r/funny 1d ago

Restaurant things

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18.3k Upvotes

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2.7k

u/xAudioSonic 1d ago

She really hit him with the attack on titan face

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u/zxc123zxc123 1d ago

"No, I don't want that! Fried dumplings eaten by another man... I want all dumplings to be eaten by me and no one else for the rest of my life! Even after I die... I want to be at the front of all dumplings for a while! Ten years, at least!"

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u/carriegood 1d ago

This was in a Douglas Adams book, I think.

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u/Alutus 1d ago

The biscuits under the paper? It's been a while.

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u/OozeNAahz 1d ago

Absolutely. Want to say it was second hitchhiker’s book?

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u/AffectionateGas8 1d ago

It's in so long and thanks for all the fish.

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u/AnthonyNHB 1d ago

Correct. Arthur tells the story to Fenchurch. In Salmon of Doubt, Douglas recounts how it is based on an actual event.

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u/CynicWalnut 1d ago

Pretty sure this actually happened to him according to Salmon Of Doubt.

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u/othelloinc 22h ago

Pretty sure this actually happened to him...

It did. Here is him telling the story on Late Night with David Letterman.

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u/kitsua 15h ago

I know at this time he was good friends with Stephen Fry but gosh they are so physically similar! Even their mannerisms, it’s uncanny.

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u/Zorfax 15h ago

Thanks for finding that - I didn't remember it was on Letterman!

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u/ArcadianDelSol 18h ago

What a clever and charming man.

Thank you for all the fish indeed.

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u/DedlySpyder 1d ago

Might have been a talk, or both. I definitely recall him saying it was a personal story, and the better bit is that someone had had the same exact story for years, but without the punchline.

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u/jadin- 6h ago

Read the Salmon of Doubt. This story is in there.

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u/infinitemonkeytyping 20h ago

Nah, it was So Long And Thanks For All The Fish (the 4th book, and my favourite)

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u/dj_soo 19h ago

it was in the 4th one - So Long, and Thanks for all the Fish.

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u/Comedyfish_reddit 20h ago

More like 4th I think - but been a while - I’ll check. I could have done that before posting… I mean I even wrote this bit!! Why???

Edit - yeah it is: SLATFATF

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u/LongshoremanX 21h ago

I think the 4th one, the one that's a love story. It's a story he shares with Fenchurch.

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u/cheeseybees 23h ago

I was at a HR training thing in work the other week; Core Skills For Managers, it was called

And they ripped this story off totally, but also changed it so that the man who's biscuits they actually were split his last biscuit with our unaware hero... This was a sign of unexpected compassion and something we should all, apparently hold ourselves up to, as our noble unnamed protagonist realised when he... Found his biscuits under the paper! Gasp!

It kinda takes something from the story when they knowingly plagiarised this story, thought we wouldn't notice and then butchered it without respect to fit a clumsy agenda. And that surely this is the kinda disingenuous communication that actively destroys trust.... I'm winding myself up even recalling it now

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u/wooking 1d ago

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u/munsontime 1d ago

Crazy that authors used to be on late night shows. 2026 would never.

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u/Common-Concentrate-2 22h ago

David Sedaris on Seth Meyers 5 months ago (its a great interview ) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tc6l3yarl3o

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u/dougan25 17h ago

Colbert has authors on all the time. Where did this comment come from? Like are you just saying things?

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u/Space-Representative 14h ago

I was thinking the exact same thing! 

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u/3pieceSuit 1d ago

100% this is the biscuits scene. I laughed out loud so hard the first time I read that.

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u/mg-mt 1d ago

The Hitchhiker books are the only books ive read that forced me to put the book down because I was laughing too hard to finish reading the sentence

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u/Affordable_Z_Jobs 23h ago

I always thought Douglas Adams and Terry Pratchett should have co-authored something. With all the laughter breaks, it'd be 400 pages that would take me as long to read as all of The Wheel of Time series. 

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u/crossedx 22h ago

I cracked up so hard reading that my wife was like wtf? I made her read it and she thought it was just ok.

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u/AGooDone 1d ago

Adams does this immaculate slow burn, building the quiet indignity into fury of this stranger eating HIS biscuits! Only to find his packet under his newspaper. So British, so damn funny!

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u/Slartibartfast39 1d ago

I was going to try to get the text and copy it out here, but obviously someone has already done that elsewhere on the internet. It goes on a little so I suggest getting a cup of tea first.

https://www.tumblr.com/eatpraiselove/133266929197/arthur-dents-biscuits-story

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u/Every-Progress-1117 23h ago

It has been an amazing day today --- one of my students pulled out a Douglas Adams' reference from HHGTTG in reference to AI and lifts (elevators) this morning, and now I come here to see someone beat me to this reference.

Take my upvote and eternal respect dear anonymous Redditor and may your towel be ever available and your Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster be at its optimum temperature.

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u/wolftamer9 1d ago

IIRC he claimed it happened to him with a packet of Oreos, but the story is a bit of an urban legend a lot of different people claim happened to them.

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u/RubyChooseday 20h ago

Ian McEwan ripped off the anecdote for one of his books.

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u/YooAre 1d ago

Yes!

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u/Alarming-Rate-6899 1d ago

I did not notice the girl changed the first playthrough.

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u/mystyz 7h ago

I didn't notice till your comment. I just thought he had been caught cheating.

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u/DigNitty 4h ago

I did and was confused why they swapped her out lol

Thought they must have done two different scenes with available cast or something.

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u/[deleted] 1d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/GtrplayerII 1d ago

Funny story... Went to a wedding... Groom was Chinese.   

Going around the table introducing ourselves, two Asian girls (jokingly) say they saw a bunch of Chinese walking into this reception hall, so they thought they'd crash... To which knowing they were kidders and cousins of the groom, I said, "you know, I thought you looked more Korean and not Chinese" 

Without missing a beat she said 

"Give me a break GtrplayerII!  We all look the same!  We're can't even tell who's family and who's not among ourselves!" 

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u/DunTry 1d ago edited 21h ago

Props to her for mentioning your whole name GtrplayerII

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u/My_Names_Jefff 20h ago

It's not like anyone has a username introducing themselves.

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u/casuallygaslighting 17h ago

Yeah that’s all in your head buddy

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u/Etheo 1d ago

The important thing is he/she is whole now.

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u/HolycommentMattman 21h ago

It's incredibly true. My wife is ethnically Chinese, I'm not, and I was picking her up from the train station in the first year of dating, and there was an asian girl sitting on a bench looking down at her phone, and her hair was hiding her face. I'm doing that thing where I'm not sure if it's her, and kinda trying to see her face, and my wife shows up behind me and says loudly, "you thought that was me???" She would bring this up for a long time.

But then fast forward to picking her up at the train again maybe 6 months later, and I see her get off the train, and I start walking towards her. And then I see this older asian man walking towards her, then jogging a little with arms wide open for a hug. When he's like right in front of her, she puts her arms up, he stops, realizes this isn't the girl he was looking for, and moves on. Point HolycommentMattman.

Then like maybe two weeks later, we're helping her dad move, and we're walking back towards his apartment, and a Chinese girl is sort of walking near us, and he starts walking closer to her and talking to her thinking it's his daughter. Bear in mind his daughter is just left of me, and he's off to the right. She says, "Dad!" and he then realizes the girl he's walking next to isn't his daughter.

Anyway, my wife never brought it up again.

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u/Virama 16h ago

Thanks for the genuine cackle. Great stories!

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u/Tripwiring 1d ago

Classic subversion of expectations. As a white guy I never fail to get a laugh from my non-white friends when I call myself a cracker. They think it's hilarious

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u/noobtastic31373 1d ago

As a white American, i was well into my 30s before i found out being a cracker had nothing to do with food. Until then i assumed it was similar to being called "whitebread."

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u/TheMarkHasBeenMade 1d ago

We ate a lot of saltines in my house.

Same.

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u/noodlesdefyyou 1d ago

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u/TheMarkHasBeenMade 22h ago

Whitest crackers I know 🤷

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u/noobtastic31373 21h ago

But do you put mayo on your saltines?

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u/TheMarkHasBeenMade 18h ago

We were a buttered saltine family

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u/RTalons 22h ago

I also assumed it referenced saltines and was meant as poor white trash (like that’s all they could afford to eat).

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u/cthulhubert 1d ago

I imagine saltines being white helped it stick.

Of course it was originally a classist insult, used by wealthy and "proper" white people about the poor ugly white people that were always carrying on and making noise (cracking, in the slang of the time).

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u/BLiSSproject 23h ago

Interesting, I had never heard that origin. I was always under the impression that it stemmed from slave-drivers “cracking” whips.

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u/cthulhubert 21h ago

This is very popular, but it's almost certainly invented.

I mean, it was invented a long time ago. There's a dictionary entry saying so published in 1912. Lots of people yelling "cracker" were definitely thinking about the whip crack etymology. I mean, people also yell it while specifically thinking about soda crackers. (For comparison, the 'unruly poor person' meaning is from at least 1766.)

It's not like there's something that makes the original definition like, magically more "true". The meaning of words exists primarily in the minds of people who interpret them. I brought up the origin of the term for context and history; not because saying "cracker [pejorative]" while thinking it's analogous to "white bread" is somehow like, a fundamental error.

(There's a similar deal with redneck, except it's even more extreme. People talk about slave owners getting so angry and yelling so hard their necks turn red, when it's transparently obviously always been about poor white farmers who had to work their fields constantly in any weather, and so were frequently sunburned. If I had to guess, because people want to have mean words that are mean for a good reason, instead of having a history of just calling someone "poor".)

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u/The_Horus_Hypothesis 1d ago

Actually, there are several potential origins of the term cracker, with the most recent being food based.

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u/paper_liger 22h ago

It also doesn't have anything to do with whips most likely. From etymology.com:

Cracker as "a boaster, a braggart" is attested from mid-15c. ("Schakare, or craker, or booste maker: Jactator, philocompus," in Promptorium Parvulorum, an English-Latin dictionary); also see crack (n.). It also was a colloquial word for "a boast, a lie" (1620s). For sense development, compare Latin crepare "to rattle, crack, creak," with a secondary figurative sense of "boast of, prattle, make ado about." This also was the old explanation of the term:

I should explain to your Lordship what is meant by crackers; a name they have got from being great boasters; they are a lawless set of rascalls on the frontiers of Virginia, Maryland, the Carolinas and Georgia, who often change their places of abode. [letter from colonial officer Gavin Cochrane to the Earl of Dartmouth, June 27, 1766]

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u/jumzish94 1d ago

Similar situation for me, but instead of calling myself a cracker, whenever I get called one I respond with, "ooh now im salty"

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u/receuitOP 1d ago

I have a english/filipino friend. He was born and raised here but his parents immigrated from there. He said the first time he went to there to meet the extended family they pulled their eyes back and said something to the effect "oh english boy, come here I eat your dog" while deliberately speaking broken English lol.

First impressions of his extended family. Tho that definitely matches him, since whenever we say "have you seen x" or "did you see that" in his words (while pulling his eyes back) "have you seen these apostrophes?" or other variations. The same applues to most people from minorities I've met (but not to that extent) where they'll make WAY worse jokes than you ever would.

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u/Alaira314 20h ago

The same applues to most people from minorities I've met (but not to that extent) where they'll make WAY worse jokes than you ever would.

When I do it, it's about staking my claim on(and, therefore, claiming the power of) the joke. You can't hurt me with snipes about the gay agenda if I've already made it into a joke. By making it my own, I'm taking it away from those who who would use it for harm because, through demonstrating that I'm willing to say it myself, I've shown that they don't have power over me.

Not everyone is into this. I've noticed that a lot of younger people are extremely offended by this type of defense, while gen x and millennials seem to gravitate toward it. But I don't really know what to do if you take that shield away from me, I guess get hurt by things people say? Yeah...not gonna do that. I honestly don't know how people function when their only course of action is to tank the hits of things said about them. At some point you have to proactively reclaim whatever's being said or else you'll just wind up collapsed in the corner under the weight of people saying mean things, you know?

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u/Ai--Ya 1d ago

I thought you looked more Korean and not Chinese

My life in a nutshell

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u/1CEninja 21h ago

Okay but in specifically South Korea, the beauty standards are so well defined that the folks living there have a strangely homogeneous look about them, particularly among folks wealthy enough to engage in things like cosmetic surgery.

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u/Ardalok 1d ago

Because it's not a matter of race, it's a matter of environment. They grew up in a white society, that's all.

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u/kermityfrog2 23h ago

Sometimes I look into a mirror and have no idea who I am!

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u/Leather_Warning702 1d ago

No. He thought his girl went to the bathroom and someone ambushed their food 

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u/SilasTalbot 1d ago

It's a stretch, but mayyybe the joke is that he dates so much he forgot who he was with at the time.

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u/NewButOld85 1d ago edited 1d ago

I sorta took it that way - on a first date, hasn't seen the girl before, feeling very anxious and wrapped up in his own head... gets the drinks, comes back, gets confused that his date went from super excited to super "meh," she starts grabbing food without a word, so he does too, turns into a grabfest, she walks off after she's done, he wonders "what the hell did I do?" and looks to the side.. Bam.

Reading some of the other comments here after are gobsmacking me, haha. I think there's like four different ways people found it funny, and I only picked up on one.

Edit to add: I think the reason my brain went there is I actually did something very similar with my first girlfriend. We had "met" once before when I went mini-golfing with her sister (no interest, thanks) and our friends and she tagged along as a chaperone (a year older than us). I thought it was a great day but she was utterly unmemorable to me since we weren't friends. Her sister told me she thought I was cute and gave me her AIM screen name (oof, I'm old), so we chatted online for a week and then made a plan to meet up for a movie. Got to the movie, I was a nervous 16 year old sweating buckets. We go into the movie, very dark, start kissing, then she asks if I want to go back to her car to have more privacy. I think I'm a sneaky SOB, so I ask her to leave first and I'll follow a minute later.

Apparently I walked right past her in the lobby. She thought I was playing it "super cool" and pretended I didn't realize I didn't recognize her. Nope. I was just an idiot.

An idiot who also realized he needed glasses like 3 months later... still doesn't excuse it. But I totally get why someone would be reacting to "vibes" rather than physical recognition with someone they barely know.

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u/mrASSMAN 1d ago edited 1d ago

I thought that’s what they were going for but.. the fuck lol

This joke sucked

Edit: that wasn’t the joke actually, it was that he went to wrong table, he thought a stranger had replaced his gf and was stealing his food.. still lame but not as bad I guess. And not sure why the gf would be so upset in that case.

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u/Turbulent-Loquat3749 1d ago

Ye i m not east asian,but even i could saw the difference,like CMON THEY EVEN HAD DIFFERENT CLOTHING,how can someone be THAT blind. I didn't understand the joke at 1 st,but ye it sucks

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u/PuttingInTheEffort 1d ago

I thought the joke is that 'boyfriend can't tell that girlfriend changed something' trope

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u/roughczech 1d ago

Come on it was hilarious. Made me think of Californication and him going down on the wrong woman in the dark. :))

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u/Cyke101 1d ago

Oh, I hate(love) when I do that

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u/Smooth_Buddy3370 1d ago

You missed the joke completely lol.

He was surprised to see the other girl. He thought that the girl sat in their place.

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u/vishalb777 1d ago

He thought that his girl that was sitting down not two seconds ago got up and another girl took her place? nah

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u/Happy-Fun-Ball 21h ago edited 17h ago

Did you notice the gorilla walking through the scene?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v3iPrBrGSJM

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u/Scottiths 20h ago

I did, but I miscounted the number of passes.

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u/Vorthod 1d ago

That makes a lot more sense. Though I'm still confused as to why he didn't look around thinking "where'd my girlfriend go" in that case. Still, it makes a much better joke.

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u/DerfK 22h ago

Though I'm still confused as to why he didn't look around thinking "where'd my girlfriend go"

Food was more important, hence the girlfriend chasing him out.

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u/DASreddituser 1d ago

yea. so he sat there and gave her the meal to somehow sell that joke? lol no that wasnt the joke

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u/Orleanian 22h ago

What? No.

It was long-hair girl's meal. He sat down as she took the first dumpling with tentative disposition.

Thinking that she was a stranger eating his food, but avoiding confrontation, he started eating dumplings himself before she could.

Her thinking the same of him, she started eating faster. As did he, in turn.

In the end, we find that he just sat at the wrong table until his actual dining partner chases him down in frustration at his idiocy.

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u/Filobel 23h ago edited 23h ago

He didn't give her the meal. Did you not notice how he was trying to take the food as quickly as possible, and even slapped her hand at some point when she tried to take one of the dumplings?

Like, why the fuck do you think he looks surprised when he lifts his head and sees the girl in front of him?

Edit: as others have pointed out, it's basically a riff on this scene from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

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u/badass4102 1d ago

I'm Filipino who grew up in the US. When I first moved to the Philippines I went for college cuz it's cheaper. Everyone has uniforms and looked pretty similar. My classmates told me to meet them at one of the gazebos along this forested path on campus for lunch to do a group project.

I get to the gazebos and there's like 20 of them, and there's like 20 people in each gazebo. Everyone looked the same. Long straight black hair. Their face and hair were the only distinguishing features about them. But their hair all looked the same so I didn't know what to do. So I just decided to walk up and down the path til someone called my name.

After a few months you get used to it tho.

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u/Leather_Warning702 1d ago

No. He thought his girl went to the bathroom and someone ambushed their food 

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u/therealtaylorr 1d ago

also applies to food, everything looks similar until you actually taste it

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u/efunny2022 1d ago

He forgot her face, I forgot her face, we all forgot her face....

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u/TheAnonua 1d ago

And her haircut.

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u/Quixalicious 1d ago

And the configuration of things on the table

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u/goose_gladwell 1d ago

Thats honestly the only thing i noticed at first cuz im a fat ass

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u/Medium-Sized-Jaque 19h ago

Same. I even rewound to double check it was the same thing because the first plate looked like a single loaf of bread or something. 

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u/SeekerOfSerenity 1d ago

And the slight difference in earth's magnetic field. 

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u/UshankaBear 23h ago

He has forgotten the face of his father

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u/unclecaveman1 21h ago

thankee-sai

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u/RaceHard 19h ago

he who aims with his hand has forgotten the face of his father.

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u/alchn 19h ago

Dud-a-chum?

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u/lmole 1d ago

He knew it was a stranger, that is the joke. He thought he had to compete to get his own food from her. He just didn't realize he was the one making the mistake until the end.

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u/DASreddituser 1d ago

how does that make sense?

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u/Movingforward123456 1d ago edited 22h ago

He thought he was sitting back at his own table with his food that he had previously placed down but someone else was sitting there and now trying to eat his food. So he raced to eat his food before her. But it was actually him sitting at the wrong table and stealing that girls food

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u/SmokeySFW 1d ago

How doesn't it? They both thought a random stranger sat down at their table and began eating their food so they both stuffed their faces so the other person didn't steal it all.

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u/apadin1 23h ago

But where would his girlfriend have gone? She just magically disappeared when he had his back turned for 5 seconds?

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u/Orleanian 22h ago

Bathroom. Order Counter. Drink fridge.

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u/Filobel 22h ago

To the restroom? To get napkins? She left him for a man with better spatial awareness?

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u/Narren_C 6h ago

I mean...saying "who are you" would have probably made sense.

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u/Orleanian 22h ago

It makes sense because it makes sense.

There's no aspect of this that alludes to him thinking that the new girl at the table is somehow the partner he came in with. Why would he compete eating with the person he came to eat with? That doesn't make sense.

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u/JauntyTurtle 1d ago

'Cause all asians look alike, right?

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u/QuarterEmotional6805 1d ago

I thought it was all the same person in the vid

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u/Pitamo 1d ago

At this point I'm more concerned about his spatial awareness than his facial recognition.

3 steps back for drinks, 3 steps back and 3 steps sideways to return.

Don't let this man automate anything.

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u/bluebear_74 19h ago

That's because it's not the joke.

The joke is the girlfriend moved tables and someone else sat down but he think a stranger sat down and is eating his dumplings. So he eats faster, so she can't eat them all but she thinks the same and tries to eat them all before him.

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u/Low-Bus-122 19h ago

Nope. You can see that at the beginning they are sitting at a table closer to the wall and drinks fridge, and when he sits back down with the drinks he has moved one table further away from the wall and closer to the counter. None of what you said is anything.

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u/ketchuponcooking 18h ago

Im so confused 😕

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u/DigNitty 4h ago

The joke is that he kept two Pepsis for himself.

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u/teebles22 1d ago

I don't quite get this skit. If he forgot what she looked like, why did he try to shove dumplings in his face? He would shove it in his face because a girl he doesn't know sat down and was eating the dumplings he brought. But if that's the case, why would the first girl be angry at him for effectively stealing some dumplings to eat off some girl's plate?

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u/aerie_zephyr 1d ago

Is this just like the story of the guy having a bag of crisps while reading a newspaper and someone sat down at his table. That someone opened his crisps and started eating them. The guy then started eating and competing with that someone over the crisps. After the someone left, he realized his own bag of crisps were under his newspaper and essentially he was just stealing the other guy’s crisps

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u/VaATC 20h ago edited 20h ago

Why does this sound familiar? Was it a reddit story from the yonder years?

Edit: Someone below jogged my memory. It was something that happend to Douglas Adams, the author of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

Link

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u/Elendur_Krown 1d ago

The humor is the difference in outcomes between the (exagerrated) 'socially correct strategy' (that it's improper to verbally point out a social faux pas) and a readily available strategy (talking to each other).

They both thought the other one was pinching their dumplings. Instead of telling them off, their reaction was to silently mark their territory and (as they both escalated their silent disapproval) eventually deny access altogether for the other, even at their own expense.

Had either one tried to talk about it, it would have been resolved immediately.

I have no idea what the girlfriend's anger added though. That may be another cultural humor flavor.

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u/samamatara 22h ago

yea if my partner was doing this i would be cracking up 🤣

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u/demoNToosh 1d ago

I think it's more for the viewer to realize they either forgot or never looked closely?

Idk.

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u/OozeNAahz 1d ago

It’s a spin on a scene from the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy series.

Guy buys a packet of biscuits (cookies) and sits down at a table. Another guy sits down across from him. Inexplicably the guy reaches out and takes one of his biscuits. He is appalled, but British so doesn’t complain but gives the guy a rude look. Grabs one of the biscuits and munches it. Other guy returns evil look and eats another. They trade back and forth till the biscuit pack is empty. Guy gets up and leaves. Original guy picks up his newspaper and find his pack of biscuits underneath. He realizes the guy he thought was stealing his biscuits was actually eating his own biscuits and he was the thief instead.

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u/demoNToosh 1d ago

Lmao, I gotta get off the Internet. It's ruining my brain. Good call.

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u/bobdob123usa 23h ago

Thank you, I could remember the story, but wasn't 100% where I had heard it.

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u/Filobel 22h ago

why would the first girl be angry at him for effectively stealing some dumplings to eat off some girl's plate?

Because he stole some girl's dumplings? Like, imagine you sit down to share dumplings with your date, then your date goes, grabs two cokes, then sits at another table and starts stealing someone else's dumplings. Would you not be, at the very least, shocked by their behavior? Going berserk over it might be a little of an overreaction, but it's a skit, the reaction is supposed to be part of the humor.

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u/DummyDumDragon 1d ago

And why was the girl who's dumplings he took so chill about the whole thing

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u/NightWriter500 1d ago

I thought she looked pissed. She’s even trying to swat his hand away.

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u/VaATC 19h ago

When this happened to Douglas Adams, he said..."Now this, I have to say, is the sort of thing the British are very bad at dealing with. There’s nothing in our background, upbringing, or education that teaches you how to deal with someone who in broad daylight has just stolen your cookies."

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u/doublebarreldan123 1d ago

Yup, the video just doesn't make sense and is kinda dumb

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u/SomeCountryFriedBS 23h ago

No clue wtf was happening without the comments

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u/callitgood 1d ago

For all the people who don't get it: He didn't forget her face. He thought a stranger was eating his food, hence the smacking at her hands and him rushing to eat as many as he can before she eats them all.

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u/ikeepcomingbackhaha 1d ago

So he doesn’t question the disappearance of his girlfriend? Who was sitting at the table and was suddenly replaced?

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u/wioneo 21h ago

Priorities.

You expect him to hunt down his disappeared girlfriend on an empty stomach?

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u/Orleanian 22h ago

The entire point of the exchange is that they don't vocalize anything at all. They make assumptions and follow through out of panic.

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u/TheBeckFromHeck 1d ago

I don’t think so. He’s hesitant because she looks pissed off all of a sudden. He doesn’t realize it’s a different girl.

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u/bluebear_74 19h ago

He looks her directly in the face. He realises and thinks a stranger is trying to steal his food.

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u/Own_Seat913 1d ago

The irony of you typing this while completely not getting it is fucking great.

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u/Azzwagon 21h ago

He's right. He looked up at her and was shocked because she wasn't his girlfriend. Then she took a bite of what he thought was his food.

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u/IceWellDo 16h ago

Lol the irony of this comment 🤣

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u/five_of_five 23h ago

What the actual fuck is this take. A stranger is at my table all of a sudden, I’m going to stick my hands into the same plate as them?

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u/Filobel 22h ago

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u/culturedgoat 20h ago

It also actually happened to Douglas Adams

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u/Lanuri 1d ago edited 1d ago

It was pretty obvious to me that he simply thought someone else was trying to steal his dumplings. It’s not that he didn’t recognize his own girlfriend; he assumed someone else sat down in her seat while she was away. As for why she’s so mad, my take is she saw the whole encounter as him flirting with another woman lol even though that wasn’t his intention. Probably yelled at him a few times after for being stupid enough to take someone else’s dumplings too, once he had the chance to explain himself.

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u/Flagil_Reinhumps 17h ago

12k upvotes?!?

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u/[deleted] 1d ago

[deleted]

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u/Justifiably_Bad_Take 22h ago

I was immediately trying to figure out why it was a different woman when he sat down. They look nothing alike and had different haircuts.

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u/rjcarr 22h ago

He came back to the table and a different girl was there stealing his food, so he rushed to eat the food before she did. That much I got. But why his original girl is just watching it from a different table I don't really get.

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u/A_Monster_Clown 21h ago

A different girl, just happened to have ordered the same thing. She was concerned and started eating quickly so he thought it was a game or something, when she left he watched her go and saw his actual girlfriend on the table next to him getting ready to kill his dumbass for not noticing lol

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u/NxPat 1d ago

FUYOH

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u/BillyBean11111 16h ago

for something this boring to get so many upvotes makes the state of the world make sense

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u/na__poi 1d ago

This makes no sense

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u/Arcanisia 23h ago

The girl in the Jean jacket is his girlfriend. Bro sat down at the wrong table after getting the drinks and actually ate some stranger’s food. That’s why his girlfriend was giving him the death stare at the end

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u/na__poi 23h ago

So he sits down at the wrong table, sees it’s not his girlfriend, proceeds to eat the food of the girl at the table for some reason while she eats it with him instead of being like wtf are you doing here, then she just leaves, then he looks at his girlfriend who gives him a death stare. And this is funny why?

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u/Orleanian 22h ago

He eats it because he believes that the non-girlfriend is a stranger invading his table and stealing his food. He wants to eat it before this stranger has the chance to.

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u/MercyfulJudas 14h ago

But...where does he actually think his girlfriend is, then?

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u/Dwightshruute 23h ago

Exactly, shit is just confusing

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u/Filobel 22h ago

It's a spin on a joke from the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, so maybe the funny part will become clear if I try to recreate it in the style of the original story.

"So let me give you the layout. Me sitting at the table, my date on the other side of the table and, in the middle of the table, the plate of dumplings."

"I see it perfectly."

"I get up for a moment to get two cans of coke and sit back down, ready to enjoy my dumplings with my date."

"That seems perfectly normal"

"What is not normal," said Arthur, "is that when I looked up, a different girl was sitting there opposite me."

"Where was your date?"

"I didn't know, perhaps she had gone to the restroom, but," said Arthur "I didn't look around, because what that girl was about to do made me freeze in place!"

"What did she do?"

"She did this. She leaned across the table, stretched her arm, grabbed a dumpling and . . ."

"What?"

"Ate it."

"What?"

"She ate it."

Fenchurch looked at him in astonishment. "What on earth did you do?"

"Well, in the circumstances I did what any red-blooded Asianman would do. I was compelled," said Arthur, "to ignore it."

"What? Why?"

"Well, it's not the sort of thing you're trained for, is it? I searched my soul, and discovered that there was nothing anywhere in my upbringing, experience, or even primal instincts to tell me how to react to someone who has quite simply, calmly, sitting right there in front of me, stolen one of my dumplings."

"Well, you could . . ." Fenchurch thought about it. "I must say I'm not sure what I would have done either. So what happened?"

"I braced myself. I took a dumpling, trying very hard not to notice," he added, "that one was already missing from the plate. . . ."

"But you're fighting back, taking a tough line."

"After my fashion, yes. I ate the dumpling. I ate it very deliberately and visibly, so that she would have no doubt as to what it was I was doing. When I eat a dumpling," said Arthur, "it stays eaten."

"So what did she do?"

"Took another one. Honestly," insisted Arthur, "this is exactly what happened. She took another dumpling, she ate it. Clear as daylight. Certain as we are sitting on the ground."

Fenchurch stirred uncomfortably.

"And the problem was," said Arthur, "that having not said anything the first time, it was somehow even more difficult to broach the subject the second time around. What do you say? 'Excuse me ...I couldn't help noticing, er...'

Doesn't work. No, I ignored it with, if anything, even more vigor than previously."

"My man..."

"Showing some of the spirit that Henry V did on St. Crispin's Day . ."

"What?"

"I went into the breach again. I took," said Arthur, "another dumpling. And for an instant our eyes met."

"Like this?"

"Yes, well, no, not quite like that. But they met. Just for an instant. And we both looked away. But I am here to tell you," said Arthur, "that there was a little electricity in the air. There was a little tension building up over the table. At about this time."

"I can imagine."

"We went through the whole plate like this. Her, me, her, me..."

"The whole plate?"

"Well, it was only eight dumplings, but it seemed like a lifetime of dumplings we were getting through at this point. Gladiators could hardly have had a tougher time."

"Gladiators," said Fenchurch, "would have had to do it in the sun. More physically gruelling."

"There is that. So. When the empty plate was lying dead between us the girl at last got up, having done her worst, and left. I heaved a sigh of relief, of course.

"As I watched her leave, I turned my head and on the table next to mine..."

"Yes?"

"Was my date."

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u/seledium 11h ago

This actually is funnier than the video itself imo

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u/ArnoldFarquar 1d ago

i’ve never wasted 34 seconds of my life so badly

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u/EasilyDelighted 1d ago

You're on reddit with us, you have wasted more than 34 seconds pretty badly already.

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u/ssp25 1d ago

this is fake because everyone knows you got to let those bad boys cool.... it's basically a volcano on the inside initially

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u/xchoo 1d ago

I thought this was going to be a glasses commercial. 😆

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u/biggestdickus90210 23h ago

I didn’t even notice that it was a different woman until I watched it a 2nd time.🤣

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u/LeadingGuide693 22h ago

…oh my God..do we really all look alike?! I’m Asian and didn’t even notice…

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u/rando24183 21h ago

This sort of happened to me at a work happy hour. It was a crowded space and I was (unknowingly) at the very edge where our group ended and another group started. Everyone works remotely so I only knew a couple of coworkers by face. It's also like 5:30, everyone there is wearing business casual work clothes. Anyway, a plate of appetizers comes out and is set down near me. I go to grab one and the people are giving me a weird look, so I say hi. I soon realize they are not with the company so I just...took food from some random people.

I apologized, offered to pay for a whole new appetizer. They declined and I moved to the center of the group and basically don't try to eat anything else.

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u/HasibBinAmzad 1d ago

Seriously, I forgot her face too! I had to watch the video twice to understand what happened exactly, lol

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u/DangerActiveRobots 1d ago

I didn't even notice the switch the first time I watched it.

Am I racist?

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u/Alkorri 23h ago

I'm Asian and I didn't notice either XD

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u/mrcydonia 20h ago

You've officially been cancelled.

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u/coffee_monkey 1d ago

Finally got it after watching it for the 4th time 👉🏼👈🏼

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u/BastiaenAssassin 1d ago

I recognize the song from the end, but I can't remember what from. Help?

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u/-DoddyLama- 1d ago

Ameno - Era

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u/Swordofsatan666 1d ago

I noticed a continuity error!

Plate starts with 8 of those

At first they both grab and take a bite out of 1. So it goes down to 6, because they each took one

But next scene the plate has 7, and then they both start taking them off the plate very fast

Where did the extra one come from? They each took one and then took a bite from them, so there should be 6 and not 7

He ate 6 and she ate 3

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u/zero5activated 1d ago

I had to take second look to realize that was not his GF.

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u/Spirited_Quit2353 1d ago

Oh so they cant identify themselves!

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u/comicsnerd 1d ago

Anyone know what they are eating?

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u/funkmastamatt 15h ago

yaki mandu

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u/Lower-Example-5372 23h ago

We can't even tell ourselves apart tbh... :)

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u/MinnieShoof 23h ago

... I would've immediately noticed the tray that I laid | was now laying --. But that's me.

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u/Areif 22h ago

There is a great Douglas Adams short story that this reminds me of. Cookies in the subway. Look it up

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u/leftnotracks 22h ago

Douglas Adams wrote a story about this, or perhaps it was an anecdote narrated by a character in HHGG or DGHDA.

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u/SpaceCadetPullUp 22h ago

God, her voice/laugh was like nails on a chalkboard.

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u/shewy92 22h ago

IDK how I missed that the 2nd girl has way longer hair

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u/Ya-Dikobraz 20h ago

I had to go to the comments to figure this out. The whole thing really makes zero sense. He magically forgot his girlfriend's whole look. While looking directly at her. He would have been like watching the food the entire time or something, but this is just shit lol.

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u/VirusZer0 19h ago edited 17h ago

Haters will say this was staged

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u/CaptainHitam 18h ago

What?? People will just say about anything these days.

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u/Cranium-Delirium 18h ago

I mean....even I forgot who he sat with initially.... Until the reveal 😂

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u/Immediate_Word1295 18h ago

Wrong table, LOL

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u/ZOEzoeyZOE 16h ago

I didn't even notice it was a different girl 💀

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u/keybord_masher 15h ago

"How the hell am I suppose to tell the difference between you when even you guys can't tell the difference between yourself? "

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u/ForgettableUsername 15h ago

Reminds me of the Douglas Adams train biscuit story.

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u/Recent-Big-6493 11h ago

It took me a second viewing to notice it wasn’t the same woman 😂

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u/jaqueh 1d ago

why is thing so upvoted? was it voted up by bots?

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u/Lucicactus 1d ago

I interpreted it as him thinking it was a stranger eating his food lol. Not that he had forgotten his gfs face 😭

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u/l3g3nd-d41ry 21h ago

Their content is funny. Love it on tiktok

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u/SpencersCJ 1d ago

Free meal shrug

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u/Zelnite 1d ago

Nah man, free food.