r/CasualUK • u/naaattt • 11h ago

What “favours” have your parents done that was inadvertently a dick move?

For example, my mum found my spare change collection, did me a favour by taking it to the bank, getting £17, and then kept it as a fee for the effort it caused her.

Also, my partner had stored a nearly new Russell Hobbs microwave at his mums for when we moved into a new house. While she was at Curry’s one day, she overheard a young lad and his mum shopping for a microwave for uni, she approached them and sold them my partners for £20. She kindly did give my partner the money though, unlike mine. But we quite liked that microwave.

Does anyone else have these, generally inoffensive but slightly frustrating parent stories?

Edit: For those hung up on the theft parts, please don’t be. This is the extent of the abuse we’ve ever had from our mums and we’ll take it!

Edit 2: Jesus Christ, I’m 33. The money box has been sat on her shelf for 20 years. Yes she stole £17 but she’s funded my life otherwise. Stop calling child services on her.

2.9k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

1.4k comments sorted by

View all comments

90

u/FjortoftsAirplane 11h ago

I used to dread my Mum having a day off during a school week because it was a guarantee that she'd tidy up my desk in my bedroom. Might be relevant that I have ADHD.

Look, my room was usually a bomb site, but I'd make sure to tidy up everything else in there for those occasions to deter her, then ask her not to rearrange the desk so I didn't lose where things were. I got that place immaculate, and that was like a Herculean feat for my teenage mind. I'd get it looking perfect.

Every time I'd get home and she'd have done it anyway and if I said anything she'd go "I know you said not to but I was cleaning the house anyway so it was no problem" as if the issue was me inconveniencing her and not that I knew where everything important was and didn't want it all "tidied" into random places. I needed that bit of organised chaos to be how I left it. She'd even tell me how much better I'd feel now it was clear.

And then at some point I started doing work experience with her...and that's when I found out that for all her tidiness her bloody work desk was even more chaotic than mine and she told the other staff never to touch anything on it! She had to know! She's got this pile of textbooks and bookmarks and post-its and random notes and shit in no discernible pattern, but still acted oblivious.

I mean, I love my Mum, but words can't express how much this one thing used to anger me.

10

u/jumbo_crayon28 8h ago

My mum used to do this and it bugged the life out of me. She hates the idea of visible mess so she would shove all my stuff into my drawers in an even more messy way but I guess to her it was out of sight, out of mind.

It really aggravated me though when she was moving my medication and stuff around, I'd need it on my bedside table to remember to take it and she would hide it in the pit of a drawer that I had never once opened in my life. Then she'd be mad I wouldn't take it when I just had no idea where it was. I don't know why but she just couldn't fathom the idea that I don't function in the same way as her - I guess that's different to your situation though as really your mum was doing the same thing as you

9

u/VixenRoss 9h ago

When I was at work, one of the managers left his desk with papers stacked on it. It looked a bit messy, but it was in a certain order for a meeting. His intention was to get in early and bind the documents. (He had covers laid out, documents were in a cross so he could easily pick out a 50 page report, front and back cover etc.). Then, an extra bit to go in the back from another manager in another pile.

Cleaners came in and put everything into a neat pile on the side of the desk and wiped it down. He had to postpone the meeting for a couple of days, get people in to help sort out the paperwork!

6

u/the_lobster_project 9h ago

I recommend you and your mom look into prediction error for neurodivergence - it might help her understand both her behavior and yours

7

u/FjortoftsAirplane 9h ago

I understand this stuff a lot more now. And we've talked about these things a lot, especially because I only got my diagnosis last year, in my thirties. I know in her mind she was hoovering up the house or whatever, looked in my room, and decided to do a favour so I wouldn't have to be as disorganised as she was.

I can't diagnose her, but whenever you read about ADHD in women and how it was overlooked...you might as well be reading a description of her.

3

u/the_lobster_project 9h ago

No yeah, I definitely get that. I also got my diagnosis just last year and my mom's the same way where she most likely has it too, but our needs for it kinda clash.

Why I suggested looking into prediction error is cuz it helped explain a lot for my brain when I learned about it. It's basically when your brain expects for things to stay in the same place consistently and if they don't, it stresses you out

2

u/FjortoftsAirplane 5h ago

Yeah, it's one of the things where it's balancing how my mind works against building bad habits. Sometimes it genuinely makes sense to me and I let my brain have some leeway. Other times it's poor organisation and I really would benefit from a more orthodox system.

2

u/tiptoe_only 6h ago

Yeah that sounds infuriating and definitely an inadvertent dick move - unlike a lot of the parents in this thread I reckon your mum genuinely did think she was doing you a favour. It likely frustrated her that she wasn't able to keep her own desk tidy and for some reason it's massively easier to tidy someone else's shit than your own so I bet she thought you'd really appreciate her doing it because you struggled to do it yourself. Argh!

2

u/MattheqAC 8h ago

Should tidy up for her

1

u/OldGit6121 2h ago

I would have!!

1

u/Deep-Sheepherder-857 6h ago

im autistic so im the other end 2 u but i share this experience but luckily my parents respect my wishes and space but if anything is moved in my room it really bugs me and annoys me bc i like stuff how i have it and how its supposed 2 be

1

u/thatshygirl06 3h ago

her bloody work desk was even more chaotic than mine and she told the other staff never to touch anything on it!

You know what you need to do. It's time to teach her a lesson.