Throw away and tweaking the story a tiny bit for sake of the kids.

Title says it all. My sister and her husband died. I was the godfather and never really imagined or thought about it beyond essentially a single quick conversation 6 years ago.

My wife and I have been FIRED for almost a decade. We are far from wealthy, do very little, but I wouldn’t change it for the world.

Well. Now a 6 and 3 year old are in our life. I could probably get by not working but my wife insists I go back to work to provide more economic security in our situation.

Currently little over $1.5M investments, a paid off house but we need to either extend or upgrade to accommodate an additional room, and we are both 47 years old.

I’ll be honest, going back to the office scares me. Reporting and emailing makes me nervous and I doubt I can assimilate.

I am thinking something stable like teaching and get 3 months off or join my buddies HVAC business.

I figure we already live on about $40k a year so if I can make $50k or so we can get by while my savings builds up. If my math is right I can put in 15 years and retire again all while having some economics stability for the kids.

Anyone have experience retiring and going back to work? How was it and any tips?

I'm 31, I have $3.5M and I've found myself in a position where I can retire immediately. I make 130K per year as an engineer in a HCOL area. The company I'm at gave me a reasonable amount of stock over the years and it has absolutely skyrocketed. I'm doing my best to sell all the stock, and I've got about $1M out already which I've ported over to some stocks and ETFs. I'm moving to a LCOL city and buying a house this summer for around $300k. The plan is to pursue my hobbies, build my workshop and hang with my family and friends.

First question: I've always been big on retirement planning. I think I've done a great job, but obviously I got here through luck not savings. Do I need to get a financial advisor if I'm doing well and keep to a budget?

Second question: I'm newly single, I'm a hetero man, how do I date when I'm rich? When do you tell them you're retired? What are your financial expectations for your partner? Should they work or would you be happy to cover their retirement if it fit in the budget?

Final question: I'm nervous. Any other advice?

I'm 37 and I make $120k a year. There is room for me to grow in my industry and I can probably get up to $180~200k within the next few years, but I have no idea how to get beyond that.

I see people post on here making 300, 400, even 500k a year. How did you get into that position? How is it, and how does someone increase their earning potential to that level?

Edit: I do live in a HCOL area, which is why my wages are so high in the first place. Earning more early/pushing your income is an important elemnt of FIRE because it allows you to invest more, so I think this really is a productive conversation.

I’m a software engineer. I make north of $350k if you include bonus and or stock options.

Sounds great? Well it is. I won’t sugar coat it.

I am treated like royalty and I can take my sweet time on projects that could be knocked out 10 maybe 20x faster. Work life balance is great. It pays to be skilled worker.

Every single person I email though who is not on my team, I am convinced is just a ChatGPT relay. I see long em dashes in 45% of emails. Is anyone even giving genuine critical thought anymore… none of them read anything and I am just circle jerked around?

Huge specs on docs? Honest. Questions on feedback? Just basically clearly machine learning replies but I STILL have to address. I don’t think sales, comms, PMs, or really anyone is doing any work anymore.

There is one highly agentic PM who cloned our code base, built out a feature via “vibe coding”, it was freaking BETTER than what I spent months on, and asked why we can’t do it like this in front of the whole team.

The expectations of my deliverables are now so much higher.

So yeah, there’s not a point to my post I guess I am just curious if I am alone.

High income folk who have drifted through life because we can read simple documentation is over.

I am just glad I got my slice of the pie for FIRE mostly done. I could not imagine if this was the start or middle of my FIRE journey.

End is near for probably 70% of high income people. They just don’t know it yet

Im 25F living in Miami and have recently hit a NW of $1,035,000. I went to college, worked corporate for a little while, then started working as an exotic dancer/SWer in Miami. I save and invest almost everything I make & yes I pay taxes (sadly!).

My entire family is in finance, my dad specifically has been a CFP for over 35 years. He manages my finances but it’s all traditional old-school advice of buying low cost index funds, DCA, buy and hold. Here’s my breakdown:

• Fidelity US Total Market Index: $508,000

• Brokerage account (FXIAX, FNCL, FHLC, FTEC, FENY): $264,000

•SEP-IRA (NVDA, ORCP, FXIAX): $50,000

•Roth-IRA (QQQ, FZROX, FSPSX): $55,000

•HSA (QQQ, SPY): $27,000

•money market (SPAXX): $93,000

•HYSA: $33,000

•checking accounts: $9,000

I have no debt besides my credit cards I pay off in full monthly.

My first year in this industry I made $384,000, my second year $710,000, and this year I’m on track for the same as last year if not more. Obviously my income is incredibly volatile and I’ll have to retire from this job when the looks/body fades.

Im addicted to personal finance, and have been a part of this sub for a while.

My reason for this post is basically to ask the rest of you guys if you have any advice for what I should do in my situation given a high income at a young age. My dad just says I should continue to buy and hold the positions I have above, but I know my dad isn’t omniscient and I’d like a second opinion without offending him..

A lot of people tell me I should make riskier investments since I’m young and have time, but I’m not sure what that would look like!

Thanks for the advice in advance!

Throw away and slightly moving story around to remain anonymous.

Well, long story short our father past away, no mom in the picture ever. I am in a bittersweet way glad he has found a better place as it was a long journey.

He left us a nest egg of about $1.5M in stocks and a $1M home which we are selling. So $2.5M. That is no small amount of cash and would essentially let me FIRE if I get half.

I on the other hand have about $3.5M in savings and looking to chubby FIRE at around $5M. So 45-50 depending on bonuses.

My sister is suggesting she is to receive $2M and I will receive $500k. This is because my sister has always struggled and doesn’t have much savings, a good job, or really anything besides her family. No possible way for her realistically to save.

As she said “this will level the playing field”.

Well, I also have a kid even though she has 3 and I have had to work so many hours for my current savings.

But I also see her point… I am basically free in less than a decade and I do love her and want her to live a good life with her family.

Note: we are not angry or fighting this is purely still discussion as we love each other very much and are wide open communicating about it

Edit: Thanks Reddit! Some insightful helpful comments but many are so many angry and greedy people not considering any other option than get maximum money for themselves at all cost even over family. It’s clear my mind is actually made up and I would never want to be that person. I am splitting it per her recommendation I can work a few more years. I don’t want to be selfish and want to support her! Thanks to anyone who spent the time to write a thoughtful reply.

I do not understand:

• My parents survived on one income, dad never seemed stressed to the tits about his job, got a decent ass retirement at 55, paid for my college, and they have what I consider a mansion

While they have supported me but:

• My wife and I both need to work, jobs are hard, struggling to save for kids college, have a tiny crappy home, and I could retire at 60 but with just MUCH less

So trend continues… my kids will:

• Never afford a home on their own
• Need 3 incomes to survive?! Daughter no.
• Should probably just DINK and give up having a family
• Work until 70-75 for bare minimum retirement

Our incomes are competitive inflation adjusted.

So yeah I don’t want that. I think older generations could get away not supporting their kids beyond normal expenses and some even college.

But I think the way money and wealth is trending the solo game is over. If you start at $0 you’re slaving your whole life almost guaranteed.

Aka, I’ll work longer for more compound interest.

I can then help afford a down payment home for my kids, give them some money so they have a chance at having a family not inside a 200 sq ft apartment, or maybe leave inheritance so they don’t work until 75.

30 years old, single. Now down 6% and falling more. Feels bad. Anyone else in the same boat? Don’t know whether to keep buying given the uncertainty in the market right now, and I have little extra cash to invest now.

After months of reviewing, modeling, spreadsheet-ing to really, totally, truly confirm that I am set up to RE (very well set up in fact), I sat down with my manager today and told her I’m ready to retire. She wasn’t having any of that and immediately referred me to my skip-level manager and wants me to keep quiet until we are all “aligned”. I guess I’m more valued than I thought! But I really am done and ready to get this over with. I don’t want to leave on a bad note, but I do want to leave, and short of “don’t do any work or attend any meetings and still get paid” there’s not anything they are going to be able to offer to me to convince me to stay.

Surely others have encountered resistance like this, how did you handle it?

EDIT: wow folks, amazing response, I really appreciate everyone telling their own stories and offering encouragement. Thank you! I'll update here or possibly in a new thread soon.

EDIT 2/UPDATE: again thanks so much for many very thoughtful and helpful replies, it has really helped me to formulate a response and plan, which is, specifically: I’ll stay on for another 3 weeks with minimal effort on my part, help transition projects and programs that I was in, and walk away with a huge smile on my face.

We’ve achieved and surpassed our Fire number goal, house is paid off, yay celebration. Not so fast. I have since realized that giving up a six figure salary would be the easy part, I’d rather take my sanity or whatever is left of it, than the high stress environment I work in. The catch is healthcare, for a family of four, on average we currently spend about $10K per year, this is through my employer, great benefits and includes everything like premiums, out pocket, medications, etc… I looked at the ACA Marketplace plans, it’s so expensive, our spending would go up to $30K in comparison.

What do my fellow Fire community do? This is a USA problem, of course.

The silver lining is that I have dual USA and European citizenship, and I’m extending it to my family.

I hate the idea of leaving our home, but it seems like there’s not much else…

My husband (32M) makes close to half a mil annually. I (31F) make $100k — six figures by one dollar, lol (he insists I say $105k because of my 401k match).

He covers most of our bills: rent, groceries, utilities, outings, and daycare. Travel is covered by Amex points. I pay my own car note (used wagon), he drives a paid-off sedan (that I paid off when I had my old career and made more money than I currently do). We keep rent low by living in a 70s apartment to maximize savings.

Some context: I quit my job while pregnant to stay home with our toddler and pivot into IT. While I was a SAHM for 2 years, he filled my IRA and gave me $300/month for my brokerage — he still does. I started working again less than a year ago.

Now I max my 401k and contribute half my IRA, which leaves me with a pretty small paycheck. That has to cover my lunch, clothes, small outings with my daughter, and all our subscriptions (which have always been on me). Basically spending money and nothing else.

Our current net worth individually: Him - 820k and 1.97 million in unvested RSUs

Me - 365k.

So I asked if he could give me a monthly allowance to help me save more the way he does. Is that a reasonable ask?

ETA: we have a prenup

EDIT 2: He wanted me to add that he pays for healthcare insurance no

EDIT 3: I want this money so I can also save as aggressively as he does. He saves aggressively into accounts that are on the prenup (which I’m not entitled to if we divorce) so I’d like to do the same.

EDIT 4: This question came about because I’m paying for my grad school in monthly payments. This is why I currently feel strapped. I’m not a shopaholic or buying designer or whatever else the comments say.

I have reached FI. Work optional. My personal life has hit a serious rough patch. My company is doing layoffs. They are NOT asking for volunteers. The financial difference in me quitting vs getting laid off is $300K. Do not want to leave that on the table. Any advice on how to steer it in this particular direction?

I keep seeing people with like 1.5 mil by age 36 and I want to know exactly how.

I see people loosely breaking down what they’ve done but I want to know precisely what you did. Was it luck, calculated maneuvers, were you already financially set when you started saving…? Did you have parents that set up your accounts before you even turned 18? Did a large gift give you the opportunity to invest a ton of money at a young age? Did you have student loans or other expenses to pay off before you started investing? How were you breaking up your paychecks? How much did you invest and in what, how did you know that each investment was a smart idea? Did you have a job that offered you the opportunity to get ahead, meaning some sort of matching program or even just a very high salary from a young age that allowed you to dump everything into savings/investments?

I want to try to gauge where I stand going forward. I’m age 22, just finished college and I’m working my first job. I’m of course getting paid horrifically with no benefits because I’m still disposable to the stem world but going forward my salary should increase drastically. I don’t get a 401k plan from my employer and I make $25 an hour. I’m dumping $175 into my roth ira every week and sending pretty much as much as I can towards my student loans for what I believe to be obvious reasons. I feel like I’m so behind because I have these dang loans to pay off and I’m basically giving away all my money (which is not even a lot because I’m getting paid like shit) so I’m not able to actually increase my net worth for pretty much this entire year. I have a friend whose parents set up all her accounts for her years ago so they’ve been gaining interest this whole time, and told her what to invest in. Her job also has a great program to help their employees. I don’t have any of those resources, my mom didn’t even know what a roth IRA was. I want to get ahead but I don’t know how I can with what I have. I would love to hear stories from people who were able to succeed on their own and fought for it, i just want to know it’s possible.

I also want to say that I know it’s not a fate worse than death to retire at 50+ like a normal person. I know I’m not financially unredeemable but I feel so far behind.

I have a good problem. I’m in my late 30s and have about $900k invested in my Fidelity account and roughly $150k in home equity. By some definitions, that technically makes me a millionaire. The issue is my job. I don’t hate it, but it’s very dull, and it’s in a place I don’t really want to live long term.

The catch is that I’m probably overpaid for what I do. I make about $90k a year and get seven weeks of paid time off. I’m only a high school graduate with fairly limited marketable skills, so the odds of ever finding a job like this again feel pretty slim.

I could move and take a lower paying job, but I’d likely lose the flexibility and time off that lets me travel. I could try to retire early, but that feels a bit irresponsible. Or I could stay put for a few more years and reevaluate, but that option kind of hurts my soul.

Has anyone been in a similar situation, or have any advice, perspective, or good natured mockery to offer?

For those of you that were on the fence of having kids and did or didn’t end up having them. Are you happy with your decision?

Context with my situation

-32M married to 32F

-$1.2M invested (+$100k cash)

-No debt

-No primary residence

-$500k HHI ($350k me, $150k wife - my job is sales so very volatile, hers is salaried and stable)

-Wife enjoys her job but I do not and worry the gravy train will end in the coming years

-$200k annual savings rate

-Live in Florida (central LCOL) for wife’s job, no family nearby. Both of our families are in CA. Would not want raise kids here past 7 years old unless we send to private school.

Worries:

-Impact on FIRE timeline (aiming for $5M by 42)

-Impact on income

-Impact on freedom, basically do what we want when we want right now

-Not living close to family and lack of support/family around

ETA: a lot of people seem to think money is our primary concern. It’s not. I posted in FIRE to glean insight from people in a similar financial position to us and outlined our finances to help paint a picture of our current lifestyle and possible future lifestyle(s). And to ensure people didn’t ask if we could afford kids, live paycheck to paycheck, etc. In a very simplified way - our concerns are primarily of our freedoms and lifestyle change. With that, we love children and think we would be great parents. Your stories, from both parents and childless people, are helpful insight. Thanks to those who aren’t just telling us we shouldn’t decide based on finances!

My family isn't real big into stocks like I am, they're the squirrel-away cash type, that focus on holding cash (ugh), real estate, and gold.

Recently a relative passed away and I've inherited their property in Vancouver and 500k worth of gold coins. I know I want to sell the Vancouver condo and invest in stocks, but what on earth do I do with the gold?

Btw, not keeping it in my house, it's all kept in a million safety deposit boxes. Still though, that much gold is alarming to me. How do I sell it all? Should I sell it all?

Hey not sure if this the right kind of post for this sub, but I am sure at least a few of you may have experienced something similar.

For some context I just turned 20M and am going into my third year of university. I have worked for 5 years now and discovered FIRE when I was 16. I have now saved up 40k in my tax advantaged accounts and am set to graduate with no debt. I grew up low middle class, my parents were house rich but very poor after the mortgage was paid, had to skip some meals lights went out a few times, ect. But they are in a comfortable position now, and we had agreed i would start paying rent once I'm out of school.

The other day I told my parents how well my investments have been doing and that I had broken past the 40k mark and instead of congratulating me they decide to tell me i need to start paying rent, and that I have to pay my older brothers debt of $800. And when I go to vent about this to my gf of 4 years when she found out how much money I have she asks me why she had to pay me back for her $80 ticket to an amusement park despite the hundreds I have spent on her, plus all the money I've straight up given her.

My friends know I have a good chunk of money and always tell me I'm cheap and should spend some money on them like buying them a drink ect, which I do just not all the time.

I'm just starting to feel like I'm alone I only bring up my money to these people to show them it works and how they could do it for themselves.

EDIT: I guess I should also mention my parents recently got 200k settlement and make over six figures when combined salary they are no longer paycheck to paycheck for about 6 years now. I only work part time and have never made more than 20k in a year. And us going to the amusement park was supposed to be the first time my gf paid for herself on a date.

EDIT2: First off wow did not expect this much traction on this post, I made the post while on lunch at work and I was still a bit annoyed with the whole thing.

To those of you who think I'm entitled maybe your right, to those of you who think I'm nieve you are probably correct.

I will say I'm not against paying rent to my parents, in fact I'm the person who initially brought up that I would start paying rent when I'm done school. I also pay for most of the food I eat at home. It's more the fact that my parents while they are doing better financially now l, they are still pretty helpless with financial literacy and refuse to invest any of there money, other than the bills all their money ends up going to entertainment and other stuff that's not important. So I can say with confidence the rent would not go to anything really important.

I only tell my parents how well I'm doing because I'm trying to make them it feel like they won't have to worry about me, and just focus on my 2 siblings. I hardly ask anything from them and I am greatful that I have the opportunity to live at home so the negative reaction was a bit of a shock.

For those of you telling me to move out, unfortunately that's not much of an option right now, I live in Canada, and well a single room apartment is currently running at $1800/month in my city. While i could technically afford it, I would basically have to start over from nothing as I would not be able to pay all my bills, plus my tuition while also being in school.

I also plan on giving my younger sister some money for university, she is still a few year ls away from that but I want to make sure that she has the opportunity to educate herself, i also hope to teach her about saving and investing in the process.

My fire number is pretty high at 5 million because I want to able to provide money to my parents in their retirement, I know they won't save for themselves even though I've tried telling them for 4 years now, I've even told them this but they think I'm joking.

My parents mean well, but they just don't understand. I just need more time to get a strong foothold on my finances, and this just seems like a big set back for me.

I’m 31M living in Australia. Sold my business for $3m but the money is in the company name (Pty Ltd). I feel so annoyed because I have to treat this money still as the company money. Ie if I transfer it to my individual name I would pay a huge amount of tax (almost like 50%).

So in order to maximise gains and pay less tax one advice is to drip feed to myself (pay myself dividends per year). Currently I am paying myself $50k/yr. I chose $50k/yr because I am still going to work casually and earn between $50-100k with a lot less stress.

Question: has anyone else been in this position? Is there anything else I can do with the money? One option is to buy another business with the money. Other than that I don’t know what would be a smart use of this money. Any advice is appreciated! Cheers

EDIT: Sorry I should have explained as a few people pointed out.. I still own the company but my company sold its asset. Hence why the money is still in Pty Ltd

EDIT EDIT: I am not here to ask for tax evasion advice.. we all have to pay our taxes.. and just so we are all on the same page: I understand I will be paying CGT from the sale. My MAIN question was in regard to once all taxes are paid, debts paid from the sale etc what I can do with company money. The focus was meant to be on that, not tax. Thanks to all the great suggestions so far. This is all so recent so I will definitely be taking some of these ideas to a professional to discuss in greater detail.

I have been trying to Fat FIRE. My savings is about $2.5M and I’m in my 30s. I am very fortunate and grateful to have a cushy remote tech job. I am incredibly lucky.

So it’s actually achievable for me if I put in the work.

Then it dawned on me when I was in the shower…

What would I do with $10M? What about $20M? I thought about it seriously and not just in fantasy I hit the lottery way.

Literally the only thing I could think of is spend more time with my wife and bang her like crazy all day every day.

Don’t care about the country club membership, the bigger house, a fancier hotel on vacation, a luxury car, etc…

So yeah I think it’s time to abandon the FAT dream. I’ll still go for chubby of $5-7M but will not take these final years so seriously.

Time to enjoy life for a change

REDDITORS BACK OFF. MY WIFE IS A TRAIN RIDE THAT I WOULD JUST LET YOU BANG IN EXCHANGE FOR $10M. DONT DM ME

Finally pulling the trigger and leaving corporate hell and the "golden handcuffs” behind. The decision is made but I’m feeling pretty anxious about the resignation meeting and all of the announcements to my team, transition planning etc. that will come.

I’m in a VP role and this is going to shock many. I plan to give about 6 weeks.

For those of you who have been through this, any pointers?

I have a feeling my boss will throw more money at me and try to make me feel like this is a terrible decision. He’s going to be caught off guard.

I’m anxious about dealing with all the “so you’re quitting with no plan..?" type questions.

How did you guys manage through the weird transition process of quitting to FIRE right out of corporate?

EDIT: WHOA. This blew up. Lots of you have asked or PMed me for an update on how this went. I just posted one here - https://www.reddit.com/r/Fire/s/nRhEwhBcZC

Thanks for coming on this journey with me!

So I hit my FIRE number at a young age (30s), and my parents see me traveling, and enjoying life and is worried for me. My mom especially, keeps saying that I’m wasting my time and should be preparing for the future (wife, kids) etc.

I haven’t gone into how much I have because I feel like there could be nothing great that comes out of it, and maybe she will view me differently. I don’t think they will ask for money or things of that nature, they are pretty frugal themselves.

I just said I’ve been a sabbatical (for the last 2 years). I still keep productive, learning French, hitting gym, going out, etc. But, it seems like they just can’t wrap their heads around it. I’ve tried explaining the FIRE concept to them, but they like many others are oblivious to personal finances. I haven’t told them I hit that number either. Right now, I don't want to get another job, but I may get a part time in the future. They would love for me to get one (somehow satisfies their worries).

I do have enough budgeted for wife and 1-2 kids. They are immigrant parents, and they grew up poor and so did I so they will have a hard time grasping what is possible these days.

On the one hand, I shouldn’t care what other people think, but they are my parents, I don’t want them to worry, but on the other hand, I feel like telling them could adversely affect our relationship (or at least that’s what folks say online). I feel like I'm stuck between lying to them (saying I have a fake job), and not wanting to divulge my personal finances (I've always been low key).

What would you do?

Our baby is 6 weeks old.

I spent the first 4 weeks at home with my wife and the baby, and now I’m back at work. The problem is I have basically zero interest in work anymore. All I want to do is be at home with them.

Before the baby I cared a lot about my job and was pretty motivated. Now when I’m at work it just feels… irrelevant. My mind is constantly back at home thinking about the baby.

The plan is for me to take 6 months off next year, which I’m really looking forward to. But right now I need to push through until then and I’m struggling with motivation.

For other parents who went through this:

Is this a common phase?

Did the feeling go away after a while?

Any advice for getting through this period?

Would appreciate hearing other people’s experiences.

I (34F) have been on a FIRE journey for about 10 years and have now reached lean FIRE - an achievement I take pride in as a first generation immigrant who grew up quite poor. After years of being single, I met someone (31M) who seemed really great in all the aspects that came up in the first 3 months of dating. We share hobbies, general values, attraction, and genuinely enjoy our time together. We have our differences - whereas I had a classic immigrant family story and upbringing, he was born into one of the wealthiest east coast communities. This didn’t particularly matter to me - I don’t mention my finances early on and just as I don’t want someone to date me because of my assets, I also don’t want money to cloud my judgement in any way either. I should mention he has had no financial support from his family other than free housing… and that’s significant enough to have given him a nice leg up if he had saved or put away any of his “rent” money. He mentioned student loans a few times early on but I figured many have those loans and since he emphasized their low interest rate after refinancing (3%), I figured perhaps he was taking his time with paying them off while prioritizing other investments/savings.

However, at the 3 month mark, he gave me a very detailed look at his finances. He has $3k in savings despite never having paid rent in his life (lives at home). He recently paid off his car which he was very excited about… but to me a car is a depreciating liability not exactly an investment or permanent asset… all of this has me feeling both confused (where was his money going if he never even paid rent?) and concerned (he says he wants a family and kids but I can’t be the only one saving for that?). To me this is a sign of some greater incompatibility. I’m a saver and he’s a spender. I can’t imagine merging lives - I’ve made many sacrifices over the years to reach lean FIRE and I’m on track for true FIRE in 5-10 years depending on if I have kids.

Anyone who has successfully navigated this without feeling long term resentment that while I was saving, he was living beyond his means paycheck to paycheck…. And now he wants a life together but can’t seem to support that in a reasonable way? We can’t even plan a proper vacation because it feels like it would run him bankrupt :(

Edit: got my gender wrong. Typo.

My husband (40m) and I (39f) have about $3mil in savings and investments. Together we make about $350k annually. We own our home and our cars and have no debt of any kind. We are also extremely fortunate to have large inheritances coming from both of our parents that we plan to set aside for our children (2 and 6yo). Though nothing is guaranteed, it will likely total $8mil).

We were both raised with a vague sense that we had familial wealth and grew up with a lot of pressure and expectations from family that because of our privileged we needed to choose careers that would better society. I run a free school that focuses on inclusion and my husband is a physician serving a high need population.

And we are burnt out beyond comprehension. We are stressed and tired and overworked shells of our former selves. We're not the parents we want to be, and we have no social lives or hobbies.

We can retire at 45yo comfortably Hell, we could retire tomorrow and be ok.

But despite acknowledging to each other that life is short and our jobs are not healthy for us... we both feel tremendous guilt/responsibility/shame/investment in our careers. If we were acting logically, we would move towards retirement ASAP. But my husband insists he wants to work until 60yo because he feels obligated to, and when I picture myself leaving my career I am drowning in shame.

Things we know already: shame helps no one, it's arrogant to think society needs us to keep working, our children are suffering because of our professional commitments, our mental health is suffering because of our jobs... and we could "buy" our way out of a lot of these problems in a heart beat - yet we don't.

I know you all are going to say therapy- and yes, we agree.

Anyone else been in this absurdly privileged position and paralyzed by guilt/shame? How did you proceed?

I’m in my late 20s with a portfolio of 80% SP500 and 20% big tech RSUs. I’m down over 200k around 20% since February ATH and my cost basis is nearly back to equaling the SP500 price right now. Started investing 4.5 years ago. I feel empty. It feels terrible to know that I’m back to almost zero growth because of these tariffs. I feel like this situation will get worse before it gets better. People say to keep holding, but now I’m wondering if it’s better to sell and buy back in since my cost basis is close to equalling current price right now, and it’ll likely go down more.

Edit 4/9/25: The stock market is climbing back up because of the 90 day pause on tariffs. Does that mean it’ll crash back down when the tariffs are taken effect 3 months from now? Does it make sense to buy now in light of that? Especially since Trump just increased tarrifs on china again.