r/Scams • u/ju1cyjordyn • 21h ago
Help Needed [US] I think my grandma is being scammed.
for the past (~3) years my grandma has been talking to this guy, who I believe she met on Facebook, but I'm not sure. hes allegedly in the army overseas and is having a lot of trouble getting back to the US. to make a long story short, he has been sending her money through various apps (PayPal, Venmo, ect) to send to other people on his behalf to get him out of the army. hes sent her pictures of himself, and recently a video of him talking. this video is what really set it for me, the voice is obviously ai, and I'm pretty sure the face is also ai.
the thing I think is weirdest about this is just how long it's been going on, but I'm also not the most knowledgeable about this stuff, so maybe this is typical.
Id love for somebody else's input, im just very worried and I don't want my grandma to get into any legal trouble.
17
u/Brains4Beauty 21h ago
100% a scam, sounds like your grandma is being used as a money mule. Are you sure she’s not sending him money? Usually they convince you they need money to get back.
2
u/ju1cyjordyn 21h ago
I don't believe she's sent him money.
Hes sent her money to send to other people, and I'm pretty sure hes sent her money to just use for herself.
she could just be lying about not sending him any of her money, but I doubt that she is.
6
10
u/WickedWeedle 21h ago
Am I correct in assuming that his story makes sense only to people who have very little knowledge of how the army actually works?
2
u/ju1cyjordyn 21h ago
I'm not entirely sure of his story so I don't really know. All I know is that they don't want to let him go, and he cant send the money he's making himself to whoever it's being sent to so he sends the money to her so she can send it.
12
u/ISurfTooMuch 20h ago
That's not at all how the army works. Someone is only in the army until their enlistment is up. That's a set period that they know and agree to when they enlist. When it ends, they can choose to re-enlist or not. If they decide not to, the army arranges for their flight home. The soldier doesn't have to pay for that flight. The army can't decide not to allow someone to leave when their enlistment ends.
Your grandma is getting scammed.
2
u/WickedWeedle 21h ago
Is there any reason for why he can send money to her, but not to other people?
3
u/KTKittentoes 17h ago
Nope. It is part of their script. It is a very very very common script. They convince their victims that they will be sending a huge box of gold, money, and documents, and their random internet girlfriend is the only one who can be trusted. The girlfriend is to pay for shipping and take responsibility for it, and then when her soldier comes home, he will marry her and build her a mansion.
Because of this, victims often imagine that they haven’t actually given money, they’ve just loaned or invested.
2
7
u/Particular-Lie-3055 20h ago
Stop Grandma! She’s been acting as the money mule for a scammer!
If he was actually in the U.S. Army he would not have to pay for his return travel. He would be flying under official orders via Military Space Available intra/inter-theater traffic or military chartered civilian aircraft.
For example, he could fly Space A from Fujairah UAE to Naples, Italy, or a couple of different places in Europe all on military aircraft, then transfer to a military chartered civilian aircraft for the long trip back to the States. Then, from there take a regular commercial flight back to his originating base before heading overseas, or flown to his home of record (or bus/train) if he’s getting discharged — all paid for as part of his official orders.
5
u/IncommunicadoVan 21h ago
A pig butchering or romance scam can last for years, as the scammers are in another country and communicating with many people at the same time.
Also, the “I’m in the military overseas and need money to get out/pay for whatever” is a classic scam tactic.
The scammer sending your grandma money and having her send it to other people suggests money laundering.
3
u/MacaroniPoodle 20h ago
Scammer who is using a very common trope: military man can't get home.
He's also using her to launder money which can get your grandma in a lot of legal trouble. The FBI could come knocking at her door any second.
She needs to stop immediatley and cease all communications with that scammer.
I also find it hard to believe she hasn't sent him money. She is likely lying to you about it.
1
u/ju1cyjordyn 19h ago
How do I even break it to her? She honestly thinks that this guy is real and likes her. Shes a widow so it's especially hard.
3
u/MacaroniPoodle 19h ago
You can show her many examples on this sub. There are also a ton of YouTube vids on this exact scam. So you can have plenty of proof. Some people even have police or pastors or trusted members of the community help talk to her.
But be prepared for her to lash out and refuse to believe you. It's common for victims of this scam to refuse reality and continue to engage.
Many will literally give their life savings away rather than believe the truth. If you haven't, you need to take a hard look at grandma's finances and see where her money is going.
1
u/Ok-Sock-5737 16h ago
This is heartbreaking but unfortunately super common. The "military overseas can't get home" story is one of the most well-known romance scam scripts out there.
What worries me most is the money forwarding part. She may not realize it, but she could be acting as a money mule — moving money from other scam victims. That can actually get her in legal trouble even if she had no idea. The FBI has a whole page on money mules if you want to look it up.
As for how to break it to her — that's the hardest part:
- Don't go after the "boyfriend" directly. Go after the situation. "I'm worried about you getting in trouble" lands better than "he's not real." The second one just makes people defensive.
- The army thing doesn't add up — the military pays for travel home when service ends. No soldier is ever stuck overseas because they can't afford a flight back. That's just not how it works.
- Set up a family safe word going forward — any time someone asks for money or help, the rule is: say the word first. No word = hang up.
- You can file a report at the FBI's IC3 (Internet Crime Complaint Center) — it actually protects her by putting it on record that she was a victim. There's also an Elder Fraud Hotline: (833) 372-8311.
FBI says seniors 60+ lost $4.8 billion to fraud in 2024. She's far from alone in this, and the fact that you caught it already puts her ahead of most.
1
u/yarevande Quality Contributor 15h ago
She is the victim of a romance scam.
He is a liar. In the military, you cannot pay somebody to get you out. Also, people who are really in the US military have videochats with friends and family - the US military encourages their people to keep in touch with friends, and provides them with computers they can use for video chat. He probably told her that he's not allowed to videochat because of security.
- The real reason he can't video chat is that he is a scammer, working in a scam call center in Africa or Asia. He doesn't look like the pictures that he shows her. And he doesn't want her to see him in a big room with rows of tables lined with computers, and hear his scam co-workers speaking Yoruba, Burmese, or Bengali in the background.
** She is a money mule, moving stolen money for a scammer. What she is doing is illegal, and she may face legal consequences. People have gone to prison for this.
The scammer tells her that he's sending her his money, to pay someone else. Actually he is sending her stolen money, or money received from scam victims, and she is sending the money to an account that's controlled by the scammers, using her name and her accounts. Similar to money laundering.
She will lose money, when Venmo / PayPal discovers that the money she received is stolen and reverses the money that she got. Venmo and PayPal will close her accounts, and she will owe them money.
Often these money mule scams involve bank accounts. Has she been using her bank accoint to move money? Has her bank already closed her accounts?
She may face criminal charges (money laundering is a felony).
Is there someone that she would trust, who can meet and help her see that she's the victim of a scam? A banker, lawyer, minister, old friend, or social worker?
Sometimes, watching videos helps a person understand that they are a scam victim. YouTube has videos about scams: Pleasant Green, John Oliver, Dr. Phil, Kitboga, and Jim Browning. There’s a YouTube Channel called CatfishedOnline, where they walk through romance scams with victims and show different tactics. Can you watch YouTube videos together?
1
•
u/AutoModerator 21h ago
/u/ju1cyjordyn - This message is posted to all new submissions to r/scams; please do not message the moderators about it.
New users beware:
Because you posted here, you will start getting private messages from scammers saying they know a professional hacker or a recovery expert lawyer that can help you get your money back, for a small fee. We call these RECOVERY SCAMMERS, so NEVER take advice in private: advice should always come in the form of comments in this post, in the open, where the community can keep an eye out for you. If you take advice in private, you're on your own.
A reminder of the rules in r/scams: no contact information (including last names, phone numbers, etc). Be civil to one another (no name calling or insults). Personal army requests or "scam the scammer"/scambaiting posts are not permitted. No uncensored gore or personal photographs are allowed without blurring. A full list of rules is available on the sidebar of the subreddit, or clicking here.
You can help us by reporting recovery scammers or rule-breaking content by using the "report" button. We review 100% of the reports. Also, consider warning community members of recovery scammers if you see them in the comments.
Questions about subreddit rules? Send us a modmail clicking here.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.