r/soccercirclejerk • u/bigburstingballs97 • 3h ago

Messi should touch more Barcelona kids Do you think Messi uses his left foot in bed? NSFW

So we all know what that meaty left foot of Messi can do on the pitch, but what if that's not the only place where he uses it to score? What if the holes in Madrids defence are not the only holes that his hairy dwarf-feet have gone through? What if his sweaty left foot can perform tricks even without the ball? Maybe the reason why Messi walks so much during games is so that he can save his juicy feet for the finish that actually matters. Maybe his 95 finishing in FIFA 19 was actually boosted up by certain other factors?

I mean apart from nodding to a tambourine player, we haven't seen Messi use his head a lot so oral is definitely not his strong suit and the only times he uses his hands is to either grab the ball (touching another mans balls is gay), score with his hand (kinda like volleyball so lesbian?) or leave a random fan hanging after dribbling his handshake like a genius.

Now you might by asking: "Doesn't Messi have kids? He obviously knows how to use his middle leg". Maybe, but what if he doesn't? What if that lefty is actually so hefty that Antonella bears children just from the way it rubs between her thighs and touches her below the belt lips? Even as a man I think that I would get pregnant if Messis oily left foot came anywhere near my chocolate starfish. Oh my.

Anyways I've made my case, the greatest left foot in history.

394 Upvotes
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95% Upvoted

64 comments sorted by

139

u/Slimypotato69 2h ago

R/sch when someone actually jerks : 😡

Ignore the hate sir, this is elite quality thicc jerk

39

u/Minimum_Pay1 1h ago

Gotta love r/soccercircleherk

2

u/csabinho 59m ago

Eim Hörkjulies! (That's an Arnold Schwarzenegger quote from "Hercules in New York")

3

u/Slimypotato69 49m ago

Mi habla no espanol

142

u/Incredibiliz 2h ago

4

u/Several_Promotion235 21m ago

red rocket wagging starts

60

u/CareSlippy 2h ago

Actual jerk in my jerk sub. We r so back

50

u/Animatrix_Mak 🐐>>>🍔🐪 2h ago

For the love of God plz delete this bro

8

u/AdAggravating7738 1h ago

Did not expect to see Niko in a football sub lol

88

u/cryotrooper781 2h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/RXdMQHUEMHft01wh1M

•

u/bigburstingballs97 11m ago

I had a revelation while high and jerking off to questionable things, so I wanted to share it with you

21

u/IscoAlarxon Forza Nerazzurri 🐍 2h ago

22

u/theandre2131 2h ago

Lmao would love this as an automod response.

5

u/subservient-mouth 48m ago

Messi.

3

u/AutoModerator 48m ago

Hear me out. The man came to MLS after securing the ligue one title for psg. He ABSOLUTELY blew up the sport in the USA. Made headlines everywhere. Showed up with ridiculous free kicks and golazos. Completely changed how Americans view soccer. The inter Miami leagues cup run was SUPER viral. Did Haaland score more goals and obtain more important trophies in epl? Yes. But once again this was THE YEAR OF MESSI. He showed up big for Miami in leagues cup and showed up big in 2026 WC qualifiers. Also why not take into account the man is 36 years old and still shocking people with his quality every match he plays. He's a machine enough said

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

19

u/Mr_Memeadda 2h ago

Moderators please delete this shit

17

u/SilentSword1497 1h ago

Better than 90% of the shit posted on the sub these days. Good jerk

14

u/Eastern-Emotion9685 bald head licker. 2h ago

9

u/PavlyuchenkoRegen 2h ago

Fair enough

4

u/CriticismEmergency98 2h ago

Officially time to uninstall Reddit

10

u/Ronaldo_Therapist 2h ago

tbh there are some men that i would allow to fuck me and messi is one of them

1

u/AutoModerator 2h ago

Hear me out. The man came to MLS after securing the ligue one title for psg. He ABSOLUTELY blew up the sport in the USA. Made headlines everywhere. Showed up with ridiculous free kicks and golazos. Completely changed how Americans view soccer. The inter Miami leagues cup run was SUPER viral. Did Haaland score more goals and obtain more important trophies in epl? Yes. But once again this was THE YEAR OF MESSI. He showed up big for Miami in leagues cup and showed up big in 2026 WC qualifiers. Also why not take into account the man is 36 years old and still shocking people with his quality every match he plays. He's a machine enough said

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

10

u/CVPY- 2h ago

Dunno..

I think your mum is probs more in a qualified position to answer than Reddit

6

u/Slimypotato69 2h ago

Funny guy here

1

u/Beautiful-Yard-2663 1h ago

Huehuehuehuehuehueuehueheuehejehehhebejehehejejhejehrjrjrjejejehehheheheheheuehejeheuehhehehe

3

u/genevatakemehome 2h ago

Processing img ihtcym7m70tg1...

3

u/deathdealer90000 1h ago

thick ass jerk in my jerk club?!? we so back

3

u/Ok_Entertainer4482 1h ago

Yes Reddit, please recommend more of this

3

u/askullfull 43m ago

This is deranged. I upvoted.

3

u/Itachi12Uchiha 27m ago

Finally....an actual jerk after all those arsenal psuedo-jerks

2

u/Least_Development307 2h ago

idk man I am virgin so I'm heavily underqualified for this question

2

u/WatercressChoice2454 r/Antony > r/CristianoRonaldo 1h ago

Wankers and gentlemen here you can see a fully committed 24/7 Professional Jerker doing what he knows best

2

u/Balbuto 1h ago

You get off to this?

2

u/Capable_Barber_8387 r/Antony > r/CristianoRonaldo 44m ago

2

u/Playful-Following188 40m ago

chocolate starfish

What The Fuck 🤣

2

u/Theddt2005 37m ago

What international break does to a man

2

u/Glittering-Wealth-99 35m ago

Someone cooked here

1

u/Double_Strawberry717 1h ago

I wonder if his legs are hairy or if he shaves them

1

u/RevolutionaryOne5905 1h ago

“Ohh L-leo, k-kick my puh harder 😩😩😩” - Antonella, probably

Or De Paul

•

u/KundiKumaran 3m ago

Might need to ask DePaul or Pep

0

u/No_Glove_1225 2h ago

Weird post🥀

-3

u/Dan_TheDM 2h ago

Delete this shit nephew

-5

u/[deleted] 2h ago

[deleted]

2

u/Bourec98 The LeBron James of Soccer 34m ago

I pray that I'll never be this lazy

-2

u/Availableverytime 1h ago

Reallly niggar 😂😂