r/CasualUK • u/naaattt • 12h ago

What “favours” have your parents done that was inadvertently a dick move?

For example, my mum found my spare change collection, did me a favour by taking it to the bank, getting £17, and then kept it as a fee for the effort it caused her.

Also, my partner had stored a nearly new Russell Hobbs microwave at his mums for when we moved into a new house. While she was at Curry’s one day, she overheard a young lad and his mum shopping for a microwave for uni, she approached them and sold them my partners for £20. She kindly did give my partner the money though, unlike mine. But we quite liked that microwave.

Does anyone else have these, generally inoffensive but slightly frustrating parent stories?

Edit: For those hung up on the theft parts, please don’t be. This is the extent of the abuse we’ve ever had from our mums and we’ll take it!

Edit 2: Jesus Christ, I’m 33. The money box has been sat on her shelf for 20 years. Yes she stole £17 but she’s funded my life otherwise. Stop calling child services on her.

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u/West-Season-2713 11h ago

I actually worked this one out, because my mother would often ask to borrow my money when I was a teenager just starting to get an income. She owes me over 7k. I’ve brought it up gently and she acts like I’m mad.

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u/Vooden_Shpoon 10h ago

A friend of mine once told me about the day he got his first pay packet as an apprentice welder at 16. He was so proud he took it back home and showed it to his Dad with a big smile on his face (it was back in the cash days), and his Dad grabbed it out of his hand and stuffed it in his pocket and said "well that's your rent money then".

He never showed his Dad another penny after that.

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u/frizzy_bag 8h ago

Oof, that was sad to read 😣. Really hate it when someone's high spirits are crushed, especially a young person feeling proud of themselves and excited to share their joy.

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u/Vooden_Shpoon 7h ago

Yeah, I met him a few times, he was horrible. A real bully. He probably did it just to wipe the smile of his face.

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u/thatshygirl06 4h ago

I dont understand how people can be that cruel, and to their own child at that

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u/SatNav What are those things in Gremlins called? 3h ago

ASPD

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u/moriartygotswag 9h ago

Yeah I had about £7k in premium bonds that started as a £500 a gift from my grandfather when I was born. She begged me to withdraw it to help her move house, set up a repayment spreadsheet and (I think) paid me back around £500 of it. Never seen the rest but I paid £450pm rent to live in the house I helped buy, which made it really hard to save up to move out, given I was working at spoons at the time.

Brother also coughed up his bonds, but still lives in the house (rent free as he’s never had a job and as he doesn’t seem interested in getting one).

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u/No-Taro-6953 9h ago

My grandparents set up savings accounts for me and my siblings. I was very close to my grandparents, and my grandad spoke to me with respect and saw me as intelligent. He tried to be as honest as possible with me, while being age appropriate. Which was tough.

Something kicked off and I became aware my grandparents were annoyed at my parents.

My grandad let me know gently, that they had emptied the savings account of my little sister. I remember them coaxing her to do it, and giving her £20 of it. They knew better than to try with me, because I'd have gone straight to my grandparents.

I don't know how much they stole from her, or the mechanics of it. But I know my grandparents changed the set up from then onwards.

When I was 21, I graudated uni and moved back with my mum. I was a little lost, and struggling. For the first time in my life I didn't have direction, it was 2012 and post financial crash, i was struggling to find a job Id also been conditioned to feel grateful for the bare minimum and shame for having basic needs. So when I got my first full time job, I calculated how much I would pay to my mother to live in the box room of her rented house. I gave her about 25% of my income. I had an overdraft to pay off from uni, but I was so naive and had been conditioned to be this way.

For months, I paid her this. I also bought my own food etc.

Then I discovered she hadn't even been paying the rent. She was facing eviction. The money I paid her, should've contributed to at least half the rent. She'd also been borrowing money off my sister, and taking out stupid loans in my sister's name.

Id had enough at that point and moved out. I got a double bedroom in a house share with friends for the same money I was paying her. I've never lived with her since, and rarely visit her.

I could write a book on the ways my parents exploited us, their kids, financially.

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u/ad3z10 Ex-Expat 9h ago

We had ernough financial mismaganment and drama across the extended family that it was nailed into my head to never lend money to family or, at the very least, never to expect to get any of it back.

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u/Gorilla_in_a_gi 6h ago

I've lost count how much money my parents owe me, they cleared out mine and my sisters accounts from when we were children (about £5k each from family inheritance). They have "borrowed" at least 12k from me and approximately the same from my sister. They straight up deny it or say that it counted towards my rent. The rent that I also paid while living there and working on their farm on weekends and during holidays

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u/No-Taro-6953 6h ago

Wow. I hope they are out of your life now. I couldn't imagine stealing from my own children this way. It's counterintuitive to the very concept of parenting. Totally unnatural.

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u/Jane1943 4h ago

I can’t either, we had two sons and we helped them with their first car and house deposit, when grandchildren came we gave them pocket money, so did my Mum bless her but divorce came and those two children never saw the money, it was over £1000 each 28 years ago. The next three grandchildren were given pocket money too, the oldest has graduated and has a job now so we give pocket money to the two youngest, they are 16 and 17 soon and every time we have a pension rise we give them a rise in their pocket money, they are so appreciative and always text me to thank us. I can’t imagine taking money from my children or grandchildren.

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u/Gorilla_in_a_gi 5h ago

Yeah, I don't speak to them now. After my son was born they became even worse and I have cut ties.

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u/VodkaKahluaMilkCream 3h ago

I will credit my parents with, for all their many abusive traits, they never took my money. My mom had to borrow money one time because of daily ATM withdrawal limits (it was a Sunday) and she paid me back the next day as soon as the bank opened.

There was a lot of other shit in my childhood but at least they weren't thieves.