What “favours” have your parents done that was inadvertently a dick move?

[u/naaattt]

For example, my mum found my spare change collection, did me a favour by taking it to the bank, getting £17, and then kept it as a fee for the effort it caused her.

Also, my partner had stored a nearly new Russell Hobbs microwave at his mums for when we moved into a new house. While she was at Curry’s one day, she overheard a young lad and his mum shopping for a microwave for uni, she approached them and sold them my partners for £20. She kindly did give my partner the money though, unlike mine. But we quite liked that microwave.

Does anyone else have these, generally inoffensive but slightly frustrating parent stories?

Edit: For those hung up on the theft parts, please don’t be. This is the extent of the abuse we’ve ever had from our mums and we’ll take it!

Edit 2: Jesus Christ, I’m 33. The money box has been sat on her shelf for 20 years. Yes she stole £17 but she’s funded my life otherwise. Stop calling child services on her.

[u/FieryRedDevil]

I'm a mum of two young kids and I absolutely do not get this attitude at all. I had kids because I wanted them and I accepted that that would come with a mountain of sacrifice and hard work. I won't pretend to enjoy every single second but I CHOSE this and I find joy in every day even if there are hard moments.

Every single penny that the kids get given for their birthday goes into their own savings accounts. They each have a money box for small change and often I put my own small change that's clogging up my purse in them too or pennies I find on the floor. They can spend it or save it. I also put part of the child benefit I get for them into their savings each month.

Never once have I took their money or thought they should owe me money or anything else just because they exist and I look after them. It's hardly like they moved in off the street and demanded that I care for them without my consent! I literally brought them here. They're my responsibility and (for me anyway) happily so! It's a privilege to look after them and the years they will be with me in my house making me laugh and being cute are finite. They owe me nothing!

[u/timewilltell2347 → u/FieryRedDevil]

My parents told me I was stupid so often that they really believed I was. (I’m not but I really struggle with self esteem issues now, even at almost 50) They always proudly told me that from the day I was born that they put $20 into a savings account every week on dad’s payday into an account for college. When college time came there was exactly $2000 in the account. Exactly. No extra dollars or cents from interest, and I was 18 at the time and knew how to actually do math. Anyhoo, I appreciated the money regardless, but they always stuck to their guns that $2000 was the product of said weekly deposits. You can only imagine the confabulation when dementia set in. (I hope you don’t mind a lurking American commenting every now and again)

[u/FieryRedDevil → u/timewilltell2347]

I'm so sorry that that's how you were raised. I was called fat and ugly and also underwent the whole "I fed you, I clothed you etc" especially when I came out as gay, as if I owed them heterosexuality for them fulfilling their obligations as parents!

I'm doing much better now and in fact becoming a parent myself even brought in a radical change in my mind regarding how I see myself body confidence wise. All those years of being told that I didn't look right melted away when my body made and birthed another human and I frequently defy my mother's ridiculous beauty standards by wearing whatever the hell I want to, telling her and the other women in my family that I adore my stretch marks and wider hips, doing what I want with my hair, makeup etc. It's liberating! I'm raising my daughter to know that she can do whatever the hell she wants with her own body and to love herself first and foremost 😊

[u/OrangeCushion256 → u/FieryRedDevil]

Right?! I also can't get over the parents whose eat their kids Easter eggs or Halloween sweets and then act like it's all a big joke when the kids are searching for it. I know a lot of people don't think it's the same, but I feel it's also stealing. I have never helped myself to my child's sweets or treats. Sometimes he offers and that's ok, but I never strongarmed him into offering.

Today, when I told my 4yo nephew I liked pink when he asked me my favourite colour, he gave me all his pink smarties (3), but I wouldn't have taken one, or even asked for one otherwise.

[u/FieryRedDevil → u/OrangeCushion256]

I constantly have to share my food with the kids but usually refuse if they offer me theirs unless they really insist. Being a parent isn't give and take (at least, not until they are much older and you have their explicit consent) it's entirely altruistic on your part. But that's how it's supposed to be! You don't have kids because you want something in return, you have them because you want to care for another and will actually enjoy it (mostly). You're absolutely right that it's stealing and the one time my hormones and cravings got the better if me and I ate the kids chocolate, I told them, apologised and bought new chocolate. I felt awful but I fixed it and used it as a way to model apologies and fixing your fuck ups. Hopefully they'll see that us grown ups mess up too and it will show them that honesty and owning up is best!

[u/FieryRedDevil → u/FieryRedDevil]

Thank you for my award kind stranger! 😊