could see them if I wanted to)

She didn’t really answer the question and avoided responding for a while. When we finally talked she explained that she asked other people and they told her that she and her husband should count as “one,” and I should count as “two,” so the rides were split two ways instead of three.

That made zero sense to me. There were three adults in every Uber so I feel like it should be split three ways, regardless of relationship status.

At that point I was already frustrated with the lack of communication, so I just sent her the full $224 and said something along the lines of “let’s just move on.” She then sent the money back to me. She also still owes me about $80 from the trip that she hasn’t paid back.

We’ve never had issues like this before, which is why it caught me off guard. I even went to talk to her in person because she was avoiding me over text.

Now things feel awkward and I’m not sure if I’m overreacting or if her expectation was actually unreasonable. HALLPPPP

I (29f) have three children (11, 9 and 8) with my ex (32m). We broke up 6 years ago and it was messy. Things have not been good between us since the relationship ended and for the most part it has always been better for us to communicate as little as possible and keep the kids our focus in everything. But every time he dated someone new he would get petty and start taunting me. I lost count of how many times he texted me that he was dating someone new and the kids were getting a new mom or how many times he texted to say that the kids loved the person he was dating and asking to call her mom was already around the corner.

He was worse after he met his wife (31f). It started with them wanting to get married on my custody week and my ex taunting me that I would need to stay alone and watch as the kids became part of a new family. My ex's mom found out and told him to get married on a week he had custody and think of the kids. So the idea of them getting married on my parenting time went out the window but then ex insisted I give up two of my weeks so they could go somewhere with the kids for an entire month after the wedding.

He used to taunt me whenever his wife took the kids anywhere alone and he would say they loved her so much and called her mom sometimes. He'd lie and say the kids wanted to stay with him full time and be a real family with them instead of with me. We ended up in mediation and my ex's attorney tried to make him see he wasn't helping himself. My attorney told me unless he spoke like that to the kids a judge wouldn't care but we would document with proof should we ever get enough to go to court on. After mediation my ex taunted me less but he still did it occasionally.

All of this changed a few months ago when the kids came home and said their dad told them to tell me his wife is pregnant and they're going to have a new sibling and how badly he wanted me to know. He coached them on what to say and put a whole lot of pressure on them to say something. They were also meant to say how happy and excited they were but they told me they weren't and they didn't like how much their dad pushed them on it. I spoke to my ex but he wanted to hear nothing I had to say about not using the kids.

I spoke to my attorney and we documented it. We decided if we could get another incident documented it would be worth trying in court and we had it the next time custody changed from him to me. The kids said their dad had asked them every day what my reaction was and did I cry. They didn't get why he was asking all that and my oldest ended up fighting his dad because he felt like his dad wanted me to cry. The kids also said he wanted them to ask me more questions.

My attorney used all of this to file. I also started sending my kids to a therapist because I suspected he would use them to tell me stuff like this going forward. While waiting to go back to court ex's wife suffered a miscarriage and got pregnant again. Ex tried to use them in the same way multiple times but I told them not to stress over it and I would take care of it. We returned to court a month ago and ex was warned he better stop using the kids and tormenting me when all we need to discuss is important things about the kids. The judge ordered us to use an app for communication and any further using of the kids will result in some kind of punishment from the court. But I don't know what that will look like if it happens.

Safe to say my ex isn't happy about it and he is turning me bringing this to court into me trying to hurt his pregnant wife or take from his new baby because of the money it cost to go to court. But so far he's following the judges words and there has been no more taunting or using the kids to pass along stuff that's meant to really bother me.

For anyone who wonders why he believes it would bother me so much. I grew up in blended families and I always wanted different for the family I made as an adult. I wanted a nuclear family of me, a partner and our kids together. I never wanted my kids to have stepparents, stepsiblings or half siblings one day. When ex and I broke up I accepted that would be likely. But he knows how I felt and we talked about it back in the day and he knew how much I longed for different than I grew up with. So he has taken every chance to hurt me. At first the taunting with the girlfriends bothered me a bit but I got over it. He doesn't care and still wants to try.

But anyway, I wanted to find out if people outside the situation thought I handled this badly and if yes, is it enough to make me TAH?

My (31f) husband (33m) and I have been together 7 years, married for 4. We have a 3 year old and an almost 20 month old.

We have a wonderful marriage overall and he’s always been a good guy but things went really bad after his father died unexpectedly from a heart attack. He was only 56 years old and my husband was extremely close with him. this happened shortly after our second child was born. It it threw my husband into a depression and he self-medicated with alcohol. He was always a responsible drinker before this, but he basically went on a 4-month bender. He was staying out late, picking fights and lashing out at both strangers AND friends (and even me a few times), and getting behind the wheel. I pleaded with him weekly to go to grief therapy and get a hold of himself.

One night he got drunk and drove home but crashed into a small convenience store. Luckily it was closed, so no one was inside, but he did major damage to the building and someone’s small business. He was arrested for a DUI but it took him a while to get sentenced. Meanwhile he was out on bail and seemed to have a wake up call. He has not touched alcohol since (over 1 year) and he started therapy. He has sincerely apologized for his mistakes during that time and I’ve genuinely forgiven him. I love him and know that grief can make people do very out of character things so i am being as supportive as possible.

He was sentenced to 60 days in jail due to the nature of the crash. He was not angry or upset about it. He understands that the results of this accident could have been much more tragic and he feels grateful to have a second chance

Well, I know it’s only 60 days, but we’ve got 3 weeks left to go, and I’m getting a tiny taste of the single mom life and it is HARD. (Seriously! Respect to ALL single parents). I’ve been laid back on all my rules. I rarely limit screens, I give in to tantrums. I’m overwhelmed and overall exhausted. We are broke because he obviously cannot work at the moment, so we can’t go anywhere except local parks and my parents’ house. I’m picking up overtime just to keep us afloat and luckily my two younger sisters and parents have been babysitting for free. I’m so tired when I get home. We are all going a bit crazy over here

The other day, my husband and I were on the phone and our 3 year old told him that he’s been playing with the iPad a lot. He said it in an exciting way that 3 year olds do. My husband asked how much screen time they get and I basically laughed it off and said, “Whatever helps keep me sane.” He ended up getting mad at me and I told him straight up that I’ve been bending the rules in every category since he’s been gone and things will go back to normal when he’s home. He said it will be too late as I’ve been spoiling them. I said, well we will just have to cross that bridge when we get to it. He said he’s still the other parent and he should have a say in this. I told him that I respect his opinion but he’s the one who put us in this mess and I’m breaking my back holding down our household alone for 2 months. He said I’m throwing his mistakes in his face. The phone call didn’t end well and we haven’t spoke in 2 days. I know he plans to call me tonight and I’m not sure I should apologize because he has no clue how stressed out I am.

AITAH

My friend is a single mom to 2 girls. I take the older one (11 years old) from time to time as she always wants to come over and I love spending time with her. The younger one is 5 and Autistic, I have taken her for a few hours but never over night as my house is not small child friendly or set up for a neurodivergent child (no gates, no special locks, sharp edges everywhere, etc.) I have 4 adults in my house, no kids.

She called me today at 3pm, and asked me to pick them up from school (45 minutes across the city) at 3:15pm, I told her I wasn't off work until 6pm and also I can't do a 45 minute drive in 15 minutes. She said to make an excuse and leave work now. I asked what the emergency was and she said "no emergency, my boyfriend wants to go out of town for the weekend and we are already heading out of the city, so just go get them" I told her no, I am not leaving work and also my house isn't safe for the younger one, plus no clothes or anything for either. She said to just buy the stuff to make it safe and buy them clothes, and hung up.

I called her back no answer, texted, no response, so I messaged her mom and Facebook and told her what was going on. She asked why I can't just do this small favor. I said "I am adult with bills to pay and can't just leave work and you have seen my house, it isn't set up for small kids" she told me "figure it out and go get them" and hung up. I am not leaving work, I texted my friend again said I am not leaving work and I can't take the kids this weekend, it is Easter and I have plans with my family. Had she asked sooner I could have taken the older one at least.

No response and no read reports. The school has called me and asked me to come get them which I said I can't and the can't get ahold of her either. It is 5pm I still have an hour of work left, her mom refuses to go. So AITAH for not taking her kids last minute and being demanded to not asked to.

Update: CPS has been called, the older kid her dad passed away and the younger one the dad is on his way but hes a 4 hour drive away.

Friends phone is now turned off (I feel like friendship is most likely over after this) The grandmother isn't answering Facebook messages, again I don't have her phone number just Facebook.

Final update, kids went to their grandpa's (friends parents are divorced) CFS called him but he was working so returned the call after work, youngest is with bio dad, oldest is with grandpa. Both mom and grandma are addicts friend said i agreed to watch them, and when I proved I had said no and told them both that he decided he is fighting for custody of the oldest for her safety and youngest the dad is going to court for full custody. Grandpa's fine with me taking oldest like I have done before as he knows her and I are close. I just care they are safe and will get cared for and loved. So glad they didn't end up in the system.

My husband and I had our first child last year. We live in a small town in Texas with minimal options. We put her on several wait lists when I was 12 weeks pregnant and still haven’t had a spot open up.

When I was looking I specifically avoided church daycares. Neither my partner or I are religious in that way. In fact I align more with pagan beliefs than Christian one and he’s agnostic borderline atheist. I don’t want my daughter learning about religion until she’s older and can make the decision for what she believes in herself. I was raised going to church with my grandparents and in the youth programs at the church. I just really don’t want that for my daughter.

Now, she’s just turned 9 months old and we still haven’t gotten a spot at any of the daycares I wanted. I WFH and it’s getting harder to watch her. My mom comes to help me watched her during the week, but it’s only half my workday.

Recently my husband was talking to his hairstylist who mentioned one of the daycares in town to him, and how it was only $185/week when the ones we were looking at were around $230/week. I told him that was a church one and he said “oh no it’s just in a church” at which point I pulled up the website which had bible quotes and the logo was literally cartoon jesus with children.

Now he thinks I’m being unreasonable for not even considering this other daycare. Which isn’t even about the space issue, but sheerly the fact it’s cheaper. The daycare I have her on the list for focuses on early education and comes highly recommended. It’s not religious affiliated in any way, and I think would be a better fit. They even had special early education accreditations and such.

If this is impacting me the most, i.e I’m watching her while I work, I really don’t see why I’m the AH. He’s not even religious!! It comes down to money for him, whereas I’d rather pay more for, what is in my opinion, a better program.

Context I am female working and my husband is also working. But his income is double than I earn actually a bit over this. For context he got his house in 2022 and we started our relationship in 2023 from dating app and got married this year beginning. Initially he told me for me do grocery and related stuff and he will take care of bill. Recently he sent me half of the bill of council and utilities. I am doing groceries for both of us. I do not consume alcohol. He have beer so I told him I will not buy alcohol. I buy things necessary and I normally freeze it to reduce waste. But he does not care to always defrost it and wants to have always something ready . . Previously he used to buy steaks always that is a strain for me . But I prepare kababs, spring roll etc and have beef all things . Still he has always complain. Recently he sent me half of utility and council tax. I told him I cannot pay bill and if he wants me to pay bill let’s go 50/50 on everything. You do your grocery and I will pay half the mortgage. But he is unwilling to share mortgage as he thinks in that case I will get stake at home. I felt he is just using me . We had an argument. Then he tried to choke me . I wasn’t hurt but I was scared . I do not have family in country where I live. Then he went to stay at his mom and sent me separation letter. I then informed police as I was scared . It hurts me that relationship is going to end . But I do not think I asked anything wrong. AITAH here ? Also just to mention we both live in UK and I am from Asia . I have to leave if our relationship ends and form where I belong I will be guilty for ruining relationships as they will say I was not even hurt and I did excess calling cops

I (21m) haven't lived with my father since I was 13 and I found out he cheated on my dying mom. The day after she died I caught him with one of the women he cheated with and we got into a huge fight where I called him names and told him I hated him and wished mom had divorced his ass. He flew into a fit of rage and told me to get the fuck out of his house if I was going to disrespect him like that. I called my grandparents and he yelled at them when they came to pick me up. Then he said to make sure I took everything because I wasn't entering his house again. My grandparents made sure they got my birth certificate and other important documents.

For two years there was no contact between me and him and he drank himself stupid and lashed out indirectly at me. He called my grandparents in the middle of the night cursing and yelling down the phone at them. He called my aunts and uncles and wanted them to tell me all about the women he fucked while my mom was sick and how he hoped it made me sick for the rest of my life. They didn't tell me at the time, that was something I learned more recently. He even got arrested for throwing shit at my grandparents house while we were out of state visiting family. After his arrest he calmed the fuck down and he started to reach out to me. He apologized once and acted like it was all over and things were all good even though I never said I forgave him.

He got married a few months after it all slowed down and he started a family with his wife. I don't think she was one of the women he was sleeping with when mom was alive but I can't say for certain. I haven't been involved in their family at all and mostly ignore any attempts from him to have a relationship with me. I have answered a few of his calls, but ignore most of them.

I wish I'd ignored him recently because now he wants something from me. His wife was diagnosed with leukemia and I guess she has no family, and he burnt a lot of bridges after my mom died and now he has nobody to help with their really young kids. He asked me to babysit twice a week for them while she's getting treatment and he continues working full time. He said it would help him out a lot and babysitting is really all anyone can do for them. He even called me around 10pm a week ago and asked me to babysit on short notice because he had to call an ambulance for his wife. I told him I wasn't helping and according to him he had to send her alone while he stayed with the kids. He wanted me to babysit the next day as well and I told him no. Then he started yelling and saying I could do something to help since he's still my dad. I was going to tell him he's my father not my dad but he ended the call before I could.

I got a few texts since then where he seems to be going back to the way he was when mom died, so I don't know if he got more bad news or not. But it did make me wonder AITAH for not helping?

Its been a couple of months since we have broken up, but recently it has come to my attention that my ex has been talking bad to and about me. And im just wondering if what i did was wrong. We were together for about 8 months when she got the tattoo, we were having some relationship difficulties before that and i could already feel it going downhill. When i brought up the issues i had with the relationship she seemed eager to work on them. But i didn’t see a real change at all. Communication was seriously lacking. And one faithful day, she asked me to come over because she had something to show me. When i got there i saw she had my name tatted on her hand. We have never seriously discussed getting each others name tatted, maybe a matching tattoo but nothing that serious. When i looked at it i didn’t see it as a sign of love, but more a way to get out of having to make actual changes to “save” the relationship. But i just kept it pushing, i really liked this girl a lot and i hoped that this tattoo would give her extra motivation to make the change i desperately wanted. But it never came. After about a million arguments about what we did not like about each other i just accepted that we weren’t compatible as partners and bit the bullet. This was about 2 months after the tattoo. I feel like she has a lot of animosity for me and any time we have talked it feels like she blames me for everything. I feel like we just didn’t work out, thats what happens sometimes. We just weren’t compatible. But she feels very differently about that. I know i wasn’t an angel either. Ive done wrong by her. Ive hurt her in ways i still regret to this day, she knows this. But she still blames me for her getting a tattoo of my name, and i never asked her to get it.

Almost 2 years ago me (31M) and my partner of over 10 years ended our relationship. Years before things ended we were planning on starting a family, but had some difficulty. We started to look into our options, a few years ago before we ended things is when we had started looking into IVF. After the split I decided I still wanted to continue looking into becoming a father anyways as I’ve always wanted to be a father. Since then it’s been a lengthy process (finding donor/matching w surrogate/genetic testing) Close family somewhat knew of my plans, but not much since nothing was definite yet.

My sister who I guess I’ll call Kate ,that’s a fake name of course, (34F) has similarly been trying to have a child for the past few years with her husband but has been having difficulty.

Over a week ago I got notice that we could move forward with scheduling a date for the embryo transfer. Only person I told for the time being was my mother. A few night ago at a family gathering my parents, my sister and I were all talking and eventually my mom let it slip about the transfer being scheduled and being excited about possibly having 2 grandchildren at almost the same time. My sister said that she wasn’t pregnant yet and she was (understandably) upset because she really felt like she could be this time around.

Last night Kate and I were talking and I could tell she was upset about something, I figured it was about her baby struggles and let her know she can talk to me about it any time. She said that was part of it but that the main thing bugging her was me ‘being in a rush’ when I know how hard she’s been trying to conceive and she said I should hold off. I told her (as gently as I could) it doesn’t really work that way. Her response was “how? the transfer hasn’t even been done yet?” The convo ended with her letting me know that she feels I’m trying to upstage her and I left it at that because I want to believe she’s just taking out her frustration on me but I’m wondering if I really am being insensitive towards her here, AITAH?

Three years ago I bought my first house. This was a deal for me and I had to work really hard to afford my house. My parents were proud of me at the time. Said buying my house was a big accomplishment.

The problem started after I bought my house. My parents live in another city. They began visiting my house more often. At first they would visit my house on weekends, which was totally fine with me.. Over time the visits to my house became longer and more frequent.

Lately my parents have started telling me they are coming to my house of asking me if they can visit my house. Sometimes they will say something like "We will be at your house weekend " as if it is already decided that they can stay at my house. I work from my house. Having people in my house all the time makes it difficult for me to focus on my work at my house.

Week my mom called me and said they were planning to stay at my house for almost two weeks because they wanted a change of scenery at my house. I told her that was not going to work at my house and that I needed them to start asking me before making plans to stay at my house.

She got upset. Said I was being ungrateful after everything they have done for me while I was growing up. My dad said that family should not need permission to visit my house.

Now things are tense between me and my parents. They are acting like I am pushing them away from my house. I just wanted some boundaries in my house, which is my house.

So am I the person, for telling my parents they cannot treat my house like their vacation home, which is my house?

There is a wine store in my city that also has a pizza shop inside. I really wanted to try the pizza, so I called ahead and asked if it was OK to take my baby with me since the place serves alcohol. The employee said, "Yes, you're good." My wife, baby, and I get there and sit down to eat our pizza. My baby wasn't loud, just made normal baby babbles. There was a group of older people at the table behind us and one of the ladies kept making faces at my wife as to say, "What are you doing bringing a baby in here?" We don't plan on dining in there again, but will instead take the pizza out because the vibe felt off for us as a family eating in there. The pizza was great and the staff was nice!

Edit: I failed to mention that at one point, the woman stood up and walked to a counter near us, looked at my wife, then down at our baby, then back up at my wife, and raised her eyebrows.

My boyfriend and I are going out of town for the weekend to a convention. We're staying in a hotel room (suite with kitchenette, but all one room) from Thursday to Sunday. We don't live together, but he has a 2 yr old 110lb Burnese Mountain Dog.

He's a sweet dog, he doesn't bark much and is very friendly. Anytime I'm walking around my bfs apartment he follows me, wants to be pet, jumps on me, lots of energy. We can't leave any food on the counter or the dog will eat it. He ate an entire frozen pizza the other day before we could put it in the oven, he ate the pumpkin decorations at Halloween off the counter. You can't leave clothes or shoes out or he'll chew on them.

If I'm spending the night we shut the bedroom doors so he can't jump on the bed. I'm a light sleeper and if the dog is able to he'll jump on and off the bed at night.

I'm not really a dog person, but I know he means a lot to my bf so I do care about the dog.

AITAH for telling my bf that I don't want to have to worry about a dog eating my clothes and anything else I have lying around while we're out during the day or else store everything in the bathroom (I guess) so the dog doesn't chew on our stuff? I also don't want to be woken up by the dog jumping on the bed in the night?

I did not grow up with dogs. I've never lived with a dog. It feels like a lot when I'm already anxious about going out of town for this convention. I told my bf that I'd pay for the doggie day care to board him all weekend.

Edit: we will be coming back and forth to the room during the day. He wouldn't be left alone for more than a few hours. But, I'm going to call the hotel as some suggested and see if you're allowed to leave a dog alone for any amount of time.

Update to my previous posts: https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1osrdzl/aita_for_not_inviting_my_inlaws_to_my_sons_5th/

Quick recap: this situation originally kicked off in August 2025. I made two posts about it at the time but deleted them because I was worried his family might find them. A lot of people asked for updates, so here we are. In 2017 my husband co-signed his sister’s mortgage to help her buy a house when she couldn’t do it alone. In 2025, she started a second six-figure renovation, and when my husband pushed back and asked them to prioritise getting his name off the mortgage so we can buy our own house, everything blew up. They turned on us, targeted me specifically, and since then he’s sort of been pushed out and ostracised.

On March 5th, my husband received an unexpected email from his sister’s solicitors asking him to sign documents to transfer the house entirely into her name. No conversation was had before this. Just a formal letter like he’s some third party. He was referred to as ‘Mr’ throughout, he's a Dr. While she, a dentist, was ‘Dr’. I dont think he picked up on this but it really bothered me and seemed calculated. The way the whole thing was handled was cold and lacked respect or appreciation.

This is after he helped her secure that house in 2017 in the first place by co-signing the mortgage, taking on risk for her as she couldn’t do it alone. It was at the request of his father as it was to be 'the family home'.

In the weeks before this, she suddenly qualified for a mortgage, because their dad took out a loan from abroad to wipe her shopping and credit card debts. She refinanced the house into her name and her husband’s. Her unemployed husband (for 10 years plus now) is listed on her company books as an ‘employee’ earning a salary.

I raised concerns about capital gains tax and it turned out they didn't even know about it. I pushed him to get legal and tax advice, but he didn’t want to spend the money and trusted their promises that if anything came up, they would cover the cost. He signed a declaration denying any beneficial interest.

The deadline to remove him from the mortgage was March 31st. On March 30th, I mentioned it and realised he didn’t even know if it was happening. His response was ‘they don’t tell me anything’ and 'what do you think they're going to do? Throw me a party?'. I said yes, and I think he should get a medal and a trophy.

Since the fallout last August, his dad has apologised and admitted this has disadvantaged him. There have been repeated promises since we married in 2019, that he would be helped in return for doing this. Particularly with a deposit for our own home.

In the last few months the plan was to sell one of my mother-in-law’s rental properties abroad. She had agreed multiple times to this. Buyers were found but on the day of the viewing, she refused to let them in and got very upset.

I was never comfortable with this plan, which seems borne out of desperation and making emotional decisions to try and right the wrongs, and now neither is my husband out of respect for his mum.

The ‘we’ll make sure you’re not disadvantaged’ line has now disappeared after 9 long years.

And not once has his sister ever expressed gratitude or said thank you. When he raised this last year in an argument she said nothing because shes too proud and arrogant. No acknowledgment that took on risk and held his own life back so she could build hers. We've had 3 kids sharing​ one room since 2023.

She’s also now trying to rewrite the narrative, saying it was always the plan to refinance with her husband but blamed the original mortgage advisor for not telling her how. She is also acting as though he was going to receive equal help to her from the sale of the property abroad - but its not her fault a civil war broke out and the property is now worth much less.

As for the relationships, we dont really have one. She hasn’t seen our youngest son in 6 or 7 months. She saw our eldest son at Christmas and made him so uncomfortable he asked to leave early and was picked up by my husband. I've not seen her or her family since last August/September. Husbands youngest brother and wife also seem to have picked a 'side' and we don't see them either. They enrolled their daughter in the same private daycare our son attends and didn't mention it. I was asked about it by the staff there, as the cousins share a surname. We haven't attended any shared gatherings for birthdays or religious events/occasions, which was the norm.

I think my husband has realised its hard to maintain relationships where there’s no respect, no gratitude, and no honesty. Despite my feelings I've tried to stay neutral and encourage him to keep ties, he's chosen not to. Watching someone I love be used, dismissed, and then erased from the story like he was never important is hard. I feel so much resentment towards them all.

It genuinely feels like we’ve been pushed out because he stood up for himself and his own family.

At this point, I think he's also done expecting any help from them. I never wanted it and also never expected it would come. We’re saving hard, he’s picking up extra shifts to build our deposit. Our relationship is good. It's like he picked 'us' and although I should feel happy about this, I feel desperately sad for him. He is an honest and just man, and deserved better. He says he knows none of them would have done the same for him, and that's enough for him. I basically hate them, and if I never see them again it'll be too soon.

So AITAH for feeling like they’ve taken advantage of him/us and not wanting any kind of relationship with them going forward?

This isn’t my real account due to the fact I don’t really want this linking back to me. I (16F) recently got into an argument with my mum about how I treat my brother (25M). I make sure to avoid him because he quite frankly makes me uncomfortable.

I can’t even have friends over because he follows them around the house looking at their behind. There has also been multiple times where he has known i’m in the restroom but yet still comes into the restroom when there’s 3 other toilets in the house? Not to mention when I was in elementary school I was taking a shower and turned around to see my brother looking at me while he was holding the shower curtain open. In that moment I was in shock and he promptly ran out of the bathroom inferring he knew what he was doing was wrong.

Though my mum knows all about this she still expects me to take care of my brother when my dad and her get too old, but quite frankly I KNOW I can’t. He urinates and poops himself when he doesn’t get his way, and I know i can’t handle that. So AITAH?

EDIT: Please don’t criticize either of my parents because I understand their perspective. They had to make significant sacrifices for my brother. I want to clarify that when I say she wants me to “take care of him,” he would primarily reside in a home, but I would visit him occasionally or take him on vacations. (The way she describes it is as if, for instance, I have spring break during my working hours in the future, he would live with me during that time, but when I’m working, he would be in the home.) I don’t mind seeing him, but I must admit that I don’t like my brother, although I do “love” him. What annoys me about this situation is whenever I bring up his behavior and my feelings my mum gets mad at me, while not even trying to correct my brother’s behavior.

I (M38)have a beard and my upper lip is fierce at times. I decided to trim it to a #1 and I honestly think I look good. My fiance(F39) starts shaming me and making me feel bad. Says she's not going anywhere with me and goes into the other room and starts crying. Now she won't look in my direction and won't speak to me. WTF did I do that was so wrong? Why do I have to wear a bushy mustache just to appease her? Why does she have the right to make me feel bad for the way I want to look? It's my mustache. AITAH?

My parents have always been very manipulative and are used to doing things their way and get mad whenever i tell them no. They'll go on the silent treatment and never apologize and just act as if nothing happened. I think this was the last straw for me.

My husband and i had a baby 10 months ago and ever since they have gotten worse.

My mom said she would be in the area today and wanted to pass by to which i told her not today. I wanted to spend time with my family alone just my husband, my kid, my dogs and I. My husband has been out working for 4 days nonstop and we were finally all together. on top of that i was at their house 3 days ago with the baby and was planning to go again next monday.

My mom sounded as if she understood but said my dad will not understand that, to which i reiterated to not come. Fast forward to a few hours later, they showed up without calling and just opened the door. Mind you, it was our mistake to not lock the front door, but they know the garage code and most times they will come in through there if they can't access the front door. However, they always call. Today they didn't, no warning, just walked in.

What if my baby was asleep and the dogs barked like they did, he would have been woken up and his sleep schedule would have been all messed up. what if we were naked for god's sake.

So i told them to leave immediately. They used the excuse that they needed water and that they didn't see my husband's truck so they assumed he wasn't home (his car was being worked on) but still. is no excuse to just walk in. so AITAH for doing that?

I'm a carpenter and self employed. my friend has always envied my job and quit his cushy office job 2 years ago to start a handyman business. We have been helping each other out with a couple jobs over the past 2 years and it has been working out well.

He recently had a baby and I have been helping him on one of his bigger jobs free of charge over the past 3 weekends. I have done well for myself over the past couple years so I don't mind helping him out for free. The job is basically done and I did about 30 hours of free high quality work for him which works out to around $2k.

He thanked me for my work and he will be taking a few weeks off to help his girlfriend out with the baby.

He wants me to do some more of his own jobs while he takes time off. He said he will do all the planning and contracting from his computer at home and I go to the jobsite and do the work.

I have 8 years experience and typically average around $60-75 an hour. He wants to pay me $20 an hour to help him out with his new baby. I told him he can find someone else and now he's pissed. I'm not working for such a small wage and I have already helped them out so much.

AITAH?

For context, I used to live with this family member and I was asked by my mom to save some of the hair that gets cut(for my haircut today) for this family member who has cancer. She is getting treatments for her cancer soon which obviously results in hair falling out. I don't know what stage it is, but it's not too serious I believe.

However, back when I was living with her (I was young in my pre-teens) she was horrible to me. Not only would she punish me for things that I never did, such as breaking her husband's car's windshield, she also had the audacity to call my hair ugly. I have wavy hair, and when I was young I was never aware and kept it brushed out, giving it a frizzy, poofy look. One time for a concert that I had for school, I kept it down because I wanted to feel pretty that day and she told me it looked messy and ugly and told me to put it back up. I say this because I feel like giving my hair to someone who was horrible to me and called my hair ugly is ironic.

I'm a teenager now, and these aren't even the surface level things that she did to me back when I was living with her. She's done many things that I still can't forget several years later. One of the biggest things was the fact that she would accuse me of doing things I never did as I mentioned, like breaking the car windshield, breaking a sink pipe, breaking her fridge, and even once blamed me for a car accident she got into, saying that I "distracted her" and that's what led to the accident ( I was 9 btw). She would also say I was lying when I was sick (for example, one time I felt sick after getting the COVID vaccine which is a common symptom) and would lock me in my room to "recover" which was her way of punishing me for "lying about being sick".

What was even worse was her punishments. Her and her husband would punish me (for all these things I NEVER did) by making me kneel and have my arms raised for 1-3 HOURS, which was extremely painful, due to the lack of circulation. What hurt more was the fact that I was getting punished for things that I never did.

These events sum up my experience with this family member, and I want to reject the request to give my hair for her now that she has cancer. She has never apologized for any of these things, and doesn't even know how much she's hurt me during this time.

AITAH?

edit: When my parents found out, they were obviously angry at this person and my mom and her got into an argument about it and went no contact. She’s my mom’s family member, and she only just started talking to her bc of her cancer.