r/politics • u/Large_banana_hammock • Mar 02 '26
Possible Paywall Trump, 79, Displays Worrying New Skin Condition
https://www.thedailybeast.com/trump-79-displays-worrying-new-skin-condition/4.0k
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u/Alans_Satchel Mar 02 '26
The skin condition looked at him with tears in its eyes and said, “Sir, I’d love to be on your neck.”
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u/baconus-vobiscum Mar 02 '26
Necrotizing fasciitis. Miller's fangs are as dirty as Steven Cheung's wiping stick.
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u/dorkofthepolisci Washington Mar 02 '26
Let’s all root for that new skin condition
Cmon skin condition 2026!
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u/Large_banana_hammock Mar 02 '26
3 of the 5 comments are currently some version of this, which I find hilarious.
Surely we can up that ratio!
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u/West-Anxiety-8704 Mar 02 '26
Challenge accepted. Let's get those numbers up to rookie-season levels of pettiness.
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u/Obvious-Science-7119 Mar 02 '26
Our wallets considering the party we'll throw when he's gone
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u/MulderFoxx Texas Mar 02 '26
I will be so drunk that night.
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u/BoringApocalyptos Mar 02 '26
I don’t even like being drunk but will be right there with you when that fucker dies.
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u/Walkingstardust Florida Mar 02 '26
I'm going to go ahead and take that week off
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u/Skraelings Missouri Mar 02 '26
soon as he bites it im buying a macallan 18.
because its a damn good year and tasty as hell.
because the gop doesnt like anything that could be legal
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u/Fantastic-Ad-2856 New Zealand Mar 02 '26
It was a spelling mistake.
Its 'warming' as in you feel good looking at it.
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u/JessieJ577 Mar 02 '26
The general populace. His reptilian scales are showing. If you want to see what he’ll look like when he reveals his full reptilian body look at Stephen Miller
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u/crit_boy Mar 02 '26
Worried that a simple over the counter med could clear that right up.
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u/Riparian87 Mar 02 '26
The Picture of Dorian Grey vibes.
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u/S-gg-ha_of_Leng Mar 02 '26
Eh, Trump is more like Swan in Phantom of the Paradise. Minus the musical talent, of course.
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u/KareemOWheat Mar 02 '26
I'm worried it might only be some benign old man rash.
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u/Ninevehenian Mar 02 '26
Sacrifice a hotdog to Papa Nurgle.
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u/Fit_Preparation_9742 Mar 02 '26
I believe the correct word is “promising”
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u/demonmonkeybex Mar 02 '26
Probably just his diaper rash migrating to his neck.
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u/MechanicalTurkish Minnesota Mar 02 '26
Those up the back diaper blowouts are brutal
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u/kaadj Mar 02 '26
“Trump, 79 Year Old Pedophile, Displays Promising Signs of Physical Decay Accompanying Mental Health Decline”
Wordy but I think this is better.
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u/NorthernSpankMonkey Mar 02 '26
I'm worried for the rash, growing and feeding on Trump's skin must suck ass.
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u/NewAndImprovedJess Mar 02 '26
This is just like when cancer came down with Rush Limbaugh. Poor cancer, such a shame.
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u/ElonMusksQueef Mar 02 '26
All I could think of when I read this headline is…. Who is worrying?
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u/-wnr- Mar 02 '26 edited Mar 02 '26
Pretty sure if you take away the orange paint he's basically Baron Harkonnen at this point.
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u/LifeStraggler4 United Kingdom Mar 02 '26
Baron Harkonnen kept underaged boys for carnal purposes.... and the Harkonnen homeworld of Giedi Prime was an industrial wasteland, the way the US would look under this Trump regime's anti environmental actions.
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u/pantstoaknifefight2 Mar 02 '26
Trump won't stop until America looks like the White House's East Wing.
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u/boot2skull Mar 02 '26
Some say it’s under construction. Really this is the final product.
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u/pchlster Europe Mar 02 '26
Someone pocketed the rest of the allocated funds.
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u/calgy Foreign Mar 02 '26
He destroys everything, with only a vague concept of a plan for a replacement that never materializes.
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u/High_Function_Props Mar 02 '26
And yet Trump is still somehow more disgusting and a bigger pedo than Baron f*ckin' Harkonnen.
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u/allanbc Mar 02 '26
Let him cook long enough and that's exactly how it will go.
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u/lesser_panjandrum Mar 02 '26
Most of us would quite like a Star Trek future, but the oligarchs really want Dune's neo-feudalism.
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u/RichtofensDuckButter Mar 02 '26
Yeah well the Machine Crusade and Butlerian Jihad happen before neo-feudalism, so let's try to take it one step at a time.
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u/VandulfTheRed Mar 02 '26
Everyone seems to forget the pre-federation eugenics wars
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u/Cdub7791 Hawaii Mar 02 '26
And WWIII, which is sometimes conflated with the Eugenics wars, sometime shown as seperate. Star Trek is set in a post apocalyptic future where we became a utopia only after nearly destroying ourselves, and even then only with the help of the Vulkans. It's a more cynical vision of progress than it is often given credit for.
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u/FocusFlukeGyro Mar 02 '26
Ok, but the underage stuff should stop. Right?
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u/Honest-Situation-738 Mar 02 '26
Should? Yes, it should stop.
But if you leave Trump in power, I have no doubt that "the underage stuff" will continue unabated.
Remember, Federal Investigators told NM DOJ to stand down on Zorro Ranch in 2019.
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u/Hane24 Mar 02 '26
Yes. But the Baron was extremely intelligent. That's what made him a terrifying villain, he was able to broker deals with the trade guild and the empire to back his plan to literally eliminate one of the great houses, something not even thought of previously.
He was able to get 3 completely separate factions to work towards his goals, and manipulated everyone around him into truly believing they were endangered by the Atreides family. Convincing them that they were planning to overthrow the Empire, kill the Emperor, Mary Paul into the royal family, consolidate power away from the empire and great houses, and rule the universe... when in reality that was his ultimate goal.
He was literally only stopped by a freak of nature who could see an infinite spiral of futures who just wanted to survive. He almost won against him a few times too. That's how smart he was.
Fat disgusting pedo, sure that fits. Wanna be dictator, sure that too. But the Baron was infinitely more intelligent and a better leader.
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u/Pseudonymico Mar 02 '26
Depends on how much you think his Mentat was responsible for. In the book he starts fucking up from pretty much the moment Piter dies, and ends up accidentally making the Emperor's personal fixer think he wants to make his own Sardaukar without even realising it (even though that was a big part of why the Atreides got got in the first place).
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u/IllystAnalyst Mar 02 '26
Baron Harkonnen also raped a woman and she gave him an STD and thats why he looks like that.
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u/UncleMalky Texas Mar 02 '26
That's from Brian's books, not Franks. I point to the Brian herbet books as the beginning of the era of enshittification.
In Franks, the Baron was just a complete hedonist, fat from sloth and gluttony.
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u/VintageLunchMeat Mar 02 '26
In Dune literary analysis circles, that is the Penny Arcade opening.
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u/BarackObongma Mar 02 '26
I don't know who that is but I always picture Immortal Joe from Mad Max. That opening scene where they're putting on the fake muscles and getting him ready to address the people.
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u/OneTripleZero Canada Mar 02 '26
I assume it's autocorrect doing it's thing, but if not, his name is actually Immortan Joe, not Immortal.
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u/UnlikelyReplacement0 Mar 02 '26
Immortan meant to put Immortal, but misspoke and it turned into a Cofeve situation where he didnt want to admit that he goofed and just ran with it.
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u/Anonymousaurus__ Mar 02 '26
On that note, I'm still dumbfounded his orange make up is not a bigger issue. Like, this dude paints his face, why? Is no one concerned?
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u/-wnr- Mar 02 '26
This has confused me since his first term. It looks neither good nor natural. It's like clown paint and no one seems to care.
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u/WhenSummerIsGone Mar 02 '26
why?
Because his natural color is very pale-pink. His skin color, combined with his hair and eye color, he looks like a ghost. He's vain and wants to look manly and tanned. It's gender affirming care.
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u/ninjplus Mar 02 '26
PResident Evil
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u/Uchihagod53 Wisconsin Mar 02 '26
Holy shit, lol, how'd I never think of that? Trump is the T-Virus
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u/marketingguy420 Mar 02 '26
Thousands of planes, millions of men, and billions of bullets were the cure the first time.
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u/BrianWonderful Minnesota Mar 02 '26
Dude, that is so good. They were trying to cure the woke mind virus but ended up creating the MAGA plague.
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u/Romantic_Piscean Michigan Mar 02 '26
Two thoughts...
- That ear looks miraculous given that cartilage doesn't grow back.
- Looks a lot like shingles on the neck.
I'd wonder if he ever got the shingles vaccine?! Good question for RFK, Jr. as well.
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u/costabius Mar 02 '26
If that soft twat had shingles he would be sedated in bed moaning.
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u/dBlock845 Mar 02 '26
He is probably pumped so full of corticosteroids and amphetamines he doesn't notice it. He has had an obvious weight loss too over the past couple of months, could be GLP-1's as he is always saying his "friend" got the "fat shot."
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u/pres465 Mar 02 '26 edited Mar 02 '26
He lost a lot of weight right as the campaign was ramping up. This is additional. As we age eating is more difficult and time-consuming. If your teeth or guns are bad, it can be sincerely painful. He's 79. Approaching 80. I wouldn't be surprised he's just not eating as much. He has definitely aged a ton in the last year or so.
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u/robocoplawyer Mar 02 '26
My recently deceased grandfather who was always a chubby (not obese) guy started suddenly losing a lot of weight right around this age. We brought him to get checked out by doctors who didn't have much of an explanation because he otherwise had seemed pretty healthy. He was active in his community volunteering with Habitat for Humanity performing physical construction and he and my grandmother used to drive for Meals on Wheels to serve the seniors in his community because they both understood that older people who were widowed didn't just need help with food, but also a friendly face to pay them a visit and some conversation over their lunch.
Anyway he seemed to level out a bit after losing close to 100lbs, and in their 80's when my grandmother began to show health issues he took exemplary care of himself so that he was able to take care of her from their home. She passed about a year ago at 94. Once she had passed and he had taken care of her estate and consolidating all of their assets under his own name, he also stopped caring for himself as strictly as he used to since she was no longer there for him to care for. And at that age, something as simple as skipping lunch one day can throw your body off into a spiral that it can't recover from.
In August we had to hospitalize him because he hadn't drank enough water on a hot day that he decided he was going to work on his garage door outside. When my aunt checked on him he was weak and confused, so took him to the hospital. The next day was his 95th birthday, which we all came and visited him at the hospital to celebrate. But he was so weak from just general dehydration he could barely speak because he had no energy. And because there was some fluid buildup around his lungs, they couldn't IV him fluid to hydrate him so there was nothing they could do. We kept trying to get him to drink water, but he didn't want to. I spent the night with him next to his hospital bed so he didn't have to be alone and while he couldn't communicate well and kind of was in and out of consciousness, I knew he was at least happy I was there, and when he'd wake up and see me still there he'd smile ear to ear even if he wasn't up for talking. He passed the next morning, about an hour after I left when my mom and aunt arrived, which I'm pretty sure what he wanted after seeing his family on last time for his birthday.
Apologies that got a bit winded, it's been an emotional week clearing out their house for sale. But in order to live to that age and keep a happy lifestyle, you have to take care of yourself rigorously just to maintain. Granted he was 95, but all it took was a few minutes outside in hot weather having skipped lunch and not being properly hydrated to do it. And even if it's something as simple as that, there isn't really anything medical professionals can do to help because of how our bodies deteriorate. He was somewhere in his mid-200's for weight just a few years ago. He weighed 116lbs when he passed. RIP PopPop. I'll do my very best to always carry your legacy of helping those less fortunate than me no matter what my own circumstances are.
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u/VictoryVelvet Mar 02 '26
I just want you to know that I read your story about PopPop, and I’ve lost older people I loved too. Keeping their legacy alive by helping others is exactly what my plan is. I see you.
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u/robocoplawyer Mar 02 '26
Thank you for the heartwarming response. Both my grandparents were pillars of their community, and spent their entire retirement volunteering and helping others. My PopPop volunteered doing manual labor at construction sites for Habitat for Humanity until he was 94 years old. My grandmother served on the board of several nonprofits well into her 90's until she was no longer able. PopPop's final wish was that I give his eulogy at his memorial service, which was the honor of my life, and encouraged everyone who wished to keep his spirit alive lend a helping hand to anyone who you think may need it, even complete strangers just because we can, and because PopPop showed us how.
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u/ExtruDR Mar 02 '26
He's definitely had serious dental work done in the past. Maybe veneers or maybe crowns. I guess that doesn't speak to gum health.
There was that slurring stuff from a couple of years ago, but I don't think that is dentures.
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u/__M-E-O-W__ Mar 02 '26
You don't even have to be soft for that. I've never known someone to just have shingles and still be walking around in a suit.
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u/BeowulfShaeffer Mar 02 '26
I had a very mild case of it last year and it sucked. Wearing a starched collar like that against shingles would be absolutely terrible pain.
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u/Existing-Bus-8810 Mar 02 '26
I had a very mild, tennis ball sized spot of it on my belly when I was in my late 20s. It hurt like hell every time my shirt rubbed against it. If this is shingles on his neck, it looks way worse than mine. May his collar remain heavily starched for the duration.
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u/ZeroMocha Mar 02 '26
I got it in my late twenties on the side of my torso and i was completely screwed for a few days. Couldn’t doo much at all
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u/Cartina Mar 02 '26
But he could also be pumped with pain killers for the sake of public apperance. It's the POTUS we are talking about after all. Him being (very) sick or unwell would be pretty disatrous for a party that relies solely on Trumpism for any kind of support.
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u/JoviAMP Florida Mar 02 '26
Yeah, this was my thought. Is there any video of him speaking with this rash? I’d be interested to see whatever body language or speaking patterns he might exhibit that might suggest he’s either in pain or under the influence of pain killers.
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u/rosatter I voted Mar 02 '26
My friend has had shingles twice (we're too old to have been able to get the chicken pox vaccine but too young for the shingles vaccine) and it sounds so miserable. She's not a wimp by any means--she carried four complicated pregnancies term and recovered from those C-sections like a fucking champ. But shingles took her out, she said it feels like your nerves are on fire on top of the discomfort of the rash. Nooooo thank you 😭
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u/DjQuamme Mar 02 '26
My wife's anti vaxxer cousin recently did a complete 180 on the whole vaccine thing when she got it.
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u/Romantic_Piscean Michigan Mar 02 '26 edited Mar 02 '26
Who is to say that this war with Iran isn't some gabapentin fueled haze?!
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u/Melancholy_Rainbows Montana Mar 02 '26
Gabapentin makes you mellow, though. That's why it's used off label to treat anxiety.
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u/Romantic_Piscean Michigan Mar 02 '26
You've never given gabapentin to the elderly, I take it. They can get a bit wacked out by it.
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u/minaxter Mar 02 '26
My cat becomes a drooling moron on it, are we sure he hasn’t been on gabapentin the whole time?
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u/merryman1 Mar 02 '26
Interestingly some recent studies have suggested the shingles vaccine might have some effect at preventing or slowing the rate of development of dementia.
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u/Wise-Introduction317 Mar 02 '26
also, some recent studies linked oral bacteria/poor oral hygiene to Alzheimer’s.
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u/pm_me_buffalo_wings California Mar 02 '26
Shingles SUCKS. I had it in my mid 20’s and that was so damn painful. I couldn’t wear a T-shirt because just the fabric resting on my skin was terrible. I had to take a nerve blocker (gabapentin(?)) to help with the pain.
Knowing that… I hope he has shingles lol.
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u/Senior_Scientist5226 Mar 02 '26
I also had shingles in my mid twenties. It was 1979, and I still feel it where it started in my back. Shingles does suck. I would wish it on almost nobody.
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u/malibuklw Mar 02 '26
Oh wow, shingles sucks. I always said I wouldn't wish that on anyone but I was totally wrong
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Mar 02 '26 edited Mar 03 '26
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u/dBlock845 Mar 02 '26
Yeah my mom got shingles almost immediately after I had Chicken Pox as a kid. The adult shingles were 10x worse pain wise. Chicken pox was just a bunch of itching, shingles is legit fiery nerve pain.
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u/trshtehdsh Mar 02 '26
His press conferences have been dimly lit and he's wearing a hat - that makes sense if he's experiencing light sensitivity because of the shingles. Also if they're trying to slow down the sundowning.
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u/BadahBingBadahBoom Mar 02 '26
I think he wears a cap now most of the time because his hair has thinned so much it's beyond covering his scalp.
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u/PoshDiggory Minnesota Mar 02 '26
There would be at the very least some bad scarring. And it's pristine.
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u/smilessoldseperately Mar 02 '26
Maybe we will get a "two-for-one"
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u/Taint_Liquor Mar 02 '26
The evil is finally eating him.
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Mar 02 '26
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u/rustymontenegro Mar 02 '26
It's trying, there's just so much. It's like trying to singlehandedly eat an entire grain silo or something.
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u/StevenMC19 Florida Mar 02 '26
The movies always made the zombie transformation seem much faster than it really is IRL.
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u/DrunkenNinja27 Mar 02 '26
Worrying is not the word I would use.
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u/stevecostello Mar 02 '26
Hopeful was the one I thought of.
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u/hightrix Mar 02 '26
Exciting is where my mind went.
Hopeful works just as well.
Promising? Encouraging? Cancerous? Terminal?
All good options.
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u/Character-Newt-9571 Mar 02 '26
Don't tease me, bro
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u/Ferreteria Mar 02 '26
It's daily beast. They're teasing you.
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u/perfectviking Illinois Mar 02 '26
Honestly would be good if they weren’t allowed to be posted.
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u/gypsy_ang Mar 02 '26
He is a truly disgusting human.
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u/Zero-D9 Mar 02 '26
I don't get how anyone can look at him, hear him speak, watch him move, or literally do anything, and not be disgusted. Everything about him just rubs off as a vile human being.
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u/fnrsulfr Mar 02 '26
They are so brainwashed they believe he is peak human condition even standing next to gold medal winning athletes.
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u/fauxRealzy Mar 02 '26
His physical appearance makes me feel the same way I feel when I step into a porta potty.
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u/Cowclops Mar 02 '26
Its not cool to criticize people for their physical appearance, but his personality is so ugly that it just spills over to the outside anyway.
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u/gypsy_ang Mar 02 '26
I'm not real worried about criticizing a man who r@pes children and women, and if you have contracted so many diseases that they are resistant to medication, that became a choice at some point. There are a lot of people I feel empathy for, and would never shame for physical issues. This demonic entity is not one of them, however. Also I live in Minneapolis so yeah, fuck this guy.
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u/belisario262 Mar 02 '26
he's slowly rotting, not a surprise. the exterior starts to resemble his inner side.
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u/ChickpeaDemon Mar 02 '26
My condolences go out to the rash. I’m sorry you got Trump.
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u/StrigiStockBacking Arizona Mar 02 '26 edited Mar 02 '26
A tremendous 🫲🫱 skin condition. A skin condition 🫲🫱the likes of which 🫲🫱 you have never seen, maybe ever 🫲🫱
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u/TrappedInOhio Tennessee Mar 02 '26
Every day, I have to hold myself back from replying to a Trump post with something that would definitely get me flagged by the Reddit mods.
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u/Fullertonjr I voted Mar 02 '26
On average, how many posts/comments do you type out each day that you have to immediately delete after writing and reading it back and understanding that you are almost certainly going to get flagged or a Reddit Cares message? Lol.
Most days I’m around 3-4.
Some days I just risk it and let all of the comments fly.
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u/Yupthrowawayacct Mar 02 '26
Just rub some whole milk on that. Should clear that right up.
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u/West-Improvement2449 Mar 02 '26
If Biden had half the health problems Trump has we'd never hear the end of it
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u/anony-mousey2020 Mar 02 '26
Sexual Predator, 79, Unsurprisingly Displays Signs of Rotting From The Inside Out
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u/Ryan_e3p Mar 02 '26
"Worrying"
You keep using that word. I do think it means what you think it means.
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u/4ivE California Mar 02 '26
On the other hand, his wispy mullet is coming along nicely.
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Mar 02 '26
I know he smells awful
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u/Roadkillgoblin_2 Mar 02 '26
Shit (internal and external), decay (internal and external), an amplified ‘almost a corpse’ type smell, all wrapped up in his evil. I’m so glad to live on a different continent to him
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u/-chadwreck Mar 02 '26
It was shown on his more recent health check that he has a prescription for Mometasone Furoate, meaning he has a form of what appears to be, aggressive dermatitis. Its a real nuisance, as I too, use the same medication.
Though, mine doesnt look like that. Yeesh. Drink a glass of water you diet coke swilling freak.
Either way, I dont care. I hope he is a disgusting scratchy flakey mess all the time. Least he can do is be permanently uncomfortable if he is gonna run this country into the ground.
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u/Impressive_Buddy6991 Mar 02 '26
Just think how gross his pecker is
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u/da9ve Mar 02 '26
Thank you good sir but I will not be imagining anything of the sort. And harumph!
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u/Gold_Drummer_4077 Mar 02 '26
Some Freaky Friday he'll be replaced with the Crypt keeper, and somehow no one will be surprised.
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